hazma Report post Posted July 9, 2008 Hi some of you know our situation from previous threads however Ill briefly describe situation:_12 year old boy had problems for quite some time,finally been dx with aspergers and today 2nd dx adhd.School aware of aspergers,we got turned down for assessment LA and ED psych came into school to give them strategies to support him.Things improved slightly last couple weeks,had a great day fri till last lesson.Had call from science teacher very het up and stressed and very snappy with me telling me he had wrecked her lesson and had walked out.Thinking she wanted to discuss what may have happened,how we were going to deal with it ect I asked her a couple of questions,big mistake she snapped she wasnt interested in why he did it just wanted me to know how atrocious his behaviour had been,she practically slammed the phone down after very curt Goodbye.He has detention arranged for tomorow.He had complained another child was sticking his fingers up and she said she didnt see it and he must have been making it up.This is child who has been one of the ones bullying him emotionally and physically for months.Other children said other child didnt do it.My son is very isolated and rarely anyone will stand up for him,plus this other lad is popular.When he walked out of class teacher grabbed him other children were cat calling and trying to inflame situation.I will agree to detention because he needs to find ways to deal with situations like this without freaking out but her attitude astounded me.I want to write a note tomorow and say Im sorry that situation occured but surely the way to limit a repeat performance is to find the triggers and what if anything inflames the situation,How can I put it across in as plain a way as possible without seeming that Im unsympathetic to her position in dealing with disruptive behaviour? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zosmum Report post Posted July 9, 2008 Is this teacher aware of your sons dx, this is an appalling way to treat you both. Do you have dealings with the SENCO at the school? If you do I'd go to her first explaining what has happened and can she please make staff aware of how best to deal with these situations rather than them making them worse Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hazma Report post Posted July 9, 2008 I do have dealings with Senco but I want to respond to this teacher personally,just too stressed to think what to write Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hazma Report post Posted July 9, 2008 P.S Senco not up to much at the minute the LA were not very happy with her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamum Report post Posted July 9, 2008 This precisely why my son will NEVER return to mainstream education if I have anything to do with it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 9, 2008 Hi, When you do write to the teacher, copy it to the SENCO and the LEA officer who dealt with your request for statutory assessment. In fact copy as many people as possible on the letter, head teacher, EP etc. Make the point that dentions are all well and good as a deterrant/consequence to bad behaviour and that you support the school with their disciplinary procedures, but in light of your son's recent dx and the difficulties related to that it is important that reasonable adjustments have been made. Explain to them that if these reasonable adjustments are not made and your son's difficulties/dx are being ignored then they are setting him up to fail and in that scenario he should not be punished for the consequences of no support. I think it's crucial that you find out exactly what happened. You have every right to know this no matter how narked the teacher is! You are not complaining about the detention, you just want to know if your son has an appropriate level of support, and that the school are acknowledging his dx. You also need to ensure that all staff involved with your son are fully aware of his dx and the implications. Flora <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shnoing Report post Posted July 10, 2008 A teacher who thinks a 12-year-old can 'wreck' his/her lesson should revise his/her careers choice. I mean, really! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted July 10, 2008 Jesus she is in the wrong job!!!!! Grgh what is it with teachers!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 10, 2008 (edited) A teacher who thinks a 12-year-old can 'wreck' his/her lesson should revise his/her careers choice. I mean, really! I know what you're saying in that a teacher should be able to maintain discipline and order but some 12 year olds are quite capable of flouting that. Some of them have absolutely no respect for anyone else, teachers included, in fact they think it's their 'right' to do whatever they like and that the adults around them have 'no right' to stop them. Not that I'm suggesting for one minute that this is the case here, I think it seems apparent that this teacher needs to be made aware and understand the deeper issues going on here and needs to learn how to respect the parent by at least curbing her anger and giving a proper explanation of what happened rather than ringing up to rant Flora Edited July 10, 2008 by Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 10, 2008 Some teachers are great, . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted July 10, 2008 (edited) I know what you're saying in that a teacher should be able to maintain discipline and order but some 12 year olds are quite capable of flouting that. Some of them have absolutely no respect for anyone else, teachers included, in fact they think it's their 'right' to do whatever they like and that the adults around them have 'no right' to stop them. Not that I'm suggesting for one minute that this is the case here, I think it seems apparent that this teacher needs to be made aware and understand the deeper issues going on here and needs to learn how to respect the parent by at least curbing her anger and giving a proper explanation of what happened rather than ringing up to rant Flora Exactly my thoughts Flora. And anyone that thinks a child can't wreck a lesson isn't a teacher, at least in this country where the restrictions on appropriate responses are quite clear. I was once offered a rattan by a horrified Pakistani parent who didn't believe I wasn't allowed one. The teacher needs to learn how to differentiate between an ASD child struggling to cope and a naughty child, and the best way is for her to have a calm discussion with the parent to agree the best way to help the child manage and enjoy being in school. Rather than a rant. edited because I can't use this laptop very well and there were lots of capitals in the wrong place. Edited July 10, 2008 by Bard Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
