Jadensmum Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Hi all, Just lately I've been thinking about what will happen to J if something happens to me. (I am thinking years and years from now - I hope ! ) J's dad doesn't have any involvement with him (his choice) but his name is on J's birth certificate. I would like my mum to look after J (which she wants to do also) so do I go and make a will? Can I do this? Has anyone else done anything like this?? Denisex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madme Report post Posted November 7, 2005 Hi, You really need to see a solicitor. You need a properlt drawn up will. Please take the time to do this as otherwise your views will not be considered. Good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted November 7, 2005 With the circumstances I would agree that seeking a solicitors advice would be the best bet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted November 7, 2005 There is some information about Wills and Trusts on this thread:http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=336&st=0entry34560 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted November 7, 2005 sorry about that: http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...t=0entry34560 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Report post Posted November 8, 2005 Hi. Yes as far as I know you can make a will you may not even need a solicitor but I think you need some witness to sign and confirm that it is your signature on the document or something like this. I am quite sure you can find some good advice on the net you may even be able to do the paper work on the net and then just go for signature ... I really should do one as well, can't think about it at the moment... Take care <'> Malika. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elanor Report post Posted November 8, 2005 Yes, get a will - there's nothing morbid about it, it's common sense. I had mine made up as soon as I had my first child. Avoid specialist will companies - most solicitors will do a will for a fixed fee. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
witsend Report post Posted November 10, 2005 Hi Jm - it's not morbid it's just really sensible, I had to make a will recently after my divorce and I have said I want my sister to have my boys should anything happen to me, obviously you need to make sure the person you're naming is happy with the arrangement. My son also does not have contact with his father and my solicitor said it was v important I made a will so that any court would know and respect my wishes for who is to look after my kids. It's not a cheerfull thing to have to do but I did feel a lot better once I'd done it - now i can just forget about it. Also it's not too expensive and sometimes solicitors have make a will free weeks! Just get it done and off your mind - take care Luv Witsend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sam5886 Report post Posted November 11, 2005 I have just sorted my will with the invaluable help of a solicitor found through Mencap as I wanted to make sure my son would be looked after long term rather than just getting a pot of money when/if hubby and I go 'off planet'. It cost �140 and really put my mind a rest as she was full of helpful suggestions. Sam x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MelowMeldrew Report post Posted November 11, 2005 I think it is vital to make a will, especially noting your wishes on care and support. I have no immediate relations or extended reliable family to help out if anything happens to me, there's no grandparents alive, or siblings living in this country even. I cannot even put next of Kin on his school contacts, except for me and Mum. I often worry what on earth will happen if I even got ill for a few months, his mum would really struggle alone. I save money for him as I am able, but he cannot operate an account of any kind, it's a real issue. I live in dread he will be a ward of the state if anything happens, they have made such a mess so far haven't they ? He'd be just another statistic, I lay awake some nights just worrying about the future. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted November 11, 2005 I'm in a bit of a rush so I'll try and make this quick. It's not just important to make a will but to set up a trust fund for your offspring. If you don't do this any money left in your will could be used for the disabled persons care. MENCAP and The Princess Royal Trust for Carers can explain in detail. The Krism link given by Helen further up this thread has details. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted November 11, 2005 We too need to make a will - hubby and I looked into this and you can make a "mirror will" between you which saves time and money. But please go via a solicitor, my uncle didn't. He left his house in his will to us children but unfortunately it said: "I leave my house to the children of xxx (my mum and dad)" this meant that we had to wait until my mum couldn't physically conceive any more children before we got the money from the house. He died when I was 10 so that was a long wait! Daisy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jadensmum Report post Posted November 11, 2005 Thank you so much everyone for your replies I'm quite aware (and have resigned myself to the idea) that J will probably be living at home with me for a very long time so it really has been worrying me that if some thing happened to me or my parents - what would happen to him???? His dad has shown very little interest in him so far and even less interest in Autism and Epilepsy so my parents and my niece would be the natural choices to give him the care and support he needs. He has a Child Trust fund set up for him aswell as a savings account. I'm definitely going to make an appointment with my solicitor and get it sorted. Thanks again guys!! Denisex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted November 14, 2005 Yep to getting a will done. We just had ours done. My hubby is American and the kids both have dual nationality and I wanted it in writing that if anything happened to my hubby or I that the kids were kept in the UK with my family because they know Logan, and know how to care for him (mostly!). I'd like them to keep in contact with my ILs obviously but would hate them to be caught in some custody struggle and potentially dragged off to a strange place. I think its being practical rather than morbid! Lynne x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted November 14, 2005 What happens to an AS child if he is suddenly alone? What kind of care does s/he get? I am also very worried about this because my son's dad lives abroad and has a new family and no interest in his first born son. I also have no relatives in the UK . Once I asked a solictor about a will and he said that the Courts may not always give custody to the person named in the will as they have to see first the interests and wishes of the child. Does anyone know more about this? Gloria Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted November 14, 2005 I have wondered about this too. My kids don't all have the same Dad and i would hate for them to be split up. Do ou have to name who you DON'T want to have them as well as who you do want to have them should i pop my clogs? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jadensmum Report post Posted November 15, 2005 Hi Kirstie and Curra, I am going to get this sorted in the next couple of weeks. If I found out any more info I'll let you know Denisex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
