Klou Report post Posted July 22, 2005 I am just wondering what as parents or ASD sufferers concerns you most about your/your child's behaviour/condition. I have been giving this lots of thought at the moment because we have the psychologist appointment next week. She has told me what to expect and she is going to ask about what concerns I have about DS. The thing is I have my diary notes and list of oddities to report but I can't quite put my finger on why these things concern me. What is your interpretation of this? Why do those aspects of the ASD concern you most? Thank you. Your thoughts are appreciated. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted July 22, 2005 My 2 are self harm, and my son not accepting everything can not be perfect all of the time (which also leads to self harm) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 23, 2005 Social / friendship problems. .........Anger........Education education education !.......Teenage years........eating.......Anxiety /depression. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted July 23, 2005 The thing that concerns me most about my sons is the way society continues to push to normalise them their condition because it can not always be seen. This really worries me and the fact that as adults they will be living in a society which does not even try to understand Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted July 24, 2005 Social difficulties and fitting in are our two biggest concerns for our 7 year old at the moment. He is acutely aware of these difficulties. Our 5 year old is no more socially able but is much less aware/concerned by his difficulties. His biggest issues are virtually no understanding of consequences and an almost conplete unwilligness to do anything he doesn't want to. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invent 10 things b4 breakfast Report post Posted July 24, 2005 (edited) We have an 8 year old son and are concerned about society and how he will cope in the big bad world Schools and their lack of understanding and currently his perception of fiction and reality - that's a tough one at the moment, am hoping that will click at some point Edited July 24, 2005 by invent 10 things b4 breakfast Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klou Report post Posted July 25, 2005 Thank you for all the replies so far. Simon - I can seriously identify with the lack of understanding about consequences and refusal to do anything he doesn't want to. We have just had the weekend from hell. Particularly yesterday, because of this stubborn defiance and his ignoring of consequences. Socially I am not sure DS is really aware of his differences. I know he finds it frustrating that his clumsy attempts to interact seem to push other children away in the playground. I think that for us I am most concerned about his defiance and the fact consequences seem to have little effect on his behaviour. Also his understanding of when social interactions do and do not include him. I think I will increasingly worry about social situations like when he goes to school and there are more people to deal with. He finds those situations very difficult and tends to withdraw or go hyper. Luckily we have a while before this becomes a big problem. As time goes on and it seems more likely he will encounter problems I think the whole school thing will be a constant concern. I am trying to 'cross that bridge' when we get to it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted July 25, 2005 Klou The difference between our two boys is quite marked in the sense that our 7 year old desperately wants to have loads of friends and it is hearbreaking to watch his attempts to fit in fail . Our 5 year old is easily overawed by large groups of people and actively avoids social gatherings, but he has never given the slightest hint that he is at all concerned about whether people like him or not. This means out 5 year old doesn't have issues with low self-esteem, but it makes him much harder to manage as making people around him angry/upset doesn't worry him at all. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted July 25, 2005 as a pre teen girl she just dont fit in she is a perenial victim and soo immature Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted July 25, 2005 hiya, my main comcern for my little boy at the moment is to fit in socailly. he's just becoming aware of his peers and is desperate to join in, often ending up in confusion and frustration for him he has such low self-esteem, it breaks my heart, he often spends hours just in tears Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hatter Report post Posted July 25, 2005 The fact that they're so vulnerable to bullying It affects them in different ways- Ivan is oblivious to anyone's malicious intentions (rough play, teasing etc), but he's so happy-go-lucky- he just goes back for more. Charlie, I have always felt is so vulnerable because he is so easily moved to tears- this makes him a target because his reaction is so extreme, for very little effort He has become so aware- it is really getting noticible how anxious he gets in social situations). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted July 25, 2005 Hi, I too am concerned about bullying, my son often tries to get in and socialise but his one sided talk about video games and starwars often leave the other kids giving eachother the sideway mickey taking glances He also would not know how to defend himself physically. He is very verbal, but has significant language comprehension difficulties, this increases his anxiety when people think because he can talk he understands what they are going on about, and then they are left wondering why all of a sudden he has started to flap and scream. I am very concerned about his vulnerability, if someone told him they had lots of starwars games, he would be off like a shot Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Colin_and_Shelagh Report post Posted July 25, 2005 Lack of social skills have always been our biggest worry. Our son starts high school in September, and how he copes with that - finding his way around, the journey, bullying - are a huge concern. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ceecee Report post Posted July 25, 2005 What concerns me most is the way the things they do because of their condition makes it very hard to form relationships with people.Also the way society continually misunderstands them because of peoples ignorance of the condition. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted July 25, 2005 I suppose I just have concerns about J's future generally. I don't know how things will pan out for him, how his AS will develop, whether we will find help and support for him to learn how to manage his condition. Right now, at six, he's not too different from a lot of his peers but I'm aware that this will change as the normality gap widens. Although I feel optimistic and hopeful, sometimes I also feel that I'm on the edge of a precipice and have no idea what the future holds. It's hard to feel so out of control in my son's life. Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
~Jonathan~ Report post Posted July 25, 2005 (edited) I've given up trying to fit in, I doubt I ever will. I 'look weird' whatever that means. I have a terrible temper, always have. Is that an AS trait I wonder? It's over very quickly but it's lethal while it's happening, I swear and throw tantrums, admittedly never when out in public though I lost countless jobs because I told people where they could go when they laughed at or criticised me. I am hyper-sensitive, get worked up, worried and upset easily and this concerns me. I wish I was calm, tried meditation but seems to make me more tense in the long run. I dread to think what will happen when Mum dies as she helps me with things. i find things like taking items back to shops hellish, always think they're going to say no. I have trouble with eye contact and this makes me appear aloof. I guess my biggest worry is that I'll be judged as unkind, unfeeling and cold when really I just find social situations draining and difficult. Banter, chit-chat, I find that hellish too. Edited July 25, 2005 by ~Jonathan~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klou Report post Posted July 28, 2005 Jonathan - life must be hard for you. I have to say I hate taking things back to shops too. And I find chit chat pointless. I can do it and do do it. But I wonder what the point is. The worst thing has to be the weather which my dad always moans english people are obsessed by yet everytime I speak to him his fist questions is 'What's your weather like?' Got another one for all those out there whose children or selves are undiagnosed know something is wrong and are waiting for the right diagnosis....... Well meaning friends who haven't any idea what it is like to live with your children. Do they really think we are doing all this because the system pressures us to or because we haven't anything better to do or because if we were just relaxed and calm and rational our children would be fine........ I am back to my 'child causes the parenting' rant again...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
~Jonathan~ Report post Posted July 31, 2005 Jonathan - life must be hard for you. It isn't life that's hard, it's a society that puts so much emphasis on what's 'normal' and what isn't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
