overnight respite

[hev]

ss are coming tomorrow as ive now been offered overnight repite for steve,it will start next week,when things are ok i think i dont need it but when things are rock bottom i know i definately do,just got to sort it all out now,also been given an extra 3 hours a week respite things are looking up but i feel a bit ashamed that i cant cope and its got to the stage of overnight respite

Edited April 4, 2007 by hev

[Bambi]

Awww hun <'> >< but never ever be ashamed of how things have got to this stage, your son has special needs and his needs, need attending to. We are not always going to be around and respite is needed to help them cope in other situations with others caring for them, its great that things are looking up for you too now and what a state we have to get in for this to happen is heartbreaking, not only for our kids but for us parents/carers too.

 

Im really pleased for ya

 

Bambi x

[darky]

Im please for you <'> don't feel guilty, i think its very brave to admit you struggle, and accepting help will only strengthen the bond between you and your son.

 

Ive given in to it now, and its been such a help, not just for me but my girl as well. she gets to go out and do things away from me, which under normal circumstances she is not able to do.

[baddad]

things are looking up but i feel a bit ashamed that i cant cope and its got to the stage of overnight respite

 

ashamed you can't cope?? There's all sorts of reasons for respite, hen, and 'not coping' is a bit of a catch-all. Some parents would have no life whatsoever outside of caring if it wasn't for respite...some cared for people would have no social opportunity if it wasn't for respite... some parents would be on their last legs from sleep deprivation if it wasn't for respite... some families would find it impossible to continue as families without respite...

Respite isn't about 'not coping', it's a way of continuing to cope, and it benefits carers and those being cared for.

Enjoy the break

 

L&P

BD

[hev]

i dont feel we are a family any more,nothing is normal,cant even watch tele together let alone go out as a family.

 

i plan to enjoy the break,to just have coffee in peace would be nice without being called a s**g,he even comes in my bedroom late at night calling me it,want my mum and dad to have some peace,i think the strain is showing with them now

[smiley]

<'> <'> <'>

 

Bad's right (go on.....you'll have to admit it.... ).

 

You are a fantastic mum , and you're doing everything you can for S.

 

It may just be that the respite helps him as much as you and the rest of the family. <'>

Edited April 4, 2007 by smiley

[elun1]

<'> Hi Hev

Baddad's post is exactly what I would say about overnight respite - it's spot on. Everyone has their reasons for needing respite and in the long run you'll probably all benefit - including Steve. We just got go ahead from ss for 1 night respite per fortnight - it hasn't started yet and I know I'll find it hard (ds2 is only 5) but we all need the break to be honest. He sleeps so little that I quite often work without having slept - it's no way to be carrying on!

Hope it works out for you all

Love Elun x

[David Matthew Baker]

I agree with Bad too. You are doing an awful lot for your son. Anyone who is on here can tell that. Occasionally you need a break yourself or you end up worn out. I think you have got close to that a few times from past threads. You will probably find that the quality of care you can give to him will improve because it will give you a bit of time to recover. You are doing your best and that's all anyone can ask for. Keep your chin up and be proud of what you have achieved. Your in a rough patch but I get the feeling that you are strong enough to get through it. All the best, David. <'> <'> <'>

[Bagpuss]

Hev, it is absolutely not about you being not able to cope. Far from it hun. You need to recharge your batteries <'>

[NikkiSmith]

Hev,

The feelings of being ashamed & guilt-ridden will go - I felt hugely ashamed that I couldn't managed my 4yr old ds and that I had got to breaking point before SS would offer us any overnight respite.

 

He now goes for regular (ish!) respite every Wednesday night. It gives me a chance to do "normal" family things and then get a better nights sleep (in theory, but not with ds3's awful night habits now!) whilst somebody else is up most of the night watching Teletubbies and building wooden train tracks!

 

I now look at the positives; when ds2 comes home I am much more refreshed and able to deal with him and his behaviour. ds1 is more tolerant of him having had an evening of quality Mummy time and ds2 has had a fab time playing all night in a different room with a different adult persuading him that it's bed time!

 

Good luck with it and I hope SS have somewhere suitable in mind.

 

 

Nikki.

[butterfingersbimbo]

i agree with the others chic! dont feel bad, it sounds like a good plan to me you have a lot on your plate and its nothing shameful to say you need help! <'>

[hev]

 

Bad's right (go on.....you'll have to admit it.... ).

 

 

i would rather walk on hot coals than say he is right

you others are right though,no more guilt after the afternoon ive had!!

[smiley]

 

<'> <'> <'>

[baddad]

One Bucket of hot coals coming up!

[hev]

yes love and i know exactly where i would shove those hot coals

[David Matthew Baker]

Oh I do love to see Baddad and Hev getting on so well together.

 

Everytime I read this forum, you two seem to manage to provide some light entertainment. Mind you the relationship you have is obviously that of very good friends. It is only once you know someone well enough you can wind them up.

 

Keep it up.