HELP with finding school PLEASE

[madsadie]

My son is 13 and was diagnosed ASD at 10, which has just been changed to Aspergers, with Social anxiety, generalised anxiety and Separation anxiety. He's in mainstream school and I'm going to tribunal against part 2, 3 and 4 of his statement. Now I'm really panicking.

 

What I really wanted for him was a small school with small classes so that he has less reliance on T/As and could relax a bit more. Went to a couple of independent special schools but as he couldn't get through the taster days due to anxiety about break time( not knowing anyone) they wouldn't have him. He has no behaviour probs.

I went to local ASD unit attached to big comprehensive . Was impressed with understanding of problems, but he would be expected to go into main school classes with a T/A or would be taught in the unit by a T/A. He's already going into main classes with and without T/A.

 

the other option I have sort of locally is another independent special school which has the whole spectrum of ASD children and whilst it is really good for anxiety/social issues the academic side is not so good- he can't take GCSEs. But, I don't even know if he'll end up taking GCSEs anyway,though apparently he has the ability (with the right teaching I assume).

 

Other than this I could send him away to something like Cambian, which I haven't visited but am really impressed with. But, I think boarding would put too much strain on him- he won't go anywhere without me. And, doubt if we'd get funding anyway as he is , at least, going to school.School say he's doing well, but I know the T/A is telling him what to write in assessments- it's not his work.

 

 

The only other school I've considered is NEW ECCLES HALL, as he seemed happier about visiting. we would have to move to go there, and of course no guarantee we'd get funding. Anyone know anything about it??

 

He is desperate not to go to special school, even if I could find one! Ideally I wanted a private mainstream school with a good understanding of ASD but of course the minute you mention the dreaded Statement, they don't want to know (don't know where the money would come from anyway).

 

I know compromise has to be made somewhere, but not sure where.

 

Would be really grateful for any advice.

[Kazzen161]

Often the Cambian, etc schools offer day places as well as residential, if you live close enough.

 

I will PM you a few suggestions, but it looks like you live near Norwich, so I don't know that area very well.

[Sally44]

I'm sure you know that in part 4 you need to name the school (or type of school), and if you have a specific school you need a letter from them saying that they have a place available and offering it to your son.

 

To help you get an idea of the type of school, make a list of all his needs and difficulties and what he needs to meet that eg. if he has alot of anxiety about change, then he needs routine which may mean that all lessons are taught in the same class, or that he has the same TA throughout the day.

 

If he is easily distracted, has sensory issues, and auditory processing issues/language difficulties then he may need small group teaching in a small low arousal environment.

 

You also need an ASD approach to teaching such as the TEACCH approach, and also supports known to help those on the spectrum such as Toe by Toe (for any literacy/phonic/dyslexia difficulties) and ICT software such as Widgit Symwriter, predictive text etc.

 

The professional who would advise on whether a school was suitable, and what type of school he needed is an Educational Psychologist. Do you have a report from one that details the kind of school and environment he needs?

 

How is he coping with anxiety in his current school?

[justine1]

Hi

 

My son is 7 and had missed out the whole of year 2 because he wasnt coping in mainstream.I was desparate for him to go to a special school,I found a lovely ASD school,but its very popular so it was unlikely he could get in.The LEA told me about an ASD unit,like you I was against the idea,the mainstream class has 30kids in! I wasnt prepared to have him integrated back into the same environment he was coming from!

 

I reluctantly agreed to send him there,they gave him the place while we waited for the statement to come through.After 2 months it is going really well, they integrate him slowly and dont push.He only goes for one lesson a day in the mainstream,the rest of the time he is in the unit which has 6 other boys. So all I am saying is dont rule it out.

 

My son doesnt even like the fact that the unit is just for ASD kids saying he doesnt feel "normal" and wants to go just to mainstream.Even though its a lower school kids are still aware the kids from the unit have special needs and they can be nasty.Overall He is happy,he is working much harder and has made some good friends.

 

Unfortunatley we may have to move and it may not be possible for him to continue where he is

[jollypig]

my daughter has just started a special school in september and after 2 horrible years at the local comprehensive [now academy] where i was told she would probably never take any exams she is going to take her english gcse probably next year at 14 yrs old ! the best thing we ever did was fight for what we felt was right for her . what ever you feel your son needs fight for it it will be worth it in the end.

[bonbons]

my DD has also had a terrible time since going into high school. Now out of education as her anxieties resulted in angry and aggressive outbursts and it was felt that she wasn't coping with mainstream. statement process is underway with the LA agreeing to assess her, and a particular non maintained special school has been strongly recommended to us as the best place to help her...it does seem fantastic and we have made our wishes known to everyone involved in her situation, and everyone agrees, however this school is out of our area. There are several special units in our town specialising in ASD but at the moment there are no places available in any of them so have been told that if this remains the case by the time her statement is complete, then the LA will have to look out of area. I am pinning my hopes on her going there as I strongly feel it is the right place for her but worry that if they can keep her local they will even though a mainstream setting has proved not to work! I think we will have a fight on our hands when the time comes!

[madsadie]

Hello everyone

Thank you for all your replies - I am amazed and so pleased!

 

I will have a look at some more schools - I haven't really considered boarding as yet, but i suppose if I go and look it will give me more idea, and then if I decide to rule it out, it only leaves me with the option of moving, or one of the units.

The thing is I don't have much time as all my stuff has to be in beg Dec. Panic. Panic!!!!

 

Does anyone know if its ok to ask to see the unit when the other kids are there. I've been twice and each time it has been empty. I need to get an idea of how my son will fit in. Is that reasonable? The other unit is not open til Nov and will have 22 places in a school which has 1600 pupils . Has anyone else seen a unit this size?

[madsadie]

Hi sally44

thanks for your reply.

 

As to how he copes in school...

 

For a start getting into school is a problem. He won't enter/leave at the normal time due to other students. Until recently I was taking him on the bus, but later to avoid crowds ,and having to wait 40 mins after school before he'd leave the building. He was missing his first lesson as he didn't want to go in late. After much fighting the LEA have now agreed to a taxi and I go with him into school. I have to go in with him in case he's worried about something and can't tell anyone. This means there is less trouble getting him into school, but it is not remedying his fear of other students or worrying about the day.

He is met by a T/A ( when available) who takes him to lessons, but he doesn't have her for all lessons. He does not go to registration at all or assembly. If there are any group gatherings, such as more than one class going to watch a play in the hall, he can't cope and cries. He won't speak out in class and when they do speeches he does it with the teacher at lunchtime. He never goes on any outings, apart from , very oddly, a whole school sponsored walk.

 

he is not accessing the curriculum - he doesn't do PE,Drama, Dance or Art. At break time he

goes outside or stays with one of his teachers in her classroom (lunch only ). He says he'd rather stay in (doesn't like the noise outside) but doesn't think his friend would like to stay in (probably because the only way they can stay in is to sit with the teacher. They were allowed to huddle in a corner of the playground under the trees but have been turned out.Most of the time now he doesn't eat lunch or drink, so is ravenous when he gets home.

The problem is that he appears to 'cope' at school but at home is more angry and frustrated at home. The school are 'cooking up' a nice story of how well he's doing, so its my word against theirs.

The problem is that proving this is difficult as I have no witnesses. I don't have any private reports as can't afford them. Think I'll have to get an EP to go and observe.

the LEA EP saw him a year ago but did not make any recommendations re a different school, class size etc, she just noted my thoughts that he should be in a small school.

Still waiting for O/T assessment- will probably wait for ever.

 

The other problem is that he wants to stay where he is even with all the worries- better the devil you know, I suppose in his eyes.

 

We haven't really had a meeting with school to discuss the satement, only to discuss problem with lack of T/A support. they've told me he gets 7 hours a week, have given me timetable but have said she isn't in all the lessons shown - can't say exactly which ones she'll be in! I've been advised to call a meeting but am wary , and also have no one to take notes. Have thought about getting someone from parent partnership but worried they may be a bit biased as employed by same LA.

 

I'll stop now. Sorry, didn't mean to write an essay!

[madsadie]

Hi bonbons

Thanks for your reply

If you've found somewhere that feels right for your daughter, just fight all the way.

Easier said I know!

I am quite willing to fight but at the mo can't find the right place. It's good that all the units are full if you don't want her to go there. How are you getting on with her at home? Do you get any internet lessons or anything?

 

Good luck with your ordeal

Edited October 18, 2010 by madsadie

[madsadie]

Hi

 

My son is 7 and had missed out the whole of year 2 because he wasnt coping in mainstream.I was desparate for him to go to a special school,I found a lovely ASD school,but its very popular so it was unlikely he could get in.The LEA told me about an ASD unit,like you I was against the idea,the mainstream class has 30kids in! I wasnt prepared to have him integrated back into the same environment he was coming from!

 

I reluctantly agreed to send him there,they gave him the place while we waited for the statement to come through.After 2 months it is going really well, they integrate him slowly and dont push.He only goes for one lesson a day in the mainstream,the rest of the time he is in the unit which has 6 other boys. So all I am saying is dont rule it out.

 

My son doesnt even like the fact that the unit is just for ASD kids saying he doesnt feel "normal" and wants to go just to mainstream.Even though its a lower school kids are still aware the kids from the unit have special needs and they can be nasty.Overall He is happy,he is working much harder and has made some good friends.

 

Unfortunatley we may have to move and it may not be possible for him to continue where he is

 

Thanks for your advice, I think we may end up at the unit in absence of anything else. I'm glad it appears to be working for your son. It's unfortunate you may have to move but let's hope that if you do , you will find somewhere as successful. We all have to learn to deal with change in life, and your son's needs may alter as he gets older, so maybe moving may not be as bad as you think.

 

All the best.

[madsadie]

my daughter has just started a special school in september and after 2 horrible years at the local comprehensive [now academy] where i was told she would probably never take any exams she is going to take her english gcse probably next year at 14 yrs old ! the best thing we ever did was fight for what we felt was right for her . what ever you feel your son needs fight for it it will be worth it in the end.

Thanks for your reply.

Its amazing to hear about your daughter. My son is now in yr 9 and they've started gcse early, only he's been told to do btec. This is funny as at last parents eve we were told he was top of the class and could get a good gcse. The problem is largely because the teacher who is doing the btec is the one he had last year - my son thinks he's great and refuses to go into the other class. so that's that. He wants to be a bus driver and says that he doesn't need gcses to do that!