carrieq Report post Posted July 30, 2008 My only form of support has finally thrown in the towel!! Sorry this is a bit of a woe is me post but indulge me while I am feeling hard done by!! My mum takes ds once a year for a week or so and it is a god send as it is the only break we get from each other during the year and it does us all good. He is away at the moment but I have had frantic, angry and upset phonecalls from my mum and dad as he is very aggressive, destructive, lashing out verbally and physically at them and strangers and breaking property. They haven't been able to take him out because he is like a wild animal and they are scared for him, them and others. They are also really embarassed as his language can be choice. They have said they don't want to come on holiday with us early next year as we had planned as they have found him so difficult and draining. These are the exact reasons I need them to help me. Dh is not much use, too like his son, is going to be working away as of next month so I will not even have the back up of another adult on a day to day basis. I hope they will re think and once he is gone see that if 2 of them found it hard for a short period what it is like full time. They have always said it must be me as he never behaves like I say he does for them, well now they know! Looks like I will have to chase up the social worker, wish me luck!! Carrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted July 30, 2008 Oh god, poor you! like you say perhaps now they will see what you go through. What do you think the social worker is going to do, I have got one now and still no support, there is a repsite centre an hour away, I found out about it! but he is "too challanging" hello, I know that, thats why I need the help!. so still struggling on alone. good luck Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted July 30, 2008 Really sorry to hear that carrie. You cant win can you? If they behave they think you are doing something wrong, if they dont they dont want the hassle! My family were just the same, we did it more or less unaided. Of course they are all soooo proud of him now he's nearly 19 & doing really well Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nic m Report post Posted July 30, 2008 Don't now what to say, but poor you. I know exactly how that feels! Good luck, and i hope your Mum and Dad have a rethink soon. N x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 30, 2008 That's tough. Could they cope with having him for shorter periods of time perhaps? K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted August 1, 2008 Sorry to hear this-know how you feel tho-the only person who will have ds for me is my sister n then it is one night only otherwise it is me 24/7 cos my other half works shifts so aint hardly ere. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted August 1, 2008 Oh my goodness you must feel really isolated with no where to turn <'> Flora x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
carrieq Report post Posted August 1, 2008 Thank you all! I haven't spoken to mum about it, going to let the dust settle and hope for the best, will have to wait and see!! Carrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted August 1, 2008 Thank you all! I haven't spoken to mum about it, going to let the dust settle and hope for the best, will have to wait and see!! Carrie Hope it all works out, Carrie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted August 1, 2008 Sorry to hear about this, Carrie. <'> We're in the same position, unfortunately, so know how you feel. DH's parents for the last couple of years have come and looked after Jay for a few days while me and DH have a few nights away. Well, after a disastrous visit at Xmas, they seem to have 'forgotten' to offer to have him this year. DH doesn't want to put pressure on them by asking so we're assuming that they won't be doing it anymore but we feel very let down. Also, just found out that DH's parents plus his brother and son and his sister and son are all planning to go away on holiday to Spain together in October. Our invitation must have been lost in the post I guess. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted August 1, 2008 That's really hard Carrie. My m and d do help out occasionally (once a yr also!!) with ds 2 but as he becomes stronger I know we wont be able to do this much longer. I really feel for you. You need to be stamping your foot at social services (I know it's hard!) You need and deserve a break. <'> Also to Mel Elun xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted August 3, 2008 carrie hopefully they will have a rethink and still have your son,give it a while to calm down and they may change their minds hope social services help,mine havent Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites