Another Asperger case enters...

[scumble]

Hello everyone.

 

I've ended up researching Asperger's Syndrome because in the past few months I've had trouble with some serious Anxiety and Depression problems that led me to seek professional help. After a couple of sessions with a psychiatrist he came up with the suggestion that I may be showing some elements of Asperger's Syndrome. I'd looked at the condition before, but nothing had really clicked with me, but after it was re-suggested, it started to make more sense.

 

I think the problem was more pronounced when I was younger - very few friends, preferred to spend time on my own, would escape social areas in school to go to a library, typically somewhat depressed as a teenager from feeling socially isolated. I made some silly mistakes because I couldn't detect intentions or the effect some actions would have.

 

I'm 34 now, so I have learned a fair amount with some difficulty because I've been forced to interact with people at work. As I've recently been called on to be more proactive about communication, the continued effort has worn me down leading to a crash, I think. I've had drained, depressed periods before because the effort of social contact just takes a lot out of me.

 

The other element I've been faced with is more of a desire to manage to make friends with people I like, which might not have been present before. Maybe it's down to the fact that I've experienced more of the positives from social interaction, but I am sad because I don't seem to be able to go from acquaintance to friend. I guess I just don't understand how it happens.

 

At least there is a possible explanation, and the diagnosis just seems to make some sense of a generally lonely and isolated life. At least I have managed to find a partner and have two lovely young children, but the mental health problems have been making everything quite hard.

 

I'm hoping that this knowledge that I must have Asperger's Syndrome will help me to figure things out a bit better.

[littleplum]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

 

You write very eloquently of your experiences in a way that must resonate with many people here. I wish you well in your quest for greater understanding and 'success' in your life, if that is the right word.

[darkshine]

Hello

[Tanya52]

Hello and welcome!

 

Nice meeting you here.

[trekster]

Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of ASD. Im also a spectrumy.

[Aeolienne]

I am sad because I don't seem to be able to go from acquaintance to friend. I guess I just don't understand how it happens.

At least I have managed to find a partner

How did you manage that?

[robert7111a]

Hi Scumble and welcome

 

Yes it took me some time (years!) to realise I had AS after a lonely life... So glad there are like-minded people on this forum to share experiences with

[scumble]

I knew I'd posted something on here. I'm bumping my own thread as I registered here and then forgot about it until now. I did not realise when I initially posted the above at the beginning of 2012 I was also heading for a marriage implosion. What I wasn't able to say was that the "partner" I had found was actually an alcoholic and likely a case of Borderline Personality Disorder. My marriage was actually a case of me being a victim for many years, which is quite clear to me now. I was simply playing along thinking the somewhat twisted relationship I was in was normal. I feel like I've had a decade of my life eaten up.

 

How did you manage that?

 

In many ways I wish I hadn't - in 1999 I was working in Germany and probably in the most isolated state I have ever been in. I was given my future wife's email address by a friend of my father's. Over email it seemed like communication was easier and there were some similarities in our background which made it seem like this was what I thought I'd been waiting for. I was unfortunately completely wrong. I think I was out of my depth and lacking a lot of the sense most people have with people.

 

Well, I could write a small essay about all of that. In the end it came down to her simply becoming intolerable and I realised I couldn't live with it any more. I still needed help to make the break. I don't know where I'd be without my family. They basically made me realise I had to end it.

 

I think it was only after ending that phase of my life I could get back to thinking about the AS question. Now I am actually diagnosed with some form of ASC. I'm not sure Asperger's Syndrome is in official use anymore. I don't know which label I prefer. I prefer to avoid "Disorder" now.

 

I attend a local support group run by a local charity, but I haven't gone much beyond that yet. I have quite enough to deal with as I am responsible for my two sons.

 

So I'm on my own again and wondering what to do next...

[positive_about]

I was in a bad marriage, she just used me to improve her situation - I made the mistake of ignoring warning signs, and ended up being used and abused. I just didn't realise that some people have bad intentions, I just wanted to love her and try and build a life together. In the end she hated me for not being good enough and decided it was best I left (though I felt it was mostly my fault). I was so relieved to get away from her controlling me, but I felt extremely lost - and decided to live on my own to recover. It took me years to get over her, but I was determind she wasn't going to affect the rest of my life.

 

Just be positive and make a promise to yourself that you won't make the same mistake again - hold out for someone positive, someone who lifts you up. Change is a difficult thing for autistic people to cope with, and when it happens it can take some time to adjust/recover - just ease yourself through this period and try and set some goals to aim for.

[Tanya52]

Hi and welcome back!

 

good to have you here