going on and on and on about things

[forbsay]

Hello

 

My ASD son keeps going on and on about the same things all the time. He wants us to buy him a new bus and go to the bus shop and he is like a broken record. My husband tells me to ignore him but it is really stressing me out.

 

How do other people deal with these situations?

 

Forbsay

x

[butterfingersbimbo]

i imagine gaffer tape on el's lips.......cruel i know but some days it really does make me feel better..... <'>

[oxgirl]

Oh dear, they can drive us nutty, these kids, can't they.

Has he had a definite answer about the bus shop and buying him a new bus? I know that my lad needs to know, 'yes' or 'no' in no uncertain terms and if it's 'yes', then he needs to know when or he won't be sure what is happening and will go on and on. If you are intending to take him to the bus shop, maybe you could show him on the calendar the specific day you'll go and that might put his mind at rest, and your ears!! <'>

 

Take care.

 

~ Mel ~

[forbsay]

I am not taking him back to bus shop as the buses are really expensive. I will try to use the tactic of "NO" and keep saying that..............

 

in the past i either ignore him or sing "ahhhhhhhh" - i get the reply of stop squeaking mummy. Or I shout at him to be quiet (not the best option)

Edited January 2, 2007 by forbsay

[carrieq]

This is one of the things I find hardest to deal with as it is soooo draining, your head actually hurts after a spell of going on and on. I try for as long as possible to ignore or remove myself from the situation for a wee while!!!

Carrie

[reuby2]

I know how you feel, my son asks questions over and over, even though he knows the answers and i just answer on autopilot now, i don't even bother to listen most of the time as they are questions like....can i turn this page over now? and can i turn it back? can i eat my pepperani the way i don't want to?Or can i eat this one first etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.............................................................................

...

 

 

I read a link to some social stories and there was one in there about asking questions they already know the answers to, so i am trying to distract him by asking him what he thinks I will say when he asks, when he answers that he thinks i will say yes, i say "well there's your answer" but he still keeps asking.......................................................................

 

I don't know why he wants me to answer all these questions and at first if i wouldn't answer he would get really uptight untill i did and in some things he is still like that if he is nervous about something. But sometimes he does it to wind me up and laughs when i tell him he is driving me up the wall. But sometimes it is very important that i answer the questions for him, does it reassure him? I don't know, It drives me potty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[loupin]

How frustrating!!!! Our children do have the most endearing little habits don't they!!!! Could you look at pictures of buses either online or print some pictures off? Would it distract him? Could you say that the bus shop is now closed until summer time? At the moment we are having to watch youv'e been framed christmas special 4x per day!!!!! And god help us if we don't laugh at the right bits and the curse of sky plus!! he rewinds and pauses it until we oblige!!!!!

[loulou]

Hi forbsay,

 

I have developed the art of SELECTIVE DEAFNESS . I learnt it from my Dad as he uses it when my mum moans at him .

 

Kai goes on and on and on too. This week it's been recitings of Horrid Henry story tapes and it's driving me totally bonkers.

 

On the bus issue, could you devise a "reward chart" type of thing so he can save up for the new bus? If Kai wants a new train he'll go on and on about it too. Ignoring him seems to make no difference. What i usually say is, "If you keep going on about it, then you won't get it at all!". Cruel i know, but it seems to work.

 

Loulou xx

[smiley]

Wow - i've had a day of this today - my heads spinning!

 

M is constant - that has always been the best word to describe him!

Today it's been 'question day', but they are the type of questions that leave me like this.... ........

 

It is utterly exhausting - and i have to admit to begging him to go and play in his room for a while today - just to give me a break (bad mum ). I've also been known to lock myself in the bathroom....... Grab the MP3 player and let him get on with it............. The Xbox is a blessing............

 

<'> <'>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Robert is the same in that when he gets something into his head, he goes on and on and on ... 'Fraid I've learnt to switch off, though easier said than done!

 

It's really difficult because you cannot, financially, afford to give in to them all the time when they want something (particularly is they have lots of obsessions ie Dr Who/buses/etc)! Is there any way that you could link going to the bus shop with a type of visual reward chart?

 

Robert's not great with charts - they tend to get hauled off the wall! However, when his behaviour is particularly bad we agree a 'deal' with him (reward chart). The chart isn't about taking away treats, as I think that just adds fuel to the fire when in a rage. It's about saying, okay today if you're good you can earn up to 4 tokens (morning/lunchtime/dinnertime/bedtime). If you manage to get X number of tokens by the end of X number of days, then we can go ... I thought this was pretty good as it's asking too much to expect Robert to behave like an angel all day every day. I've seen other charts which leave no room for bad behaviour. In my experience with those charts, your kid could potentially blow things on day one! However, a token reward chart means that the child WILL get a reward, however if they behave badly, it may take a little longer.

 

I know that M is obsessed with buses. Is it possible to take him to a bus depot and have a look at the buses or get a day saver and agree beforehand routes/timescales? There's the bus museum at Kinross. He may not actually like going on buses though! How about ebay for second-hand buses? Corgi website from time to time has some good offers (Purchased National Express bus and a few others once!).

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline

[forbsay]

He likes looking at buses but not going on them.................... He also does not go on about the bus shop to his daddy - just me. I am now saying "NO" everytime he mentions it and will continue to do so.

 

Reward charts don't work for my son. At his school, he gets his smiley faces taken away as a reward...............

 

Forbsay

[Stephanie]

Maybe he wants a reaction more than he wants the bus. By you constantly saying no, it gives him a challenge.

 

You are a lot better than me, I would have just bought him the bus and enjoyed the silence!

[lynyona]

I admit i too have selective hearing as if i didnt shut off id go around the twist,but i find even if its quite he will just carry on talking for talking sake aghhhhhhh it is so mentally tiring then he ll pipe up dont listen then NO IM NOT lol

 

 

lynn

[forbsay]

I am still saying "No" and it is working......... long may it continue

[oxgirl]

I am still saying "No" and it is working......... long may it continue

 

 

Good for you forbsay, hopefully he will soon accept it and you can all move on. <'>

 

~ Mel ~