Advice please

[llisa32]

Hiya,

 

I just need some reassurance please that I am not going bonkers!

 

School have always maintained that J is 'lovely'. 'hardworking' etc etc , and therefore there cannot possibly be anything wrong and for me to imply I think he has Aspergers either means that he is not lovely or I am mad or both!

 

As you know I went to the GP a couple of months ago...he agreed cause for concern and I have a meeting with

a child psychiatrist tomorrow. So, I'd given up for last couple of months mentioning anything at school because their attitude just winds me up. But....they keep bringing it up everytime they have me cornrered!

 

This morning again....'Ah, J's doing much better now at socialising, and reading...I say yes he is def doing much better at reading...infact he is storming along so much he read a whole 32 page book this morning! therefore I don't think he has dsylexia...surely it's not something you suddeny get cured of. I said well you guys may think he's socialisinhg much better but have you actually listened to many of the convs? - usually he will talk at you, and it's never a two way unless it involves digimon or pokemon. Teacher said this morning 'but aren't you pleased with his progress?, he's prob just got dyslexic tendancies!'....Of course I'm flippin well please with his progress at school..but why do they keep doing this? To be honest I'd rather not talk to them about it now...hence I don't bring it up because at school they see a model pupil who's trying really hard in all his lessons and I get the fall out.

 

I also get the embaressment from the many many play dates, party leaving times etc!!

 

I just wanted to know that I'm not the only one who's been in this situation - I'm finding it really frustrating...I come away from school thinking that the teachers think I'm not pleased with J..when obs I am! and why why why do they seem to think that if he has aspergers that must make him not nice and lovely!!

 

[bikergal]

Been there, done that...etc etc. Dd1's first school were in total denial about her probs...and made me feel like I was imagining things. It was a horrendous time for all of us. As a parent you know your child best, don't be put off by their comments. You have at least put the wheels in motion, and if your concerns aren't acknowledged you can always try again. The first gp I asked to refer my daughter refused and said I should accept her 'quirky' behaviour and that it was just her personality Try not to doubt yourself, easier said than done I know. I have just got dd1's draft of the final statement and I succeeded in getting an extra 5 hours added to it....statutory assessment was refused the first time. Unfortunately everything seems to be a battle...currently doing battle with dla. Take care hope the appointment goes as well as can be expected tomorrow. <'> <'> <'>

[mrs fussy]

Hiya,

 

I just need some reassurance please that I am not going bonkers!

 

School have always maintained that J is 'lovely'. 'hardworking' etc etc , and therefore there cannot possibly be anything wrong and for me to imply I think he has Aspergers either means that he is not lovely or I am mad or both!

 

As you know I went to the GP a couple of months ago...he agreed cause for concern and I have a meeting with

a child psychiatrist tomorrow. So, I'd given up for last couple of months mentioning anything at school because their attitude just winds me up. But....they keep bringing it up everytime they have me cornrered!

 

This morning again....'Ah, J's doing much better now at socialising, and reading...I say yes he is def doing much better at reading...infact he is storming along so much he read a whole 32 page book this morning! therefore I don't think he has dsylexia...surely it's not something you suddeny get cured of. I said well you guys may think he's socialisinhg much better but have you actually listened to many of the convs? - usually he will talk at you, and it's never a two way unless it involves digimon or pokemon. Teacher said this morning 'but aren't you pleased with his progress?, he's prob just got dyslexic tendancies!'....Of course I'm flippin well please with his progress at school..but why do they keep doing this? To be honest I'd rather not talk to them about it now...hence I don't bring it up because at school they see a model pupil who's trying really hard in all his lessons and I get the fall out.

 

I also get the embaressment from the many many play dates, party leaving times etc!!

 

I just wanted to know that I'm not the only one who's been in this situation - I'm finding it really frustrating...I come away from school thinking that the teachers think I'm not pleased with J..when obs I am! and why why why do they seem to think that if he has aspergers that must make him not nice and lovely!!

 

I am sorry that the school are not taking any notice of your concerns and what i would say is follow your instinct, your his mom and you know him best. Believe me if things change regards him at school they will be the first demanding that YOU do something. You certainly are not mad just a concerned mom and like i say go with what you feels right because if at the end it turns out he doesnt have aspergers at least you will be sure and not always questioning, and if he does then you will have ensured him the help he needs. I have the oposite my son is perfectly fine at home, but supposedly an evil child at school, well so his current teacher says (none of his previous 3 did) and try to imply that hes like it at home even on occassions telling me he is, i have often thouhgt of inviting her to live with us for a week. So in one way your a little better off because at least you know he is happy and safe at school, and you can try and get the help you think he needs yourself believe me this is a much less complicated way, and less stressful even if you dont think it at the moment. Keep your chin up and do what You thinks right Take care Mrs F x.

[mum23]

I sooooo know where you are coming from; this happened at my son's primary school even to the point that when paediatrician did get involved and sent out High Functioning Autisum questinair the school filled it all in as if our son was just like all the other kids in his class. Therefore even the paed. thought I was over reacting (do not get frightened about this OK) and thought it best to just wait and see with regards to diagnosis. It took a futher 2 years for the paed. to get a real picture of what was happening at school but when he ordered another HFA questinair he got an all together diffirent report one which he noted was much like the one I had filled in some years back, he was not very happy with the school and its lack of understanding. Anyway the paed. diagnosed my son with Aspergers without any doubt this time.

So I to would recommend you go with your gut feelings.

[hobbityhole]

Hiya,

 

I just need some reassurance please that I am not going bonkers!

 

School have always maintained that J is 'lovely'. 'hardworking' etc etc , and therefore there cannot possibly be anything wrong and for me to imply I think he has Aspergers either means that he is not lovely or I am mad or both!

 

As you know I went to the GP a couple of months ago...he agreed cause for concern and I have a meeting with

a child psychiatrist tomorrow. So, I'd given up for last couple of months mentioning anything at school because their attitude just winds me up. But....they keep bringing it up everytime they have me cornrered!

 

This morning again....'Ah, J's doing much better now at socialising, and reading...I say yes he is def doing much better at reading...infact he is storming along so much he read a whole 32 page book this morning! therefore I don't think he has dsylexia...surely it's not something you suddeny get cured of. I said well you guys may think he's socialisinhg much better but have you actually listened to many of the convs? - usually he will talk at you, and it's never a two way unless it involves digimon or pokemon. Teacher said this morning 'but aren't you pleased with his progress?, he's prob just got dyslexic tendancies!'....Of course I'm flippin well please with his progress at school..but why do they keep doing this? To be honest I'd rather not talk to them about it now...hence I don't bring it up because at school they see a model pupil who's trying really hard in all his lessons and I get the fall out.

 

I also get the embaressment from the many many play dates, party leaving times etc!!

 

I just wanted to know that I'm not the only one who's been in this situation - I'm finding it really frustrating...I come away from school thinking that the teachers think I'm not pleased with J..when obs I am! and why why why do they seem to think that if he has aspergers that must make him not nice and lovely!!

 

[hobbityhole]

I know where you are coming from, feeling it big time today - the frustration, the helplessness, anxiety etc. My son went to mainstream school with his new peers this afternoon, the teachers said oh isn't he good, he didn't say a word, didn't look up, just played quietly. Why do they not realise that he is ignoring them until he feels secure with them? He won't even address them by name even though he has met them before.

 

Oh, and apparently there's nothing abnormal about a child who re-arranges all of Halfords buckets until the handles face the same way and all the labels on the bottles are instruction out oh and the prodding of strangers to ask them why we have to queue and why aren't they moving? Nothing abnormal about being obsessed with opening & shutting doors, running across streets without looking, controlling everything/everyone around him - mummy you walk on little path, mummy gets hefty shove if does not comply and he is so strong. There endeth my rant!

 

Health visitors are the worst - don't get me on that subject!

 

Sometimes I think we've ended won battle only to find another just begun. Still saying that my son is great and sometimes I'd far rather have him around than some of those so called 'normal' anklebiters running about!

 

Chin up,

 

Hobbityhole

 

p.s. If I hear the 'oh but he's fine with me/it's because he's a boy/only child' phrase again I will kill!

[rach04]

i had to go behind the schools back to get him diagnosed with asd. I went to a iep meeting last week and its the first time ive heard them be negative about j and finally they are doing something.

[llisa32]

Thanks all for your replies and PM'm....you did all make me feel better:)

 

And I know it's childish, but....after J read another 32 page book this morning I have now covered his

reading diary page with gold stickers from mummy!!

 

J is chuffed and teacher might just guess I'm having a dig!

 

Wish me luck for meeting with child pschiatrist later!

 

Thanks all - appreciate the support as ever

[brooke]

i really hope it all goes well for you today <'>

Brooke

[becci]

oh yes i know only too well.i got the comments"well i dont know which aaron you have at home...he is an angel here"

whoopdee-######-doo.

ha until recently anyway.and now he is a nightmare.lol serves them right for gloating eh.

it took my aaron trying to commit suicide at 9 years old before school would listen.but listen they did.and now they work with me instead of telling im a head case.

sometimes it feels like this i know.i feel like it everyday.we all do.

but you know what?YOURE A CRACKING MUM WHO KNOWS YOUR CHILD BETTER THAN ANYONE. <'>