Thread moved ???? Thread

[Karen A]

Morning All.

I have moved the ???? thread off Forum for now.

I have not been around for a couple of weeks due to no internet..so need to catch up.Karen.

[bid]

Sorry, I didn't see this when I posted in Off Topic.

 

Can I just say I think she has a right to express her opinion, and that her thread shouldn't have been removed.

 

IMO she raised legitimate points, as did the other posters.

 

I am also concerned that removing her thread like this may well mean she doesn't come back to the forum, which I think will be a terrible shame and a real loss

 

Bid

Edited May 8, 2008 by bid

[baddad]

Hi bid/all -

Yes, a legitimate point was raised about the potential for someone being unintentionally upset by misguided comments.

I had already answered that in the original post which I closed last night, suggesting that a 'heads up' either in the original thread, a PM to the moderators and/or a PM explaining the concerns to the original poster all seemed far more appropriate than starting a new thread which, with the best will in the world, could not do anything but cause more upset for all parties concerned.

 

I will post more later, as I have to go out in a few minutes, but I can assure everyone that the person people assumed to be the injured party has reassured me that they are happy with the way the moderators handled the situation - This prior to either the post last night, Lya's post this morning or this thread started in response to Lya's moved post.

 

As I said, I'll post more later. meanwhile, I'm late for an appointment.

 

BD

 

PS: I haven't even looked at this morning's deleted post yet - but fully appreciate that karen having just walked back in in the middle of hostilities behaved perfectly reasonably in moving the thread while she found out more.

 

BD

[bid]

Hi bid/all -

Yes, a legitimate point was raised about the potential for someone being unintentionally upset by misguided comments.

 

PS: I haven't even looked at this morning's deleted post yet -

 

 

Sorry to be pedantic, but if you haven't read Lya's thread from this morning, how can you comment on any points raised?

 

Bid

[Flora]

I didn't see the thread or threads, but there seems to be lots of threads and posts disappearing.

 

I know of one which was deleted a few weeks ago and the poster hasn't been back since and that is a real shame.

 

Flora

[bid]

I agree, Flora

 

In her thread this morning Lya raised a number of points, people responded from different perspectives and everyone had valid points to make.

 

Now we have all effectively been silenced.

 

I really hesitate to raise this point from Lya's thread, but she expressed the fact that she had lost confidence in the mods.

 

I even wonder if this thread will now be removed

 

Bid

Edited May 8, 2008 by bid

[Karen A]

Hi All.

I wanted to post to offer an explanation.

I honestly have no idea what has been happening on the Forum in the last few days.

I have not had intenet access for a fortnight so have not been around.

I came on the Forum this morning and moved the thread because I had no idea what was going on and needed to take Ben to school.

I moved it because I had no idea what was happening and there were no other Mods around...I did not want anyone to be upsett.

I have no idea what has been going on....but I have resigned as a Moderator this morning so I will not be moving anything.

I am extremely sorry to anyone who was offended by what may have been a genuine mistake. Karen.

[bid]

I'm really sorry you feel you need to resign, Karen, and I really hope you reconsider

 

I didn't intend anything personal against you

 

But the fact remains that, whether Lya or any of the other posters in her thread were right or wrong in their concerns, they all had the right to express their opinions.

 

Lya's original post in her thread was in response to a comment of BD's, and she said that she felt it was important that she posted openly on the forum rather than 'in secret'...and then her thread is deleted.

 

To me there is a principle at stake here, and nothing personal

 

Bid

Edited May 8, 2008 by bid

[Cariad]

Hi All.

I wanted to post to offer an explanation.

I honestly have no idea what has been happening on the Forum in the last few days.

I have not had intenet access for a fortnight so have not been around.

I came on the Forum this morning and moved the thread because I had no idea what was going on and needed to take Ben to school.

I moved it because I had no idea what was happening and there were no other Mods around...I did not want anyone to be upsett.

I have no idea what has been going on....but I have resigned as a Moderator this morning so I will not be moving anything.

I am extremely sorry to anyone who was offended by what may have been a genuine mistake. Karen.

 

I haven't been on properly for a few days, just popping in from time to time, but Karen you do a fantastic job as Moderator, don't have to resign!

[Karen A]

Hi All.

I wanted to post to say that I have resigned as Moderator and my resignation has been accepted.

I will still be around on the Forum just not in a Mod hat.

I am very happy with the decision I have made....so please do not all feel you need to ask me to reconsider. <'> <'> Karen.

[Tally]

Concerns were indeed raised with the moderating team earlier this week. We took them seriously and looked into whether anyone was getting upset. Unfortunately, it can sometimes take a while for people to respond, and in this case, the person concerned did not reply for 24 hours, and the matter was brought to the open forum less than an hour later.

 

We were trying to deal with the concerns raised, but had to get all the facts from all involved before we could take any action.

 

If posts are likely to lead to conflict, we do delete them, and will continue to do so, as we feel it is in the best interests of the forum. Often the poster's intentions are good, but we have to look at the likely results.

 

In the meantime, if you have concerns, please raise them with a moderator. Most members have enough to deal with without getting caught up in other people's conflicts.

[warrenpenalver]

I think people are taking things faaaaarrrrrr too personally and jumping to conclusions far too quickly!!

 

I think we are ALL guilty of occasionally writing things that come out wrong or accidentally offend when that was not the intention. I know a lot of people (with ASD or not) rely heavily on the words used to inferr meaning when the same sentance can mean slightly different things to different people.

 

I dont think anybody here is trying to be malicious so maybe its best we all take a chill pill before you get upset and try and think alternative meanings or maybe they said something wrong. Im good at putting my mouth in my foot when i dont intend too and can say some complete shockers that offend!!

 

:robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie:

[bid]

I am really uncomfortable with the way things have been dealt with last night and today

 

I think my time here is up

 

I'm sorry you have resigned, Karen, and apologise as I feel this must be my fault

 

Bid

Edited May 8, 2008 by bid

[Flora]

Nobody at all should feel pressured or obliged to leave the forum or resign from their position as moderator.

 

I don't really know what has happened over the past few days, but hope nobody feels bullied or pressurised to the point that they don't feel welcome here.

 

Sorry if that sounds like condescending platitudes, but just felt it needed to be said.

 

Flora

[kellyanne]

If I'd have realised the trouble my thread last night was going cause I would never have posted.

Yes I could have put a different title and in hindsight I realise that, the thread wasn't meant to upset or cause offense to anyone and I'm really really sorry that it has. :tearful:

 

Karen I too am sorry that you feel you have to resign as mod and I also feel that I have had a part to play in it again for that I am really sorry.

[baddad]

Hi Bid/all - The following was originally intended as a PM, but as so much has been posted on forum i think it only fair to respond on forum...

 

Hi - I've just got back from college - sorry if the response hasn't been quick enough.

 

Rather than picking through the whole thread, as the main point you seem concerned about is Lya's post, I'll respond to that and your own comments on it:

 

Yes, Lya did give me the heads up that she was concerned that some online joking' had gone too far and that another member might be feeling offended. I responded as soon as I got the message, saying that I would PM the member concerned to see how she felt about it, and act accordingly on receiving a reply. Lya replied saying thankyou.

I PM'd the member eleven minutes after receiving Lya's PM - at my speed that was about the time it took to write Lya's reply and the PM to the member she was concerned about...

 

That member PM'd me back at around 8 last night. She told me she did think things had gone a bit too far, but she didn't think there was any malice involved and she didn't want us to mention it to the person who made the post because she didn't want to cause her upset. She also assured me that she wouldn't bite her tongue if anything else was added, and I reassured her that nobody would judge her harshly if she didn't. I also reassured her that we would be happy to send a polite PM to the other member on her behalf pointing out the crossed boundary, and that we would do so in any event if there were further posts of a similar nature.

This to me, the rest of the mods and the potentially offended member seemed a perfectly reasonable solution.

 

Don't know quite what I/we failed to do there, or why lya should have lost confidence in the moderating team. She made a suggestion that another member might have been upset, I followed it up and the member lya was concerned about was completely happy with the action taken on her behalf...

 

You also raised some concerns about the thread I locked last night:

 

 

Yup ...I've had Kellyanne worried last night at work because all she was trying to do was cheer up ***.

 

kelly-anne PM'd me within minutes of me closing the thread, and I responded within minutes reassuring her not to worry about it. I'm surprised she didn't tell you if you were on shift together.

Kelly anne's thread is still on forum but locked. People can see my reasons for locking it - for the most part what feedback I have had has confirmed that I was right to do so. The intention may well have been to reassure ***, and that's fine - i'd be the first to join in if she was upset. In reassuring ***, though, it also indirectly 'targeted' another/other members as the cause of ***'s supposed distress, which I felt was unreasonable - particularly as *** herself had told me only hours previously how she would like the situation to be handled.

 

As far as anyone leaving the forum goes, I see no reason for anyone to feel that put out by a piece of "misguided" banter, and I see nothing in any of the above to imply that the situation has been handled badly by myself or any other member of the mod team.

I'm happy to discuss that further by PM, but in all honesty don't really see what I can add to the above...

 

 

 

L&P

 

BD

[bid]

All I can say one last time is that I think Lya had a right to express her opinions in her thread this morning, as did the subsequent posters.

 

If there was anything in her opening post that was unacceptable, a mod could have just edited it.

 

Lya was trying to say goodbye, and explain her reasons for leaving the forum. I still think she had a right to express this.

 

I also think I had a right to explain (politely, I think) that I felt her thread should not have been removed.

 

Bid

[Suze]

............this forum is confusing the heck out of me .......personally I,m glad I,m not a Mod, cos I know I,d be the one doing the wrong thing....I can,t do right for doing wrong most of the time.....its true , I stumble through life ducking my good intentions as they come flying back to hit me slap bang in the face.Can,t we all remember that we are all stumbling along trying to do the best we can , it may go askew sometimes but hey , does,nt really matter in the grand scheme of things.

[Flora]

You're so right Suze <'>

[Karen A]

Nobody at all should feel pressured or obliged to leave the forum or resign from their position as moderator.

 

I don't really know what has happened over the past few days, but hope nobody feels bullied or pressurised to the point that they don't feel welcome here.

 

Sorry if that sounds like condescending platitudes, but just felt it needed to be said.

 

Flora

 

Hi.

I just wanted to say that noone has pressurised me to resign as a moderator it was a personal decision.

I am not leaving the Forum and intend to stick around. just as one of the regular crew here.Karen.

[Flora]

Hi.

I just wanted to say that noone has pressurised me to resign as a moderator it was a personal decision.

I am not leaving the Forum and intend to stick around. just as one of the regular crew here.Karen.

 

Hi, I wasn't suggesting that anyone had pressured you to resign, I just assumed that you had FELT under pressure to because of your announcement on this thread.

 

I also said that nobody should be made to FEEL pressured to leave the forum.

 

I wasn't actually suggesting that ANYONE had purposely set out to make anyone feel this way.

 

God, it's so bloomin' easy to be misunderstood online.

 

Flora

[kellyanne]

God, it's so bloomin' easy to be misunderstood online.

 

 

 

You're right Flora and I think this is how it all started in the first place

[bid]

Nobody at all should feel pressured or obliged to leave the forum or resign from their position as moderator.

 

I don't really know what has happened over the past few days, but hope nobody feels bullied or pressurised to the point that they don't feel welcome here.

 

Sorry if that sounds like condescending platitudes, but just felt it needed to be said.

 

Flora

 

I am leaving because I don't feel comfortable here anymore.

 

And yes, I'm afraid the issue I have tried (unsuccessfully I feel ) to discuss in this thread has been the straw that broke...

 

Bid

[Bard]

I am leaving because I don't feel comfortable here anymore.

 

And yes, I'm afraid the issue I have tried (unsuccessfully I feel ) to discuss in this thread has been the straw that broke...

 

Bid

 

I don't want you to disappear off the radar and into the night. Would you not maybe consider a little vacation for a bit?

I will really miss Lya and you if you don't come to Greenwich, sparklies a dazzling.

[Kathryn]

I agree, Flora

 

In her thread this morning Lya raised a number of points, people responded from different perspectives and everyone had valid points to make.

 

Now we have all effectively been silenced.

 

I really hesitate to raise this point from Lya's thread, but she expressed the fact that she had lost confidence in the mods.

 

I even wonder if this thread will now be removed

 

Bid

 

Cheers.

 

No conspiracy, I assure you.

 

I'm still really confused as to how this whole thing has blown up completely out of proportion, IMO. I haven't been around here much in the last 24 hours because of work, mainly, but I do know that the original issue was in the process of being dealt with via pm with those DIRECTLY involved in a reasonable and objective way- perhaps not as quickly as some people would have liked, but then we aren't contractually obliged to be here 24/7.

 

I don't see how allowing the whole issue to continue to be aired publicly would actually have helped the situation? All it seems to have done thus far is stirred up bad feeling and caused a lot of confusion among people who had nothing to do with the issue, and are now wondering what the heck is going on.

 

If though, you or anyone is suggesting there's a wider issue to do with the removal of threads and "silencing" people, that's obviously something that needs to be discussed.

 

K x

[bid]

My one point throughout this thread has been about the importance of everyone being able to express their opinion here.

 

In a polite way I disagreed with Karen's decision to remove a thread of Lya's, which included other people's valid opinions.

 

I don't think I have been rude, offensive or abusive in this thread to Karen. Yet within this same thread she resigns as a mod.

 

Whether it was her intention or not, I feel this clearly implies I am responsible for her resignation...because I politely expressed a contrary opinion?

 

If though, you or anyone else is suggesting there's a wider issue to do with the removal of threads and "silencing" people, that's obviously something that needs to be discussed.

 

Well Kathryn, this is exactly what I have been trying to do in this thread, and look at the response from three of the mods (BD, Tally and Karen)

 

Bid

Edited May 8, 2008 by bid

[Flora]

Wish this would all just stop. It's so horrid seeing people who are usually friends having words like this over what is essentially a big misunderstanding. I don't believe there's any conspiracy at all, but maybe some hastily edited/deleted threads and posts. Just wish it could all be sorted out and then everyone can be relaxed and happy with each other; it's impossible on a forum with this size of membership for there not to be a few spats but this isn't even really a spat, it's a hugely inflated misunderstanding.

[Bard]

Wish this would all just stop. It's so horrid seeing people who are usually friends having words like this over what is essentially a big misunderstanding. I don't believe there's any conspiracy at all, but maybe some hastily edited/deleted threads and posts. Just wish it could all be sorted out and then everyone can be relaxed and happy with each other; it's impossible on a forum with this size of membership for there not to be a few spats but this isn't even really a spat, it's a hugely inflated misunderstanding.

 

 

Ditto, ditto ditto.

[mossgrove]

Karen A's decision to stand down as a mod is a decison that Karen has made after due consideration over a period of time, and one that I accept. I am vey grateful for the contribution she has made in her time as a mod.

 

It is not a knee-jerk reaction to a single event and it's best all round not to think of it in that way.

 

Simon

[bid]

Karen A's decision to stand down as a mod is a decison that Karen has made after due consideration over a period of time, and one that I accept. I am vey grateful for the contribution she has made in her time as a mod.

 

It is not a knee-jerk reaction to a single event and it's best all round not to think of it in that way.

 

Simon

 

Why then post her resignation in this thread?

 

Bid

[Kathryn]

My one point throughout this thread has been about the importance of everyone being able to express their opinion here.

 

Including an opinion which includes a personal attack on a named member?

 

In a polite way I disagreed with Karen's decision to remove a thread of Lya's, which included other people's valid opinions.

 

Karen explained why she removed the thread, if it's possible to edit out the comments which break forum rules (see above ), and put a thread back that still makes sense we'll do it.

 

 

Well Kathryn, this is exactly what I have been trying to do in this thread, and look at the response from three of the mods (BD, Tally and Karen)

 

I've looked and I honestly can't see what's wrong in their responses? . A named member was attacked, directly and indirectly, by people on the open forum, over an issue which was already being dealt with via pm. The people doing the attacking were not directly involved in the issue. A thread was removed - it could possibly have been just edited and left - but there was no one else around to discuss it at the time.

 

If people want to talk about the removal of threads generally, freedom of speech, etc I'm up for that and I'm sure the other mods are and would welcome feedback - I'm all for resolving problems openly. But perhaps it should be a separate thread?

 

K x

Edited May 8, 2008 by Kathryn

[Karen A]

Karen A's decision to stand down as a mod is a decison that Karen has made after due consideration over a period of time, and one that I accept. I am vey grateful for the contribution she has made in her time as a mod.

 

It is not a knee-jerk reaction to a single event and it's best all round not to think of it in that way.

 

Simon

 

Thanks Simon.

I wish to be very clear that although I posted on this thread this morning I had been considering standing down for some time.

I am very upsett that anyone might think it was a one off decision made in the heat of the moment....in anger.

Perhaps I should not have posted it here.

I have rather a lot on my plate at the moment. Karen.

[warrenpenalver]

Can people stop all the "im leaving the site because ive been upset" stuff!!

 

Isnt this site here to provide support??

 

Lifes too short for all this arguements.

 

We are all bought together here by ASD in some way and beyond that we are from all walks of life so bound to disagree sometimes.

 

I find it very upsetting that people are becoming so distressed over what seems to be minor issues spiralled out of context and control by miscommunication, and quite frankly its just not worth it argueing like that. People are taking things faaaar tooo seriously!!

 

Cant we all cuddle and make up??

 

:robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie: :robbie:

[Flora]

Thanks Simon.

I wish to be very clear that although I posted on this thread this morning I had been considering standing down for some time.

I am very upsett that anyone might think it was a one off decision made in the heat of the moment....in anger.

Perhaps I should not have posted it here.

I have rather a lot on my plate at the moment. Karen.

 

<'>

 

Flo' XXXX

[Kris]

Blimey! Mountains and molehills.................

 

I think Warren has pretty much summed this up, although if its alright with you I'll skip the cuddling bit.

 

Since I'm the admin I get to have the final word on this (see what a little bit of power can do to a person mwahahahaha)

 

The mods here do a very sensitive and time consuming job. They have to make difficult decisions and know that when moderating they will never be able to please everybody all of the time. If you happen to be the one that isnt pleased then by all means challenge the mods or admins but please consider that PMs might be better than airing the laundry in public. You only have to look at this thread to see the affects of that.

 

Bid >> Karen has not resigned because you challenged her over a modding decision, sorry if you thought that. Nobody wants to see you go but Im sure everyone will accept your decision.

 

Karen >> Next time you resign as a moderator please ensure that you do so in strict accordance with the rules and regulation laid down for such things. (Page 21, para 12, sub section 1a of the Guidelines for Effective Moderating)

 

Baddad >> Whatever happened to the Baddad/Jester double act? I miss those days when everyone was being too silly to have any time to fall out.

 

Everyone take a deep breath, large glass of wine or whisky, think happy thoughts and remember its Friday.

 

And thus it came to pass that the supreme ruler of the forum did close the topic and decreed that his members should go about their daily lives with a loud "MOVE AWAY FROM THE TOPIC. THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE"

 

Kris