Cariad Report post Posted June 3, 2008 T came in from school *totally* hyper, I'm going to ring them later to see if he'd had his ritalin.. but it got worse until he was saying f***ing get my nintendo you f***ing b***ard, I told him as he was using such foul language he wasn't going to have it. Then total meltdown for 90 minutes with myself being called every name and punched in the back, then the DH came back and he continued on him and spat at him. He then had to hold him on the ground (if anyone has any good holds I could use please can you let me know), he said he couldn't breathe but no pressure was put on him just his arms behind his back to stop him scramming. This went on until 9pm so 5 hours of pure rage, in the end he was put in his room after being sat on the stairs and then held on the floor for trying to smash the hallway light. The DH then had a chat with him, he calmed down then fell asleep instantly. We were so upset, the DH said that he could have handled it better but at the time it was a battle not to be kicked and scrammed and spat at. At one stage it brought it back to me how autistic he is, he said while being held down "Your powers are strong, and mine are weak"..I think I laughed with hysteria as we were so exhausted! Can anyone give any tips? He hasn't done this for a while and it really threw us! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo jones Report post Posted June 3, 2008 hi cariad,in work with me we have to go on training for pbm(positive behaviour management) reactive strategies,,this will teach you the moves you need to use specifically to deal with meltdowns ie if u need to remove person from situation or if person takes themselves to the floor,,lots of different moves to help you plus the main thing is that they ensure safety of everyone,,where i work we use these strategies constantly ie blocking punches,,kicks and so on,,im sure social services can help you or can at least give you advice ,,there is 2 parts to the training: pro active which is about understanding the behaviours and knowing the triggers,,then the reactive which is the above,,,where about in wales are you? im in the sunny side of bridgend ha ha hope this helps you a little,,,oh i work with adults so may be a little different with children,,but they build a package specifically around that persons behaviours..... so should be the same for both,,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted June 3, 2008 Hi Cariad, This was a problem that I remember very clearly with my son, as they would often forget to give him his Ritalin, and this is the expected result. We ended up under the recommendation of the Paediatrician putting him on Concerta instead which is a slow release form of Ritalin, it lasts 10 - 12 hours. My son tried many variations and this was the only slow release one that worked for him. About the meltdown, when the medication is highly likely the cause, but not only just that because school is so stressful, we needed to have a time out plan for my son the minute he walked in the door. The paediatrician said it was like a need for stimming or unwinding, and rather that get all physical and abusive allow him on the xbox for half an hour or more just to chill. If his meds not been administered he was a total short fuse like you explain, and it would take him over an hour to calm down as well as the next dose to start to have any results. We ended up having to take him out of a private school because they refused to take responsibility for his meds. Something he just wasnt capable of doing alone even with a watch that had two time settings to remind him. I would be having words with the teacher about it, it sounds like someone let him down with his meds at school. The meltdown at home was inevitable as he may have been laughed at or rediculed. Some of the kids were cruel, and would say things like oh go and take your psycho pills, they were horrid. So hopefully this will help All the best. <'> <'> Fran x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted June 3, 2008 (edited) Hi, know EXACTLY where you are coming from, our boys are the same age, he often comes in totaly hyper and we walk on eggshells, and end up in meltdown, which like you describe can go on for hours. My ds is bigger and stronger than me, so I remove myself and the 2 younger ones to my room and barracade door and leave him to it. The book about Rages, Meltdowns, and tantrums really helped me, We have had a lot of damage done to the house as we now ignore, its blumming hard but it works, dont say ANYTHING, dont LOOK at them, you are not then feeding their rage, leave well alone and when its over make sure they realise they must pay, perhaps in installments for any damage, this is now working for us, except when he`s out of the house and he goes off on one! You have my sympathy cos it makes you sick with worry and fear, and it can ruin your relationship with them, but us as adults have to somehow regain the control. Enid Edited June 3, 2008 by Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted June 3, 2008 We where not allowed on any restraint courses, as parents its not offered, its not right I feel because anyone else can, but me, I can be kicked and punched and its oright, I have however found other venues that do offer conflict management, and I had some very good advice, J did the same when been restriant said that he couldnt breathe, this is very common as your basically taking all the control away and they do not like it, also its sensory. I have to on very few occations have no choice but to hold him, but he is now too strong for one person to restrain and really restraint should be trained and two people, I have found other techneques that work and basically theres a lot of planning in trying to prevent the rage. A calm area of the home, anger management, relaxation techneques and what really has helped J has a weigted blanket, absaloutly amazed me, J required a lot of restraining because he actually liked the pressure applied. I also got support from a specialist in autism and I reduced verbal requests, used visual signs and discussed rules and options when angry. I also do not restrain anymore, if its getting dangerous I leave him in a room, if he smashes it up, then so be it, I clear it away and when he is calm we start again the anger management, I dont call the police anymore, there not trained enough to understand, and I just deal with his episodes now, which are lots less, and he is beginning to use the stratagies earier reducing the reactions he give. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cariad Report post Posted June 3, 2008 Thanks jo, I'll ask in CAHMS about if they have a programme I can maybe go on Fran you are 100% right! I phoned the school and they said he had had his tablet. I don't believe them but can't prove anything. Today he was calmer nothing like yesterday at all.. which goes to prove it was the lack of meds which made him so out of control. Today he is straight on the nintendo and is calm and lovely to be around. Enid it's so hard, sometimes I get to the point where I dread him getting up in the morning and getting in from school, it takes just something little to set him off. Jsmum, I'm going to look into this weighted blanket I'm sure it'll help with T. It really hurts when you get hit by a 12 year old, when he was smaller I could fend him off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted June 3, 2008 Thanks jo, I'll ask in CAHMS about if they have a programme I can maybe go on Fran you are 100% right! I phoned the school and they said he had had his tablet. I don't believe them but can't prove anything. Today he was calmer nothing like yesterday at all.. which goes to prove it was the lack of meds which made him so out of control. Today he is straight on the nintendo and is calm and lovely to be around. Enid it's so hard, sometimes I get to the point where I dread him getting up in the morning and getting in from school, it takes just something little to set him off. Jsmum, I'm going to look into this weighted blanket I'm sure it'll help with T. It really hurts when you get hit by a 12 year old, when he was smaller I could fend him off! What medication is he on, if he is taking it throw the day like at school, Im wondering if he is getting consous of taking medication in case other children are seeing him been given? it may be that the teachers did give him it too, I have known some children just choose not to actually take it, just a thought. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cariad Report post Posted June 3, 2008 What medication is he on, if he is taking it throw the day like at school, Im wondering if he is getting consous of taking medication in case other children are seeing him been given? it may be that the teachers did give him it too, I have known some children just choose not to actually take it, just a thought. JsMum He has the fast acting one in the morning about 6.30am so he can get dressed and not go manic in the mornings. They then give him the long acting one at 11am in school, the DH thinks maybe they didn't notice if he had swallowed it or not? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo jones Report post Posted June 3, 2008 hi again the course i go on for it is accredited by bild,,as restraint cannot be used it is more about everyone being safe at all times,, the moves are based on karate and self defence moves and can be really helpful in different situations,,a few weeks ago i nearly was attacked by a service user,,lucky i knew what to do and he went into full meltdown but didnt manage to grab me thank god cos i would have ended up in the hosp,,,,,,, knowledge saved me tha day and i could see the trigger ,,,,,,,, hope u get some good realistic advice jo,,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted June 3, 2008 He has the fast acting one in the morning about 6.30am so he can get dressed and not go manic in the mornings. They then give him the long acting one at 11am in school, the DH thinks maybe they didn't notice if he had swallowed it or not? If he has been ok today then it would look like that yesterdays was just not given/taken, keep an eye on it, it could need adjusting, I was going to suggest looking at the long acting, but he already takes it, the fact he s ok today gives you the reasurrance the medication is at the right dose though. Good luck with tomorrow. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted June 3, 2008 yes good luck from me too, bet you feel almost on a high today, yes, I survived another one!!! I can do this I always feel like this, perhaps its just me then when it happens again I think oh god I cant do it anymore, then I post on this forum and feel soo not alone in this, thats the good thing about it. Must make an effort to go to the meetup and meet people in the flesh! Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted June 5, 2008 If I ever tried to restrain my son when he was not given his meds during a meltdown it would only make him 10 times worse. Its best to give them time out with the computer or xbox my doctor calls them the passifier. I imagine I would be dead if I tried to restrain my son. He would feel I am invading his space and go totally psycho. From experience with many meltdowns the puttie saved my sanity and my life. Fran x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happymonday Report post Posted June 5, 2008 I ma not at your stage yet as my DS is only 6 but we have had a yr of traila and error on meds. I don't think t hat I could restrain my son I know i did a few months ago as his meds were not working and he is only a little thing and I found him a struggle. To be honest I am not sure that restraining is the best option. What I mean is does your son have a sound of area or his own room? I have had to cram my kids in together to give my ASD son his own space at least this means that I can tell him to go and sound off upstairs (smash up his one room and then feel sorry!) Does your ds understand why he has to have meds? That is makes him a much nicer person to be arpound? It could just be that he had a rubbish day, maybe something at school had set him off? The main thing is he calmed down, keep up the hard work lol Take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted June 5, 2008 I was shown a restraint technique by staff at one of Cals schools. They werent demonstrating so that I could learn it, more so that I knew what they might do. It wouldn't work with a big kid or an adult, however, as it involved getting them to the floor, kinda hugging them tight so they can't perform a backwrds headbutt, and wrapping your legs round theirs to stop them kicking...... Having said that, restraint merely fuelled the fire with Cal and they dropped the idea rather swiftly, and let him rage in his own wee room. I can't give him his nintendo or PS2 during a meltdown though, he would see that as a victory- mainly as he worked out that at mainstream, if he threw a wobbler, they'd plonk him on the computer! We've not had a big meltdown for a while, touch wood (*frantically caresses own head*) but can definitely sympathise with you! Esther x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
