hev Report post Posted September 21, 2005 steve had a very good first 2 weeks but his contact book every day is bad now,today he hit a teacher with a ruler,if your child misbehaves at school do you reprimand them at home?i know that sounds silly but i dont know what to do,its been so long since hes been to school,also am i punishing behaviour he cant help?oh steves been diagnosed for 3 years now and im still like im at the start not knowing how to deal with things,any advice please Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted September 21, 2005 I would not punish him at home - for one, you do not know exactly what happened, and it may have been understandable if you did know + punishment is best delivered close to the behaviour. I would however reiterate to him that hitting is not an acceptable behaviour, and if you can work out what happened, talk to him about what woudl have been a more appropriate response. Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Hi Hev, So sorry Steve's having a rough time at the moment. Hang in there. <'> If my son did something like that at school, I used to explain why he shouldn't have done it ,but not punish him. If the incident happens in school, the school should have dealt with it. Also, punishment for incidents need to be instant, not hours later. Hope that helps, Annie <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted September 22, 2005 thanks,yeah that does make sense,i forgot that punishments have to be close to the incident,i just said to him he should have told teacher what was wrong before lashing out,thanks for replies sometimes i cant see what to do as im in the situation if that makes sense Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 22, 2005 I agree with Annie We have been where you are now, and I know it isn't easy. Another point to bear in mind is that if school is difficult it is more important than ever that home is somewhere that Steve feels accepted, loved and safe. You can gurantee that if he is hitting etc, he is stressed. it is best not to add to that by making him worry about how much trouble he will be in when he gets home. Similarly, he will avoid telling you about his day if he thinks he is going to be punished, which can create issues of his own. Best to tell him that you love him whatever he has done, and if he can tell you what happens you promise not to punish him for it. It doesn't mean you cannnot explain that what he did was wrong, but punishment would be counter-productive. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted September 22, 2005 Hang in there, Hev... A lot of children go through a 'honeymoon' period before having a few problems. We were warned this might happen by my son's special school. Hope things get better <'> Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
