hev Report post Posted November 13, 2005 i asked for an assessment from social services and they are coming tomorrow,i just feel so nervous,they are bringing a woman from disabilities,the reason i got in touch with them was cos it was school holidays and me and steve was arguing,he kicked me so i pushed him and i felt i needed some respite as i felt awful for pushing him,im regretting telling them i pushed him now as im thinking will they want to take him off me,i know i worry all the time but i cant help it,i feel like people in authority can override me but my partner is going to be here and he is very good at speaking to people,me i get upset or it comes out aggresive,i do need respite in holidays etc though,do they come for an assessment then write a report to say if we can have respite,or tell me on the day?i know im panicking as im the one who asked for the appointment,any advice please Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted November 13, 2005 They will not tell you on the day. I think you are supposed to get a copy of the assessment sent to you (I've not had one). Clarify whether it is an assessment of your son's needs, or of your (the carer's) needs and word your answers accordingly. I never did find out what my assessment was, and I think that was partly where I went wrong. Make sure you remove all sharp/heavy implements before she comes - just in case you are overcome with the urge to hit her - lol! Good luck. Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted November 14, 2005 <'> <'> <'> good luck Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted November 14, 2005 Hope everything goes well, pleased to hear you've got your partner there for support. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted November 14, 2005 Hope it all goes well,try not to worry <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 14, 2005 Hi hev, Hope the assessment has gone OK. K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lorryw Report post Posted November 14, 2005 Hi Hev, How did the assessment go? A waste of time or a real help? Love Loraine xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisann Report post Posted November 14, 2005 Hi Ya Hev just wondered how you ass' went hope it went smoothly. Lisa x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted November 14, 2005 Hope everything went well for you hev Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted November 14, 2005 i think it went well!!they cant offer me respite in the holidays as hes not profoundly disabled((her words!)i think she meant not severe enough,it all feels severe to me,going to try a befriend scheme where someone comes in and takes him out but they dont think he fits the criteria not very good visit really,nothing sorted Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisann Report post Posted November 14, 2005 yep that about sums by dealing with them not serve enough they owt to try living with the disablity they'd soon change their minds. Never mind nothing lost by trying Lisa x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lorryw Report post Posted November 15, 2005 Sorry you drew a blank Hev. Its really pathetic and so disappointing for you. Its probably taken a huge effort by you to get in touch with them in the first place. Will they be sending a report to you? Did they give you the usual flannel about what a wonderful Mum you are and how well you cope? Love Loraine xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted November 15, 2005 it took me years to get in touch with social services,its like you open your heart and nothing gets done,you are telling complete strangers things you dont even tell your family cos you think they are going to help and nothing oh they said to steven your mum loves you very much,patronisibg i found them,i dont want this to put anyone off contacting social services because it might differ from area to area but im very disapointed,oh well onwards and upwards! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lorryw Report post Posted November 15, 2005 My experiences with SS are no better and my sons an adult. I think the problem is the general public very rarely have any dealings with them (lucky them) and they are under funded and understaffed. No one creates a fuss and just gets on with things as best they can until a crisis hits them. Im afraid I dont have any answers, although I have recently involved an advocacy service and hope they may provide some help. Perhaps they have such a service in your area. You could always ring the Carers Trust (have a look on Google) they may be able to help in some way. I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment but dont give up. Love Loraine xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted November 15, 2005 Hi Hev, Sorry to hear that your long awaited visit hasn't got you anything worth having. An advocacy service might be able to work on your behalf to get them to do something, as Loraine suggested. I wish I could say SS are different in our area but they have been as much use as a chocolate teapot - so I sympathise. We have had two or three visits from a social worker who takes loads of notes and makes loads of promises. He knows nothing about the education system - (you'd expect a SW from the disabilities team to know just a teeny bit about the statementing process, wouldn't you??)They didn't even offer us anything when we were in crisis and struggling all alone - now things have improved I bet they will be even more conspicuously absent. I agree with you Loraine, they are underfunded and understaffed. The SW doesn't even return our calls nowadays. K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted November 15, 2005 Thanks for making me laugh hev! Read your post: "i think it went well!!" I was surprised - but then I went on to the "they can't do this - we can't have that" and the the ending - "not very good visit really,nothing sorted" Nothing new there then - lol! Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted November 15, 2005 Hev, <'> I agree with Loraine, get in touch with The Princess Royal Trust for Carers (Carers Centre) this is their new website. http://www.carers.org./ They may even act as an advocate for you, attending meetings and making phonecalls etc. If you register they will put you on the mailing list for a newsletter. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted November 15, 2005 It's pretty mince actually, we went to a social worker before Lew had his dx but she didn't have a clue about disabilities or how to help us a s afamily at crisis point. When he was dx we were instantly referred to the early years autism social worker attached to the hospital and she is brilliant. She is a wealth of information and does actually understand how hard life can be for everyone. She has done section 23 for me to see what sort of help, respite we could get. Why don't all hospitals have these? it's just not good enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slt101 Report post Posted November 15, 2005 Why don't all hospitals have these? it's just not good enough. Two reasons: 1, money (the lack of funding in SS is breathtaking) 2, the lack of suitably qualified and experienced staff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted November 16, 2005 I know a GP who reckons, to quote his words, 'there is money sloshing around the NHS system' but that it isn't being managed properly. You just have to look at the inflated salaries of the NHS admin managers to see that the money isn't being managed properly. It's being held together by celetape and bursting at the seams with pointless beurocracy Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted November 16, 2005 got a call from ss today,she said there is a talk tonight on in the next town to me about living with aspergers,i know there are talks and courses on,i know about living with aspergers,i dont need them,i need respite for me and stevens sake,thanks for the link nellie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
