I'm at my wits end

[Wildkat]

I am the proud mother of 3 girls and 1 boy. My second oldest is 11, she was diagnosed before she was 3 with Autism. Since then I have raised her the best I could and the same as her siblings. I have had no contact since the time of her dx with any doctors or social services. Except through the school, yes she is a picky eater, yes she likes to go off on her own, yes she has the tantrums. I have coped with all this and am really proud of her, she has come on so far.

I feel as if I have no right complaining about her, as I know so many have much bigger problems to face, and i'm not looking for sympathy I really don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying all over my keyboard.

She hates her 6 year old sister, and i mean hates. She always has, I hoped, but never really believed, that she'd grow out of it, but its got worse.

She is constantly violent and puts her down all the time. In the 6 years she's had a little sister, she has never called her by her name. Its heartbreaking to watch.

I really don't know what to do. She calls her, her nemisis. Everyone else thinks its funny, its really not. She plots ways for her to die and sometimes I'm scared she will really try.

I'm at the end of my really long tether. I'm sorry for ranting, and know there's no quick fix, but it has helped clear my head a little typing all this.

:wallbash: :wallbash:

Thanks for listening

Kat xx

[NickyB]

Kat

 

I'm afraid I don't have any advice I can offer but wanted to send you lots of these

 

<'> >< <'> >< <'>

[brooke]

Im so sorry your upset Wildkat <'> <'> I have 3 boys, the eldest has asd and he cannot stand his youngest brother, and often calls him his arch enemy He gets so upset/worked up sometimes i wonder what he would do if he got hold of him when he is angry with him. The youngest doesnt help himself though as he aggravates him, which is part of the problem. I also hope they will grow out of it but i know my brothers only started getting on when they didnt live together anymore which is a long time to wait. Im sorry i dont have any advice but i do understand a bit of how your feeling <'> <'>

[trekster]

Hello

 

i went through a stage of hating my sister. i think it was to do with the fact that she had things i couldn't achieve.

 

How do people react when she does something that's not so easy for autistics? such as remembers her manners? or waits her turn? or asks for something?

Does she get praise for things she does that come automatically to other siblings? Does she feel she getting into trouble more than her other siblings.

 

Its nothing to do with being treated the same its to do with being treated according to your needs. i grew up not knowing i was autistic and was shouted at and smacked for every thing i did wrong. It made me not trust my parents. Normalising us tends to make us rebel, normal sucks and we just want to be accepted for who we are.

 

Sounds to me like she could benefit from going gluten and dairy free and having some supplements in her diet. She could have been born with a conduct disorder such as ODD.

[Wildkat]

Thank you all. For the hugs and the understanding.

 

trekster, thanks for the insight, she get praise for everything, but maybe no more than my other 3, but as, in my eyes, she has achieved more, she gets more of it. (This has at times made the others resentful, ie "we don't get a prize for doing that")

I encorage them all to be individuals.

She doesn't eat alot, she smells everything I try to put in her food, I tried slipping a few different tonics in her food and drink. She knows and refuses.

She has never had any kind of medication, even paracetamol, she smells it. (even calpol in strawberry jelly and neurofen in orage jelly)

I'll certainly try the gluten free and dairy free thing. (Can you get dairy free chocolate spread??)

What is ODD? Excuse my ignorance, please.

 

[justine1]

Hi

I have four boys so understand what you are going through.My son with AS (6 yrs) never got on with his brothers but he changed a year ago when I left my husband I think it brought them closer,he still does not get on with my eldest son (9 yrs) and they fight alot,he is extremely close to his three year old brother and the always hug and kiss and play lovely though rough at times!What I have noticed is that when my three year old is not around my 9 yr old and 6 yr old get on much,much better,then as soon as he gets back its mayhem.It is a bit strange to me that this happens I honestly cannot understand it!!So what I was thinking is there any chance you can try leave the other kids with someone for a day then the two of them will be alone maybe it will work maybe not but it might be worth a try.Is your six year old born just after her?The reason is ,my eldest loved being the center of attention then when I had my second son he was really jealous,he would throw stones at him pinch him,all sorts, and I to feared for his safety but he did stop being that rough although I believe he has Alot of resentment towards his brothers.I believe when they are adults things may get better.My eldest brother used to beat me constantly and even broke my nose when I was 9 I felt hatred for him then now I cant go three days without calling him and we see each other two times in a month, he is the best!

Good luck.

[trekster]

Thank you all. For the hugs and the understanding.

 

trekster, thanks for the insight, she get praise for everything, but maybe no more than my other 3, but as, in my eyes, she has achieved more, she gets more of it. (This has at times made the others resentful, ie "we don't get a prize for doing that")

 

They can get praise for things they do right with their daughter. Yes my sisters been resentful of me as well.

I encourage them all to be individuals.

 

Thats a good idea then adjustments for what they can and cant do are easier to implement. If you can spend quality time with each child in turn doing something that kid does. It might help with the resentfulness.

She doesn't eat alot, she smells everything I try to put in her food, I tried slipping a few different tonics in her food and drink. She knows and refuses.

She has never had any kind of medication, even paracetamol, she smells it. (even calpol in strawberry jelly and neurofen in orange jelly)

 

You could ask for an OT referral for her severe sensory issues. Sounds like she has a strong gag reflex so her body thinks shes going to choke which is why she spits out the medicine.

I'll certainly try the gluten free and dairy free thing. (Can you get dairy free chocolate spread??)

 

Yes and to me it tastes the same, ask for "gluten free" section of your local supermarket. Sainsburys are the best, followed by Morrisons (get my easter eggs from them), then tescos. See the diets section of this site so you can contact parents who are on it. Im on it and resisted the stuff for 10 years because i couldn't face it.

What is ODD? Excuse my ignorance, please.

 

Oppositional Defiance Disorder,

 

* Frequent and/or extreme temper tantrums

* Tendency to be easily annoyed by others

* Blatant refusal to comply with household or school rules

* Takes argumentative stance with adults

* Rude, uncooperative and confrontational attitude

* Use of mean-spirited language when upset

* Deliberate attempts to upset and annoy others

* Frequent bursts of anger or resentful attitude

* Tendency to place blame on others

* Outward and belligerent defiance

* Revengeful attitude

 

http://www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk/Oppositiona...isorderODD.html

 

Hard to tell what is an autisitc meltdown and what is ODD though. i'm no expert but i know a parent with an ODD kid so i will ask him for further information if you are still stuck.

 

Alexis

 

PS was worried you would be angry at me for the way i replied.

 

[trekster]

http://www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk/free-reward...-behaviour.html

 

Free rewards for good behaviour, and that site looks really good.

[trekster]

i wouldn't call it jealously of another sibling i would call it a change of routine. Think about it all of a sudden your autistic kids routines are changed because there's another baby in the house.

[justine1]

i wouldn't call it jealously of another sibling i would call it a change of routine. Think about it all of a sudden your autistic kids routines are changed because there's another baby in the house.

Hi sorry,it was me who made the comment on jealousy and the son I was refering to is non AS so in my opinion he is jealous and has jealous tendencies jealousy is a feeling after all like being sad etc.Sorry dont mean to offend anyone just giving my opinion!

[justine1]

Trekster

Thank you for that info on ODD I also have not heard of it,after my second son (6)was diagnosed I read alot of stories on families with more than one AS child,I suspect my eldest son has something but dont think its AS because he has none of the usual trits unlike my 6 yr old and I think my three year old has some AS traits,so now I have heard about ODD sounds like my eldest son so very much!He has no friends and always seeks peoples approval and praise,he constantly thinks everyone dislikes him,even his family,he also seems not to listen at times but not as much as my AS son (Sam) He is extremely intelligent and has been doing work three years above his year group since he started school,I dont want to put a label on him and I am worried I am looking for excuses for my childrens behaviour,though generally they are well behaved lovely boys,how will I take the other two to the GP to get assesment I feel so reluctant!

[trekster]

Trekster

Thank you for that info on ODD I also have not heard of it, after my second son (6) was diagnosed I read a lot of stories on families with more than one AS child, I suspect my eldest son has something but don't think its AS because he has none of the usual traits unlike my 6 yr old and I think my three year old has some AS traits, so now I have heard about ODD sounds like my eldest son so very much! He has no friends and always seeks peoples approval and praise, he constantly thinks everyone dislikes him, even his family, he also seems not to listen at times but not as much as my AS son (Sam). He is extremely intelligent and has been doing work three years above his year group since he started school, I don't want to put a label on him and I am worried I am looking for excuses for my children's behaviour, though generally they are well behaved lovely boys, how will I take the other two to the GP to get assessment I feel so reluctant!

 

it just sounded like OP kid. If hes not obsessive or literal he could be ADHD. There are 6 forms of ADHD according to one site

 

What are these different types of ADHD?

 

* "Inattentive": Just like Winnie the Pooh

* "Classic Hyperactive": Tiggers like to bounce...

* "Over-Focused": Rabbit tends his garden

* "With Anxiety": Piglet is nervous and worries...

* "With Depression": Eeyore says, "Thanks for noticing me..."

 

http://newideas.net/adhd/different-types-adhd i guess you need to keep an eye on his school reports and see if the symptoms of ODD/ADHD come up a lot.

 

Alexis

 

[Kazzen161]

I think there are some things that are not acceptable. Being violent to or saying horrible things about her sister are not acceptable. If other people think it is funny, they are rewarding her for doing it and making it acceptable.

 

Perhaps you should forewarn everyone that they must not accept it, they must state that it is not acceptable. If I were you I would clearly state that it is not acceptable and "punish" her when she is violent/horrible to her (eg: withdraw your attention from her and give it to her sister, or send her to her room/stairs). Get her to apologise to her sister if at all possible. At the same time, make sure you do things with just the two of them (especially things that she likes doing). Give lots of praise for things that she can do to help her sister during this time. Overdo the praise anytime she is even vaguely nice to her sister. (Have you ever seen Supernanny on TV? She often deals with situations like this).

 

You also need to make sure her sister does not do things that wind her up. That is not acceptable either.

 

You can't make her LIKE her sister (though there are things you can do to help), but you can make sure she knows what behaviour is unacceptable.

 

You will probably find that her eldest sister makes allowances for her; that she makes allowances for her younger brother (as he is so young and a boy), but because she is closer in age, she clashes most with that sister.

 

I have three boys - two are twins and two have AS, so we have had a lot of "it's not fair". I always say they get rewards for the things that they find hard - so it is not the same for each of them.

[Suze]

just a quick reply , and wanted to echo kazzens post, I take a zero tolerance with things like this.My son in the past has been extremely aggressive, nasty rude to his siblings and has always been told it is wrong and an appropriate punishment has been given.As it has ,when the younger ones have done the same to him or each other.,

[Cat]

Totally agree with Kazzen and Suze here. Although it is perfectly acceptable to make reasonable adjustments for anyone with a disability it is totally unacceptable to reinforce, tolerate or allow this kind of behaviour. There is no way at all that I would allow any of my children to be referred to as a nemesis. If this continues goodness only knows what being referred to as ‘her nemesis’ is going to do to your youngest daughter.

 

I have had this and some. I have two autistic sons, both of whom I love dearly, the elder of the two never liked or got on with my youngest. It got to the point that I could not leave them alone in a room together. So I did not. As he got older my eldest’s levels of aggression really did get worse and I was really scared about what my eldest might do to his younger brother. I had never encouraged my eldest’s behaviour and I had always left him in no doubt that I was not happy about the way in which he was/treated his younger brother. I am aware that autistic children often do not like babies and younger children because they are noisy and unpredictable. I made allowances for this but no matter what my youngest did or said as he got older, his elder brother found it objectionable and I frankly found that objectionable. My youngest had his own bag of issues and I was not having those issues made worse by my eldest and it was no way to live. I really stood up to my eldest and left him in no doubt that his attitude towards his brother was not going to continue, to the point that the moment he started to say something that I knew was going to be insulting he was told to leave the room. I made it clear that if our youngest was annoying him that he had a room and he was to stay in it. OK so that meant that I was isolating him from the rest of the family but I was past caring about that. My eldest always felt that he was fully entitled to say or do what he wanted to his brother and that it was OK. It was not. I started sanctioning him and once we started on our zero tolerance regimes we stuck with it. We had some massive meltdowns but never backed down.

I would certainly have a word with everyone who thinks that it is amusing to her your younger daughter referred to as a nemesis. My Mother used to make excuses for my eldest or laugh and say that he did not mean what he was saying about his brother. He did. I told my Mum that she either supported me of she stopped seeing my eldest until I had stamped his unwanted behaviour out. My Mum chose to support me and that really did help.

 

I made a point of spending quality time with both of my sons but I did increase the amount of time I spent with my youngest and made it clear to him that I was not going to have him being treated in such a terrible way by his brother. Even though my youngest is autistic he was fully aware of what was happening in our house. He is 12 now and we often talk about the way things used to be with the emphasis on ‘used to be’. The good news is that we got there in the end but it did take a long time and we are talking years as opposed to months but we never took our foot off the pedal once we made the decision that things had to change. My eldest is 22 now and even admits to loving his younger brother now. He can still be domineering but not just with our youngest with all of us and I do accept that in part that is part of his character; however my son is fully aware that he is not the boss in this house and never will be.

 

Cat

Edited October 10, 2009 by Cat

[Wildkat]

They can get praise for things they do right with their daughter. Yes my sisters been resentful of me as well.

 

Thats a good idea then adjustments for what they can and cant do are easier to implement. If you can spend quality time with each child in turn doing something that kid does. It might help with the resentfulness.

 

You could ask for an OT referral for her severe sensory issues. Sounds like she has a strong gag reflex so her body thinks shes going to choke which is why she spits out the medicine.

 

Yes and to me it tastes the same, ask for "gluten free" section of your local supermarket. Sainsburys are the best, followed by Morrisons (get my easter eggs from them), then tescos. See the diets section of this site so you can contact parents who are on it. Im on it and resisted the stuff for 10 years because i couldn't face it.

 

Oppositional Defiance Disorder,

 

* Frequent and/or extreme temper tantrums

* Tendency to be easily annoyed by others

* Blatant refusal to comply with household or school rules

* Takes argumentative stance with adults

* Rude, uncooperative and confrontational attitude

* Use of mean-spirited language when upset

* Deliberate attempts to upset and annoy others

* Frequent bursts of anger or resentful attitude

* Tendency to place blame on others

* Outward and belligerent defiance

* Revengeful attitude

 

http://www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk/Oppositiona...isorderODD.html

 

Hard to tell what is an autisitc meltdown and what is ODD though. i'm no expert but i know a parent with an ODD kid so i will ask him for further information if you are still stuck.

 

Alexis

 

PS was worried you would be angry at me for the way i replied.

Have had a look at ODD and feel it may be appropriate, I'll go to my GP this week and see about getting a referal, my GP is great, really listens to me, knows I research eveything and trusts me to make informed choices, I then trust him to make informed choices too.

 

it just sounded like OP kid. If hes not obsessive or literal he could be ADHD. There are 6 forms of ADHD according to one site

 

What are these different types of ADHD?

 

* "Inattentive": Just like Winnie the Pooh

* "Classic Hyperactive": Tiggers like to bounce...

* "Over-Focused": Rabbit tends his garden

* "With Anxiety": Piglet is nervous and worries...

* "With Depression": Eeyore says, "Thanks for noticing me..."

 

http://newideas.net/adhd/different-types-adhd i guess you need to keep an eye on his school reports and see if the symptoms of ODD/ADHD come up a lot.

 

Alexis

She seems to, not have one of those characteristics, but all of them on different days. They are great comaprisons. Thank you.

 

I think there are some things that are not acceptable. Being violent to or saying horrible things about her sister are not acceptable. If other people think it is funny, they are rewarding her for doing it and making it acceptable.

 

Perhaps you should forewarn everyone that they must not accept it, they must state that it is not acceptable. If I were you I would clearly state that it is not acceptable and "punish" her when she is violent/horrible to her (eg: withdraw your attention from her and give it to her sister, or send her to her room/stairs). Get her to apologise to her sister if at all possible. At the same time, make sure you do things with just the two of them (especially things that she likes doing). Give lots of praise for things that she can do to help her sister during this time. Overdo the praise anytime she is even vaguely nice to her sister. (Have you ever seen Supernanny on TV? She often deals with situations like this).

 

You also need to make sure her sister does not do things that wind her up. That is not acceptable either.

 

You can't make her LIKE her sister (though there are things you can do to help), but you can make sure she knows what behaviour is unacceptable.

 

You will probably find that her eldest sister makes allowances for her; that she makes allowances for her younger brother (as he is so young and a boy), but because she is closer in age, she clashes most with that sister.

 

I have three boys - two are twins and two have AS, so we have had a lot of "it's not fair". I always say they get rewards for the things that they find hard - so it is not the same for each of them.

I get "It's not fair" alot, from my elsest. Even after letting her read this, to try to give her a little insight into how i'm feeling and how much of a muddle my own head is in... She still thinks "It's still not fair".

She knows it is unaccepatble, I try to get that through to her on a daily basis. She canot hurt someone like that, but it doesn;t do any good. I eel like i'm away over my head in this one.

 

 

Totally agree with Kazzen and Suze here. Although it is perfectly acceptable to make reasonable adjustments for anyone with a disability it is totally unacceptable to reinforce, tolerate or allow this kind of behaviour. There is no way at all that I would allow any of my children to be referred to as a nemesis. If this continues goodness only knows what being referred to as ‘her nemesis’ is going to do to your youngest daughter.

 

I have had this and some. I have two autistic sons, both of whom I love dearly, the elder of the two never liked or got on with my youngest. It got to the point that I could not leave them alone in a room together. So I did not. As he got older my eldest’s levels of aggression really did get worse and I was really scared about what my eldest might do to his younger brother. I had never encouraged my eldest’s behaviour and I had always left him in no doubt that I was not happy about the way in which he was/treated his younger brother. I am aware that autistic children often do not like babies and younger children because they are noisy and unpredictable. I made allowances for this but no matter what my youngest did or said as he got older, his elder brother found it objectionable and I frankly found that objectionable. My youngest had his own bag of issues and I was not having those issues made worse by my eldest and it was no way to live. I really stood up to my eldest and left him in no doubt that his attitude towards his brother was not going to continue, to the point that the moment he started to say something that I knew was going to be insulting he was told to leave the room. I made it clear that if our youngest was annoying him that he had a room and he was to stay in it. OK so that meant that I was isolating him from the rest of the family but I was past caring about that. My eldest always felt that he was fully entitled to say or do what he wanted to his brother and that it was OK. It was not. I started sanctioning him and once we started on our zero tolerance regimes we stuck with it. We had some massive meltdowns but never backed down.

I would certainly have a word with everyone who thinks that it is amusing to her your younger daughter referred to as a nemesis. My Mother used to make excuses for my eldest or laugh and say that he did not mean what he was saying about his brother. He did. I told my Mum that she either supported me of she stopped seeing my eldest until I had stamped his unwanted behaviour out. My Mum chose to support me and that really did help.

 

I made a point of spending quality time with both of my sons but I did increase the amount of time I spent with my youngest and made it clear to him that I was not going to have him being treated in such a terrible way by his brother. Even though my youngest is autistic he was fully aware of what was happening in our house. He is 12 now and we often talk about the way things used to be with the emphasis on ‘used to be’. The good news is that we got there in the end but it did take a long time and we are talking years as opposed to months but we never took our foot off the pedal once we made the decision that things had to change. My eldest is 22 now and even admits to loving his younger brother now. He can still be domineering but not just with our youngest with all of us and I do accept that in part that is part of his character; however my son is fully aware that he is not the boss in this house and never will be.

 

Cat

 

Thanks for sharing, I feel i've tried everything, but there must be something I haven't tried.

Punishments don't seem to work with her, rewards work slightly better so I tend to stick with them, but every now and then it all gets too much and I can't ignore behavior lie this. I love them all so much and it hurts to see one of my kids hurting and belittling the other.

She sometimes has moments of clarity, were she listens and agrees with my side of the arguement. But as soon as she's back with her sister, it all goes horribly wrong.

 

Its my Mum more than anyone, she makes too many allowances, treats it like its ok an d my wee girl will just have to toughen up.

For this reason my Mum doesn't look after them anymore, I need someone to stand ehind me, not stand against me.

But then, Mum not having the kids anymore has really hurt too, as she is the only person that has ever looked after them. So I now get no breaks from them, and the tension does mount in the house.

It also means Mass punishment, as my eldest calls it. lol. If we were going somewhere, ie, the park or butterfly house or somewhere. And S goes off on one at her sster, I say, No park. But its no park for everyone, not just her, so not really effective.

 

She is going gluten and ceasien free as of tomorrow, it'll be interesting to see how this affects her.

I'm also putting my son on the same diet as although he only has very few, he has a couple of the same traits. Nothing solid enough for dx, but its there, the tantrums, the sorting, the only eating a certain amount of foods. He would pas the test (can't remember the name of it, but the one where he interacts with a person who asks set questions, the one with the teapot and "show me" questions. He's a strange one, starts nursery tomorrow, we'll see how he goes.

 

 

Thank you all for your posts, they have given me alot to think about, but I know that its not just my wee girl now, and that at least is some comfort.

 

Kat xx

[trekster]

If she appears to get worse on the diet it is the withdrawal stage. Keep us updated in the "diet and vitamins" section so we can help you through this.

Some parents have to remove msg and aspartame as well. Dont forget to take all of this (gluten, casein etc) out of everything she comes into contact with, whether it be kitchen cleaner (as she eats off the worktop after using it) or shampoo it can still affect them.

 

Its possible your kids will at 1st refuse the food put in front of them, persevere and its not a reflection on you just their addiction cravings happening.

Im wondering how you are going to manage with requesting it happens at the school as well. i hope you get an understanding response from the school.

If you like we can look at what your kids are eating and suggest some alternatives?

 

Good luck and remember you are a good mother with very challenging kids to bring up, not your fault but you can be part of the solution.

 

Alexis

[Wildkat]

If she appears to get worse on the diet it is the withdrawal stage. Keep us updated in the "diet and vitamins" section so we can help you through this.

Some parents have to remove msg and aspartame as well. Dont forget to take all of this (gluten, casein etc) out of everything she comes into contact with, whether it be kitchen cleaner (as she eats off the worktop after using it) or shampoo it can still affect them.

 

Its possible your kids will at 1st refuse the food put in front of them, persevere and its not a reflection on you just their addiction cravings happening.

Im wondering how you are going to manage with requesting it happens at the school as well. i hope you get an understanding response from the school.

If you like we can look at what your kids are eating and suggest some alternatives?

 

Good luck and remember you are a good mother with very challenging kids to bring up, not your fault but you can be part of the solution.

 

Alexis

 

School won't be a problem, packed lunch, with, bottle of water, gluten free bread and ham sandwhiches or chocolate spread ( dairy free) and a few peices of fruit. She has always wanted packed lunches anyway, and this would be all she's take. She doesn't eat chrisps or bars.

 

Home, thas will be fun. Her usual dinner, micro chips and chicken dippers. (apostrophes she calls them) No other chip or nugget will do. The odd time she'll have sausage, burger or fish finger. All of these i have just bought from the "free from" range at tesco. Going to sainsburys tomorrow to see what they have.

She sometimes eats home made chips and mashed potatoes so happy days.

I took all chemicals and tin foils out of my house a few years back, I make my own cleaners for the house. Never thought of shampoo, will look into it now.

Will also call into holland and barratt tomorrow to see about supplements.

 

Will keep you posted week by week and see how we go.

At least it has given me something positive to do, I felt really helpless the other day, when I started this thread.

You have all given me food for thought and alot of help.

Thank you all. <'> >< <'>

 

[Cat]

School won't be a problem, packed lunch, with, bottle of water, gluten free bread and ham sandwhiches or chocolate spread ( dairy free) and a few peices of fruit. She has always wanted packed lunches anyway, and this would be all she's take. She doesn't eat chrisps or bars.

 

Home, thas will be fun. Her usual dinner, micro chips and chicken dippers. (apostrophes she calls them) No other chip or nugget will do. The odd time she'll have sausage, burger or fish finger. All of these i have just bought from the "free from" range at tesco. Going to sainsburys tomorrow to see what they have.

She sometimes eats home made chips and mashed potatoes so happy days.

I took all chemicals and tin foils out of my house a few years back, I make my own cleaners for the house. Never thought of shampoo, will look into it now.

Will also call into holland and barratt tomorrow to see about supplements.

 

Will keep you posted week by week and see how we go.

At least it has given me something positive to do, I felt really helpless the other day, when I started this thread.

You have all given me food for thought and alot of help.

Thank you all. <'> >< <'>

 

Sorry to jump in here but I would want to be sure that removing gluten and casein was playing it's part here before I embarked on the diet. It was not in my son' case. I know that it can be a BIG factor for some children but not for others and the fall out can be very hard going - been that way to. You can have a test done by Sunderland Uni to see if removing the gluten and casein is going to have any affect. It was Sunderland Uni who came up with the diet which is called the Sunderland Protocal. You can read all about it here http://www.espa-research.org.uk/onlineresearch.html - it might be worth reading before you jump in with both feet. The guy who actually came up with this Paul Shattock was the person who told me to think before diving head first in. Type Sunderland Protocol into a search engine and you will find the PDF from which the following quote is taken or pm me and I will forward it to you.

 

This is a quote from the man himself

Before you start -

1. Read and understand;

2. Obtain professional support;

3. Consider known conditions -

Coeliac Disease and amino-acids;

4. Take a good, balanced,(GF/CF)

vitamin and mineral supplement.

 

Cat

 

 

 

 

Edited October 11, 2009 by Cat

[Jannih]

I really don't know what to do. She calls her, her nemisis.

 

 

Brings back memories of my sister No.4, who was/is autistic, who would always accuse me for everything that went wrong in her life. Inevitably, I would be blamed for so may things.

 

One day my mum sent her to stay for a weekend with an aunt. Sister No.4 fell over in the hallway of Auntie's house, crying, "Jannih did it". Auntie said "Jannih couldn't have done it, she isn't here." My aunt told my mum and after that I was never blamed again ! You can bet your life though, I was beginning to feel rather victimised.

 

Praise your daughter when she is nice to her sister. That is the only advice I can think of at this moment in time.

 

 

[trekster]

School won't be a problem, packed lunch, with, bottle of water, gluten free bread and ham sandwhiches or chocolate spread ( dairy free) and a few peices of fruit. She has always wanted packed lunches anyway, and this would be all she's take. She doesn't eat chrisps or bars.

 

Home, thas will be fun. Her usual dinner, micro chips and chicken dippers. (apostrophes she calls them) No other chip or nugget will do. The odd time she'll have sausage, burger or fish finger. All of these i have just bought from the "free from" range at tesco. Going to sainsburys tomorrow to see what they have.

She sometimes eats home made chips and mashed potatoes so happy days.

I took all chemicals and tin foils out of my house a few years back, I make my own cleaners for the house. Never thought of shampoo, will look into it now.

Will also call into holland and barratt tomorrow to see about supplements.

 

Will keep you posted week by week and see how we go.

At least it has given me something positive to do, I felt really helpless the other day, when I started this thread.

You have all given me food for thought and alot of help.

Thank you all. <'> >< <'>

 

Any chance you could post some of those recipes on here? The household items i mean.

 

[trekster]

School won't be a problem, packed lunch, with, bottle of water, gluten free bread and ham sandwhiches or chocolate spread ( dairy free) and a few peices of fruit. She has always wanted packed lunches anyway, and this would be all she's take. She doesn't eat chrisps or bars.

 

Home, thas will be fun. Her usual dinner, micro chips and chicken dippers. (apostrophes she calls them) No other chip or nugget will do. The odd time she'll have sausage, burger or fish finger. All of these i have just bought from the "free from" range at tesco. Going to sainsburys tomorrow to see what they have.

She sometimes eats home made chips and mashed potatoes so happy days.

I took all chemicals and tin foils out of my house a few years back, I make my own cleaners for the house. Never thought of shampoo, will look into it now.

Will also call into holland and barratt tomorrow to see about supplements.

 

Will keep you posted week by week and see how we go.

At least it has given me something positive to do, I felt really helpless the other day, when I started this thread.

You have all given me food for thought and alot of help.

Thank you all. <'> >< <'>

 

Any chance you could post some of those recipes on here? The household items i mean.

 

[trekster]

Hello Cat

 

IME the only real test is the diet itself. Why pay money for a test that could go wrong when you can just try it anyway? i had to attempt the diet twice, 1st i went gf/cf the 2nd time i went msg/cf/gf/benzoatef/aspartamef. Both attempts were with supplements and i was more successful the 2nd time round. im a mod on a yahoo recipe list (mostly american) and that list kept me going until the aia cookbook arrived.

 

There are a few books on the subject one aimed at autistics attempting the diet another aimed at parents and another very techie book aimed at anyone who wishes to treat autism. There are also many recipe books.

 

Im just really passionate about this, so passionate in fact that my final literature review was on the subject of "diet and autism: is there a link?"

 

Alexis