Flora Report post Posted September 23, 2005 This is a rant. Just got back from the school where I delivered a very nervous anxious DS1. I then waited around because I wanted to collect a form from the head that I needed her to fill in about DS2 for an assessment at the dyslexia insitute. She's refused Doesn't have time, will have to talk to me, doesn't agree blah blah blah. My son is 8, in year 4 and has the literary skills of a child in year 1. He has dx of pragmatic language disorder which they totally refuse to acknowledge. He has a 3 year old report from an ed psych assessment which suggested he probably has dyslexia but was too young to diagnose at the time. He has no maths skills other than being able to count in 1's. He's had two lots of vision therapy and is still undergoing sound therapy (for his language disorder) which is what enabled him to have the reading skills and language skills he's now got. He gets no extra help at school whatsoever. What's more, I'm not asking them to do anything. I'm paying for the *$**ing assessment. I'm even (thanks to grannie) going to pay for lessons with the dys institute. I'm livid. All I wanted was for her to fill in a piddling little form which would have taken her no more than 10 mins then she would have had to do nothing else at all. She more or less said that she was too busy with my family already because I've had so many problems with DS1 and she has had to submit stuff to the LEA this week for him. Like it's my fault I have 2 children with learning difficulties and ASD I have a meeting with the head and ed psych about ds1 this afternoon. I'm going to make sure I'm ready for them. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Awww Lauren, you have my sympathy <'> He gets no extra help at school whatsoever. When you meet with the headteacher ask her if she has ever put your son on the SEN register/on a SEN list. Take some notes of what is being discussed, for your own records. When your meeting is just about to be over, tell her that you want a copy of the minutes of the meeting so that you can compare this information to your own notes. Good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 23, 2005 You must be livid. Ask the school to put in writing that they do intend to co-operate with the assessment. Make your request in writing and make sure you copy it to the LEA. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Keep calling her and pestering her one way or the other, and make it clear that it'll be quicker for her to fill int hat form than to have to listen to you over and over and over again. In the end she'll fill it in just to get rid of you... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted September 23, 2005 When you meet with the headteacher ask her if she has ever put your son on the SEN register/on a SEN list. Lauren, Looking back through your other thread:http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=3594, you mention that your son had an IEP... so he was on the SEN register/SEN list at either School Action or School Action Plus at some time or other. Did your son receive any help during that time? Is he still on the SEN register/SEN list? A headteacher had the right to remove a child from the SEN register - in consultation/agreement with the child's parents. If a child is on the SEN register, the school?s governing body must use their best endeavours to see that appropriate provision is made to any pupil who has SEN. For further information follow the link and scroll ? way down the page to section 1.8 The Duties of the Governing Bodies (2). The bit you need is titled ?The Governing body must:...? http://www.dfes.gov.uk/publications/guidan...ctice/page2.htm The 1996 Education Act, Section 317-(1)(a) and © state that the governing body must: a)do its best to secure the necessary provision is made for any pupil who has SEN. b)secure that, where the ?responsible person? ? the headteacher or an appropriate governor ? has been informed by the LEA that the pupil has SEN, those needs are made known to all who are likely to teach him, or her, and c) secure that the teachers in the school are aware of the importance of identifying, and providing for, those registered pupils who have special educational needs. Hope that is of some help to you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E=mc2 Report post Posted September 23, 2005 (edited) Lauren,It is sad that you are being p***ed about like this .So Next time you go into school and ask for a form to be filled in , Try this Make sure you a bit of scrap paper/old envolope Look at your watch or a clock and note the time(Make a point of looking). Then ask if the Head is in school,and again note the time that you asked. Find a nice comfy seat and sit down(dont ask if it is ok to take a seat,thats what they are there for) Now it is at this point( may be after a few minutes) someone will ask"Can I help you" to which you reply(nicely)"No you can not,but could you tell me your name", then say"but the Head can". Still following me. Now look again at the watch/clock and again note the time. If you have been there let say 15 mins again ask to speak to the head again.If they say He/She is unavailable ask "Doing what Please",You will be told some b*ll s**t story like "attending some school issuse".You then say I have been waiting to see/speak to the head and I am noting down the time I have been here and I would now like the name(s) of the school govenors as I am going to send them a letter of complaint. Then move back to the seat and sit down(note the time) and start to sing?whistle or drum your fingers/feet, this will arouse some attention,and if it does not sing a little loud(as the Head is a little deaf)or a bit faster with the drumming. Now if they still do not attend to you get up and pace a little. The point you have to make clear is you are still here and need to speak to them.Believe me you will get to see the head, BUT DO NOT GIVE UP or get angry. If none of the above works at least you have made a valid attempt to see the head. Go home and write the letter to the head and remind Him/her that you have sent a copy to the school govenors. Dont get angry get even Edited September 23, 2005 by E=mc2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Helen, thanks for your reply. The previous thread you mentioned was actually in reference to my other son. I have two sons at the same school one with AS and dyspraxia, and the younger one with ASD and language disorder. However, the information you have given me is fab and has given me something to work on before my meeting. I can take them to task on the fact that I've provided them with all the pschy reports and dx reports they need... and they've totally disregarded them since we relocated to this area 2 years ago.... BIG thank you for that information Helen. It's not very often the opportunity arises to take the head teacher and ed psych to task at the same time.... I'm going to use it as best I can. Thanks to everyone for your advice and words of support. I'll update when I get back later. Lauren XX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Good luck with the meeting this afternoon, hope it goes O.K. My son was assessed at the dyslexia institute prior to his statement. A private educational physch usually does the assessments, you should get a really good idea of how your son is doing. I n my report it actually stated my son met the criteria for formal assessment and needed statementing, as his reading writing abilities were so low, bottom 3%. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Ok, so we had the meeting and I felt really deflated afterwards. Basically they were telling me why they think he doesn't need a statement. They were giving me all the facts and figures followed by 'and it's the same with LEA's all around the country'... to which I replied that it wasn't the case as I knew people with children with AS who had statements. At this point the ed psych blinked at me and blustered something (don't remember what though ). I couldn't type everything that went on or was said, it would be too long and I haven't really got my head around it all yet, (thankfully I made some notes during) but the up shot is they were determined (and more or less succeeded ) in steering the meeting towards trivia.... They talked for ages about how we could teach him to tie his shoe laces... my son that is not the ed psych . They talked for ages about other kids Regarding my other son who is going for assessment for dyslexia, I casually asked the head prior to the meeting if I could have a copy of his IEP (after all he is on the SEN register for SP/LD/ dyslexia) To which she replied 'oh we haven't got one, I don't do them, we find it works well without them'.... What am I dealing with here? Am I mad or is it them???? To make things worse I still haven't been able to have a conversation with anyone from the parent partnership so I have no idea whether I'm handling this badly or not. Once again I've come away from a meeting feeling like they want to fob me off and make me feel like a hysterical mother. I AM bordering on hysterical but not for the reasons they want me to feel it, it's because of the frustration and anger that they are making out they are helping when it is quite clear they are not. I really don't want to fall out with the school but how long is it reasonable to be patient and respectful while trying to fight for your children? I know so many on this forum are going through this now, have gone through this before, and will probably continue to go through this. What can we do? Would putting together a petition and quietly (while informing all the media) deliver it with a dignified lobby to 10 Downing Street. I'm rambling I know but when do we say enough is enough? When is it time to stop being reasonable? Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alphazebra Report post Posted September 23, 2005 <'> , sorry I have no advice on this but will be thinking of you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Well done Lauren, don,t feel deflated your doing what we have all done or would do in the circumstances. The school don,t sound terribly experienced in all this, I wonder how many children the current head has put through the statementing process?........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Hi Lauren, I would give http://www.ipsea.org.uk/ a call first thing Monday morning and ask for their advice. The school sound like they are going all out to do.......nothing. So I would bring in the big guns (IPSEA) now. Let us know how you get on. Annie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Lauren you have my sympathy, Take Annie's advice and give IPSEA a call, they will give you great advice. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Thanks to all of you XXX you're all marvellous. I'll be ringing IPSEA first thing Monday morning. A good nights sleep and I'll be back to full strength. It's been said before, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down, and gather the tools and strength for the next battle. Night night all... and thank you. Don't know where I'd be without the help and advice on here. <'> Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted September 23, 2005 Lauren, I'm sorry the meeting didn't go as you hoped it would, you have my sympathy <'> Have a rest over the weekend, you deserve it <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted September 24, 2005 Hi Lauren Don't feel bad. This is par for the course and if as much time was spent in trying to help our kids as is spent in trying to fob us off, then we would have a lot less to be angry about. It is like walking through very sticky treacle. The Parent Partnership Service will be able to hold your hand but will not be able to give you anything other than 'impartial' advice - so go with IPSEA for your advice Best wishes HelenL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted September 24, 2005 Hi Lauren, From this point on all communication in writting to the school. Set out the points you want addressed in the letter, point by point. Include a copy of the form you want signed (unless they have done this now). Give them 3 days to respond to your questions before you intend to take the matter to a higher power. Monday, contact the LEA and ask for the name and contact details of the SEN inclusion officer and make sure their name is mentioned in the letter to school. That way they know you have the details of the 'higher power' and this is not a bluff. The fact that you have more than 1 child at the school with SEN issues is irelevant. You deal with the needs of each of them as a seperate issue, so should the school. Having done that contact IPSEA. The school are not doing their job from what you say. All the extra support in plcae seems to be comming from you! They are ducking their duty. In the letter to school I'd be asking the following (at least): What level of additional support is my child getting? How often? For how long? From who? What ongoing assesment is being carried out? What level of support is my child on and how often is this reviewed and by whom? I am sure you ca think of more! Make it very clear they have 3 days (give a date) to issue a response. CC it to the chair of governors. Good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites