HAIRCUT HELL

[Bevvy]

I know this subject has come up before but after another haircut from hell I just had to get some support and advice from you..

 

My son who will be 4 next month (and who I suspect has Aspergers) went to the hairdressers today. He had been going to the barbers which although is traumatic for everyone involved was at least quick as they use the clippers. But last time was so traumatic (he said he didn't like the machine), we took him to a quiet back-street hairdressers and warned the lady what he would be like and she said she would give it a go.

 

Anyway he just kicked off big time as soon as the scissors came out and we had to abandon it as he was so distraught and kicked and screamed and went absolutely off the scale!! I have tried bribery, giving him sweets explaining that it won't hurt. But it seems he has just got himself in a right lather about haircuts.

 

Any suggestions as he is getting worse and worse each time we go. And he has the type of hair that he needs it cut every 6 weeks otherwise he will look like a scarecrow!

 

Have any of your children gone through this and do they grow out of it and at what age. Each visit gets worse than the last and is destroying me slowly but surely!!

 

Thanks

[jomica]

Hi Bevvy and welcome to the forum.

 

My son went through this exactly - he said that having his hair cut hurt - and finally grew out of it when he was about six, after much stress and anxiety on everyone's part. I used to sit with him on my knee reading to him but it seemed to work better when the barber gave him a lolly to suck prior to the haircut. It seemed that once he and the barber became friends (via the lollypop) he would allow his hair to be cut.

 

HOWEVER ...... just recently he's got it into his head that he wants to grow his hair and won't let anyone near it. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that he's totally obsessed. Cutting and brushing are totally out of the question. Washing it is a nightmare. If he thinks some has fallen or been pulled out, he becomes very stressed and upset. It is ruling his and our lives at the moment.

 

I guess that doesn't make you feel any better, or give you much advice, but I think you'll find that quite a lot of people here have gone through the haircut nightmare, so may have some more uplifting stories than mine!

 

Good luck - hope you find the right solution soon.

 

[shadow cat]

Bevvy don't know if this is any use to you ,but it also gives tips on there too

 

http://www.thechildrenschoppingbus.co.uk/

[ellisisamazing]

I used to be a stylist so I can give my son a trim as and then with much bribery or sometimes a darn good headlock! I used to take him to the barbers but he too was hysterical at the sight of the clippers being used on somebody else!! I try and give him a trim every four weeks just to keep it fresh in his mind that it isn't so bad having a haircut done!

 

Good Luck!

[ellisisamazing]

I used to be a stylist so I can give my son a trim as and then with much bribery or sometimes a darn good headlock! I used to take him to the barbers but he too was hysterical at the sight of the clippers being used on somebody else!! I try and give him a trim every four weeks just to keep it fresh in his mind that it isn't so bad having a haircut done!

 

Good Luck!

[oxgirl]

Bevvy, I used to have exactly the same with my lad, it's horrendous, isn't it. <'> It got to the point where I couldn't even get my lad into the chair 'cos he'd be screaming and fighting so much, you'd think his life was at risk from hearing him! He'd run to the other side of the shop in a total panic, screaming, 'HELP, HELP ME, HELP ME!!' at the top of his voice, it was so distressing.

 

In the end, to be honest, we just had to give up with trying the hairdresser for a while. I did have a hairdresser come to the house once and we sat him down in front of his Thomas vid and it was a bit better. Most of the time we'd let it grow, though, and then, when it got too bad, I'd trim a few bits off when he was in the bath, that worked a bit better. I've got some horrendous photos of him around age 6/7 though, with the most shocking 'haircuts' where I'd tried to trim it down and he hadn't kept still enough and the sides look terribly uneven. It actually did suit him longer, so it was best left really.

 

Maybe you could let your lad's grow during the summer and see how it looks, he could always wear a cap to keep it out of his eyes! My lad is 13 now and is wonderful at the hairdressers and I thought it would never happen. He sits relatively still, he does moan about being bored and does wriggle a bit, but absolutely nothing compared to how he used to be. He likes the clippers because it's quicker.

 

I'm not sure, but I think a throwaway remark by a hairdresser when he was little about how he'd need to sit still incase he got his ear cut off might have been the start of all the terror and it did take many, many years to get over it. Don't worry, your lad will get better, but it might be that you need to have a break from the ordeal for a while and come back to it later.

 

Good luck. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[cmuir]

Hi

 

We went through this and it got so bad that I used to cut my son's hair when he was sleeping! I've written/dawn him a social story. I also let him cut off a piece of my hair in exchange for me doing the same - to prove that it doesn't hurt. We also went through a stage of letting it grow so long that his hair got in his eyes and was very uncomfortable for him - proved a point! We also found that by getting a hairdresser to come to the house and cut his hair eg whilst he was watching tv was a massive help - he felt more at ease at home and he was distracted by the tv. We now don't have a problem and Robert has even went to the barber's with his dad. He watched the first few times and eventually agreed to get his hair cut. He was delighted to get gel in his hair to make it spiky. Certainly in our case, things has become much easier.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline

[pearl]

JP used to hate the clippers so we didnt use them.

 

Also hated the itchy feel of cut hair on his skin.

 

So we got a mobile hairdresser who just used scissors, & he scooted off to the shower as soon as she had finished.

 

Then she went on maternity leave.....

 

we always need pushing to change! First I accompanied him to Len the Barber (this was only about a year ago). Now he goes on his own. Doesnt mind the clippers any more. Still showers the second he gets home.

 

Baby steps....

[llisa32]

Hiya - I know exactly how you feel!!....many many times we have got as far as opening the door to the barbers only for J to leg it back down the road! The last haircut it took me nearly an hour to get him in there and then he sat and scowled like mad at the hairdresser

 

What I do now (he's 7.5) is I try to not let it bother me too much that his hairs got a little out of shape...but when I do think he needs a haircut I bide my time over a few weeks and if we seem to have a spare hour where he's happy, not over tired etc, then I'll soooooo casually mention we need to get it cut and remind him the barbers is near the shop where we keep buying little cuddly dogs - I know it's bribery, but i'll just count it as pokcte money for that week.

 

I also never have the clippers as he freaks so we make do with just a scissor trim each time and absolutely no gel!

 

But I have definately noticed if I just pick a moment when he's happy and content...and just say comon then in 15 mins we better pop down and get that cut, he' s much better than when I pre-warn him the day before or the morning etc

 

Hope that helps - you have my sympathy!

[zaman]

Yup - I think that it is the sensory issues of the sound/feel of the clippers, and the hair falling onto the shoulders. I took my son to a cranial osteopath and it help enourmously with this issue amoung others.

[jlp]

My son was terrible until he was about 5. In the end barbers refused to cut his hair and we resorted to doing it at home with clippers with a video on and me feeding him sweets while Daddy did the hair (terrible parenting!).

 

He did get better gradually as he got older and more able to understand. He still fidgits and occasionally shouts or says inappropriate things to the Barber but on the whole there's a vast improvement (he's 7 now).

 

I'm going through this all over again now with ds#2 (3 3/4)!

[sandyn]

Hi and welcome, from a personal point of view, it all depends on how my son (7 - HFA ADHD Dyspraxia )is feeling that day. He doesn't love having his haircut, but doesn't usually freak out. Generally, he cringes, flinches when water is sprayed at his hair, he keeps saying "ow it hurts", "when can I get down", "I'm bored", and when it gets all a bit too much starts flapping his arms in the black cape shouting "ne, ne, ne, ne, ne ne Batman!" and laughes and laughes . ( I cringe and cringe in the seat LOL!!!!). As soon as we are home he takes all his clothes off because "they are itchy". Its all sensory for my son.

 

My daughter (5 - NT ) loves the whole experience.

 

Having said that I totally sympathise with any mum/dad who has children that hate having their hair cut, as I've seem little ones kick off before. I think what you need to do is find out exactly what is causing your little one problems. Is it the noise of the salon, noise of the scissors, hair falling on his face. I think, once you have found the reason behind this your little one will be fine. This maybe going to a salon and letting your child spend time in the salon - without having hair cut - just to get used to the environment , you know, like get to know the hairdresser, all her equipment (including scissors - especially the snip snip snip), the hairdryer noise, the people in there, feel of hair etc.

 

Good luck and do let us know how you progress - because you will.

 

Sandra

x

[mossgrove]

We gave up on the barbers years ago. Now out two autistic boys and our 3yo NT son have short hair courtesy of an inexpensive pair of clippers which were an excellent investment.

 

Simon