Rituals

[JeanneA]

Hi has anyone experienced their young person going through various rituals after a long period (18 months to 2 years) of not doing so? This has happened in Glen's case. He has gone through so much trauma lately: having an operation on his eye to reattach his retina, then moving care homes and then having an examination on his eye to check its recovering ok and then having to attend the 'yearly prom' which just isn't for him! Loud music, a lot of people etc. Anyway he came home this weekend and was carrying out so many rituals that I hadn't seen in ages.

 

Touching/stroking door handles over and over, walking slowly and in a certain way through door ways, stroking his clothes when taking them off making sure they are neatly placed, stroking towels numerous times, staring at all the lights (when on) in the house, these kind of things. Glen also hit himself quite a few times, on 2 occasions it was in front of his brother and sister, and it really upset his sister.

 

To me it looks like after what Glen's been through lately, doing these rituals are his way of trying to cope with what's happened to him, do you think I'm right? Also I think he is feeling quite low in himself and maybe feeling a little depressed? He ate extremely well this weekend, but I know prior to coming home he had 'gone off his food' which is not like Glen, he only goes off his food when he is feeling low or unwell. I feel he is not in a good place withing himself at the moment and this makes me feel very sad.

 

I would welcome your thoughts on this please, thank you. I am going to call the home manager this manager to raise my concerns with him.

[lisac]

Hi Jeanne, yes my son is doing this at the moment, more than usual. I have no idea why ( as usual). I am sure it is their way of trying to cope with something/some change, but what, we have no idea. I wish i could give a helpful comment but i am as in the dark as you are. My son lives with me and i still have no idea at all

[JeanneA]

Hi Lisa nice to hear from you. Yes I think it is a form of coping, I spoke to the care home manager today and he said Glen does the rituals there as well. He has been through a lot so it is not surprising what he is doing. Hopefully he will settle down again.

[Mannify]

My son's only seven, so maybe my comments are irrelevant. But we do find that he quite often returns to behaviour that we thought had long since died away. Sometimes it can be a return to behaviour from years ago. One such is compulsively wrapping things - he can go well over a year with episodes of that. He hasn't done it for ages, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if it returned.

 

I do hope things settle down, and you get some answers so you can both feel more contented again.

[raydon]

Hi Jeanne

 

I used to (and still do occasionally) touch and stroke familiar objects especially when I am feeling very insecure. I find it very comforting and it is a way of calming down and reconnecting with a better feeling from the past. It's like taking a couple of steps backwards before you can move on again.

 

A common side effect of a detached retina is "seeing" very bright lights even in darkness. Staring at the lights could be a way of rediscovering what is real again.

Edited November 5, 2012 by raydon

[JeanneA]

Hi thanks to you both for your comments. I didn't realise that a side effect of a detached retina was 'seeing' bright lights even in darkness, that is very interesting, thanks for that. :-)

[Mike_GX101]

He's saying he's doing the best that he can do and it doesn't seem to be enough and he's focusing that anger towards himself. Go easy on him.

[Sally44]

My son's 'autistic' behaviour increased alot when he was stressed and anxious. I don't think it is necessarily a coping thing. I think it is anxiety driven, and for my own son it has OCD elements to it ie. things he 'has' to do. And he does not get pleasure out of it because he is doing it out of 'fear'. So some rituals can be comforting, but others are not. If the individual involved is not very verbal or able to explain their emotions, it can be very hard to tell what is the motivation for the behaviours.

 

For example, whilst at home, my son only wears his underpants. I could assume that he is tactile sentiive [which he is], and that removing his clothes makes him feel better. However, my son tells me he takes off his clothes to stop them getting contaminated with germs and then contaminating him and his bedroom.

 

I'm sorry Glen has had a number of things to cope with recently. My son has not coped well with the return to school after the holidays. So i'm hoping things calm down for him soon.

[Mike_GX101]

Some ritualistic behaviours are communicative in how one is feeling too.

[JeanneA]

Thanks very much for both of your comments. I can see that what Glen does could be anxiety driven knowing how anxious he can be, but I do feel towards the fact that he is acting out the rituals because it is his way of coping at the moment. I do hope he settles down soon. I am so worried about him, every day I am ringing the home to find out how he is and how many incidents there's been that day, by incidents I mean hitting himself or others. Today there was about 3 or 4 incidents of him hitting himself. Next Tuesday my husband and I are going to the home as their is a review meeting for Glen. It will be interesting to see what the home is like and particularly Glen's bedroom and to meet some of the staff.

[trekster]

Why did the care home subject him to the bombardment of sensory overload when that just isnt his scene?

I went out to a bar the other night with friends. To an extent if sensory overload gets a bit much I can wheel off and escape but if I had felt pushed into going I would have had extreme difficulties leaving afterwards. As it happened I misunderstood what I was drinking at the time and had to wait longer.

 

I'm being denied some of my rituals at the moment mainly to do with my playmobils, I panic when im unable to find them thinking someone has hidden them from me. I've had one of those no point in going to bed evenings last night. Will probably catch up on sleep later on today ironically this can reset a weird sleeping pattern although I thought my weekend in Manchester did that.

 

To go back to the original point, yes I totally agree that old habits can recur due to upset. My autistic relative (still in denial and doing nothing about accepting her autism) has habits that come and go in peaks and troughs also insisting that things would be better if her (abusive but she denies that too) ex was still alive.

[JeanneA]

Hi Trekster I quite agree with your comments regarding the care home. Glen should never have attended the Prom, it just isn't his thing. As soon as he got there he became anxious and was taken out for a walk, so staff should have let him stay at the home and had a quiet night with a couple of members of staff to keep an eye on him. After all there must have been some staff who didn't go and had to be on duty at the home. I think the trouble is the care home thinks that it is a good thing that Glen is included with these events even though it is the last thing he would want if he could communicate his needs.

Sorry to hear about your autistic relative Trekster it is such a shame that she can't accept her autism. I hope you don't lose anymore playmobils it can't be very nice when someone hides your things, it must be upsetting.