At point break

[rocketgob]

Sorry to bleat and moan again - I know you all have things tough too but I don't know where else to go. I can't cope anymore with Charlie. the last 3 days he has been about the worse he has ever been, in fact I could actually go so far as to say he has got worse since he was assessed on Jan 10th. I have got no idea who the hell to speak to about him. I have got no support, my HV is about as much use as a chocolate teapot, all I was told was that he won't get seen or put into therapy til at least after easter. What do I do in the meantime? I have 2 other kids who are suffering as a result of his behaviours - he is sat in the hall shouting random stuff right now and slapping himself, my 7 year old won't come downstairs, my daughter won't leave my side and my husband has left for work already. He has had the whole house up since 3.30am as per normal, he is being soo aggressive and I have no idea why the dramatic change - I am scared of what he will do next. He has pre-school this morning too but no doubt they will tell me how perfectly lovely he is ....

 

[Sallya]

.....call back who you saw on January 10 and say his behaviour is deteriorating, and you urgently need help.Put the baby in her cot, scoop Charlie up, get him dressed, make a game of it if you can, a race against the timer and Charlie wins of course. Get them off to nursery and school, and come home for a cup of tea, then you can make that phone call, sorry if this is rubbish advice.s

xxx

[Karen A]

Rocketgob. <'> <'> If you are able to get Charlie to pre-school this morning and they tell you he is wonderful please do tell them clearly that you are having a very stressful time with him at home.I hope they may be helpful in asking for some support for you.Karen.

[ASue67]

Not sure what advise I can offer but wanted to send you some big <'> <'>

[Suze]

I think I remember youmentioniing in a previous post are seeing the pead this week ?............is that right?..............don,t want to seem to be pushing the" medication "..as an answer on you.But suggest to the pead trying melatonin, it may help with the sleep issues.If none of you have slept well any other issues you are having are just gonna seem 100% worse.I,d also keep a diary of what is going on at the moment so you have something to refer too when you see the pead, and they can truly comprehend the difficulties your facing at the moment.If I,m wrong and your not seeing the pead soon I,d get on the phone and request an urgent appt with who ever dx your son,tell them how bad things are for all your family , hope you get somewhere with them today best wishes suzex

[jonathan]

I feel so much for you but agree with the other person about the melatonin, my son who is 8 now never slept and things are hard enough without being over tired, he has been taking 2mg melatonin since last september and if I give it to him at 7.30pm he is asleep by 9.30pm which is great helping

all of us to cope better, I was told this is like a vitamin replacement as we all produce melatonin which tells our bodies to go to sleep but people with A.S don't so you are just replacing what is missing rather than drugging him up, so to speak, please don't be scared !!

Hope this helps

[Enid]

I felt at point break yesterday, my ds aged 12 has not had a meltdown since last sun but its been brewing all week, we were all out yesterday at a play park we always go to and he was manic, off the wall, I decided to leave and when we got home he refused to take his meds, he did eventually, but was brooding and menacing all evening, my 2 younger ones are so scared of him when he is like that, I managed to avoid a meltdown but was sick with fear all evening, as one wrong word can set him off.

[hev]

I managed to avoid a meltdown but was sick with fear all evening, as one wrong word can set him off.

thats what i used to feel like,still do to an extent,like walking on eggshells all the time

[Enid]

As police were involved last time, new years eve!, we now have a social worker, he has said to me that if he keeps having these rages he wouldnt be allowed to stay at home as he would be a danger to himself and the younger ones, we have never before been involved with social services and I would now be wary of asking for help, but how on earth do you and others cope with the violence, we are new at this as until just before christmas he was a little sweetheart at home, school has always been a problem, then all hell was let loose and we cant seem to get back on track, I look at him these days and dont recognise him, he has had EEG and blood tests and we are awaiting the results. Consultant at CAHMS said to me today on phone that in 25 yrs she has never seen such a profound change in a child for what seems to be no apparant reason. He has been ill for last 2 days with flu bug and we have all visably relaxed, and I feel so guilty for enjoying the peace and the lack of worry.

[josie h]

I know exactly how you feel Enid. we are waiting for a meeting at school, and as far as i know they have contacted social services due to C's outbursts. we too are going to CAMHS. The only advice they have given, rather than offering counselling or a behaviuor clinic, is talking about relaxation tecniques. Some how, i don;t think that when C is blowing a fuse he is going to think about 'counting to ten, or how many things can i see that start with the letter...' we are going back next Tuesday to CAMHS, and the meeting at school is on Wednesday. Wish me luck! Anyway, know how you al feel!

[Enid]

Thanks, It does help to know you are not the only one going through it. Last night he wouldn`t go to bed for 1st time ever, he just sat in chair and said I am not going and you can`t make me, don`t know why he is so very difficult these day, I ignored him totaly and when I went up at 11ish he did to but I feel he is controling me more and more. At least he wasnt violent so thank god for small mercies, but it means I has no "me" time, and I need it!

[Karen A]

<'> <'> <'> Enid.I am very sorry that things are tough again.I hope that Camhs are able to figure out why your DS has changed so rapidly and to be able to help you in this stressful situation.Karen.

[Enid]

on Phone today Pead at CAHMS said to me in 25 yrs she had never seen or heard of a child who changed so profoundly in such a short space of time, they keep asking me if he has had access to drugs but he never goes anywhere, only drugs he has are those they give him! At the moment he is playing dressing up with his 2 younger siblings, just like the old J, but am on tenderhooks as if anything goes wrong he will react, am already nervous about bedtime tonight and am exhausted!

[hassleabe]

As police were involved last time, new years eve!, we now have a social worker, he has said to me that if he keeps having these rages he wouldnt be allowed to stay at home as he would be a danger to himself and the younger ones, we have never before been involved with social services and I would now be wary of asking for help, but how on earth do you and others cope with the violence, we are new at this as until just before christmas he was a little sweetheart at home, school has always been a problem, then all hell was let loose and we cant seem to get back on track, I look at him these days and dont recognise him, he has had EEG and blood tests and we are awaiting the results. Consultant at CAHMS said to me today on phone that in 25 yrs she has never seen such a profound change in a child for what seems to be no apparant reason. He has been ill for last 2 days with flu bug and we have all visably relaxed, and I feel so guilty for enjoying the peace and the lack of worry.

i know how you feel about the violence we have always had a problem with our 14 year old but since getting excluded from his special school for attacking a teacher he as got worse we too had to have the police but even now i dont think i day goes by without him telling me that i should be killed we walk on egg shells everyday his twin brother doesnt want him ere anymore but its so hard when you love them so much but if i am honest i'm scared for our safety we are still waiting for the funding for him to go to resindential school we still have no help or respite all we have is cahms who have taken years to believe us over the real issues of living with him

[Enid]

i know how you feel about the violence we have always had a problem with our 14 year old but since getting excluded from his special school for attacking a teacher he as got worse we too had to have the police but even now i dont think i day goes by without him telling me that i should be killed we walk on egg shells everyday his twin brother doesnt want him ere anymore but its so hard when you love them so much but if i am honest i'm scared for our safety we are still waiting for the funding for him to go to resindential school we still have no help or respite all we have is cahms who have taken years to believe us over the real issues of living with him

 

I can tell you know what we are going through, has your son always been violent? If they are in residential school do you still have full parental rights? Today has been a good day so far and he went to bed fine last night but I am on red alert all the time untill he`s alseep.

[hassleabe]

I can tell you know what we are going through, has your son always been violent? If they are in residential school do you still have full parental rights? Today has been a good day so far and he went to bed fine last night but I am on red alert all the time untill he`s alseep.

yes we will still have full parental rights...we have actually told them we want 52 week placement a few weeks ago i would have said no way to any of this but for all our sanity we have to do it ....tonite he as been so inappropriate to his twin and me .......he as'nt always been this bad but yes he was violent wehn he was younger too if i'm honest dont know if this is the right way to ay it but i feel like he seems to enjoy what he does to us and like you i am scared

ps with the 52 wk placement he will still come home every weekend but it also means over the summer etc if things get violent we can get a break too

[Enid]

yes we will still have full parental rights...we have actually told them we want 52 week placement a few weeks ago i would have said no way to any of this but for all our sanity we have to do it ....tonite he as been so inappropriate to his twin and me .......he as'nt always been this bad but yes he was violent wehn he was younger too if i'm honest dont know if this is the right way to ay it but i feel like he seems to enjoy what he does to us and like you i am scared

ps with the 52 wk placement he will still come home every weekend but it also means over the summer etc if things get violent we can get a break too

 

THANKS. a few weeks ago I Wouldnt have even been asking these questions, Am going to look into it just in case things get worse, or don`t get better! how do you go about it?

[hassleabe]

THANKS. a few weeks ago I Wouldnt have even been asking these questions, Am going to look into it just in case things get worse, or don`t get better! how do you go about it?

TO BEhonest we didnt have much choice he was permantly excluded and no school in this area will have him so they have said cos of his violence etc it would be better if he was residential