hev Report post Posted May 11, 2008 steve came back last wed and is going back today at 6 we have had a lovely time,feel a bit sad today and normally it hasent gone so well so im usually a bit relieved,that sounds awful but i hope you know what i mean school mwant more of an improvement from him next week which we have had a talk nabout,he nodded in all the right places but hopefully he will have taken what ive said in!! at the moment he is obsessed by my ex bro in law,idolises him anyway if steves in town he pops to see him and stays there for a bit,he came home friday and out of the blue said mum im going to stop going down ********* cos even though sometimes ive had half a can of beer down there(i didnt know that)they have been smoking puff down there and although they dont want me to smoke it i dont agree with smoking drugs and people who do it. i was so pleased he said that and thought it was very mature of him,hes normally easily led but im so pleased he knows right from wrong. i text the man and said he wont be going down there no more and if hes seen down there i will have to call the police,told steve this as well,to be fair i dont care what the man does in his own flat,his life as long as steves not involved,as for the beer thing i havent really gone into that with steven,he told me which im glad about and im going to have a little chat with him about that next wkend,he knows i think hes too young,epilepsy etc Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted May 11, 2008 that all sounds really positive Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Well done Hev, its not easy this parenting lark is it, My NT son is 19 next month and god I remember the worry when he was 16/17, girls, staying out, etc, as far as I know he never did drugs, but now he is a lovely lovely boy, well man! but still my boy, but even without the ASD bit, they still put you through hell, myself, I never gave my parents any bother :lol:Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Well done to steve! I hope my two never go in for all that drugs malarkey, all you can do is educate them, and pray!!! Do those of you who are adults on the spectrum or have older offspring on the spectrum feel that having an asd makes someone any more/less likely to follow the crowd in these kinds of ways? Im just wondering, as Cal doesnt seem that bothered about following the crowd at this point.....wonder what adolescence will do??? Esther x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shortcake Report post Posted May 13, 2008 Well done to Steve! x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted May 13, 2008 esther i have always thought that steve having aspergers has made him want to follow the crowd as he wants to impress people and fit in but then he is my oldest and ive no one to compare him with,maybe if he didnt have as he would still be like it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted May 13, 2008 Well done to steve! I hope my two never go in for all that drugs malarkey, all you can do is educate them, and pray!!! Do those of you who are adults on the spectrum or have older offspring on the spectrum feel that having an asd makes someone any more/less likely to follow the crowd in these kinds of ways? Im just wondering, as Cal doesnt seem that bothered about following the crowd at this point.....wonder what adolescence will do??? Esther x I think it depends on the individual. JP is less likely to follow the crowd as he has v puritanical views about drinking, smoking etc. My main concern is that he will unwittingly be led into something he can't cope with, ie someone telling him something is a sweet rather than a drug. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted May 13, 2008 steven sent the ex bro in law a text yesterday saying he doesnt agree with him smoking the stuff,he likes him but hes a wotsit for smoking it and when he gets off it he will start visiting him again Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loobylou2 Report post Posted May 13, 2008 Nice one Steve! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted May 13, 2008 Well done to steve! I hope my two never go in for all that drugs malarkey, all you can do is educate them, and pray!!! Do those of you who are adults on the spectrum or have older offspring on the spectrum feel that having an asd makes someone any more/less likely to follow the crowd in these kinds of ways? Im just wondering, as Cal doesnt seem that bothered about following the crowd at this point.....wonder what adolescence will do??? Esther x I think less. Definitely. But they have to reach a point in understanding where they can make a choice, because sometimes they don't reaslise that the 'crowd' can be getting it wrong. Certainly it's not always the case, but I think quite often our kids are 'morally' quite old-fashioned/staid (a good thing in many ways, but can put them at a disadvantage) once they have reached the point where 'right' and 'wrong' becomes an understandable concept to them... much of the 'iffy' stuff lies in a grey area somewhere between the two, and autistic people tend to dislike greys and prefer absolutes. Hev - a personal observation, so ignore it if you like... While I agree about him not going round the uncle's again etc, i'm not sure mentioning police etc and warning the uncle off was a good move, firstly because of Steve's past 'fascination' with the emergency services but also because outright bans and stuff can be very strong attractants. Think back to when you started smoking/drinking etc... the taboo is what pulled you in... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 13, 2008 (edited) Our eldest DD is like the morality police.......can't abide smoking, swearing etc. She will tell older children she is with not to swear. Don't know if it will last though, hopefully not long because I'm tired of being told off for breaking wind in the privacy of my own home As for youngest DD, well, had a right ole palarva yesterday, because...yes, I know this isn't the same as drugs, but she was forced to eat crusts Her "friend" at school told her she had too, and so poor ole DD forced them down, although she absolutely dispises them. The previous week one of the boys in her class had told her to keep hitting him and to keep doing it harder until thankfully their teacher clocked what was happening, and what she was being encouraged to do. It doesn't half worry me how far it could go if she's told or encouraged to do something she doesn't want to do She is always very upset afterwards, and distraught that her behaviour (as with the hitting incident) is not appropriate. Edited May 13, 2008 by Bagpuss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted May 13, 2008 My lad is def. in the doesn't-follow-the-crowd camp. He has never said a swear word in his life, even though he's heard plenty, even when provoked and in the most storming rage. He was furious with me the other day, ranting and raving and the worst he could muster up was, 'you, you, you, yooooooouuuuuu.........STUPID'!! Haha, I had to try not to laugh! And for him that was strong! Whenever he's heard me utter the odd naughty (usually in the car) he always tells me very primly to stop swearing. He was horrified and scandalized recently when DH offered him a sip of his beer, telling him very sternly that he wasn't old enough to drink and that he might get drunk, gave DH a right ticking off, in fact! He's very against smoking and drugs and I can't see him ever indulging in those either. Mind you, I have told him that if I ever catch him smoking I'll put him over my knee and spank him, whether he's 15 or 50, but you never know I guess. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted May 13, 2008 Hev - a personal observation, so ignore it if you like... : oh allright then if you insist Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 13, 2008 Touche! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted May 13, 2008 Ooh I'm afraid JP swears. But NEVER to intimidate or impress others - its only ever when he's stressed & panicked, like on the high ropes at Center Parcs. What bd said about taboo stuff, did anyone watch Derren Brown on the power of negative suggestion? DON'T press the button or you will electrocute the kitten .... and she just couldnt resist as the idea had been implanted in her head. (The kitten was ok btw) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
