Secondary transfer evening

[Kathryn]

It's the time I've been dreading for the past three years: younger son moving up to secondary next year. We're in the process of looking round schools and tonight we went to L's old school, the first time I've set foot in the place since the days I used to dash over there to respond to the latest crisis, endless meetings discussing extra support and reduced timetables, going to multi professional meetings, looking through SEN files, crying in the senco's office....those were the days...

 

And now I have to put on a happy, positive face for my son's sake and feign enthusiasm and confidence in the school. I think i managed it, but it was really tough to walk back in there. It was also tough to sit in the hall and remember slightly happier times when we went to see L sing solo in school concerts. Just difficult to be on the premises at all.

 

I'm going to have to get used to it though, because this is the school he will probably go to. My personal feelings aside, it's an OK school, popular, produces good results, is 5 minutes' walk away, and where most of his friends will go. We saw another school which we also like and I would much prefer him to go there, just so that we can all have a fresh start, but it's quite a bit further away and it's doubtful he'd get in. He's not really bothered where he goes, and he's a completely different child to his sister and has had few problems at school so far, so he'd probably do Ok anywhere. My aversion to L's old school and particularly the head, is something I will have to get over for his sake.

 

Anyone else making similar school transfer decisions at the moment?

 

K x

[Bagpuss]

This will be us with eldest dd next year Kathryn, hope it all goes smoothly for your son, and I cannot begin to comprehend how difficult it must of been for you to return <'> <'>

[pearl]

<'> Kathryn <'> That must have been really hard.

It was the other way round for us with S being the eldest, with primary, secondary & 6th form I went from being invisible to extremely high profile each time!

Hope all goes well for your lad.

[KateBall]

Anyone else making similar school transfer decisions at the moment?

 

K x

 

 

Not quite yet but I do have a review meeting in December which will apparently discuss ds's transition into secondary school in September 2009. Does that seem a bit early to discuss it? I suppose its better early than late. Don't know what I should expect from this meeting.

[joybed]

Our son has just gone to comprehensive . We had many doubts about whether he would cope, fit in, be able to deal with "big school" and we still do on off days. On the whole though he is doing quite well and is enjoying school most of the time and does his homework most of the time. Our main problems is his very poor organisational skills and he keeps losing everything( I have asked for advice regarding this). Ironically my biggest fear was school transport and he seems to cope with this very well. I think you just need to go with your gut instinct, we sent DS to this school as this was where all the others from his class were going and we felt it would help him settle, but in reality he only has about 5 of his original class in his tutor and most of them he had little to do with. so it appears he is just on his own most of the time but is also happy with this.

[barefoot wend]

Kathryn

 

As you said in your post - your son is a different child and if it is the right school for him then you know it's the right decison and a brave one when you consider your past traumas with them.

 

Your post brought back memories of the day I attended the Xmas concert at Kerre's old school when his younger brother (who'd followed him to the school) gave a reading. I hadn't given it a second thought but was suddenly overwhelmed by the situation and the 'what might have beens' etc. I really had to fight back the tears and the urge to just run away.

 

As time has moved on I've put it behind me - and as Pearl has said, you'll be pretty invisible this time round - it's a much easier place to be.

 

Best wishes

 

Barefoot

[ASue67]

I am in the process of doing this with my eldest (NT). Been round two schools already and the third one is tonight.

This is relatively straightforward as Chris knows which school he wants to go to and it is a good school.

Am really trying to get a feel for the schools to see what will suit Mike when we go through the process with him in a couple of years time............... that will be when it is hard!!!!!

 

Good luck!

<'>

[Karen A]

Hi.We have started looking at Secondary schools a year in advance as recommended by the LEA.I visited a couple of schools last week.I had forgotten how stressful it is despite having done the rounds last year with J.

It is difficult for you to remain impartial when you have unhappy memories of a school <'> <'> Karen.

[Suze]

<'> , things like this do rake up the hurt and stress ,hope your o.k. hugs suzex

[BusyLizzie100]

Hi Kathryn, well done for getting through it.

 

I'll PM you.

 

Lizzie xxxxxxxxxx

[av16]

Well done for puting on a brave face. We are also doing the rounds, we fancied boarding school for him- weekly. Mainly because I think he would be safer, he is hopeless with travelling etc. and we thought he may make friends easier. He has different ideas though so it's likely he will go to his sister's school as several friends will also being going there and I've had good reports back from an ASD outreach teacher.

 

In lots of ways I'm glad because I would hate for him to go away but I'm so worried about the travelling.

[baddad]

<'>

 

L&P

 

BD

[Kathryn]

Thanks guys <'>

 

I'm still dithering - I had both prospectuses out today and was comparing the two. Only a couple more weeks to decide! Unless we win the lottery and move house , I expect we will go for L's old school, and just hope she doesn't spend the next year telling him how awful it was.

 

I do wish the other school was closer! There is a big emphasis on performing arts, ICT and media, which my son loves.

 

Good luck to anyone else going through the process at the moment - it's tough, isn't it.

 

K x

[Tally]

It sounds like the other school is a slightly better school, or maybe you are just trying to convince yourself of that, but the local school sounds like a good one, is nearer, and won't disrupt his friendships. He is going to do better in a school where he is happy and does not have a long journey to tire him out. Your feelings about the place are obviously hard to deal with, but hopefully you won't have to spend much time there.

[ellimoo]

Hi

I am a primary school teacher and currently attending a 1 year course on ASD. I am writng an assignment on school transistions and would really welcome your views on this. Have you been able to find out about the schools transistion policy for children with ASD?

[Kazzen161]

>>but I do have a review meeting in December which will apparently discuss ds's transition into secondary school in September 2009. Does that seem a bit early to discuss it? I suppose its better early than late. Don't know what I should expect from this meeting.>>

 

If anything this is a bit late, Yr 6 Transition Reviews are usually brought forward to October or November. If you are considering anything other than a mainstream school, you should really start looking now. If it is mainstream you are considering, make sure you go to any open days asap and talk to the senco's prior to the Review.

 

We started the process in the July of Year 5 and it was June of Yr 6 before the LEA agreed to a placement in an independent school.

 

Parents of children without Statements have to say which school they want their child to go to in the Autumn Term of Yr 6 and are told which school they have got into in the Spring Term.

[Kathryn]

Hi Ellimoo, and welcome

 

Unfortunately I can't help you here as my son who is about to transfer , does not have an ASD and so I haven't had to find out about the school SEN policy this time around. His sister who is on the spectrum and attended the school previously is the reason I'm on the forum.

 

Can I suggest that you start a new topic in Education and ask your question again? That way, you'll be more likely to atteract useful responses.

 

Thanks anyway for reviving my old thread. It gives me the chance for an update: we did in the end put down his sister's old school, "the devil we know". He wants to go there and it looks as though nearly all his friends have made the same choice. We'll hear on Monday - keep you posted.

 

And good luck to anyone else at the same stage - hope you get the school you want.

 

K x