onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 2, 2007 hi all, wanted to update you, i sincerely believe through lack of training , corruption and pure ignorance i may lose my son at the beginning of august. yes he has a diagnosis, aspergers/tourettes, adhd odd, etcetc sensory integration disorder. The LEA werent convinced and the social services have been fighting me forever..... the courts ordered me to see a psychiatrist and the psyches report is 146 pages long, basically saying that i suffer from no emotional or psychological disorders or substance abuse and am not FII... However despite the above i am described as overanxious, overinvolved with my son and have an enmeshed relationship with him..... They ordered that my son was assessed by an expert pushed forward by Cafcass....i didnt like the sounds of him as his speciality had nothing to do with asd s , what he did have a speciality in made my skin crawl...... His report tore me to pieces , he claimed i am holding my sons development back , ruining his education and am emotionally damaging him through my overprotection...... they want to place him with foster carers as they see me as a danger to his welfare, everything my son tells them about his difficulties is being twisted round, their saying in there opinion i have coached him. the psyche also describes me as a deeply psychologically disturbed woman.... i hope reality bites them where it hurts as they want to put my child in care because they have no strategies or policies in place to cater for my sons complex needs.....they should by law have these things in place......it would appear by the way that i am wrong, about no-one being able to take a diagnosis away as they are about too.... thanks for reading, hugs, OCG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrs fussy Report post Posted July 2, 2007 (edited) oops soory mistske Edited July 2, 2007 by mrs fussy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrs fussy Report post Posted July 2, 2007 hi all, yes he has a diagnosis, aspergers/tourettes, adhd odd, etcetc sensory integration disorder. The LEA werent convinced and the social services have been fighting me forever..... the courts ordered me to see a psychiatrist and the psyches report is 146 pages long, basically saying that i suffer from no emotional or psychological disorders or substance abuse and am not FII... However despite the above i am described as overanxious, overinvolved with my son and have an enmeshed relationship with him..... His report tore me to pieces , he claimed i am holding my sons development back , ruining his education and am emotionally damaging him through my overprotection...... they want to place him with foster carers as they see me as a danger to his welfare, everything my son tells them about his difficulties is being twisted round, their saying in there opinion i have coached him. the psyche also describes me as a deeply psychologically disturbed woman.... ....it would appear by the way that i am wrong, about no-one being able to take a diagnosis away as they are about too.... thanks for reading, hugs, OCG Hi OCG this is awful, my heart goes out to you and know how you are feeling are you a single parent? how did all this start where did it all come from school? Im sorry for all the questions what do you mean about taking diagnosis away is that what you want? or are they saying you have made up his symptoms? please stay strong dont let them do this! Mrs F PS sorry what does FII mean. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted July 2, 2007 Do you have anyone who can talk for you and your son, eg any psychiatrists who do believe he's on the spectrum? Have the LEA explained to you why they don't believe he's on the spectrum? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 2, 2007 Do you have anyone who can talk for you and your son, eg any psychiatrists who do believe he's on the spectrum? Have the LEA explained to you why they don't believe he's on the spectrum? yes mrs fussy im a single parent, all this started 2-3 yrs ago as my son has been school refusing off and on since he was about 6yr old, it became chronic, i asked for help as i knew there was something wrong. The LEA just threatened me with court proceedings and the SS came down hard threatening me with the child protection register if i didnt get him in school...... im disabled myself so it is even more difficult to force him into school, however the additional pressure resulted in my son sobbing, panicking and vomiting each morning. i couldnt keep doing it to him so told ss , they stated they didnt care and i had to get him in school.... think it was at that point that i decided to do what was best for my son and not what was best for everyone else, i de-registered him. they immediately informed me there was to be a case conference, they felt i was purposely isolating my son...he was put on the register and unnecessary intervention then started. we were appointed a social worker. my son was assessed at CAMHS the doc said he was fine , nothing wrong. I was then accused of FII which is another name for munchausen syndrome by proxy.....they told me i was fabricating his difficulties.... i then sought a independant diagnostician with a very good reputation specialising in learning difficulties, he diagnosed him with the above conditions..... Whilst all this was going on i had been fighting for a statutory assessment but it was always refused. Since then ive bent over backwards to please the SS however they saw the vunerability in my family, they knew we needed significant support of which they dont have the resources for...... Lies started to pop up in reports, comments about myself about my home, about my son.....then it was said i wasnt co-operating....hence the start of court proceedings..... if i wanted to keep my son with me i had to comply with a condition, which was that , my son must see any professional inside or outside the home on his own, so i agreed. Now the SS have stated they have called to my home and i havent answered the door, they state they have phoned me and i havent answered. ITS A CROCK OF LIES..... anyway i have a good solicitor not mentioning names but he managed to ensure the release of two well known women at appeal that were accused of MSBP.....one of which died recently.... im also working with an adhd charity that hopefully will be doing some advocacy work with the family. I needed to come back to this forum to be amongst people that understand the complexities of aspergers, as i have had to deal with so many ignorant people, eg, SS , x partner, camhs, barristers, solicitors, court officials who really havent a clue..... i wonder if anyone within the judiciary knows how dangerous it is dealing with people who havent a clue what your talking about , and how tradgedy can occur through lack of knoledge.... hugs, OCG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrs fussy Report post Posted July 2, 2007 OCG i just dont know what to say to you other than this could happen to any of us!!! was your son having problems whilst at school? or was it just before he was going to school is there anyone at school who could stand up for you or are they denying there is any problems, would a change of school help, or have you already tried this? i know it is really difficult my son has also found school really difficult recently complaining with pain when he is due to go to school and i have at times kept him off, and then reluctantly sent him back, but the thing is it is the school that think my son has problems and he is fine at home although we do think he shows some autistic tendancies and we worry that they will diagnose him with aspergers basically on the schools say so, i dont know what to suggest to you you must be in complete turmoil, all this is enough to make someone emotionally vulnerable is nt it even if you werent in the first place, what are they saying is going to happen now, is your son attending school now? are you providing him with an adequate education at home surely if you are they cant do anything, i just cant believe this its unreal and could happen to any of us. Mrs F PS stay strong Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted July 2, 2007 <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> OCG, what a terrible mess, like Mrs F says it could happen to any of us. I afraid I don't have any advice for you right this moment hopefully one of the others will have some for you shortly. Stay strong Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
florrie Report post Posted July 2, 2007 (edited) OMG Paula this is so awful, I really do not know what to say, like clare said it could happen to anyone of us. I had a terrible time too with authorities and just backed away from the lot, took my son out of school and complained about lack of provison and bullying leading tohim having a breakdown, luckily they all ran a mile, noone ever chased me up abut sending him too school he went to an alternative school and I got fees paid by a charity, but he still did not get the education he needed, and still struggles a lot, as he has undx, but obviousl to me cerebral damage too, from birth. but it could have so easily gone the other way but Inever thought of that at the time, I was just angry that he wasn't given the support he needed. Ihad lies put on my medical record too after suicide attempt but it was too defend there own positions so I couldn't come back on them. I wonder if this is what is going on here too. I really hope someone can help you here, I'm genuinely frightened of these people and stay away from them as all they have ever done has made things worse rather than help. I really hope you get the answers you need to help with this situation and i cannot believe this kind of thing is allowed to happen. I hope someone will help you with this situation Edited July 2, 2007 by florrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted July 2, 2007 Paula I was thinking of you only on Sunday when I was reading this http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml...1/nadopt101.xml and wondering how you were. Sorry things are still so bad - what a crazy world. Good luck Barefoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 2, 2007 hi all, thanks for your messages of support , ive got this far i must keep fighting......the LEA and SS are too huge to take on, think they are trying to teach me a lesson ay!! wendy, have you seen the latest one, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=465563&in_page_id=1770 ://http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...n_page_id=1770 ://http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...n_page_id=1770 ://http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...n_page_id=1770 ://http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/li...n_page_id=1770 incidentally theres a panorama programme on tonight at 8.30 itll be bbc i think..... i will keep you all posted, just pass info onto others....i really would hate others to go through this, as florrie rightly says, it can happen to anyone.... hugs, OCG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lynyona Report post Posted July 2, 2007 <'> <'> <'> paula <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mum23 Report post Posted July 2, 2007 HI OCG, I wish you lots of possitive enegy and hope you teach these inept pep's a painful lesson. I wonder if you might get some advice from Angela Browning MP, not sure how to contact her as I think she has stepped down from her old post, but you might find a link on one of her web pages. She was very helpful when I had some issues with my son and our ED. department. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
florrie Report post Posted July 2, 2007 That is a good idea to contact Angela Browning MP as her son has Asperger Syndrome and she has been proactive with trying to get better recognition and support for it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted July 3, 2007 Paula - been wondering how you were doing ... will be hard Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madme Report post Posted July 4, 2007 Paula, I had been wondering what was happening. Im so sorry that you are going through this. Glad that you have proper representation. I hope that you win and show them. They do need teaching a lesson. Take Care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 5, 2007 thanks for that ultra mum and madme, taken on board your advice re: angela browning, just a couple of probs there im afraid. firstly im not in her constituency and they have set protocols on that type of thing, secondly i cannot talk to anyone regarding what is happening re care proceedings as its an ongoing court case. I can give you the basic jist but my disclosure to anyone would land me in prison. thats the lovely family courts for you..... What really gets me annoyed is that people like me find themselves in this position because certain local authorities lack the provisions and do not want their illegal practice exposed. yet i must go in those courts labeled guilty until i can prove my innocence, even criminals get better treatment than that.....at least they get a jury ; Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ian Jordan Report post Posted July 6, 2007 Assuming the SS and LEA have got it totaly wrong - you have got to get experts that will dispute what their experts say. 1 Why does your child have a problem at school? - if it is a sensory processing problem then their experts may be inappropriately trained and their evidence may be suspect. Assessment and treatment for sensory processing disorders should have been put in place 2 Is your reaction the normal one when a child has been abused by the system - YOU need a professional to state this - but possible 3 Has the LEA SS taken reasonable care to assess. It appears to me that there might be grounds to think that they have taken an inappropriate course of action ie they have done the wrong thing - again you will need professionals on your side 4 You need to destabilise their lies - with evidence 5 You need to understand the criteria they are using and use it against them 6 Get everything in writing - don't discuss anything without witnesses - and video if possible 7 Don't say anything without reflection and legal advice Sorry - but you have a major fight - you have to be professional and unemotional (very difficult) - they believe that they are helping your child - you have to show them that they are hurting your child. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 6, 2007 Ian ive sent you a pm i hope this is ok ..... thanks, OCG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 6, 2007 hey guys, ian jordan ....hes a lovely guy, just had a good chat with him, was very enlightening, there is hope i do believe!!! THANKS IAN... <'> HUGS, OCG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shortcake Report post Posted July 6, 2007 I realy hope things work out for you and im so sorry i cant offer advice I just hope that you prove your case, my boss is a health visitor so i may be able to get some info on what you can do next possibly? (sorry not to sure on this kind of thing) my thoughts are with you and if I can help at all please let me know x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wishingwell Report post Posted July 7, 2007 Paula <'> <'> <'> I'll be thinking and praying for you both, you can do this! Wishing you all the luck in the world too get you through this terrible time. wishingwell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Matthew Baker Report post Posted July 7, 2007 I hope you manage to get the evidence you need to prove them wrong. Good luck. David. <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
florrie Report post Posted July 7, 2007 (edited) Hi Paula, yeah the advice given was very good and clear. Your reaction ie that they say you are overprotective is perfecty normal parental reaction to a child who is being harmed, and that you need to make that clear. I hope you can the evidence together to get this sorted. Edited July 7, 2007 by florrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madme Report post Posted July 24, 2007 Paula just wanted to say that thinking of you. Let us know how you are. Lots of PVs. Take Care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted July 24, 2007 Paula, thinking of you as well, please let us know how you are doing? Clare x <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 26, 2007 hi , cant say too much but ss have told me i have to meet my sons identified fostercarer tomorrow...i havent even been to court yet....apparently i have no choice i must go , they want me to work with them to help them re-integrate him into mainstream and very slowly integrate him into his new family after the case is over.... how can they be so cruel.....anyway promised i would keep you updated....he doesnt need a ruddy fostercarer he needs understanding!!!!!!!!! take care, OCG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted July 27, 2007 Taking an ASD child away from his Mother surely is the worse thing ever. I really do feel for you and this situation scares me stupid, I can not begin to imagin how you must be feeling and the effects on you and your family. There has got to be justice in this world, it seems they have already decided on the outcome of this case. Thinking of you at this time of great distress and uncertainty. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrs fussy Report post Posted July 27, 2007 hi , cant say too much but ss have told me i have to meet my sons identified fostercarer tomorrow...i havent even been to court yet....apparently i have no choice i must go , they want me to work with them to help them re-integrate him into mainstream and very slowly integrate him into his new family after the case is over.... how can they be so cruel.....anyway promised i would keep you updated....he doesnt need a ruddy fostercarer he needs understanding!!!!!!!!! take care, OCG Hi sorry you are having to go through all this it is terrible. You have to help integrate him with his new family when the case is over!!!! why are you going to court if this is already decided this is terrible i thought a court case was to decide what happens!! I am just speechless...... You have my heartfelt support keep fighting dont give up you can do this, you have to, how is your son does he realise all this is going on? What on earth is this country coming to. Hugs to you Mrs F x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tsmom Report post Posted July 27, 2007 My heart breaks for you it really does.I hope someone sees sense before another terible mistake is made.I only watched a program last week where a mom/dad lost their 3 kids the kids were adopted,the parents latter had another child ,they fled to ireland to give birth but then had to go into a home with the new baby for a yr whilst the staff watched their every move.The court decided that they could keep the baby and they questioned the court decision at the first hearing but its now to late to get their first 3 kids back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted July 27, 2007 My heart goes to you............... Forbsay xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alyth_mum Report post Posted August 4, 2007 Oh what a mess. Hope you've found some people to be on your side. How does your GP view you? I'm sure you've already thought of them if they are positive for yo. As the others say ....what are is going on that they are asking/making you meet the foster family before the Court Case. Use this fact against them ...that you feel that it is a pre-judged case and you are not getting a fair hearing. Good Luck. Louise Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted August 4, 2007 sending u loads of these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> hope they see sense soon . thinking of u love donnaxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JenRose Report post Posted August 5, 2007 paula, have you got good legal people. this HAS to be seen for what it is. you have done everything they have asked of you, you are a good mum and the system stinks, it really does. im so sorry it has come to this. jen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JenRose Report post Posted August 5, 2007 WHY are they expecting YOU to meet the foster carers when there hasnt been a decision made? talk about emotional pressure, are they hoping you will just say ok let him go with them then? i hope this goes against them in court. WHAT are they going to do with your ds if they get him, the worst thing they can do is try to take a child with ASD away from its mother. oh my god, do they realise what a can of worms they open in cases like this? on my FIL housing estate there are about 5/6 kids sueing our authority for taking them off their parents when they were younger, as the authority said they parents were mistreating them, now its been proven that they hadnt ever done that and the kids are grown up and the council will have to pay for what they have done. Keep strong Paula, you are a very very strong woman and you have got this far against all their bullying etc, you have done and are doing the very best that you can do for your son. hugs jen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JenRose Report post Posted August 5, 2007 WHY are they expecting YOU to meet the foster carers when there hasnt been a decision made? talk about emotional pressure, are they hoping you will just say ok let him go with them then? i hope this goes against them in court. WHAT are they going to do with your ds if they get him, the worst thing they can do is try to take a child with ASD away from its mother. oh my god, do they realise what a can of worms they open in cases like this? on my FIL housing estate there are about 5/6 kids sueing our authority for taking them off their parents when they were younger, as the authority said they parents were mistreating them, now its been proven that they hadnt ever done that and the kids are grown up and the council will have to pay for what they have done. Keep strong Paula, you are a very very strong woman and you have got this far against all their bullying etc, you have done and are doing the very best that you can do for your son. hugs jen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
