oxgirl Report post Posted November 23, 2011 My baby is 18 today! I feel a bit mixed really. Leading up to it. I was starting to feel quite depressed. It just seemed like a massive milestone and hearing of others' kids who are 18 who have girlfriends, are taking driving lessons, getting part-time jobs and going off to uni just brought it home to me how much my lad isn't doing that others are at his age. He wasn't happy yesterday, was worried about being 18, I think, but he seems okay today. He's enjoyed his day overall. I guess my main feeling is worry and fear and sadness. Where will he be when he is 19, or 20 or 25, will he still be in the same 'place' he is now, missing out on all sorts of 'stuff' that kids his age should be experiencing, will he still be stuck at home with mum and dad with no friends, trailing around with us for company and security. It's scary. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted November 23, 2011 (edited) I do know how you feel Mel <'> I had very similar feelings when my DS turned 18, and it wasn't a very good time for him at all. I can remember seeing his peers from his old mainstream school around town and knowing they were off to uni and so on. But often it just takes our kids longer to get where they want to be. When he was 18 I would never have believed that at 22 my DS would be working full-time and living independently in a nice flat in another city. He has never managed to finish off his A levels or go to uni which he wanted to do, but he's doing his own thing, and yesterday he texted me to say he's been working on a short film which he will start shooting next week. So don't lose heart! Bid <'> Edited November 23, 2011 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted November 23, 2011 Mel, I think Bid is right that we sometimes just take a bit longer than everyone else to get there. At 18 I was still very much a child and definitely couldn't face the thought of going to university. Your son might surprise you over the next few years. I'm glad he's enjoying his birthday today Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted November 23, 2011 How time flies!! My advice is not to spend too much time comparing your son with other 18 year olds holding boozy parties who can't wait to leave home. In a few years time things might have changed beyond what is imaginable at the moment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 23, 2011 Agree completely with others and particularly Canopus's last sentence. My daughter has just started uni at 22, living away from home and loving it. At 18 she was still at home doing a very basic part time course at the local college, and not really showing any independence at all. Her peers have moved on, but she's catching up and I'll tell you something else, she's having a better life than many of them as they have now finished uni and are living back at home with their parents as they can't get jobs! Isn't life strange... Don't lose heart - anything can happen and often does. <'> K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted November 24, 2011 At age 18 i was having a breakdown but 4 years later i had received my A levels in computing and science and was going to uni, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted November 24, 2011 Thanks everyone for all your words of encouragement. I know you're right, he's still very young and has his whole life to do these things, there's no rush really. We'll just keep on keeping on. I just want him to be happy, that's all. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowsButterflies Report post Posted November 24, 2011 I think I would have been better off I I hadn't gone to uni at 18 - I needed a bit longer to get my head straight and understand what was going on. There's no rush, he'll be fine (((hugs))) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canopus Report post Posted November 25, 2011 University isn't the be all and end all of everything. Unless you are aiming for a career in medicine, or law, or something where it's next to impossible to access without a degree then there are often better and more rewarding alternatives. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted November 25, 2011 It isn't university that is the main cause of my concern, that was just one thing I mentioned that other kids his age are doing that he isn't. It's more that he doesn't have any friends, doesn't go out, has no independence and isn't having experiences that he should be, that are the worries for me. It's the fact that he isn't 'getting on', getting out there and making a life for himself, whatever that is, he's cocooned at home with us and doesn't go out unless he's escorted, has no friends to go out with and, at the moment, very little prospect of things improving. I'm not at all bothered about him going to university as such, it's more that he's missing out on life in general. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soraya Report post Posted November 27, 2011 (edited) I know just how you feel, my son has just turned 18 and it breaks my heart that he does not have friends, he does try to make friend but they never last due to lack of social skills. However he has just passed his driving test which has given him independence and he does go out, but it is usually on his own cruising in the car!! Edited November 27, 2011 by soraya Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
