i feel like you know what!!!!!!

[hev]

i feel like absolute ****,had steve on phone from school crying from school just now,he wants to come home,i dont love him etc etc,its unbearable to hear it

 

i spoke to the care worker and he said steven has been swearing all day,turned all taps on full blast so has been banned from kitchen tonight which is his consiquence(?) for the bad behaviours,steven then stormed out of school,the man said he sees this sort of behaviour all the time from other children there,steves reacting to rules and being told what to do

 

i told him that ive always had trouble with consequences for steven,when hes played up i havent really done anything to be honest and so therefore we both agreed steve was gonna react badly to being told what to do cos hes not used to it,the man was lovely which was nice

 

i know all these things,i know to be strong but ive got a lump in my throat and a pain in my stomache,steve knows nothing of how im feeling,reassured him i love him,told him that im proud of him,i know its early days but i wish this rubbish feeling would go away

[Clare63]

Awwwww Hev, so heartbreaking. As you say you know all these things, but that does not stop the pain a Mother feels when their child crys out to them, no matter what they have done.

Know that sick to the stomach feeling only too well.

<'> <'> <'>

Clare x x x

[Tally]

Hev <'>

 

He is going to take some time to adjust. This is all new to him.

 

It sounds like the care worker knows the best way to handle it, and also that many other children have the same difficulties adjusting.

[bevalee]

<'> I know just how you feel. Keep strong, i've just had this with R, he still gets home sick and he has been in a residential setting for nearly 3 Years, 95% of the time he loves it there.

 

Its especially hard at first but it gets better and i'm so sure you've done the right thing. <'>

[soraya]

Dont feel bad you know they say these things to hurt us and get a reaction, they have to have someone to blame!!! sending lots of <'> <'>

[Karen A]

<'> <'> I do not have any advice but I am thinking of you all.Hang on in threre Hev.Karen.

[David Matthew Baker]

I'm sure it will get better again soon. These things have highs and lows. He was enjoying it the other day and I'm sure it will quickly return to him enjoying it. <'> <'> <'>

[Bagpuss]

Hev, I had a lump in my throat too, just reading your post, so gawd only knows how you must be feeling hun.

 

I'm thinking of you <'> <'>

[pearl]

Big <'> for you Hev, it must be so hard. He's bound to take time to settle & it sounds like they know what they are doing.

[Nic m]

Hev, stay strong and you will get through this.This is a big thing he is learning and its going to be tough for all of you but you can do it.

take care

nic

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My son is 6 and has recently attended a special unit for 3 months. I also had to attend (Incredible Years Programme). Whilst I think one the whole I was disappointed with the programme, there were one or two things which helped. Namely, I'd previously shyed away from consequences ie if I withdrew his favourite toy, I felt he lost sight of what the issue was about and would kick off big time. So other than ignoring him, I had no other strategies up my sleeve. However, after carrying out consequences, as encouraged by the programme, I found things intially got much worse. A few weeks on, I have noticed positive changes in Rs behaviour, in that he's that little bit older now and he realises if I say I will do something as a result of his bad behaviour, that I will do it.

 

R has done loads of things which reinforce my belief that he's a very intelligent (has to be said, manipulative, devious, etc as well!) little boy. You may have seen a fairly recent post in which because I'd asked him to put his school jacket on, all hell broke lose and he told his LA that I hit him all the time. Good example! Basically, it's incredibly difficult to be hard, but they can and do try and pull on the heart strings. Hope I'll be forgiven for saying so, but it sounds like Steve is doing just that. At the end of the day, Steve knows you love him, he's just in a situation where there's big changes going on which will help both of you. He's feeling uncertain about things and not liking it, hence reason I suspect he's pulling at the heart strings.

 

Keep strong and give it a bit of time.

 

Caroline.

[Kathryn]

Hev

 

<'> <'>

 

From what you say, the school are in control of the situation. Although it's tough now, things will get better.

 

K x

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

they are in contact with you

they are saying that they have seen it before

they can deal with it

 

 

<'> >< <'> >< <'> for you cos it so hard

xx

[brooke]

<'> <'> <'> It will get better for you both with time

[hev]

well things are better today they phoned me to say hes happy and hes phoning me tonight

[Nic m]

I am so pleased for you it must be such a relief.

nic

[loobylou2]

Thats good news Hev. Its bound to be hard for you all at first, but you've done the right thing <'>

[pearl]

Good news

[Bagpuss]

<'>

[Clare63]

well things are better today they phoned me to say hes happy and hes phoning me tonight

 

 

Good news Hev, here's hoping he's cheery tonight when he calls.

 

Clare x x x

[Karen A]

<'> <'> I hope you both had an ok evening and things go well today.Karen.