Could I have a word please?

[zaman]

When I arrived to pick up the kids from their afterschool club, the organiser uttered this line to me. Luckily, it was fine, she just wanted feedback on how they are settling in. But having had so many problems with child care, and school, etc, that sentence just makes my blood run cold as it has always been followed up with the person telling me about a problem, why they can no longer look after the kids, etc.

 

I realised that I usually try to manage to avoid a situation where someone can say it to me by talking rubbish at them, or being overly nice, or busy, etc. thereby creating a barrier and not letting them get a word in.

 

Does that line have the same affect on others?

Edited November 15, 2006 by zaman

[stressedmumto2]

Yep that line does it tome too along with "are you ok", just as someone asks that I generally burst into tears if I'm feeling down.

 

Glad the organiser just wanted feed-back seems nice that she's asked you how they are with it <'>

[av16]

I hate it when I turn on my phone during the day (I can't have it with me all the time) and I get a message asking me to ring the school. I had 2 today! DS (9yrs AS) is going away with school for 2 nights next week; they wanted to let me know any violent incidents and I will be asked to get him. I think they're doing well to include him but I will be a nervous wreck next week!

AV

[loupin]

I usually start sobbing the minute any one says can we have a word? or Mrs C do you have a few minutes!!! If they are then telling me something nice i continue crying!!!! Not much hope eh???!!

[smiley]

'Can you pop into the office ten minutes before pick-up today'

 

'He's lively isn't he - does he usually bounce around like that?'

 

Phonecall.... 'Hello, don't worry, he's not poorly....just wanted to have a quick word..'

 

<'>

[zaman]

I'm so glad it's not just me! Sounds like we spend so much of our time trying to hold things together, and then someone comes along and bursts the bubble. I've only recently gone back to work again, and so am reliant on the after school club for childcare, it being the latest in a long line of childcare options that we have gradually worked though, and I realised from my reaction to her that I'd jut been waiting for the shoe to drop.

 

My god how I hate being asked to 'pop' anywhere though . . .

Edited November 15, 2006 by zaman

[Kathryn]

I know what you mean. It throws me into a panic too. The worst occasion was when the teacher came out into the playground, summoned me into the classroom to "have a word" and SHUT THE CLASSROOM DOOR so we could be alone.

 

K x

[sylvm]

Or when DD comes out of school and says "Miss X wants to see you."

[Karen A]

I don't need any words at all-one particular look on Ben's face as he stomps past me into the playground-I know I will be needed to speak to somone.Karen

[barefoot wend]

'I don't want to worry you, but.....'

[smiley]

I'm just as jumpy when they call me in to tell me something wonderful....

 

When i was training for this n that, we were taught about a 'Pooh sandwich' . Basically, if you need to speak to a parent - you first give them something positive..."X has done this really great whatever". Then you give them something horrid - as in "We've noticed that......". Then you give them the "This is what we're going to do to help..." bit...........

 

Positive - Negative - Positive = Pooh sandwich!

 

(Sometimes it doesn't pay to have insider info!! )

 

I had the stomach dropping one today. M's 1:1 hesitated for ages when i said -

"How's he been?".

"................................... .....................................Erm.................... ...........................Yeah, he's been fine...great"

I legged it...

[darky]

i try to avoid all eye contact!! if i get eye contact for more than a few seconds, i know im going to get some chilling words! i then want to hide!

[Kathryn]

Smiley -

 

I don't think I was ever given the Pooh sandwich, just the Pooh - sometimes just tipped over my head, it feels.

 

K x

Edited November 17, 2006 by Kathryn

[gladysmay]

Smiley -

 

I don't think I was ever given the Pooh sandwich, just the Pooh - sometimes just tipped over my head, it feels.

 

K x

 

that made me laugh, happy days

[Bagpuss]

 

Kathryn and Smiley

[Flora]

I remember an occasion a few years ago, pre dx for both boys and I was still in denial, hoping to be reassured that all kids were like that etc etc. The deputy head came up to me when I was picking them up from school, they were breaking up for half term. She said;

 

'I think it's time we talked about your boys, I'll see you after half term'... then walked away.

 

That was it! I was left all week feeling sick to my stomach.... 3 weeks later Bill was dx with AS so I guess I should thank her really, but I still feel sick when I remember the day she said that.

 

Flora

[hev]

when steve was at mainstream i was called in EVERY single day,i used to dread going up that school,in the end i used to send poor old nick up there

[Steel Maiden]

I cannot stand certain phrases either. Some phrases make me want to hit the person - yes, it gets that bad sometimes.

[Platefull of Love]

I know when a teacher wants to speak to you, you automatically seem to think, what has he done, the same when the phone rings & they say its x from Y school, I get a fear right from the start thinking, what has he done now :s

[Steel Maiden]

I get the same chill down my spine, but I think "what have I done now?". I don't get into trouble much, but I used to when I was younger.

[Stephanie]

Yeah I got that on Friday (see post) ...

 

When the Head Teacher and the school Teacher started walking towards me in the playground as I waited to pick my son up I knew it was bad news. "Can we have a quick word" ... all hushed tones so none of the other parents could hear, me feeling totally let down and humiliated.

 

It's the sentence that automatically makes me feel like I am the worst parent ever.