Jump to content

Recommended Posts

This topic has been created for people to openly discuss their gender. Whether questioning your gender, supporting another person questioning their gender or consider yourself on the trans* spectrum all are welcome. All gender identities will be respected whether genderqueer, non-binary, male to female, female to male or a mixture of different genders. Please respect peoples right to privacy regarding their gender.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It appears people are not comfortable discussing this topic I can understand that as it's something very personal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a sexuality thread was offered it was only fair to offer a trans thread as well because the t is often missed out in lgbt discussions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally agree and wasn't saying anything in any way that it should be. I was just making a comment on the lack of posts sorry if I appeared to be critical that wasn't my intention.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The mental image we provide ourselves can vary a lot.

 

I am male quite obviously, yet female. aggressive, rip your head off. The perfect Tom Cat.

 

Ian

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that's within us all all at times irrespective of who or what we are

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Transgender is when you are born with female body parts or male body parts but feel your gender doesn't match those body parts 100% of the time. So someone can feel they have no gender or a mixture of genders (both known as non binary or genderqueer) of the opposite gender to what their body parts tell them, male to female (for those born with male body parts) or female to male (for those born with female body parts). This causes mental distress to the affected person.

 

Male to female transgender folk would prefer to do what they considered female or neutral activities. Driving for example would not cause distress with their gender (unless they were labelled something involving their incorrect gender "stupid women driver" or "typical boy racer" for example) as it's considered a gender neutral activity. Wearing make up, dresses, skirts, painting fingernails, going on hen parties, going to female only clubs, could be possible activities for male to female transgender folk.

 

Female to male transgender folk would prefer to do what they considered male or neutral activities. Playing football, boxing, going on stag do's, going to male only clubs could be possible activities for female to male transgender folk.

 

There are transgender folk who dont really engage in typical male or typical female activities. But they have distress in other aspects of their lives, some trangender folk can manage with a name change and dressing permanently in their true gender. But others need hormones and surgery in order to feel 'comfortable in their own skin'. Even having a wee can set off distress in transgender folk.

 

Ally

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My response could technically be in either section, I am male and attracted to women but I see myself as quite feminine and like the idea of being a woman so I can have smooth skin, long hair and be able to be glam, and be asked out by the opposite sex, and it is a little strange but I wonder what pregnancy and childbirth and having periods is like.

 

I basically wish I can be a man one minute or a woman the next, probably a man in my leisuire time as I like more things associated with men such as certain video games and movies but a woman in public and when relaxing.

 

Its a strange thing though.

 

The only other thing is sexual related, I cannot ever perform sexually as a man as I am in a situation where as I have only ever under 6 times in my life been in a state of complete relaxation I dont know how to activate it for lack of better words so being a man in that sense is useless.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sexuality is very different to gender, there are straight trans folk, bi trans folk and gay trans folk.

 

Thank you for sharing your experiences. If you wished to get help further look up "gender identity clinics" or "gender identity disorder" on NHS choices.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Atypical gender identities are a lot more common in people on the autistic spectrum than in neurotypical people. So also are asexuality, hypersexuality and object sexuality. As you say, gender identity and sexuality are unconnected, but they are both largely genetically determined. The common factor is autism. It genetically predisposes us so that we are more likely to be 'different' in these ways - as well as in many other ways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love transgender people. There is nothing wrong with this. I've never told my family I don't care if a guy believes he should have been born a girl. They are not homophobic as such but I don't think my parents have much positive things to say about gay people. The word P-O-O-F or tranny is very nasty.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gold MD thanks for your support for transgender people. However homophobia and transphobia are very different things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Atypical gender identities are a lot more common in people on the autistic spectrum than in neurotypical people. So also are asexuality, hypersexuality and object sexuality. As you say, gender identity and sexuality are unconnected, but they are both largely genetically determined. The common factor is autism. It genetically predisposes us so that we are more likely to be 'different' in these ways - as well as in many other ways.

Excellent point there autism is the common factor with gender and sexuality.

 

I'm wondering if agender people are commonly on the autism spectrum?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gender dysphoria is 6-7 times more likely for those on autistic spectrum, than in the neurotypical population - highly significant. Many people on the spectrum see themselves as androgynous. This is an area needing much more research. My own research suggests that certain genes associated with autism predispose us towards gender dysphoria/androgyny. The trigger for this would be a hormone imbalance during a critical period of pregnancy. Similarly, such imbalances can also cause physical intersex conditions - the now banned drug diethylstilbesterol (DES) being the most notorious example.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder why it is higher on the autistic spectrum.

 

This subject has been bothering me for a few weeks now. I was born female. I've never felt female and would always describe myself as a tom boy. But I never really though of myself as male either. However my interests, personality, what few friends I've had, everything is distinctly male. Mum is always telling me off for buying boys t-shirts. And I hate with a real passion being treated as a girl. I've always wanted to be flat chested and I am so ashamed of, you know, that if I am changing in a changing room, I'll go into the toilets to change my top. And before I stopped wearing swimming costumes altogether, I would cover my chest with my arms. I also can't even talk about the other female stuff by name. It disgusts me. But until a few weeks ago that was it.

Then one of my support workers asked me outright. Not in a nasty way. But she thinks I might be and I might be happier if I went down that route.

 

Now I'm really confused. I don't know what to do. I don't know who or what I am or how I would deal with it in reality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Got to your gp and ask to be referred to a gender identity clinic. Tell your gp all the things you have mentioned here.

 

There is also ungendered (agender) and a mixture of genders as a posibility. Gender services in England are now funded in a way that a direct referal to your gender identity clinic is the right route.

 

Www.gires.org.uk is an excellent website regarding gender resources for patients.

 

Hope this helps. Feel free to private message me if you have any other questions.

 

Ally

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

https://spectrumnews.org/news/new-clinical-guidelines-address-gender-dysphoria-autism/

 

As a result of some quite extensive research, guidance has been produced for professionals working in gender medicine and those working in diagnosing autism to refer to the other service where possible.

 

This is happening to patients from teenage

So anyone who presents as trans when being given an autism diagnosis will be assessed for possible gender dysphoria.

 

Patients going to the gender identity services will be tested for autism if they present that way.

 

There's a number of concerns.

 

1, that people would have to disclose their sexuality because that can be confused with gender as well.

 

2, that a rise in autistic patients going through gender identity services will mean they get treated with less understanding and compassion due to old school values regarding what autistics can and cannot do or consent for treatment.

 

3, services will be unable to cope because patients are waiting for an autism diagnosis and this can hold up treatment.

 

4, how will post diagnostic services work in regards to gender identity services?

 

5, services being overprotective because there's not enough money so letting the easier cases through first.

 

 

Yes it is good to recognise autism and or gender dysphoria at an earlier age but only if the services aren't held up due to a lack of understanding as a result.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for posting this, Trekster. It's good to know that some initial guidelines have been developed. I read the article and followed the link to the first reference, but haven't found the actual guidelines. If anyone happens to have a direct link to the guidelines that would be of interest to me, and I guess others. I also note that this appears to be based in USA, not UK, though from what I can gather some gender clinics in the UK are doing some ASC screening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did look for the same guidelines in the uk but couldn't find any. Although I found a newspaper article in the uk but this seems to have gone.

Edited by trekster

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Definitly bookmarking that recent link. The support worker that asked me previously has been worried that because of my autism that when I am ready to go down that route I wouldn't get through the assessments because of my communication difficulties.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can the support worker or another person who understands you go with you to the assessments?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've found being trans and ASD really hard. I've heard from enough trans people to know transitioning can be hard at the best of times. But when you really struggle to communicate with people and cope with society, it adds a whole extra layer of hard. I'm not out to anyone IRL, only online, and I can't see this changing any time soon, which really sucks.

 

I haven't really used this forum much since I joined five months back, but I saw this thread and that it was a little under used, so I thought I'd poke my head up and say hi. No idea if there any other trans people around here, or if its just me, but here I am.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a conference every year called autscape which seems to have a gathering of 10+ autistic trans folk. Coming out is difficult for anyone both as autistic and as trans. Wenn Lawson has written some papers on autism and is out both as autistic and the as trans.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry about the slow reply trekster. I totally forgot to check back.

Yes my support worker would come with me. I already have them attend every medical appointment with me. But from my experience, not every medical person allows them to speak. Some refuse anything but me talking and don't allow them to help out.

 

Fade, that's a similar situation to me.

 

I keep on thinking about autscape. Maybe this is Year I do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The ones that refuse to allow my support workers to speak for me when I've given permission in the room at the time I refuse to see again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i am trans ftm and i didnt understand what i was until 30,after having years of being taught about gender differences between people by specialist teachers in my twenties, i came to a realisation that my whole life had been male-up until that realisation i saw male and female as the same thing, to me i see all humans as the same thanks to my unique mind and my visual perception, i was even outwardly male as a young toddler. so i came out as trans at 30 but no one wants to help me.

at my last care home,i was on the waiting list to see a gender identity clinic and the manager of that home at the time was extreme christian and was very against me being trans, she hid all the letters i recieved about the GIC and i got took off the waiting list.

in my new care facility,where i have a newer GP to,he refused outright to agree to suport a top operation [removal of boobs] and for testosterone because i have learning disability as well as moderate classic autism and also mental health issues [bipolar,psychosis,extreme anxiety],i was on the waiting list yet again-waiting a year,got sent a letter that was supposed to be filed in by staff as i couldnt understand it-nor can i write,it basicaly got put in a drawer in the office and never came out again so once again,i am taken off the waiting list and i am so fed up i want gender councilling,ive never had any councilling of any kind im a frigging mess.

no one will even help me legally change my name,support staff pass it on to the next staff on shift,then the next staff and so forth nothing gets sorted no one cares but to me being biologically female is a huge part of why i have mental health issues.

Edited by ProudAutie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome proudautie

Have you tried contacting your local NAS branch in Manchester regarding the lack of access for trans services? Im not sure if you access facebook? There is an account called 'scott grant' which if you add will allow TMSA to add you to their secret facebook group.

You can change your name legally by contacting an organisation that produces 'deed polls' or 'statutory declarations' all you need is one witness or two. Mencap or MIND might also be able to help you get the help you need.

"How can I best support somebody with a learning disability who is lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT)? 

Some people with a learning disability are lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT), or they might be questioning their sexual orientation or gender. You can best support them by talking to them about being LGBT, and reassuring them that it this is okay to be LGBT.

It is best practice for staff to be proactive in ensuring that the support and information they provide around sex and relationships is inclusive of LGBT people. In the provision of services there is a duty under the Equality Act 2010 to provide equality of opportunity to individuals with protected characteristics, including sexual orientation and gender reassignment.

There are resources available to help you support LGBT people with a learning disability:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/lgbtq-mental-health/#.WTslnuvyvIU

i have heard good things about MIND being LGBTQ friendly, in some areas there is a trans mindline

http://www.leedsandyorkpft.nhs.uk/our-services/gender-identity-service/ there is a telephone number on there, try ringing and explaining your situation to them. Ask them to help you fill in the forms, I have support workers help me fill in forms because my handwriting is poor. Explain to them you can't find anyone who is willing to help you fill in the forms.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 09/06/2017 at 11:54 PM, trekster said:

Welcome proudautie

Have you tried contacting your local NAS branch in Manchester regarding the lack of access for trans services? Im not sure if you access facebook? There is an account called 'scott grant' which if you add will allow TMSA to add you to their secret facebook group.

You can change your name legally by contacting an organisation that produces 'deed polls' or 'statutory declarations' all you need is one witness or two. Mencap or MIND might also be able to help you get the help you need.

"How can I best support somebody with a learning disability who is lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT)? 

Some people with a learning disability are lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT), or they might be questioning their sexual orientation or gender. You can best support them by talking to them about being LGBT, and reassuring them that it this is okay to be LGBT.

It is best practice for staff to be proactive in ensuring that the support and information they provide around sex and relationships is inclusive of LGBT people. In the provision of services there is a duty under the Equality Act 2010 to provide equality of opportunity to individuals with protected characteristics, including sexual orientation and gender reassignment.

There are resources available to help you support LGBT people with a learning disability:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/lgbtq-mental-health/#.WTslnuvyvIU

i have heard good things about MIND being LGBTQ friendly, in some areas there is a trans mindline

http://www.leedsandyorkpft.nhs.uk/our-services/gender-identity-service/ there is a telephone number on there, try ringing and explaining your situation to them. Ask them to help you fill in the forms, I have support workers help me fill in forms because my handwriting is poor. Explain to them you can't find anyone who is willing to help you fill in the forms.

trekster,you are awesome-thankyou! i will go through the information tonight as ive got to go sort out two bunnies,a 400l tank of fish and a naughty special needs support cat who needs medication syringing down him. thankyou again!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hope everyone manages over xmas, remember your identity is valid and you matter, only you know your gender identity. No one else can dictate to you who you really are.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, so it has been months since I last posted on here.  I figured this thread was the most appropriate to post again.

The reason for my absence is because I needed the time to figure out who I was.  Last time I was on here, I was questioning my gender and the whole thing was tearing me apart.

I have come to realise, I am transgender, ftm.  My support workers have been brilliant and have taken me clothes shopping.  But my parents (who barely accepted my autism and ADHD have taken it badly.

Anyway, I’m back, now that I’m more settled and beginning to live as male.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/6/2018 at 11:34 PM, MiddleEarthNet said:

Hi, so it has been months since I last posted on here.  I figured this thread was the most appropriate to post again.

The reason for my absence is because I needed the time to figure out who I was.  Last time I was on here, I was questioning my gender and the whole thing was tearing me apart.

I have come to realise, I am transgender, ftm.  My support workers have been brilliant and have taken me clothes shopping.  But my parents (who barely accepted my autism and ADHD have taken it badly.

Anyway, I’m back, now that I’m more settled and beginning to live as male.

I am really pleased that this thread has helped you to realise who you are. i wish you luck in your transition, feel free to ask any questions you have about transitioning on here or via Pm to me.

Recently i have been watching transformation street which although features mostly male to female patients has one female to male patient attending. The series is on channel 4 at 9pm on thursdays. Last monday the bbc 1 drama doctors featured a female to male trans character as well as a one off episode, it was very well written and portrayed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 20/01/2018 at 7:27 PM, trekster said:

I am really pleased that this thread has helped you to realise who you are. i wish you luck in your transition, feel free to ask any questions you have about transitioning on here or via Pm to me.

Recently i have been watching transformation street which although features mostly male to female patients has one female to male patient attending. The series is on channel 4 at 9pm on thursdays. Last monday the bbc 1 drama doctors featured a female to male trans character as well as a one off episode, it was very well written and portrayed.

Yeah this thread helped me loads.

I have watched Transformation Street.  One of my support workers there told me about it.  Before the first episode, I did wonder whether showing it to my parents would help them understand and accept but I think it will make things worse.  I’d have like a more even representation of male to female and female to male as I’m struggling to relate to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For those wondering about the guidelines in the UK, the Gender Services here *do* look at AS traits and refer for dx if they feel it is appropriate.  I tried to get an AS referral for child #2 several years ago and was told as "its different in girls" it would be almost impossible to get enough evidence for a dx.  Fast forward a few years of spiralling MH concerns, coming out at trans, then waiting for the Gender Identity Clinic (currently a 2  year waiting list for initial appointment!), and they were referred within the first few weeks, and dx'd with Autism less than a year into the process.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The general suggestion on the gender forums about the prevalence of AS people with gender non-conformity is that it may be down to the AS persons difficulty in understanding of  "conforming" or "normal" behaviour for their gender, and so they see themselves as an individual first, and only when they start putting together the expectations of specific genders they realise they do not conform to those expectations and therefore may be trans or gender non conforming which comes under the trans umbrella (included non-binary, gender fluid and agender).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

image.png.d93ccbf73a56d73ac821ab3b32691db3.png

For those who are trying to understand  gender/sexuality/expression this may help.  For example, you may be very feminine in your expression by wearing makeup, having long hair and preferring skirts, while being very masculine in your identity by seeing yourself as male, having male behaviours etc

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...