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Found 9 results

  1. Hi All, As the title states I am in a new relationship (around the 6 months mark now) and think I am with someone who suffers from Asperger’s. He is 56 and runs his own business in the animal care industry. I started working for him around 8 months ago and we got together 2 months after. There is a strain causing us problems which I will get to… I’m just wanting to know if a) he is an aspie and how do I deal with it to make the relationship work?! He is not diagnosed but shows the following traits: - When something bad happens he withdraws really bad. He blames himself for anything that goes wrong and goes on a sort of ‘guilt’ trip. - If everything is going right or something good happens then he wont leave me alone, constant text messages, asking me to stay etc…However when he’s down or something bad happens he doesn’t want to know that I am there for him - He gets obsessed by things. He’s obsessed with dogs n cats and so much so created a sanctuary for them (nothing wrong with that but he gets worried if one of the dogs or cats coughs once – I’m talking emergency vets the lot. We also had a rat problem and instead of getting rid of them he was feeding them fruit….yes feeding the rats). When he gets obsessed it becomes his life and all he can talk about. - If I hurt myself he will hurt me even more sometimes. I donated blood and was showing him my arm where I gave blood, it started to swell a little and all I said was ‘feel the swelling!’. He responded by harshly pushing down on the swelling and when I yelped he just looked at me with a smerk. I was also bitten by a dog on my arm, although he was attentive in making sure I was ok the day after he grabbed my arm till I shouted at him to stop. No emotion on his face and no apology. - Can’t get him to leave his home/workplace. He lives where he works and I have mentioned time and time again for us to get out and do something as a couple. The job is very demanding and tiring but he always makes an excuse to not leave. Now I’ve seen pictures of him doing something work related outside of his home/workplace but this was around 6 years ago so maybe he’s got worse in not wanting to break his routine as he’s got older? - If his routine is broken or something alters it then he breaks down. For example someone he works for him wanted time off during Christmas, he responded by shouting, getting upset, throwing his phone across the building and slamming the door shut behind him. An hour after he composed himself he acted like nothing happened. - Snaps in the most unusual situations. He was tired and attempting to put something in oven. He dropped a roll of tin foil and as a result he ripped the tin foil into a million one pieces and acted like he did nothing wrong. - Can’t eat anything different – nor can I cook for him. I feel this goes in the OCD category but when I stay we eat the same thing, literally. If I buy us something different to try he moans and we have to go the same takeaway and order the same meal we always have from there. If the order is wrong then he gets very agitated. I’ve offered every week to cook us something but he won’t allow it. - overheats during sex. He doesn’t just get a bit warm he sweats and feels as if he’s about boil alive!!! When I’ve googled I’ve heard It’s an aspie trait. It may only be 6 months but I am absolutely in love with this guy, he’s great to be around and I love to listen to his obsessions and way of thinking. However over the last month we’ve found out his parent is sadly on the decline and looking like his parent will pass away. I’ve never lost a parent so I can’t imagine the pain he’s going through. I’ve noticed he’s started to withdraw from the relationship and when he’s really down I’ll find him asleep on the kitchen table, when I ask him to come to bed he calls me a nag and tells me to leave him alone. When he eventually goes to bed it’s as if I’m not there. We still make love (although on the days something bad has happened I’m just another work colleague and I have to force a kiss out him) and talk but I feel he really couldn’t care less if I am there when work finishes or not as before he would love me to stay and made a point of coming to find me…even just for a kiss! I want to be there for him but not come across as a nag which I am being to him. What is the best way to deal with someone who has Aspergers? I feel at times we are so close but yet far away and when I try and get us close it’s like I’m being too needy. If anyone has a husband/partner like this then how do you deal with it? Any tips or guidance would be muchly appreciated. So sorry for the long post, I don’t want to loose this relationship just because I don’t know how to handle someone with aspergers. Also sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes – I’m very word blind. Thank you.
  2. Quick introduction - I'm Monica, mum to Ada, 6yo. Neither of us is diagnosed with Asperger but we both could be, probably. I'm on this forum in search of answers to what is best for my daughter. To cut a long story short, the school is pushing for a referral to a psychologist and a diagnosis of Asperger for my 6yo daughter. They base their recommendation on a combination of characteristics - my daughter is rather advanced academically, she is an oddball, she is emotionally sensitive and a bit on the anxious side, she is a bit of a pain to a teacher as she is perfectionist, competitive , demanding and tireless, requiring lots of activity and attention, without which she can be either irritating or overemotional. I know my daughter very well and after reading quite a bit of reading I concluded two things - Based on others Asperger diagnosed traits, it is possible that a diagnosis of mild Aspg could be made for Ada. - There's nothing wrong with Asperger people except that the normal folk don't get them and find them odd (with all the attached social implications). The school is presenting a possible diagnosis as a wonderful opportunity for my child to get all the help and attention she deserves. I'm not buying it, judging by the 'help' already given it is just an opportunity for them to do away with all the hard work she requires by having a couple of 'support' sessions every week. However, I'm trying to keep an open mind - a proper psychologist might be a different thing altogether. I would really appreciate some views on if and how a diagnosis has been of benefit to you or your child. Ada is only 6 so she doesn't yet feel like a freak. She might get there later but at the moment I fear that an official diagnosis will change people's attitude towards her and she will be made to feel like one. Thanks in advance to those who do respond
  3. Hi, I'm starting a masters degree in English Literature this year and I'm in a bit of a dilemma regarding when, if at all, I tell fellow students that I have pretty strong Asperger's Syndrome. Whilst I am a very emotional person, I don't express it very well at all, so when I did my first degree I suspect that I missed out on making friends and socialising because maybe I gave the impression that I wasn't interested. I was wondering if any of you out there have been in a similar situation and could share what happened. At the moment my plan is to tell my peers that I have AS because, even though I didn't know I had AS when I did my first degree, I didn't share it with anyone and it didn't end up very well. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. - Skaro7
  4. Skaro7

    Just Joined

    Hi, Recently been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and I was advised to join this forum. I've slipped through the net all my life and have now been diagnosed at the age of 23 and to be truthful I've got mixed feelings about it - It's relieving and scary at the same time to know that I'll never be like most people. It's good to see so many people on here so thank you for running this forum and making me feel a little more at ease with my condition. - Bob
  5. Hi All, Ever since I was diagnosed a few weeks ago I've been thinking: is it best to tell all of your friends and family about your ASD or should it be kept to yourself? I can't decide. On the one hand I hope that by telling everyone I know that I have Asperger's syndrome it will help them to understand me more and that I've acted strangely, and sometimes upset people because I have a condition that I was born with and cannot change. Not because I'm a self-centered prat who doesn't care about their feelings. However, I worry that most will just think that telling them that I've got AS is an admission of insanity, which of course it isn't, and they would start treating me like I'm mentally retarded - or even worse they might just avoid me all together. A fair few of the people I know, I fear, are old fashioned like that. So, I'm hoping to gauge some opinion as to what others may do, or have done, in similar circumstances. Cheers, - Bob
  6. I took a asperger test. From 32 and above, it is a chance for to have asperger. I scored the lowest 32. But a test i taked when i was 22 resulted in asperger syndrome. Should i take the test again?
  7. Hello Everyone, I'd like to collect any kind of information about primary schools in Scotland (if someone knows good primary schools around Musselburgh-Prestonpans, it would be fantastic). We have an almost 4.5 years old NT son and a 6 years old son who has Asperger syndrome (and milk protein allergy). We are planning to move to somewhere around Musselburgh or Prestonpans (or Edinburgh) from Budapest, Hungary. None of our kids speak English which makes the whole school problem very difficult. At the moment my husband is working in England and me and the kids are in Budapest (we plan to move in the next spring). I will travel to Edinburgh in January to arrange a house and a school, but till then I need to know all the important information about primary schools for children with ASD. I can't find on the schools' web pages anything about integrating children with mild disabilty like Asperger. My son is on the edge, he's a high functioning boy with very good communication skills (despite of his AS), but he needs a small help though like visual help or just some motivating action (e.g. collecting stickers to get some reward), so the teacher should know about his Asperger, but he doesn't need too much help. I don't understand some things, so here are my questions: Is there any law or rules applyed to Scottish primary schools affecting these children? Which schools can take in children with ASD? I read about the Equality Act 2010, does that mean that e.g. my son could attend to any primary school in Scotland? What is a statement that a child can get? What kind of development treat can get a child with ASD in the school? What kind of language help can get a foreign, non English speaking child in a primary school? Thank you very much in advance for all answers!!
  8. Hi there, I have just joined this forum and would like other s thoughts or advice regarding my 23 yr old son. I and other family members have all had similar thoughts about my son, and think he shows signs of possible aspergers. From a young age he has always been in the higher intelligence bracket, this was originally picked up in porimary school and he was put forward for special extra activities. As the school years went by, he became 'over confident' with his abilities and gave up trying. As he approached later teens, he hardly had friends or any constant friends and never seemed to really connect with anyone to any degree. He started work, and although he was always dedicated to his job, found it hard to keep to the time requirements of whatever job he did. Always late or almost late because of never leaving himself time to get there etc. He always leaves things to the last minute and never prepares for anything in advance and it never really seemed to sink in the reality of such time requirements. His father and I split up many years ago when he was about 3 yrs old. He had contact with his dad regularly, went on holidays with his siblings to visit him abroad etc. but since he has grown older and his dad has returned to the uk, he can't see the necessity of getting in touch with him or understanding other peoples anguish at his not doing so. He lost his last job a couple of years ago, and although supposedly looking for work. seemed to absorb himself into playing games online, the same game, day in, day out. never wanting or needing a life of his own. Reclusing himself to his room. He had no real life friends or any social life and didnt seem to want any. Three months ago, he moved to Germany to be a houseguest of an online friend, he prepared himself reasonably well for that , well sufficiently for him to move to Germany. He, despite suggestions to contact his dad and siblings just to say 'goodbye' before he left, just couldn't understand why he would need to, and subsequently after being out in Germany spent a long time chatting to me online trying to understand WHY they were upset at his not having contacted them prior to his departure. I tried for so long to explain that people have feelings and worry, but he just did NOT understand even though he said he was trying to understand. Looking back over his childhood, there seem to be so many things which seem to fall into line with possible aspergers syndrome. I just don't know where to go from here or know how to help or get through to him to understand or to interact in a normal manner with those around him. There is so much more to his story, but I just need some advice please. Ann
  9. Hi everyone, I'm a researcher at University College London conducting an experiment into the visual attention ability and time perception ability of high functioning adults with ASD and Asperger syndrome. We think that under some circumstances people with autism might be better than other people at concentrating on a task despite distractions from other information. We hope that the results of our study will help us work out why people with autism find some tasks easier and some tasks more difficult than people without autism. To do this, we're looking for participants to come to Bloomsbury near Euston station for some simple behavioural tasks. We can pay for time and travel expenses up to a certain amount. None of this research can be done without people who are willing to participate in our study! I don't expect anyone to turn up to a study based on a forum post alone, so if you're in the London area and would be interested in taking part or know anyone else who is, please PM me and I'll send you some more information and my email address. Thanks!
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