please help me

[noogsy]

hi folks im new.can i introduce myself.im noogsy.i have a seven year old son with asd and adhd.he has a high iq is very articulate bordering on genius but cant write his own name.the asd is to the fore at the minute.my problem is that i hate my wee ones headmaster he is standing in my way at every step and im getting really frustrated.no iep.no extra funding.horrible old snobby teacher who doesnt like my smartie child.in the next few weeks lou will start his meds.but i dont trust the school.every part of me wants him to stay in the house with me and not allow people to hurt him or be horrible to him im so upset we didnt know what was wrong untill a year ago when we really found him to be problem in that if he goes in a mood he decides not to talk at all. he is extremly intelegent and has a thick as a brick mother.although im starting to use reverse phycology with him and i have him on the ropes a bit with that.cos he not sure what im up to.im honestly at the end of my tether.i apologise for being the worst speller ever.it is probable that having read loads of bumf on adhd that i am also adhd and asd undiagnosed.please help me with hints on how to deal with school and teachers cos seriosly im dying.im desperate enough to listen to anything.thankyou noogsy

[nellie]

Hi noogsy, welcome to the forum,

 

You will find lots of information, support and understanding here. It can be a bit overwhelming at first, so take your time. I'm sure many people can relate to your story about the school and headmaster.

 

I have given you some links to information on education, it's a lot to take in, you will also find information on education helplines and parent partnership who may be able to empower and support you.

 

Take your time to read some of the many posts on here, it might help.

 

Take care, any questions, just ask.

 

Nellie <'>

 

 

NAS information on SEN procedure, NAS information sheets on Education

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=690

 

Useful Documents on SEN Procedure., For parents of children with SEN.

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=675

 

SEN Support and Information Services, SEN advice, information and support

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=676

[Helen]

Hiya Noogsy and welcome to the forum

 

Whenever I read of an awkward/reluctant headteacher 'the alarms bells' begin to ring - have you thought of schooling your son elsewhere?

 

Is your son on any particular SEN stage, e.g. school action or school action+?

[Jericho]

Hi Noogsy,

 

No advice to add but just wanted to say hello and welcome to the forum.

[oracle]

Hi Noogsy

 

Don't worry about the spelling - mine is dreaful. My two ASD sons are much better at most things than I am.

 

Tip - Don't let the head teacher or anyone make you feel small. You are a giant and head and foot taller than they are because you are fighting for your son.

 

I home educate for pretty much the reasons you gave for not wanting to send your son to school - so I can't give much advice. But Nellie had given some excellent links that really will help you.

 

take care and keep posting - never mind the spelling - you are in good company - MINE

 

Carole

[loulou]

Hi Noogsy,

 

<'> I know exactly how you feel, wanting to protect your son. That's what good parents do <'>

 

I have a 6 1/2 year old with ADHD and ?AS. He's been through hell at school and i've had him at home with me for 1 year. He's starting a new school (special) next month.

 

It's taken me 3 years to get this far.

 

All i can say is keep on fighting. Ask the LEA for a Statutory Assessment for your son and get as much "evidence" as you can to support it (maybe a letter from his paediatrician?).

 

Good luck, you will find this site so helpful.

 

Loulou x

[noogsy]

thankyou for replying to me.i know i sound desperate but thats cos i am.im a dafty i thought as i have a diagnosis of somthing being wrong with my wee one would mean that he would automaticly get help.WRONGGGGG!!!!! and im really fed up asking what i think are professional people..ie teachers for help and they havent a clue how to deal or even talk to my chid i will give you a example just so you know what im on about.HIS TEACHER TOLD HIM THAT MONSTERS WERE GOING TO COME DURING THE NIGHT AND TAKE HIM AWAY IF HE DIDNT BEHAVE HIMSELF IN THE CLASS.AND WHEN I WENT TO HIS HEADMASTER TO COMPLAIN HE STOOD AND LAUGHED.so now i have a seven year old who wont go upsairs on his own and wakes up at night screaming hos phyciatrist is now trying to get things sorted out for us but its going to take time.so im thinkin about taking him out of school and looking for somwhere eles.there are not that many places in scotland for children like him and its hard as i know i will be isolating him from the few friends that he has.i wish i could say somthing cheery at the moment but i honestly have a broken heart.sorry noogsy

[oracle]

Hi Noogsy,

 

If school are saying things like this to a little boy who will have a very literal interpretation of words, and then laughing at you, I would have them strung up! Have you an autism support group who can help you or a Carers Centre? They are often very good. You need some back up here and I am not surprised that you can not make cheery comments.

 

If he were my child he would not return there and I think that I would probably take action against the school - someone should

 

<'> Carole

[loulou]

Hi Noogsy,

 

I would agree with Carol. This is outrageous.

 

Don't let them get away with this sort of treatment.

 

Loulou x

[noogsy]

thankyou for listening and being kind and speaking to me you dont know how much it means to me.i know things are bad.you know its bad.i made a appointment with lous special teacher he got one two weeks ago lou has had his diagnosis since march last year.and i had to fight tooth and nail to get her.i told her what happened and she stormed out of the room we were having our meeting in and didnt come back for forty minutes,when she did come back she has promised me and my husband that she can change things for our child.and she has been trying.but im honestly feeling beaten at the moment.the school phychiatric services are coming in a few weeks as are camhs so we will have to wait and see.thankyou all again noogsy xxx

[hatter]

Hi noogsy, I haven't really got any advice but I just wanted to say how disgusted I am with the way the school have treated your son You must be so upset and angry (and your son too). I hope things get better for you soon- this site is a great source of information and support.

 

Keep us informed of what's happening, and best of luck

[Rabbit]

Hi Noogsy.

 

Just wanted to say be strong. You are doing a fantastic job. You know your child better than any of the professionals. Don't be fobbed off by the head teacher. We had a really bad head master....he told my son he was a retard and then asked my son to repeat what he had said ....so he did and said "you are a retard"....head flipped because he had only done what he had been told to do. Head thought he was being cheeky. I only found out about this incident because unbeknown to the head my friend was in school early to collect her child and she overheard the b@st@rd.

All hell let loose then and I removed J from the school. I have been home educating him for the past year and he has now been granted a placement in a special school from Sept.

 

You will get excellent help, support and advice from everyone here. I have only been a member a very short while......but have acheived so much since joining the gang here....much more than I have over the past two years going it alone.

 

Read what is posted here and take the advice offered......it really does help.

 

Dont worry about spelling and all that.....I have ADD and I am Dyslexic....takes me forever to post....but I get there in the end.....just have to do things in my own way at my own time....just like my little man.

 

take care.

 

Rabbit