bluefish Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi, my 4 year old son has just been diagnosed with ASD/Aspergers. I am a single mum and would love to speak to anyone who understands. I can not beleive I did not know and his nursery picked him out within 3 weeks since then it been a roller coaster. I am very sad. He is a joy but very hard work he speaks in quotes from tv(Thomas tank mostly) he calls me sir or fat controller mummy. anyone who understands please please reply Thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi Bluefish, and welcome to the forum. I am an adult with AS, but there are a lot of people with young AS/ASD children here, and I'm sure many of them will relate to you. You might be better posting in the Help/Advice or General sections, as this section is mostly to discuss adult AS issues. You will get more replies there. It's not surprising that you did not notice anything about your son. If he is your only child, you may well not have realised he was any different to any other children, or that his differences were autism-related. My parents did not notice anything either. My nursery and 2 schools pointed it out to them and they still did not think I could be autistic until I got my diagnosis earlier this year! A lot of people don't seem to realise until a certain point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi Bluefish, and welcome to the forum. I am an adult with AS, but there are a lot of people with young AS/ASD children here, and I'm sure many of them will relate to you. You might be better posting in the Help/Advice or General sections, as this section is mostly to discuss adult AS issues. You will get more replies there. It's not surprising that you did not notice anything about your son. If he is your only child, you may well not have realised he was any different to any other children, or that his differences were autism-related. My parents did not notice anything either. My nursery and 2 schools pointed it out to them and they still did not think I could be autistic until I got my diagnosis earlier this year! A lot of people don't seem to realise until a certain point. Thanks for reply. first time ever on internet today! how do i find help/advice bit to post things on? not thick honest, but nnot got a clue about computer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hiya Bluefish and welcome to the forum Have a read through some of the threads - any questions just ask. We're a friendly bunch <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Go to the forum index page (Click Here). You will see the list of all the separate sections. Click on the one that seems most appropriate to your post. Just hang around and you will get used to things. Mistakes can normally be fixed, and there are always lots of people who can answer questions about how to use the board, so don't be afraid to ask. It's really not that scary Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichelleW Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi, welcome to the forum - you'll find lots of friendly people who can offer advice, or just a listening ear. My eldest is now 7 but I knew he was autistic from the age of 2, but he had obvious (to me) signs, which was confirmed by his specialist childminder. However I was still told by initial peadiatrician that he wasn't autistic. Then at 4, he was diagnosed as Asperger's despite speech and language disorder. At 6 he was diagnosed as moderate autistic. I went through the same with J - everyone just said he wasn't talking because he was lazy and "boys are often slower". When J did start talking it was mainly echolalia i.e. repeating back what was said to him. He then started reciting back large chunks of what he had heard from DVDs or adverts! He still does it - and often out of context. It is only when I hear it on TV that I realise where it came from. I guess I will have the same with DS2, who at 3 has severe speech, language and communication disorder, but not diagnosed as ASD due to lack of evidence at the time. He only has 3 words and no spontaneous communication. He does not have any obvious stimming like J, and his routines and obsessions are not obvious except for lining up cars (his main obsession as well as Thomas the Tank engine!) All I can say is to take one day at a time Michelle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichelleW Report post Posted October 13, 2007 What I forgot to say is that if ASD isn't obvious to a specialist paediatrician who specialises in ASD, then there is no way that all parents can see it in their child, especially at a young age. What is important though is that you try to get as much support as possible. Apply for DLA as soon as possible - it is a daunting process but definitely worth applying for. Also have a look around the forum to see what else may help - I've heard the family fund is good - but I haven't claimed yet and still haven't filled in my forms! Michelle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi Bluefish, Welcome to the forum, hopefully you'll find lots of useful information here, everyone is lovely and we all shares our expereinces good and bad, the best thing of all is knowing you are not alone. Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi Bluefish..........your post made me smile..........my son used to live in a "fireman sam" world...........I was fireman sam , granny was bella lasagna ...............it goes on.He did grow out of it and he went on to have other obssesions and interests.Glad you found the forum you,ll find lots of info here , hugs suzex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi, welcome , my son was dx,d when he was 6/7yrs.He,s now an enormous 12 yr old and goes to a ASD unit attached to a high school.Glad you found us , hugs suzex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi Bluefish, welcome to the forum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hello and a great big welcome, I find it really hard too, so your defo in a place where we understand that one, it also brings loads of surprises too, hopefully we can help you find it easier and someone to talk things throw, there seems to be quite a few with four year olds here too, looking back when J was 4 it was the hardest ever, at that time I didnt know he had the difficulties identified now, with understanding ASD/ADHD and special needs I can learn new ideas and stratagies. Looking forward to getting to know you. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eva Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi Bluefish, welcome to the forum! I have a son with AS and he's 6. He used to call me 'sir' too (Thomas and Fireman Sam). Like Suze's son, mine is interested in other things now so don't worry, you won't be called 'sir' for too long! (My son at one point dropped 'mum' and 'dad' and called us by our actual names). Cheers, Eva Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hello and a great big welcome, I find it really hard too, so your defo in a place where we understand that one, it also brings loads of surprises too, hopefully we can help you find it easier and someone to talk things throw, there seems to be quite a few with four year olds here too, looking back when J was 4 it was the hardest ever, at that time I didnt know he had the difficulties identified now, with understanding ASD/ADHD and special needs I can learn new ideas and stratagies. Looking forward to getting to know you. JsMum is it ok to feel so so sad? feel guilty for feeling heartbroken.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frazzled Report post Posted October 13, 2007 It is not only ok to feel sad and heartbroken - it is normal!! Just take the time to remember that you may be feeling awful, but your child is probably getting on with life just fine. We as parents have different expectations, but our children know no other way of being so to them they are the normal ones. Although I seem to spend a good part of my life having a good cry, my daughter (aged 5 and high functioning) is a happy little girl. You will find a great deal of help and advice here, but probably the most important part is that you are not alone with this. Take care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Awwwwww bless you Bluefish, of course it, your little'un has only just been diagnosed there are going to be lots of mixed emotions and I am not surprised you feel so sad, things will get better and you've made a very postive step by joining this forum where you'll meet lots of people like you, people to share how you are feeling, people to give you support and ideas. Don't be hard on yourself its early days.... <'> <'> <'> Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted October 13, 2007 <'> <'> Hi and welcome Bluefish. It's totally OK and very very normal to feel sad. Autism is very daunting and the time after diagnosis is a huge challenge. There seems to be so much to learn but all at a time when you're totally blown away by the news. I remember reading once that it's a bit like being on a train that you never asked to get on, and now you can't get off. Another thing I read (I did a lot of reading after my son's diagnosis!) was that this is a marathon not a sprint. You really don't need to learn it all at once! Once I found this forum things became easier but 4 years on from diagnosis (O is 6 now) I still have big panics now and then. You do get used to it though and our children can be hugely entertaining at times, are usually dead honest and without 'side' and hidden agendas. O makes me cry at times and he can be soooo frustrating but he also makes me laugh almost every day and although he is diagnosed as severely autistic with SLD he has recently starting cuddling me and looking at me. He has very recently started to show that he knows how to read and write, things I did not think would ever be possible for him. With our children, you just never know and they are never ever boring!! Anyway, I'm rambling! Take care Elun xxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted October 13, 2007 Hi Bluefish, It's Ok to feel sad, and in time it won't seem so overwhelming as it does now. Welcome to the forum, anything you need to know, just ask, and someone will be along to help K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shars Report post Posted October 14, 2007 Hi Bluefish, We are a household full of asbergers ,,and its the best house ive been in.....Wouldnt it be boring if we were all the same,, lucky you to have a great son,,,It will get hard,,, and challaging,,,,he needs you,,everybody doesnt understand,,you have a huge mountian to climb,,have you read tony attwood?????If I have insulted you ignore...So good for you welcome to the world of asbergers....read read ...fight fight....good luck xoxoxoxoxsoxoshars Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted October 14, 2007 Hi Bluefish - my little man just turned 4 too but we've known he was autistic since he was around 13 months and he was formally diagnosed at 2 and 2 months. It can be very hard at times, very hard, but we're allowed to say that without feeling guilty :-) Welcome to the forums :-) Lynne x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted October 14, 2007 Hi Bluefish, a big welcome! <'> I'd say that it's OK to feel sad after the dx. My lad was diagnosed when he was 10 but I knew it since he was about 4. Try not to feel guilty, you haven't done anything wrong, it's perfectly normal to go through an emotional rollercoaster at first and it will get better in time. Keep posting here and read about ASD as much as you can. Good luck! Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted October 14, 2007 Welcome Bluefish <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted October 14, 2007 Hi bluefish Welcome to the forum <'> Hope you find answers to some of your questions, and all the other stuff this plays has to offer too L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted October 14, 2007 Hello and a great big welcome, I find it really hard too, so your defo in a place where we understand that one, it also brings loads of surprises too, hopefully we can help you find it easier and someone to talk things throw, there seems to be quite a few with four year olds here too, looking back when J was 4 it was the hardest ever, at that time I didnt know he had the difficulties identified now, with understanding ASD/ADHD and special needs I can learn new ideas and stratagies. Looking forward to getting to know you. JsMum thanks for your message. its so good to have found people who know how it feels! wish i had joined forum long time ago! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted October 15, 2007 Welcome Bluefish <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted October 15, 2007 (edited) Welcome to the forum. There are loads of people here who understand exactly where you are coming from. The first few weeks after diagnosis are very hard, even if it is what you have been expecting. Cut yourself a little slack and do not feel guilty about being upset or worried, there is no need. Have a look around at the other postings, and remember we are here to unload to if it all gets too much. Simon Edited October 15, 2007 by mossgrove Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted October 15, 2007 Hi again Bluefish, In case you're wondering where your other thread has gone, I've merged the two introductory threads together so you can read all the "welcome" posts in one thread here. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
