Organising and remembering swimming kit e.t.c

[Bexs]

Help and advice needed please. Son has Aspergers, he has serious problems remembering where he puts lunch box/p.e kit and now he has started year 4 they now have swimming lessons once a week.

 

The problem is he has come home this evening without his swimming kit, when my husband went in to ask son's teacher he was meet with a very unhelpfull teacher (possibly because 2 days ago they had a slight confrontation regarding son not knowing where his school jumper had gone.) Apparently it's ' my son responsibility to look after his swimming kit, and make sure he doesn't forget it!'

 

I'm sorry if i sound ill informed but is been forgetfull, and not been able to organise personal belongings and trait of Aspergers Syndrome.

 

Please help.

[lisa35]

[

yes ,yes and yes! We ve tried all sorts, post its, diaries, you name it

Id be grateful if any one any ideas

we re on third lot of house keys (he is 13),

Lisa

[Bexs]

[

yes ,yes and yes! We ve tried all sorts, post its, diaries, you name it

Id be grateful if any one any ideas

we re on third lot of house keys (he is 13),

Lisa

 

 

I have tried to tell them thousands of times that they need to reinforce things, even suggested they set up some kind of remembering chart e.t.c. I really do get the impression the school thinks he's just alittle bit forgetful and needs to be more responsible.. If we mention his AS we get yes we know he has problem in a very sarcastic ignorant way. The trouble is my sons has cried and got himself very upset because he has lost his swimming kit, and it's horrible to see because his so hard on himself saying things like 'i'm useless e.t.c.

 

Just not sure what steps to take with regards to school??

[chris54]

Hi Bexs

 

Can be.--Yes.

 

I rehears over and over what my son will do regarding PE kit, swimming kit, etc. That is if there is a new situation. Long before we ever thought of AS we know that without this approach things were likely to go walkabout.

 

I get my son to tell my what he has to do regarding kit on the way to school, well I did now he knows the routine and only seldom do things go missing now. We seem to be lucky in that most of the teachers he has had have been helpful with this. And I always make sure that every thing is well labeled, big letters in marker pen, out of sight.

 

I see it from my own experience as I have have trouble keeping track of thing and tend to keep to routine so as to not lose things. If I put something down it will be lost forever.

 

We still sometimes will be walking up the road on the way to school and then think, something wrong, NO RUCKSACK. with everything for the day in it. We are as bad as each other.

 

It would not take to much for the teacher to remind everyone about there kit, lunchbox etc.--"Has everyone got their kit"

 

Chris.

[pearl]

Found This which might be worth printing off & taking in. There are other useful things online if you google aspergers organisational skills. Sounds like they havent grasped its part of his condition.

[chris54]

Hi Lisa

 

For my stepdaughter we put the key on a wooden tag Abbot 9" X 2". After that it didn't go missing again.

 

Chris.

[stressedmumto2]

[

yes ,yes and yes! We ve tried all sorts, post its, diaries, you name it

Id be grateful if any one any ideas

we re on third lot of house keys (he is 13),

Lisa

 

Don't have this problem with my son as his stuff stays in school, thankfully he doesn't have a key yet but Lisa I wonder if perhaps leaving a key somewhere safe outside for him may be better, in a pot or something, of course with that come other worries such as your house getting broken into as these children aren' t exactly discreet, lol <'>

[Kathryn]

Not sure I can advise Bexs -although I do sympathise: see my thread in Off topic.

 

My son has lost two PE bags in three days and he doesn't have AS - just poor organisational skills and a couple of other "interesting" traits.

 

K x

[JsMum]

Organisation, planning, remembering are the three things me and J are still trying to get to grips with and I am just as bad, its hopeless without lists and visual displays, when J was in year 3 he was forgetting every known school item going and when I had paid for three jumpers in a week I aproached the teacher to discuss how Im going bankcrupt in the name of replaments for school uniform and equiptment and I may need to start sending him without a uniform, pe kit and other items, we soon got a rapour because schools like to insist on parents obiding the school uniform rules and the next day on Js peg was a list of items he needed to remember Number one was school JUMPER, Pack lunch, PE Kit, Water bottle, school cap, all in a display table and laminated, it looked really nice, and J wasnt embarrassed at all because it was on his peg so in his personal space, with in a week he started to remember his school items, then we did one at home and I placed one in his bedroom, one in the hall and one more just near the door, just incase we catch the symbols and realise we needed somthing else.

 

Letters and other important items where emailed or delivered to the reception because J never remembered to hand in information and often he missed on special occasions because I simply didnt know about them.

 

The school highly reguard the INDEPENDANT WORKING ethos but if a child has special needs and the O,P,R are impaired as part of that special needs then the school should understand that they need to make resonable adjustments otherwise the organising and planning and remembering problems will just keep the child back and possible wont learn independant working skills.

 

I use Wigdets a computer soft wear that has visual pictures with text, brilliant for higher functioning autism and J now has visual prompts as part of his normal living, J isnt in school but he still needs to learn to orgnise and plan and remember things, especially when we go on day trips or breaks, he does a list that he will need for the train, like cards, psp, colouring book, pens, coat. we plan his day by doing a step by step routines and we have recently for the last 6 months been using spider maps and sequencing tasks this was introduced by a developmental centre and its been amazing the impacts.

 

Sequencing and planning has helped J start to understand the beginning, middle and end, morning, afternoon and evening, monday, tuesday ect.. and now we are introducing time and what time it is when we do things.

 

I have also done research into my own planning and organisation skills and its slowly developing because I am following the advice of the spider maps and sequencing programmes.

 

I would organise a meeting with the senco and the teacher and see if you can get the school to device a IEP around planning, organising, and remembering things, maybe even join a small group that looks at strengthening memory skills, one popular one is placing items on a table, look at them for 30 seconds and then cover it over with a blanket and then get the children to try and remember what was on the table.

 

I am using Js psp and playing mind games as they help increase my memory and I know that DS games have loads of similair memory games such as brain acadamy.

 

It can be tackled and your son can increase his awareness over time but what he needs is support, a plan devising together with you and the school and working together as a team.

 

then one day he might have those important independant working skills and that wonderful thing called responsibility for our own things, what is clear is he hasnt got those skills yet and he needs help developing them.

 

 

JsMum

Edited September 15, 2008 by JsMum

[Kazzen161]

My son has his key on a clip with a long curly plastic chain. It is clipped to his belt hook or blazer pocket zip, so he can use the key without unhooking it.

[JsMum]

[

yes ,yes and yes! We ve tried all sorts, post its, diaries, you name it

Id be grateful if any one any ideas

we re on third lot of house keys (he is 13),

Lisa

the key finder is a good gadget, you whisle and it does a beeping noise so you can hear it, look into one of these,

 

JsMum

[Tally]

Those key clips on a plastic coil are ideal, but you can now get less bulky discs with the key ring attached to string which coils up inside the disc, and retracts when you let it go.

 

I am really good at forgetting things

 

As an adult, I don't have a choice but to be responsible for my own things. I am able to do it because I have found techniques that help, not because I have just been told to be disciplined. I was always leaving things like swimming kits behind in school. It's not so bad after only one night, but they don't tend to smell so good after Half Term!

 

I find that lists help. Even if I have to pop to the shop for three things, I write a list. And then I forget to take the list with me! I find that writing it on a Post-it note and sticking it to the front door helps me to remember it. Then sometimes I go out the back door instead. When I do remember to take it out, it goes in the same pocket every time. This routine makes it easy to find.

 

If I have to take something out, I leave it somewhere I would actually trip over it. That way it is harder to forget. That's OK when leaving the house, but doesn't work so well at work (or in school). I try to leave everything in my locker and I have a routine of going to my locker at the end of work and taking everything out. Although we have coat hooks, I fold my coat up in my locker, because I would forget it otherwise. Does your son have a coat hook or something at school? He could hang his swimming kit over his coat, where he will have to touch it before he can get his coat, and is less likely to forget it. Alternatively, you could send him with a list in his back pocket. If he could get into a routine of checking the list on his way out, he may be able to remember all the things on the list.

[Flora]

Yep, as others have said, it's not a case of saying 'you must be responsible', many kids (and this includes the NT one's) have to be TAUGHT how to organise themselves, but this is particularly true with ASD. I can remember coming home at the end of term once with about 4 layers of clothes on (including about 4 hats!), because the teachers had been through the lost property box and most of it was mine!

 

I've found with my boys that constant reminding eventually gets through. However the school do have to play some part in this!

 

Flora

[SusanF]

Help and advice needed please. Son has Aspergers, he has serious problems remembering where he puts lunch box/p.e kit and now he has started year 4 they now have swimming lessons once a week.

 

The problem is he has come home this evening without his swimming kit, when my husband went in to ask son's teacher he was meet with a very unhelpfull teacher (possibly because 2 days ago they had a slight confrontation regarding son not knowing where his school jumper had gone.) Apparently it's ' my son responsibility to look after his swimming kit, and make sure he doesn't forget it!'

 

I'm sorry if i sound ill informed but is been forgetfull, and not been able to organise personal belongings and trait of Aspergers Syndrome.

 

Please help.

 

 

No solutions, just sympathy. My son is 11 and has just changed school. This entails a 10 mile train journey. In the first 7 days he has lost 3 pens, 2 pencils, one PE sock, the WHOLE of his rugby kit, one school jumper. He has also forgotten/lost 3 pieces of homework. And yesterday he got lost on the train twice on one journey - the first time because he got on a non-stopping train; then, when he had corrected this, he failed to get off the train at the right station because he was immersed in a game on his mobile phone. This morning he proceeded towards the front door, where his rucksack and PE bag sat ready side by side. He picked up the former only and, when asked, twice asserted he had everything he needed. I am tearing my hair out. Am about to type out more lists. Any other suggestions?

 

Susan

[Tally]

Hi Susan,

 

You might need to be more specific. Instead of asking, "have you got everything you need?" you might need to actually mention the PE kit.

[Thompsons]

I can sympathise.. I think I'm gonna try out some of these suggestions. I'm so forgetful. I'm 18 now, so I finally convinced my mum that I'd be fine going shopping. I went.. And came home without my shopping

[something_different]

you really need the schools co-operation in this.

 

he should have his own 'safe' place for his kit, and have a social story that he can look at with his teacher, or ta on the days that he has kit with him.

 

social story should explain where he should put his kit each day. preferably somewhere that will be easy for him to remember it at home time.

 

 

 

soon he should get into a routine if he is reminded often enough and follows the social story each day,

 

also he could have a wee chart for the end of each day that he could check along with a ta, lunch box, pe kit, swimming kit, jacket etc

 

it is really down to the school to sort out though i would say.

[bikemad]

O gawd bugbear of mine this is.....ds is always last dressed n they scare him saying hurry up or the bus l leave so he comes back with half the stuff left behind. <'>