school meetings

[tracey]

HI

seem to be going through bad week rubbish meeting at cahms with psychiatrist followed by

school meeting from hell

I am a single parent so go to these meetings on my own and wondered if it may help to

take someone with me such as a professional i.e if I contact education advice line there

may be someone who can help

any ideas

tracey

[oxgirl]

What about taking a family member or friend who knows you and your child personally and can give moral and emotional support to you? I've no experience of taking professionals to meetings myself.

I have another emergency meeting at school tomorrow and I'm dreading it, but at least I've got my hub for support. I always feel that taking someone who doesn't really understand my child personally isn't going to be that helpful, but I could be totally wrong, they could think of questions or points that we can't.

Best of luck.

 

~ Mel ~

[Kazzen161]

There is something to be said for taking someone who can distance themselves emotionally from what is being said (and to restrain you if necessary - lol!). They can make unbiased notes and ask for points to be clarified.

 

Karen

[Nic m]

Hi Tracey,

I am in the fortunate position of having support from the strathclyde autistic support group and the family support worker attends school meetings with me she has been a great help to me.At the last school meeting she couldnt make it (because the school changed the date) and i will never attend another meeting without support because of the way they behaved.Many things are left off the minutes of meetings and only because i have someone there who can say they also remember things being discussed or agreed are the minutes amended.Now you may have a different experience with your school but i would definitely say take someone with you if you can.

Nicola

[curra]

Hi Tracey

 

I'm also a lone parent and went to several meetings on my own, but I never got much out of them . Lots of promises were made but most of them were never kept. The last meeting I went with a friendly worker from the NAS who happens to know my son, so it was a huge difference. She could explain many things in a professional way that I was not able to because I get emotional and lost for words. I would say definitely yes, take someone with you. If they don't know your son, perhaps it would be a good idea to let this person meet him before.

 

Best of luck!

 

 

Curra

[tracey]

Hi All

thanks for replies

am going to look into this

The next school meeting is going to be in my home as it is difficult to get my daughter to

attend meetings in school

I think what their going to propose is too stagger her gradually back into school

will be difficult as she has been out since march

Tracey

[JsMum]

If the relationship between school and parents is a good one and fair then there should be no reasons for taking someone with you unless you want to have someone else to be able to stand back and take in things you may forget,

 

but if the school is not really trustworthy and will say one thing but do another thing then defo take someone with you, I had a horrible meeting with the headteacher at Js Old school and he manulipulated the situations I was in, miss led the meeting in the first place and then proceeded to talk to me Like I was A Little girl.

 

Actually raise his voice and proceeded to shout at me, then I rose my voice then he said

 

I am not going to listen to you if your going to shout at me!

 

I will not go to any meeting now without any one, If I cant find someone then I dont go, and if I do go alone I take A dictaphone with me and tape the meeting, obvously letting others know that this is been recorded.

 

I think that it can be very intimidating to go by yourself, and teachers and headteachers love a parent they can walk all over and if your assertive they accuse you of been aggressive, so you really cant win.

 

Not saying that all schools do this as the school J is in now are brilliant and up to now I havent had to record the meeting or go with anyone, as they are informal and normally about supporting and listening to everyone involved.

 

If your feeling vulnerable then take someone with you.

 

JsMum

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I had a review meeting at my son's school this morning on my own. Have to say that before and during I do get really nervous, particularly in case I forget to say something that's important. I also have to confess to feeling, on occasion, a little intimidated. There's one person in particular who manages to rub me up the wrong way and I really do have to bite my tongue and think very carefully what I do before opening my mouth! It's very difficult for individuals at these meetings to understand that a lot of ASD children behave very differently at home and that it's not down to poor parenting. I do generally find that if I write notes beforehand, that gives me something to focus on. I also make sure that I tick off each point, so that no one sidetracks me. It is good to have support and someone to rant at once the meeting is over!!!

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline.

[nvapid]

always take a friend, if PP are not useless in your area (as they so usally are) ask that one of them accompany you.

 

ask your friend to take copious note of the conversation and then write up those notes and send them back to the person you had the meeting with so that you create a paper trail - and it is not he said she said!