Can anybody please advise me about my grandchild?

[nan]

Hello everybody. I am new to this forum and first would like to say that I am very new to Aspergers/Autism and I don't want to offend anybody by anything I write, so I apologise straight away if I use the wrong expressions or make the wrong assumptions.

 

I am going to write keeping personal details out. My grandchild was born prematurely at 31 weeks and has made very good progress - 'Z' is now just four years old and due to start school in a few months.

 

There have been some concerns in some areas - I'll stick to the most obvious. Fear of loud/sudden noises, either as they happen or in anticipation of. Absolutely obsessed with lightbulbs - the first thing 'Z' did last time he came was replace the bulb in my cooker (!) and is amazingly knowledgeable about types/wattages etc! Wobbly gait, some unusual arm/hand movements - sometimes seems to 'get the wrong end of the stick' with tone of voice (say for instance mine) and completely shuts down. Appears to prefer to play alone.

 

I was pointed in this direction by a friend of a friend, who happens to be a teacher - I found myself reading and reading -

 

My dilemna is this - I know my daughter is aware that there may be some problems ahead, I don't think she has considered Aspergers/Autism, although she works with teenagers and is empathic.

 

Do I voice my concerns?

 

My reasoning is that if we can understand the way 'Z' thinks, we are going to be able to help him. I believe most are diagnosed much later than four- and presume that if we are aware now, then 'Z' will benefit by earlier help if it is needed. I am also very aware that once I have spoken there is no going back. I am finding this very hard.

 

At the moment I am encouraged by what I have read as I believe that 'Z' is very bright but is just wired a bit differently and I want the very best for all my grandchildren.

 

Should I speak out or stay silent for now?

[pearl]

Hi nan & welcome <'>

You sound like a lovely, caring mum & grandparent. I don't know what others will say, but here's what I think: given what you've told us, it wouldnt be at all unreasonable for your grandson to be screened for an ASD.

 

And given that you are his grandmother, & sound very tactful, I dont think it would be inappropriate to voice your concerns to your daughter, especially if she is already getting concerned herself. As you said, if he needs extra help, the earlier the better.

 

I speak from personal experience in this: from toddlerhood my lad was giving cause for concern, and I remember my Dad cutting out a newspaper article and giving it me to read. It was about Fragile X (which can cause autistic-like symptoms). JP didnt have that, but my Dad was on the right track, and he died before we got JP's diagnosis of Aspergers. But I was always glad that he did not dismiss my worries, as so many did, but took them seriously enough to express his own concerns & help me along the path to diagnosis.

 

Let us know how you get on.

[wasuup]

<'>

Hi and welcome to the site

I would mention that you came across this site/or the NAS site and found it very interesting reading about how very intelligent and clever adults and children can have some socialization problems with their peer group and can take some things that are said to them very literally, then offer her the site addresses to look at. Depending on the services & knowledge in peoples PCT areas it can take a very long time to get a diagnosis (or not) and get the assistance or understanding required. The earlier that this is flagged up as a possibility then the better, even if it is later found not to be an issue (your grandson sounds very clever and bright children can have similar features to an AS child).

Good Luck.

[bid]

Everything Pearl said so well!

 

My mum and dad were the only people who believed me/saw the difficulties my son had when he was little and I don't know what I would have done without their support.

 

My son was diagnosed when he was 6 with Dyspraxia, then AS when he was 7...he is now 19, and my lovely dad died two years ago...it turned out he had AS too (so do I, by the way)

 

Good luck and I hope you stay around the forum.

 

Bid

[bikemad]

I can only answer as id feel as the mum if that makes sense n id appreciate you careing so much and noticing n wanting to help. <'>

[nan]

Thanks everyone - you have answered my question - I will speak to my daughter and will tell her about this forum when it is the right time. She is very grounded, and I am sure she will cope very well. She will also want to read everything she can get hold of and I have ordered a couple of books from Amazon, one by Tony Attwood (think I have got his name right) and another written by an Aspergers teenager - I will definitely be staying around this forum - isn't the internet a wonderful thing? x

[Tally]

Hi nan, and welcome to the forum.

 

I would recommend the Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood. If that's not the one you've bought, I would recommend getting it as well. It explains a lot about how people don't always fit the stereotypes.

 

The NAS produce quite a thorough leaflet about Asperger's too. Because it's only a leaflet, it really only focuses on the most common things, and suggests that ALL people with AS are like this, which isn't necessarily so. Despite that though, it might ring a lot of bells with your daughter and encourage her to look further into it.

[bid]

Glad you are going to stick around!

 

Bid

Edited August 11, 2008 by bid

[pookie170]

Hope all goes well Nan, you came across as such an open-minded, caring grandparent that if your daughter is anything like you, I don't think you'll have any problem.

 

Hope to 'see' you around, this lot are a good bunch (if a bit wacky!! that's why I fit in!!) and advice is always in full flow!

 

Esther x

[nan]

Thanks everybody for your input - I will always be around, plenty to read and lots of support too.

 

Can I tell you a little bit about my grandson? (proud nan!) When my grandson was a toddler we started to notice little things that were unusual, such as going into McDonalds and finding that he would toddle around 'eyeing up' the tables, and we could see he was checking that they stood level! He was fascinated by lights, from a very early age, bulbs, wiring, locks - such as the 'pull' of a magnetic lock - mechanical things, like my grandfather clock - until it chimed! He doesn't like sudden, loud noises. Torches, the inside of my dishwasher (wish my husband was that interested in emptying it!) particularly the way the soap retaining door opens and closes - the way water flows from a tap, 'how' a radiator gets hot and where the pipes go. He is exceptionally dexterous, very quick on video games and prints pages of light bulbs off my computer! If we can channel this aptitude that he appears to have he'll do well I'm sure !

 

Well, will speak again soon then x

[NickyB]

Thanks everybody for your input - I will always be around, plenty to read and lots of support too.

 

Can I tell you a little bit about my grandson? (proud nan!) When my grandson was a toddler we started to notice little things that were unusual, such as going into McDonalds and finding that he would toddle around 'eyeing up' the tables, and we could see he was checking that they stood level! He was fascinated by lights, from a very early age, bulbs, wiring, locks - such as the 'pull' of a magnetic lock - mechanical things, like my grandfather clock - until it chimed! He doesn't like sudden, loud noises. Torches, the inside of my dishwasher (wish my husband was that interested in emptying it!) particularly the way the soap retaining door opens and closes - the way water flows from a tap, 'how' a radiator gets hot and where the pipes go. He is exceptionally dexterous, very quick on video games and prints pages of light bulbs off my computer! If we can channel this aptitude that he appears to have he'll do well I'm sure !

 

Well, will speak again soon then x

 

Hi, nan, and welcome. It's lovely to read what you have to say about your grandson - you're obviously very proud

 

I have a 5 year old boy with high-functioning Autism, and he is also a source of immense pride for my family (as is his older brother, who doesn't have an ASD).

The liitle one is obsessed with cars, to the point that he can tell you the make and model of just about any car. He's also brilliant with numbers and reading. This makes it all the more frustrating that he has such difficulty with behaviour and self-expression

My dad says that, no matter what life throws at us, we'll always have the benefit of a caring and understanding family, and that's obviously also the case with you.

 

Nicky <'>

[pearl]

Many of your grandsons interests were shared by my lad when he was little. Specifically, lights (switches in his case) locks, dishwashers - ooh this has brought back memories.

 

Currently its the british coastline, health & safety, & gout!

[nan]

Pearl - British Coast Line sounds good to me! - Health and Safety possibly - not sure about the gout! ! x

[pearl]

No, none of us are sure about the gout!

[kirstie]

Hi Nan,

I think you are making the right decision to talk with your daughter. My boy was diagnosed with Aspergers at 4.5 and i was so grateful to the Nursery staff who actually put me in the right direction. With a Nan like you i'm sure your grandson and Daughter will be just fine!! He sounds like a lovley wee soul. Light switches are our thing at the moment (with my 3 year old, Autism) and my daughter mis assesment for the same is liking switiching the printer off and on off and on!!!