Next step?

[sis9098]

Hi all - I am very new here, but I am feeling alone and unsure.

 

I have always worried about my 7yr old son J from only a couple of weeks old, but to be honest over the years I have often put this down to me being over sensitive -his older brother only lived a few moments after birth.

 

He did not 'connect' with me the way his sister did. Slept very little or was sick. Walked late, talked late and when he finally did we could not stop him. He fixates and is often repetative. He is a couple of years behind his peers reading and writing is still a work in progress. The list of little or big things goes on and on..........

 

So what finally got me to talk to a doctor and say loud and clear we need help? None of the above. I just thought that was him, his little ways. We are very close.

 

What finally did it was that I can see he is lonely..........very down......even anxious and depressed. He is a wonderful and loving boy that we adore, but it broke my heart seeing him choose not to be with others. He accepts he has to go to school, but it is very hard some days. Friends call for hims and he will not go out, often being off hand with them. Lunch and play at school is a time when he is usually alone too.

 

I thought it was the reading, I was expecting something like dyslexia when we saw the paediatric consultant, not Asbergers! Never! I came home and cryed for a couple of hours, and have cried more since between reading every thing I can find, including a book by Tony Attwood recomended by the consultant.

 

But what do I do now??? We see the doc again in april, and between then J takes fish oil and carrys on as normal, but I dont feel I should just wait! SENCO is my next port of call, but they can't 'fit me in' until the new term in january, although she was very appologetic and reasurring on the phone. (I do understand this is a busy time of year for her, but still...........I feel like I am going to burst)

 

All this is just like being hit in the stomach - 1 visit to my GP, a questionaire and a visit to a consultant is all the prep I have had, and I don't know what to do. The Senco teacher did not seem surprised at the diagnosis, so why didn't she say something, anything?

 

How can I be sure this is really what my son has? Attention Deficite was also mentioned, but I could not take any more in. Do you know when reading articles and books that this is 'your child'?

 

I beg you to forgive my rambling manner, but my head is all over the place, I even took a sicky off work today just to get a grip. Any comments and suggestions would be so gratefully received, particularly any thing that I should ask the professionals.

 

With many thanks

Sarah

[smiley]

<'> Sarah <'>

 

I can remember feeling exactly as you do when my son was diagnosed, and i was expecting it! It still hits like a sledge hammer.

 

Its a rollercoaster of emotions that many of us here can identify with, so pleased don't feel like your all alone <'>

 

The best thing you can do now is read all you can, theres lots of advice on this site, (we're a friendly bunch so keep asking questions ), get support from whoever you can, take it easy and be kind to yourself <'>

 

He's still your lovely little boy <'>

 

Mary xx

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi Sarah and welcome to the forum,

 

First of all big <'> <'> <'> . The diagnosis hits you like a brick and you'll be reeling with emotions for some time to come.

 

Please remember that your little boy is the same person he was before he was diagnosed and eventually you will learn various techniques to help him to come to terms with his condition.

 

My AS son (now 9) used to be the most miserable boy in the world until his dx and now even friends I haven't seen for a while have noticed how much happier and settled he is since his diagnosis was confirmed because now we understand him better.

 

Keep strong. There's loads of friendly advice here with the Krismites, learn and enjoy

 

Daisy

[lindy-lou]

hi sarah

 

the best thing to do is stay here and read read read,the more information you can learn about your sons condition the more you can help him and yourself,you also come to realise that its not the end of the world and just because your son isnt the same as other kids that doesnt neccasarily have to be a bad thing,theres loads of support on here and no one wil judge you on the way you feel,we all deal with it differently and no one way is right,but it helps to have others who understand to talk to,so welcome to krism and heres a big <'> for you.

 

lynda x

[ceecee]

Have some of these <'> <'> <'>

 

The best thing you can do is gain as much knowledge as possible and here is an excellent place to start.remember he is the same little boy that you had before diagnosis.people with A>S> have many endearing qualities.

 

Take care.Stay strong.

[oracle]

Hi Sarah,

 

You have just stepped into the best forum on the internet What ever you want to ask just ask it. We have all been where you are now and are all still here to tell the tale Try to hang on to that. Also try to remember that your son has not changed. He was born with AS and so he's the same son you has last month and last year. The only thing that has really chnaged is you have a name for the things that he finds difficult. There are also quite a few positives it's not all doom and gloom.That's actually a good starting point. There is a wealth of information and understanding right here.

 

Welcome aboard <'>

 

Carole

[elun1]

Hi Sarah

<'> <'> <'> I really feel for you. It comes as a huge shock even if you've always known something is wrong. My little boy was diagnosed 2 years ago with severe autism and Learning difficulties. Think he will also get ADHD diagnosis but he is a bit young for that one (still only aged 4) The pain of it doesn't ever totally go, but it does fade over time and knowledge is power when you're getting services for your child so learn all you can. However, I overdid this a bit and read everything I could lay my hands on. You don't have to do it all at once. Try and be patient with yourself while you're adjusting. This is a lovely supportive site and I wish I'd know about it when ds was diagnosed. There's a lot of info on here as well as support.

Take loads of care, Elun xx

[loulou]

Hi Sarah, <'>

 

Welcome to the forum. I'm sure you will find it an excellent source of information and support. I think without Krism i would not have coped.

 

I have a 7 year old son with ASD and ADHD. It's hard watching them suffering at school, but now you have your diagnosis, things should move on for you.

 

I felt like i was grieving when Kai was diagnosed (earlier this year), but now i am coming to terms with it. Krism has helped me to understand alot of his behaviours and i feel less "angry" with him, because i know he can't help it.

 

I hope you find this forum a comfort (i really did),

 

Loulou x

[Suze]

..............Hi Sarah, my son was 6 when I had a call from the Head saying she had done some tests with him and he was very bright ...........then she went on to say that this worried her as his reading and writing was so poor, she mentioned dyslexia.A year later he was also dx dyspraxic and then with ASD/AS.It took a long time to sink in, but the dx gave me a greater understanding of my son, and a clearer insight into what it is like to be him. I joined a local nas support group and have been a member ever since , the other parents there helped a lot.Meeting other children with ASD/AS helped as I saw how diverse, different and special they all are. My son struggles in a lot of areas, but he also excels in others, his ASD has also given him some gifts.He does fantastic impressions, has a lovely singing voice,remembers everything, and has a wicked sense of humour .This forum is great, stay around

[DAS999]

Sarah, I really do feel for you. My girlfriend (mid 20's ASD) has recently had a diagnosis and it is hard. It is a why me? why them? why us? how did it happen? why has s/he got it? what did i do wrong? and so on and their is no real answer. your not lucky or unlucky its just life and as time passes it will become life again and in 5 years you will be plodding through the days as you were a few days ago. It does not change the person with the diagnosis hopefully it will just change people's attitcudes to them hopefully make people more understanding and helpfull. I contacted the NAS NAS and they sent me through some info which was usefull.

Waiting lists are long we waiting 2 months to see the first doc, another 4 to see the next and now we are waiting for CBT. we were told it could be 6 months!

This is the BEST place for info and support in language you can undersatnd. people are always willing to give advise and support. whith out this place I would have been off the local bridge months ago! Stick around and I wish you all the bast.

XXX

[barefoot wend]

Sarah

 

I have to say that coming here so early on must be a huge shock to the system. The really good news is that 'here' is brilliant but I can imagine that going over all the posts is a very steep learning curve.

 

You obviously love your son very much and no 'diagnosis' can ever change that.

 

Barefoot