Allowing self harm - help and strategies

[jb1964]

Hi,

 

My daughter was referred to CAMHS last Nov following depression, massive anxieties and panic attacks which also resulted in aggression. The anxieties were all based around her exams/final year and she was supposed to receive therapy to help her overcome these in a block before the run up to her exams. Unfortunately the CPN cancelled three fortnightly appt’s in a row which meant she wasn’t actually seen in the six week period before her exams and they then made the next appt. on the morning of one of her exams – which we subsequently cancelled as the OT didn’t think it was a good idea as my daughter was getting extremely upset at the thought of it.

 

Following from that the psych. started her on anti-depressants and arranged for a different CPN to see her – who has seen my daughter twice including yesterday at home.

 

Neither the psych. or the new CPN have seen the ‘real’ side to my daughter – they never manage to engage her in a conversation where she will open up (the psych. is not the one who diagnosed her) – she is only ever defensive and argumentative towards them – they have not seen the sad, lonely girl who is suffering and begging us to help her to stop hurting herself/others.

 

During the CPN’s visit yesterday she informed us that our daughters self harming and aggression is because we have allowed her to use this as a coping strategy for when she gets frustrated or angry and that we need to find an incentive and other strategies for her to use – she also told my daughter that her behaviour was of a child much younger than her age and she was using emotional blackmail against us.

 

We told her that self harming and aggression have always been issues for my daughter and we don’t know how to help her and she told us to use minimal words, walk away and disengage from her when she starts any of this behaviour and put a sign on the door saying I will speak to you in 5mins when you’ve calmed down – she also suggested seeing how other parents cope for tips…….don’t know why I didn’t think to try any of that already!!

 

As she was leaving she told us to contact the NAS and that she’ll speak to the psych. tomorrow – we have an appointment with her next week.

 

I have gone on the NAS site this morning for help but don’t really know where to start – any interventions or therapy just give an outline – most being for young children and the courses are usually not close to us – I can’t seem to think straight to even know what I’m supposed to do.

 

I’ve also followed every topic on this site regarding self harm and aggression but not come across a miracle strategy yet – if someone knows this can they please, please post their tip as I cannot live with this terrible guilt I now feel from letting my daughter down and I don’t know how to help her.

 

Take care,

Jb

 

[jb1964]

Sorry - if someone can move this to another board for me (help and advice) posted in education by mistake.

 

Apologies again,

Jb x

Edited November 10, 2009 by jb1964

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My son is nearly 8 and has has a tendency to self harm. Sadly, as in your case, this has never really been taken seriously.

 

I personally feel that it's so much easier for the likes of a CPN that likely has very little practical experience of this to put the onus on the parents. I think reading about it in a textbook is one thing, dealing with it, is quite another.

 

Just last week, my son tore at his foot with his nails because he was upset causing a 3.5 inch bleeding wound (not just a scratch). Because hubby gave him steak pie, he later applied tremendous force using his fists in both eyes. In neither instance, did I leapt up and panic or demand that he stop. Instead, I informed him that I could see he was upset, but hurting himself wasn't the right way to change things. My sister has a visual impairment and I explained how difficult life can be when you can't see properly - reading, playing with toys, writing, using the computer, etc. Thankfully, he stopped on this occasion, but it's not always that easy.

 

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone - and you shouldn't feel guilty or like you're letting your daughter down. This is an incredibly difficult situation to deal with day-in day-out.

 

Might be worth contacting Youngs Mind. I found them to be very helpful to a point. They can arrange for your to speak to a professional over the phone for up to 50 mins. I should make it clear that they cannot give diagnoses, etc, but they can offer general advice.

 

Caroline.

[jb1964]

Thank you Caroline - I will look up the contact info you gave.

 

I just feel so utterly useless and helpless. I've known for quite some time that she's using it as a coping strategy I just didn't realise I was such a cr*p mum in allowing it - and feel such a failure because I don't know how to stop it and make her happy.

 

Take care and hope your son finds a different way to cope soon.

 

Jb x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[dee23]

Hi Jb <'>

 

I am afraid i can not offer constructive advice, as i have never had to deal with self harm in my child - i have experienced my partner self-harm, due to massive anxiety and panic, and can barely imagine what you must go through seeing your child do the same <'>

 

I wanted to say that reading your post, you do not seem a c*** mum to me - you seem like a brave and resourceful mum, who is trying to cope with a very difficult situation by trying to find and deal with the reasons for your DDs behaviour, instead of turning the behaviour itself into a battleground. This is a far from easy approach for you to take, and you have my utmost respect, as a fellow parent, but also as someone who had a very stormy time through adolescence, and could have done with someone, anyone, who was prepared to see beyond the outward "challenging" behaviour, to the real girl underneath..... Please try not to feel guilty, you are doing your best.

 

love

D X <'> <'>

[lisac]

Jb just have to say quickly, you are not a ###### mum, the opposite in fact . If there was a way of stopping her , believe me, you would know about it . If you find a solution, please bottle it and sell it , x

[Kathryn]

During the CPN’s visit yesterday she informed us that our daughters self harming and aggression is because we have allowed her to use this as a coping strategy for when she gets frustrated or angry and that we need to find an incentive and other strategies for her to use – she also told my daughter that her behaviour was of a child much younger than her age and she was using emotional blackmail against us.

 

She may be right about finding strategies, but it's an unhelpful choice of words in my opinion implying that some deficiency in parenting has caused the self harm. You and your daughter need support, not a lecture.

 

My daughter self harmed in her mid teens on and off and it was tough to cope with so I really sympathise with you. I wish I could share something that I did but to be honest I can't think of anything concrete - we just rode it out and tried not to panic (not always successfully). Antidepressants and psychiatric support helped with the worst of the anxiety, but I think it only really stopped when her education situation was sorted out. Her self esteem improved as she gained confidence and regained a sense of purpose, but it didn't happen overnight.

 

Take a look at the pinned topic right at the top of this board entititled Depression, Mental Health and Crisis support - in it there is a link to The Sirius Project which is a site for help and advice about self harm. Hope it helps

 

Hang in there. You will come through this. <'>

 

K x

Edited November 10, 2009 by Kathryn

[Mumble]

Hi JB,

 

Firstly, probably not much help, but you're not a bad Mum who has missed some miracle cure; there isn't a miracle cure and the advice is contradictory and confusing ranging from ignore to allow - how the heck are you supposed to make sense of that particularly when you're stuck in the middle and just want to help and do the right thing. As someone who has/does self-harm it doesn't make sense to me even trying to apply it to myself so I don't know how others can begin to think about applying it. The reason BTW I say you're not a bad Mum is that you care enough to want to do something and to make this right and you can see the other side to your daughter that others can't. This, whether your daughter makes it obvious to you or not, will mean something to her - it is people who 'get' the other side of me that help me manage day to day and who don't just see the obvious.

 

My daughter was referred to CAMHS last Nov following depression, massive anxieties and panic attacks which also resulted in aggression. The anxieties were all based around her exams/final year and she was supposed to receive therapy to help her overcome these in a block before the run up to her exams. Unfortunately the CPN cancelled three fortnightly appt’s in a row which meant she wasn’t actually seen in the six week period before her exams and they then made the next appt. on the morning of one of her exams – which we subsequently cancelled as the OT didn’t think it was a good idea as my daughter was getting extremely upset at the thought of it.

This really upset me because, although mine relates to my degree, it is exactly the same as my situation - anxieties around exams that others don't get and asking for support in the only way I can but not getting it because others interpret the difficulties through their own perceptions rather than seeing them as I am trying to explain. It's appalling that others are going this sort of situation because it is so totally avoidable. It's not about a cop out and allowing the person with the anxieties not to engage in the same way, it's recognising that (and I'm sorry if this isn't something others want to read) we're not the same and we are going to respond differently to anxieties so we do need the situation setting up those anxieties to be appropriately managed. It's not a case of the same or an extreme of what everyone goes through, it is qualitatively different. I'll have major exams coming up at the end of this academic year. I can't see myself getting though it and I know that support needs to be being considered now if there's any hope of me actually getting through that final hurdle of my degree but others just can't seem to perceive that need. It's very frustrating not being listened too, but all the more so when your ways of making yourself heard are more limited.

 

Neither the psych. or the new CPN have seen the ‘real’ side to my daughter – they never manage to engage her in a conversation where she will open up (the psych. is not the one who diagnosed her) – she is only ever defensive and argumentative towards them – they have not seen the sad, lonely girl who is suffering and begging us to help her to stop hurting herself/others.

Does your daughter write/type much? I know she does art - could she use a combination of these to write/illustrate something about how she feels that may give the psych a way of seeing another side to her (if they are open to this of course). I write to my psychologist and this does help and has allowed her to see more of the other me that wants help rather than defencive me I have learnt to put across. I haven't shared my art, but that helps me to understand myself. It's just an idea, sorry if it isn't helpful.

 

she also told my daughter that her behaviour was of a child much younger than her age and she was using emotional blackmail against us.

Well that's helpful isn't it? What a horrible thing to say and it just suggests very little understanding of ASD - in fact I would be questioning her understanding because part of ASD is about not being able to express oneself emotionally at a chronologically appropriate level.

 

I'm sorry I haven't been much help, but I just wanted to make some reply - I really don't think you're doing anything wrong and I wish I had a mum who understood me as you clearly understand your daughter.

[justine1]

Hi

I also self harmed,between age 13 and 16,I had moved home didnt fit in and hated my controlling step father.I stoped completely when I met my boyfriend (who became my husband) I didnt want to have scars as it made me ugly and I didnt want him thinking I am mad!I really dont think that there is anything anyone could havesaid to help me,I remember the realise I felt when I did it,its hard to explain but it felt good ,all my problems dissappeared even though that only lasted mintes.I had to make the decision to stop on my own.I did relapse again at the age of 21 and again at 23 my husband become really controlling and accusing me of all sorts,to be honest it did not give me the same rush/satisfaction as it did in the past,and because I then had two kids I felt guilty for doing it.I am sorry I cant help you but know how it feels from a parents point of view as well,my Sam used to self harm alot for three years,he is 6 now,he doesnt really self harm but he does pick at sores and scabs,his face is badly scared because of it.I dont know how to stop him I tell him not to of course but he will go upstairs and do it out of my sight.I know your daughter will stop evetually. <'>

P.S. You would not be getting advice if you were not a loving and caring mum,dont put yourself down,being a parent is really hard work esp.if your child has ASD.

[jb1964]

If you find a solution, please bottle it and sell it , x

 

Thank you lisac for your post - it is difficult to not feel guilty but I'm trying to convince myself that there are others who've been in the same/similar situations - the CPN made it sound so easy.

 

Take a look at the pinned topic right at the top of this board entititled Depression, Mental Health and Crisis support - in it there is a link to The Sirius Project which is a site for help and advice about self harm.

 

Many thanks Kathyrn for that link info - I've just gone on the site and it is full of information - some of which I'm hoping I can get my daughter to read.

 

Does your daughter write/type much? I know she does art - could she use a combination of these to write/illustrate something about how she feels that may give the psych a way of seeing another side to her (if they are open to this of course). I write to my psychologist and this does help and has allowed her to see more of the other me that wants help rather than defencive me I have learnt to put across. I haven't shared my art, but that helps me to understand myself. It's just an idea, sorry if it isn't helpful.

 

Thanks Mumble for your post - will talk to my daughter about trying this as I think it may help - I can remember once her doing a self image for something in school and it was a very sad picture but it definitely showed how she felt.

 

I remember the realise I felt when I did it,its hard to explain but it felt good ,all my problems dissappeared even though that only lasted mintes.I had to make the decision to stop on my own.

 

Hi Justine - my daughter has also tried to explain to me that when she does this to herself it takes the pain from her head and makes her feel better.

 

Thank you all again for your posts - it is hard to keep thinking positive and that we'll get through this - I realise now that I kind of naively hoped CAMHS were going to come up with a miracle strategy/therapy to help.

 

Take care,

Jb x

[jb1964]

Hi Jb <'>

i have experienced my partner self-harm, due to massive anxiety and panic

D X <'> <'>

 

Hi D,

 

Many thanks for your post - I hope your partner also manages to overcome this.

Take care,

Jb x

 

[szxmum]

I just feel so utterly useless and helpless. I've known for quite some time that she's using it as a coping strategy I just didn't realise I was such a cr*p mum in allowing it - and feel such a failure because I don't know how to stop it and make her happy.

 

Hi jb

 

I didn't want to read and run.

 

I so understand and empathise with everything you have written. You are not a cr*p Mum, honestly, please believe that. I too have run myself into the ground trying to find the "magic bullet" that would cure my son. Ds has seen CAMHS, AMHS, a counsellor and two psychiatrists.

 

Ds has never self-harmed but he has had depression, anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, suicidal thoughts, an eating disorder and OCD+++. This time last year I remember thinking that the next steps for ds would be an attempted suicide, self-harm or a psychotic break - I was beside myself with worry.

 

I never found the magic solution but what has helped was leaving school and passing control over to him. The reduction in anxiety has improved his mental health no end.

 

I wish you well - please keep posting,

Szxmumxxx

 

[smiley1590]

heya i been on and off self harming since i was 14 years old i now 19 years old nearly 20 years old!!! i tried to attempt sucide by ODing on tabs cut my wrists i have officially been diagnosed with depression when diagnosed with AS messed up my head and life and complicated things so much felt confused and lost this habit addiction seems strange weird to hurt yourself but same concept as drink and drugs to numb blank you escapism or help you cope through life and you just become hooked on the natural brain chemicals happy hormones endorphins rush and buzz in gives you at that time then you feel so bad and guilty but feel it's the only way and option so hard to stop and think when you're brain's whirling yet so fuzzy but driving you mad and crazy thoughts circling all time negative ones and feel can't open up and talk about what's worrying you it all blocked up but so desperate to stop the hurt and pain that runs deep but don't want to hurt and upset one's you love and care for so becomes a 'dirty little secret' that gets found out trying to make excuses to cover it hide it with long sleeves

 

people struggle to get their heads around why someone would go out of their way to do this however bad it gets!!! but having AS and MH problems (depression and anxiety) together is such a hard task to overcome and keep it up you feel you're a failure to blame for everything! has your daughter tried elastic bands around her wrist and pinging them when she has the urge to self-harm or but red marker where she does it when triggered does she write a diary to get her thoughts/feelings and emotions down on paper or hold ice on her arm etc where she self harms and that will cause pain and hurt so may give her same kind of feelings she has when she does it for 'real' i know how it is to be 'stuck' with this it so hard to give up once in there it's like smoking just self-harm as an attention seeking stigma to it and that's is SO wrong when it's about someone crying out for help or be heard and listened too properly and get the right help and support!!! more help and support is needed out there for self harmers

 

how long she been harming for? does she suffer from depression? has medication been mentioned? i'd book an emergency appointment with GP and discuss your personal situation i'd suggest counselling? to see if you can find main root cause and help put stages in place to help her gradually cut down and stop! what she normally cut with? has she talked about suicide? or tried to attempt it?

 

i saw a book in my local library that may help understanding knowledge and also help and advice for carers of self-harmers aswell as self harmers themselves:

 

self harm - the path to recovery by Dr Kate Middleton and Sara Garvie

 

here's some web links that may help you out :

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-harm-Help-Boo...d/dp/1901335038

 

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/...ksaboutselfharm

 

http://www.nshn.co.uk/resources.html

 

http://www.sane.org.uk/Books/Category/Self-harm

 

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_...or_young_people

 

http://www.connexions-direct.com/index.cfm...detailedArticle

 

http://www.connexions-direct.com/index.cfm...detailedArticle

 

http://www.connexions-direct.com/index.cfm...detailedArticle

 

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/

 

hope all this information leads to advice aupport and help as know how hard it is to get someone to listen to how you both struggling and battling with this MH daily fight on your hands!!! from first hand personal experience i've been there and still going through it you feel so ashamed etc over what you do yourself!!! you can't see no wrong it destroy your body making scars and destroying your soul too at same time!!! just want to run away and feel free at same time doing it has this desired effect!!!

 

take care

good luck

XKLX

 

if need to chat more feel free to PM i going through self harm blip at the moment know what i'm talking about!

 

[smiley1590]

my parents felt to blame like they did something terribly wrong when thet discovered how bad my MH was started questioning themselves behaviours actions it natural process and feeling to have as you feel so powerless helpless frustrated of trying to know what to suggest for the best but being on here posting and trying to get help and support for your daughter MH problems can only be what interests a GOOD MUM would have NOT a BAD one that's for sure not fingers are pointing or accusing you just think you mind is playing tricks on you making feel paranoid insecure and puzzled leading to self-doubt but if your daughters difficulties are these nothing you could have done more to prevent it for happening would have come out anyway!!!

 

XKX

[jb1964]

I never found the magic solution but what has helped was leaving school and passing control over to him.

Szxmumxxx

 

Many thanks for your reply Szxmum. We've just pulled her out from College (she started in Sept) and we're hoping that some time out may help the situation as the SEN there thought she really wasn't coping well. Although the CPN didn't really help there either as she pressed my daughter on what was she going to do now instead?

 

heya i been on and off self harming since i was 14 years old i now 19 years old nearly 20 years old!!! i tried to attempt sucide by ODing on tabs cut my wrists i have officially been diagnosed with depression when diagnosed with AS messed up my head and life and complicated things so much felt confused and lost this habit addiction seems strange weird to hurt yourself but same concept as drink and drugs to numb blank you escapism or help you cope through life and you just become hooked on the natural brain chemicals happy hormones endorphins rush and buzz in gives you at that time then you feel so bad and guilty but feel it's the only way and option so hard to stop.

how long she been harming for? does she suffer from depression? has medication been mentioned? i'd book an emergency appointment with GP and discuss your personal situation i'd suggest counselling? to see if you can find main root cause and help put stages in place to help her gradually cut down and stop! what she normally cut with? has she talked about suicide? or tried to attempt it?

 

Hi Smiley - thank you so much for sharing your experience - I hope you are feeling ok and that you have help with your anxieties and depression.

 

I can't recall exactly when it started happening but it was an issue when she was going through the diagnosis process (when she was 11yrs old just after starting comp) - she is on medication at the moment Fluoxetine but I think they may start to wean her off this when we see the consult. next week. She normally uses her nails (on her face and arms) but did at one time use scissors and she also hits her head into various things - I do worry she will move onto something else. She says it makes her feel better that it eases the pain in her head. She has mentioned suicide often and also said that she's rubbish at self harming or trying to commit suicide because she can't get it right.

 

Thank you again for your replies, it is much appreciated.

Take care,

Jb x

[Tally]

Hi jb,

 

Her opinion that self-harming makes her feel better is not unfounded. Pain releases endorphins, which really do make you feel better. For this reason, some people become addicted to self-harming. Another way to release endorphins is vigorous exercise.

[smiley1590]

if helps you and your daughter sharing my personal experiences then i feel i'm doing 'something'

 

i think assessment/diagnosis period can be 'challenging' for everyone involved especially the sufferer as feel so lost confused yet a 'faker' and you've been living a hidden 'lie' so many thoughts you have going round thinking you could done more to prevent it save yourself and your family pointing finger back at you you feel so silly stupid idiot!!! makes you angry and resentful which causes you to be depressed!!!

 

i felt like i can't get 'anything' right in my life i think this 'boils down to' frustrations and isolations of having hidden difficulties and getting so'worn down' of fighting everyday life it becomes boring and non exciting the NT world is scary pplace to be when you don't understand alot of things around you and your life everything feels 'out of reach' and touch alot of time making it seems like a mountain to climb with sweat pouring off you and you feeling 'forced' to live not 'wanting' or 'choosing' there a BIG gap inbetween and difference ( hopes this ASD riddle makes sense somewhere in it for you)

 

trying my hardest to explain from 'our ASD eyes' when you feel one way of self -harm has 'lost' it's beginning effect of what you first felt how made you feel inside your head and heart you try something else she's gone from cutting to headbanging ( headbanging is common form of self-harm used in ASD sufferers more seen in severe though cutting seen more in AS form) i go from cutting to punching walls it hard to make people 'see' how makes you feel instantly 'magicly better' through it wears off quick the 'happy chemical' endorphins go around your body,blood stream etc it does stop pain and hurt within your head she is right there!

 

when i first started self-harming at 14 years old when went into a 'deep depression spiral' i was put on same medication flouxtine (prozac) it made me feel nausea of didn't eat before took it in morning i don't think i helped me with depressive feelings ,thoughts etc was on it for ages aswell pyschtrist put me on it from CAMHS they love there 'quick fix way out' bu suggesting that! i personally feel! wasn't useful or helpful! didn't benefit from it but doesn't work for everyone different medications for different people that means ASD aswell

 

must be harder to know what to prescribe when dealing with so many complex issues into one strange and weird situation as all mixes together really! i work with NAS support workers i have 2 young ladies 3 times a week i keep putting off my pyschology sessions as 'don't feel up it to it' at this moment! don't know when this happen i know i'm addicted to the 'happy hormone' the buzz and thrill it gives me when i do it and i know it wrong though! how can something so wrong felt so right at the time?! can't work it out for myself! i don't like 'admitting' i'm sinking and struggling with 'things building up' i drive myself mental crazy being me!

 

XKX

 

 

[trekster]

Hi,

 

My daughter was referred to CAMHS last Nov following depression, massive anxieties and panic attacks which also resulted in aggression. The anxieties were all based around her exams/final year and she was supposed to receive therapy to help her overcome these in a block before the run up to her exams. Unfortunately the CPN cancelled three fortnightly appt’s in a row which meant she wasn’t actually seen in the six week period before her exams and they then made the next appt. on the morning of one of her exams – which we subsequently cancelled as the OT didn’t think it was a good idea as my daughter was getting extremely upset at the thought of it.

 

Following from that the psych. started her on anti-depressants and arranged for a different CPN to see her – who has seen my daughter twice including yesterday at home.

 

Did she get worse on the anti depressants? What medication is she on? i cannot tolerate anti depressants and they make me suicidal especially seroxat!

Neither the psych. or the new CPN have seen the ‘real’ side to my daughter – they never manage to engage her in a conversation where she will open up (the psych. is not the one who diagnosed her) – she is only ever defensive and argumentative towards them – they have not seen the sad, lonely girl who is suffering and begging us to help her to stop hurting herself/others.

 

Her defensiveness and anger are signs of her depression that these psychs just dont recognise. My anger is actually depression so when im really angry it means im really depressed about something. If her self harm is cutting she is likely to be lacking the serotonin which is released via the cutting. 5htp is a better alternative to this (but cant be taken with SSRIs).

 

i think it is disgusting that she cancelled so many appointments in a row. Did you get an apology and plausible explanation for the cancellations?

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=2175 NAS supporting families in Wales section of the site. There is a new programme out in Jan 2010 called soicaleyes which is social skills training for autistics in Wales. Unfortunately she is too old for the out of schools clubs for autistics. There could be a privately owned teenage club for autistics, i felt much better when i was with my own kind for a while. No disrespect to my parents but it helped with the feelings of lonliness and isolation.

During the CPN’s visit yesterday she informed us that our daughters self harming and aggression is because we have allowed her to use this as a coping strategy for when she gets frustrated or angry and that we need to find an incentive and other strategies for her to use – she also told my daughter that her behaviour was of a child much younger than her age and she was using emotional blackmail against us.

 

That is disgusting behaviour and the sort of treatment i got from my local college at the time. They clearly don't understand autism or self harming. No it is not your fault, you are dealing with a very distressed youngster. i would make a formal complaint about them using the NAS help.

We told her that self harming and aggression have always been issues for my daughter and we don’t know how to help her and she told us to use minimal words, walk away and disengage from her when she starts any of this behaviour and put a sign on the door saying I will speak to you in 5mins when you’ve calmed down – she also suggested seeing how other parents cope for tips…….don’t know why I didn’t think to try any of that already!!

 

They dont understand that challenging behaviour in autism is very different from NT challenging behaviour! They are so stupid and ironically inflexible.

As she was leaving she told us to contact the NAS and that she’ll speak to the psych. tomorrow – we have an appointment with her next week.

 

I have gone on the NAS site this morning for help but don’t really know where to start – any interventions or therapy just give an outline – most being for young children and the courses are usually not close to us – I can’t seem to think straight to even know what I’m supposed to do.

 

I’ve also followed every topic on this site regarding self harm and aggression but not come across a miracle strategy yet – if someone knows this can they please, please post their tip as I cannot live with this terrible guilt I now feel from letting my daughter down and I don’t know how to help her.

 

Take care,

Jb

 

The only thing that helped me was gluten and dairy free living. i also went of MSG, aspartame and benzoates. Does your daughter read books about aspergers/autism? There is a user guide aimed at teenagers and also "freeks geeks and asperger syndrome" which is hilarious for me. i read it from cover to cover whilst going through withdrawals. Another thing that helped with my depression was fish oils, (eye Q were the best), b6 and magnesium. fish oils take a few weeks to work, going off milk a few days and going off gluten a few months. i tried everything else (including numerous suicide self harm episodes). As long as im on the right supplements i can deal reasonably well with stress and only something out of the ordinary (such as my dying neighbour) is likely to affect that stability.

 

Other books include "what is asperger syndrome and how will it affect me?" "complete guide to adolescence" (i think tony attwood wrote this one), "how to be yourself in a world thats different", "asperger syndrome success in the teens and twenties", "complete guide to asperger syndrome".

 

Is there anything in particular that sets her off? There are books on "behavioural concerns and ASD" and "managing meltdowns" (which i hear is good). Only after reading about aspergers did i discover how i could help myself and why others we reacting to my behaviour.

 

good luck

 

Alexis (last suicide attempt feb 2005 and counting!)