3rd meltdown this week!!!!

[JsMum]

I hope your evening is a sound one, you deserve your own space tonight, it does give a clear picture of how things are with that one line of his bedroom, I have had the same for J too, ss wouldnt say anything, only that it is clear you need support with him, bless him, they look so adorable when there asleep, and its hard to know how they can be like they are when there awake, for us the weighted blanket has been a great support for J, others have said how there kids dont like it, its one of those things that you have to give it a try.

 

Anyway night night, see you tomorrow.

 

Sweet dreams.

 

JsMum

<'>

[purplehaze]

Night Enid, Hope you have a better day tomorrow X

[hev]

hello enid,hope all calm in your house <'>

[oxgirl]

Enid, how are things going at school for your lad, is he worrying about going back after the break do you think? Does he have friends in or out of school, is he lonely? It sounds as if he is overwhelmed with worries and troubles at the moment, maybe he's unable to express them fully. I know my lad (AS/14) can get very depressed and feel very bad about himself, the fact he has no friends and doesn't feel like he can cope with school/life sometimes. I'm very, very lucky, he hasn't up until now, shown any signs of aggression or violence, but I know there is a lot of anger and fear in him that he just has to let out sometimes, usually crying with him. Does your lad enjoy drawing, would he be able to sit and draw out his feelings or paint as a way of expressing himself, does he enjoy any sports, running or swimming? It really sounds as if he is desperate for an outlet and that you're taking the brunt of it at the moment. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Enid]

We are not back at school till next Tues, so it cant be that, he is not into sports, but does like swimming which is something we do a lot of, and also waking with the dog. Its hard to know whats best at the moment as he is soo different and difficult, He seems to enjoy making life as difficult as possible, this morning we were all set for a day out, he got the two youngest sorted in car whilst I was locking up etc. then walked off and said "have a good time I`m not coming! I have absolutely no idea why he did this, if I ask he just says, cos I can, or its fun, he has never behaved like this previously, I dedcide to still go, I got the 18yr old and asked him not to leave house til we returned at 4ish, he agreed, (after cash had exchanged hands!!) so off we went, I was worried sick all day, he apparantly just playd out on his scooter, he is at the moment playing in garden with his brother and sister like the lovely little boy he was/is/used to be, who knows what tonight will bring. keep you posted. Enid

[Enid]

well here we go again, me and littlies all in my room as ds rages round house slamming doors and playing music full blast. He has been like this since 6, this time because he didnt have, the pudding he wanted, very low key at first so kept out of way getting littlies sorted, went downstairs to watch soaps with him, he is obsessed with them! and after about 10mins of normal behaviour he got up and faced wall, then started kicking it, I went upstairs and put ds3 and dd1 in my bed as I could see where it was going, still banging and slamming now, I have not said a word so he is upping the noise to get some reaction, dread to think what state the house is in!!!! Am desparate for loo!! but determined not to come out of room as he is hanging about outside, and I dont intend giving him the satisfaction of seeing any reaction from me, It is an absolute nitemare and not sure how much more I can take. Enid

[JsMum]

Enid how are things now, just logged on, saw your in a really difficult situation, I think you really do need to take very immidiate action surely it cant continue like this, it must be soo frightening for the little ones, I personally think you have to look into a short term break for your son with apropirate support, from your posts I feel things are going to esculate out of control, you need urgent help, him knowing your all upstair too scared even to go to the loo will give him great power and control.

 

JsMum

[Enid]

Hi J`smum, well out now and all kids asleep, I came down at 9.30 and he said, night mum in a normal voice and went to bed, THEN I saw door in lounge, all kicked in, could not believe it, he is really out of control at mo, WHO would i ring for help?, ss closed case after 3 months assessment period as they said it wasnt a social care problem but a psychiatric problem and he needed specialist help, CAHMS had him in for assessment and they said he was no different from assessment 2 yrs ago and they would try to get ss to reopen case, have been to docs today and asked them to write to ss to see if that helps as i really need some kind of support. Ignoring him works, in that he hasnt had to be restrained and he wasnt hitting me, but, I know there has to be a consequence for the door, but I just want to ignore it, cos any consequence will be another 3 hours,at least, of abuse, verbal and physical, god why does it all have to be so blumming difficult. Enid

[Kathryn]

Oh Enid,

 

<'> <'>

 

I hope tomorrow is better.

 

K x

[hev]

enid <'> <'>

[Enid]

Well decided last night, after posting, that there just HAD to be a consequence for that appalling behaviour, so before I chickened out I went upstairs and confiscated his brand new trainers, and told him he would not be getting them back untill I had seen a marked improvement in his behaviour, he screamed and shouted, but that was all , just noise, I have told him this morning that he is going way too far with his agression and that he will pay for all the damage done to house, he was very sulky but didnt challange me, but he is usually ok in the day its about 6ish, (now!) when he can get very hypo or challanging, so. keep you posted and thanks for support/advice. Enid

[Karen A]

Enid <'> <'> I hope you have a better evening this evening.

I was wondering.I am not an expert on medication at all.However I thought DS was on some medication before when he was in respite.Could it be that the medication wears off later in the day ??? If so would it be worth seeing if there is anything Camhs can do to review it.It is just a puzzle that things often kick off at about the same time of day ???? or could it be that that is the time when the little ones need more attention ?? Karen.

[Enid]

Hi, he has 1mg resperiodone, am and pm, also 30mg of equasym am, because it was thought he was worse when equasym wears off he now has, (since march) 20mg of ritalin at 6, but it seems to have no affect on him at all. It is very strange it is always about the same time, he likes routine so I try to make sure nothing is different and other kids know to steer clear of him and keep it calm about that time, but he nearly always manages to find something wrong and it builds up all evening, very wearing. At mo he is watching dr who and seems very calm, so am hoping for a quiet evening!! Enid

[Karen A]

Hi, he has 1mg resperiodone, am and pm, also 30mg of equasym am, because it was thought he was worse when equasym wears off he now has, (since march) 20mg of ritalin at 6, but it seems to have no affect on him at all. It is very strange it is always about the same time, he likes routine so I try to make sure nothing is different and other kids know to steer clear of him and keep it calm about that time, but he nearly always manages to find something wrong and it builds up all evening, very wearing. At mo he is watching dr who and seems very calm, so am hoping for a quiet evening!! Enid

 

Enid. I need to be honest that I know very little about medication so cannot really offer a helpful response having asked the question.

However it may be worth mentioning to Camhs next time you see them to see if there is anything they can suggest re changing meds so the evenings are more settled.Karen.

[hev]

enid i really hope that tonight is a better evening <'>

[Enid]

It was thanks! all is calm, 3 kids asleep, 18yr old out on town, me sat on sofa with glass of red! Phew!!!! Enid

[hev]

enid

[purplehaze]

Hello Enid, as I have said your son is similiar to mine and I was given a name of someone from NAS (i'm quite lucky as I work in education & can get a bit more info). This person suggested my son needed a care plan from the SS and to see a phyciatrist and even gave me a name of someone who works wonders with ASD children and behaviour in my area. So I need to get refered by my Doctor.

 

So maybe you should contact SS again to ask about your sons case.

[Enid]

Hi Purplehaze, Thanks for that, seeing doc tomorrow so will ask, have already asked last friday that he refer me to ss again. Saw your post RE your son at school and that was just what my son was like in class in yr 7, he couldnt cope, nor could they!!! he is now at a special school an hours drive away, he is doing well there, when I can get him to go that is, I am also in education, a pre-school teacher, I could write a book about the troubles I have had with my son at school! Enid

[hev]

been wondering how the past couple of nights have gone enid,has everything been calm?hope so love <'>

[soraya]

Hi Enid, your son sounds very similar to mine, when Nick was 12 his behaviour got really bad, huge meltdowns with him being very violent, l even asked ss to take him as l couldnt cope, but they wouldnt, they said if l was hurting him they could take him but not if he was hurting me so l wouldnt worry about them taking him away!!! Anyway CAMHS said it was linked to puberty, and l must admit is doesnt have so many meltdowns now although he still gets violent if he doesnt get his own way, he is now nearly 15 and nearly through puberty!! Sorry not much help, just wanted to say you are not alone and stay strong for your little ones. <'> <'>

[Enid]

Hi, Hev and Soraya. thanks for thinking of me, 4 calm nights running, AND went to school without a fuss today, it was the first day back after the Easter break so was expecting a fuss, Its easy to get lulled into a false sense of security though, but am enjoying the calm while I can. The worry with ss was/is that they think he may be a risk to the younger ones. Its reasuring though to think there might be light at the end of the tunnel! When we have all been shut in one room to stop him attacking us, or I have sent the little ones to the neighbours for help, I too have thought of ringing ss to come and get him as I cant go on anymore, or think its not fair to the little ones, and then when its over I`m glad I didnt. Good job we love em!!!! Thanks all ..Enid x

[hassleabe]

Hi, Hev and Soraya. thanks for thinking of me, 4 calm nights running, AND went to school without a fuss today, it was the first day back after the Easter break so was expecting a fuss, Its easy to get lulled into a false sense of security though, but am enjoying the calm while I can. The worry with ss was/is that they think he may be a risk to the younger ones. Its reasuring though to think there might be light at the end of the tunnel! When we have all been shut in one room to stop him attacking us, or I have sent the little ones to the neighbours for help, I too have thought of ringing ss to come and get him as I cant go on anymore, or think its not fair to the little ones, and then when its over I`m glad I didnt. Good job we love em!!!! Thanks all ..Enid x

we have just had an assessment done by the ss it came through yesterday for the same reasons as you our solicitor demanded it because of the no education etc and guess what even though we go through so much abuse and have the police so often they are still not going to offer anyhelp as they say we are coping well (we arent) so now its back with the solicitor .....to update on our situation with education it went to court this week they have been given till friday to supply 15 hours home tuition or they are going to the high courts on monday all this is so scarey oh yes something else they SS did an asessment on my other son to see if he was a cjild in need and they have decided he is not even though he goes throu all this and as aspergers too like his brother

[soraya]

It makes me so mad that there are so many of us at risk from our children and no one wants to know!!I know just how you feel Hassleabe, as we asked SS for help when my son was attacking me and they said there was nothing they could do, it is very scary that even with solicitors involved you have got no where. When someone gets seriously hurt, maybe someone will do something. Good luck with he high court. <'> <'>

[hev]

yes good luck with the high court <'> let us know how you get on

enid i used to think that sorayas nick and my steve were twins who were seperated at birth cos they were so similar!!sounds like it was actually triplets what with your boy!!

 

and this is going to sound strange with what you read lately on the forum about steve but his behaviours are definately calming down,the meltdowns are a lot fewer as hes getting older,if you went back to me a couple of years ago they were happening nearly every night so there is light at end of tunnel it just seems miles away sometimes!!

[Enid]

Hi all, thanks for replies, amazing how all these boys are following the same pattern! and how nobody helps us, well another good day for me, if you dont count him falling out with taxi driver on way home and throwing his woodwork out of window!!!! driver told me he had palyed the same track on cd all way there and back, 2hrs round trip, he asked him to take it off, and ds said no, or words to that effect!! so driver turned it off and ds threw woodwork out, oh well, I`ve had a quiet night so will be gratefull for that and just hope he dosnt refuse to go with driver in morning as no other driver would put up with him thats for sure. Enid.

[hev]

glad you had better night <'>