Birthday party advice

[Emum]

My DD (who will be 7 soon) has never had or been invited to a birthday party, nor have the children of some friends of mine also on the spectrum. As they all feel a bit sad when their siblings go off to have fun, I've invited 3 children to a birthday party for my child next weekend. They are all on the spectrum, and all but one is non-verbal, two are still in nappies.

 

I've asked for parents to stay, party will only be for an hour, and I've sent photos to all the children in advance (only one has ever been to my house before, and all 4 children have never played together - not even sure that all 4 know each other though each child will know at least 2 others)

 

Any tips or advice as to how to pull this one off. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as its a first time for all of them, I'd like it to be an experience they all enjoy and will remember.

[Karen A]

It seemed like a good idea at the time,

What time was it....and how much alcohol had you had.

Sorry...no wisdom but do hope it goes well xx Karen.

[hev]

oh i think that is a well lovely idea also cos youve said for an hour and the parents are staying everything will be fine

let me know how you get on

[llisa32]

Hiya - lovely idea and I'm sure it will be fine <'>

 

Few suggestions from me based on my own son...

 

Remind him and check that as other children will be coming to his house it will be natural for them to want to play with his toys and indeed 'it is nice to share', but...if there are any 'special' toys that he does not want other children to play with, or that he'd be upset about them playing with he should hide them away with you before the party.

 

Have you thought about what you are going to entertain them with for the duration?? - maybe worth hiring a small ball pit if you have the space, or a mini bouncy castle if you have a garden. A puppet show with 'cheeky' puppets has always gone down well with my son

 

Mine will never play 'pass the parcel' cos the chances of the pressie at someone elses house being something he actually wants is slim - therefore he see's no need to play the game cos he doesn't want the pressie!

 

Any party games where you can gaurantee them all 'winning' in some 'creative' form or another are good - I got a bag of 'winners' gold medals from the supermarket (all the major ones have them in the party section) and they all loved wearing their medals.

 

Don't forget party bags - they are always a nice treat for my son and he has on occasion asked me rather too loudly as we leave a party 'wot...no party bags!!

 

Snacky fav food for the kids and some wine for the grownups !!

 

You might enjoy it soo much you run into 2 hours!

 

Good luck and hope they all have a great time <'>

[baddad]

No real advice, other than 'go with the flow', but i hope the flow is in a direction that leaves them all happy little bunnies for the duration! <'>

 

Have FUN

[oxgirl]

I'd be inclined to just let it be quite informal if it was me. Maybe set up a few nice little activities, train set in one corner, farm set in another, table with some playdough on it and some cutters, set some puzzles out, maybe make little areas with different activities or toys set up a bit like a nursery would and just let them go at it. It's not for long and as long as they all enjoy playing and have some nice cake (if they're allowed it) then I'm sure they'll all be happy.

 

Good luck, hope it goes well. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I think you've done the right thing by firstly trying it - if you don't try, you don't know what will happen. Secondly, you've set a manageable time limit or one hour and lastly, you've asked parents to stay. Guess the key is to take it as it comes. Maybe you could ask your friends/parents if the kids have special interests.

 

One thing that I have to remind myself is that I assume that R should act in a certain way if he's enjoying himself (as do others) when in fact he may actually be having fun even though he's not smiling or laughing.

 

Simple is often best!

 

Caroline.

[KateBall]

Lovely idea - if not a bit mad!! But we must practice what we preach. Don't have too high expectations and go with the flow (as someone else said) that way you won't be disappointed when totally different things happen than you expect. I like the idea myself of having different play things out. The best party my ds had at home (some years ago when he was quite young) was when we just let them play as they liked - with a sand pit, paddling pool, cars, trains etc. Hope it goes really well - they deserve it.

[forbsay]

I think it is a lovely idea as well.

 

I would keep it quite simple.

 

Let us know how it goes.

[Emum]

Thanks everyone. You may have guessed that Karen A knows me well in the real world not just the virtual one, so quite accurately guessed how the idea came about

 

Am going to go with the activity station idea, and hope that the weather is good, so that I can maybe do some water play/sand play in the garden as well as some toys out in the living room. Fortunately DD is quite good about sharing, so don't think there will be an issue about her not wanting others to play with her toys, and all 4 of them are obsessed by candles, so if nothing else the birthday cake should be a hit (though they might all have to have a turn blowing the candles out!!)

[Bagpuss]

Hope it goes well

[Deedee]

I really hope this goes well for you and everyone has a lovely time It'll probably be a wonderful experience for the other parents and children too as so many of our kids like you said have never experienced anything like this

How about a little fairy cake each with a candle on that they can blow out with the parents help?

Edited February 29, 2008 by Deedee

[Emum]

How about a little fairy cake each with a candle on that they can blow out with the parents help?

 

That is a fantastic idea! Thanks

[Emum]

Hi - party over and just though I'd report back in the aftermath!

 

It was a huge success! I spent the morning making visual supports for everything I could think of, but none of them were used! We had no tears, no fights and no one needed to use the quiet room I'd set up. We had 4 ASD kids and 5 non-ASD siblings who played separately. The ASD kids did play together and apart - they tended to play in twos rather than all four together.

 

We went with the lots of activities available rather than organised party games, which worked well.

 

The party lasted 2.5 hours not the 1 we had planned and all of the kids would have stayed longer if they could.

 

And the birthday girl loved being the centre of attention and smiled and giggled thoughout. Wish I hadn't waited 7 years before trying this

 

Am definitely on for this next year

[oxgirl]

Aw, that's so lovely, Emum, I'm so glad it went well. Very well done to you for all your hard work and planning.

 

~ Mel ~

[Kathryn]

 

Great to hear it went so well.

 

I hope there wasn't too much clearing up afterwards, but I bet it was worth all the hard work. Even though you didn't use some of the things you'd set up, having prepared so well probably helped you feel relaxed on the day.

 

K x

[forbsay]

that is such a lovely story.

 

Well done

[Karen A]

<'> <'> <'> That is great news.

If you didn't get to use the quiet room and are sad that it was not used then do keep it in place.....It is a handy thing to have should anybody in the area need a place to chill.

Somone on this Forum made suggestions that were less than helpful...and also questioned the wisdom of the idea...cannot think who that person was but I wouldn't listen to their sceptical comments in future.