hev Report post Posted December 21, 2006 im a very sociable person,probably talk too much sometimes the thing is,i absolutely hate visitors coming to my house as im so scared of steve starting and im constantly on edge,ive been known to sit in toilet to avoid door. hits home at christmas as i dont go anywhere as its too stresful,would love to have people here but steve just cannot cope and it ends up a disaster,it sounds awful but if steves not here i love having people round,sometimes i feel lonely because nothing seems normal,not feeling sorry for myself,just a fact. what are you doing for christmas?do you ever feel like me,especially at christmas? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted December 21, 2006 Hi Hev, Yes i feel like this all the time, especially at Christmas . I sometimes hide and pretend we're not in if someone comes round unexpectedly when Kai's here. I just can't face it if he kicks off or starts saying inappropriate things. The only person i don't mind coming over is my old neighbour, who's known us since Kai was 1. Her sister has ASD and so she's totally understanding. I feel like a prisoner in my own home most days . I'd LOVE to go out for a few drinks etc (not when i'm pregnant though!), but it's too much bother getting my mum or dad to baby sit because Kai doesn't go to sleep till really late and then he kicks off. Loulou xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted December 21, 2006 (edited) We hardly get any anymore Hev..... The only person who regularly visits is my mum, and she has a lovely bond with our kiddies, so it's not stressful. If I go to another part of the country to visit friends I go alone, and it gives me a break too. Since most of our friends are now married, with families of their own, we find it much easier to visit each other minus all the kiddies, so again, I don't find it stressful when they come here. I could imagine though, if we had family visiting regularly, and staying over, I wouldn't find it easy, and would probably dread it. We've become quite isolated, but I did find that I actually grew to prefer it that way, and now love pottering about doing my own thing........oops, rambled on abit there....... This Xmas DH is on nights all over Xmas, and we arn't planning on seeing anyone, other than my mum, who has invited me and the kiddies for Xmas dinner Edited December 21, 2006 by Bagpuss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted December 21, 2006 Yip - can relate to this thread. I totally dread people coming up to the house as I don't know how my son will react towards them......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted December 22, 2006 Hi Know exactly what you mean. Frequently wish I could look all doors and close all curtains and stay within our four little walls forever! Nice thought, but not a realistic one. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted December 22, 2006 I do like having visitors but because we get them so rarely I find I get rather flustered and anxious. My sis is coming to visit for the day soon with her three grown-up girlies and I'm looking forward to it but I am getting a bit apprehensive as well. It's the pressure of making the visit go well and the onus is all on me to 'entertain' them, and I keep thinking, what do late-teens and early twenties girls DO!! Jay loves visitors, but if they are adults it tends to end up with the adults just talking together and he retreats upstairs and is left on his own, which I feel quite bad about. Hope his 'big girl' cousins make a fuss of him when they come and he doesn't end up feeling neglected! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phoebe Report post Posted December 22, 2006 mmmmmm - I like the idea of having visitors and I enjoy catering for people, I always hoped and dreamed that I would have one of those houses that everybody felt comfortable coming to and that you would always feel welcome. The reality is that we do virtually no socialising. It is a situation that has developed over the years that really I hadn't thought much about. I have come to realise recently that we barely ever invite anyoine in, nor do we get invited out and it is an ever decreasing circle which has been going on for some time. It is not a situation that I fell happy about and I would really like to try to re-establish some old contacts or make some new ones. Difficult though isn't it? I have invited a couple to our house on the 30th and I am just hoping it goes well!!! New years resolution number 1. Have a social life!! Well.......try to anyway! Love and hugs Phoebe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichelleW Report post Posted December 22, 2006 (edited) Visitors? What are they? Apart from my parents, my sister (occasionally) and the fathers of my two kids once a week, I don't have anyone come to my house. The only people I see are at work or at the weekly autistic support group that I have started going to with the kids. But then I have always preferred to be on my own most of the time - so I don't really think about it much. Edited December 22, 2006 by MichelleW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lynyona Report post Posted December 22, 2006 Wish me luck......we are having my Mum and uncle over on Boxing Day this year.....kieran doesnt do visitors but im sure if we put his new inteactive dvd games on that he s getting for christmas it may take his mind off it for a while. lynn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted December 23, 2006 Sure fire way to make sure we end up with no visitors............... set M on to them! He's OK-ish with adult visitors. As long as he's told before hand (although this usually leads to impossible 'What will they be wearing' type questions ). He is a chatty lil thing and will talk people into a coma within ten minutes! The problem has been with people who aren't used to or have no understanding of Autism. He can be very rude/tactless, he can be very, very cuddly, will talk AT you for hours on end and is usually waaaaaay over the top . Younger visitors are more difficult for him. TBH the best 'play visits' have been with children also on the spectrum - one's in one room, one's in the other.... .......both happy as larry! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted December 23, 2006 mum and dad coming over for half hour christmas day,would love it to be more but not possible,steve idolises my dad but it all gets too much for steven,im staying in for the 2 main days but im out on the razz new years eve,guess who my date is?steven!!we going to our social club just me and him,hes looking foward to it so he will be fine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PW66 Report post Posted December 24, 2006 C enjoys visitors now, tho at one time it used to be an absolute nightmare! Even now tho he gets bored and restless when anyones here for any length of time, and will either take himself off to his room or zone out in front of the TV. Christmas is a very quiet time for us, and we see very few visitors over the hols. Paula Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
