May I have some advice please?

[Bullet]

Hello to everyone on this forum . I hope you don't mind me posting, as my son (who I am asking about) hasn't had a diagnosis, but he has been referred to a developmental centre as myself, my health visitors and our GP are all concerned about him. Basically, I would like to know whether it sounds as though he might be on the ASD spectrum to a significant degree.

He is two and a half and I've had concerns about him for a while. He did have glue ear, which I think was used to explain a lot of his behaviour but he has had grommits put in last May and - as I'll explain later - I know he can hear perfectly well now. I also suspect that before his glue ear was not that bad.

This is a list of what is voncerning me about him:

He has an excellent vocabulary (albeit very poor pronunciation) but it is all repetition and parrot fashion. He will remember phrases he's heard and repeat them back to you hours or days later. There is also immediate repetition as well. However, there is no spontaneous, off his own bat language. Eg he can repeat back to you lines from a story, but he won't say "cat" if he sees our cat. He has said a couple of spontaneous things in his lifetime and only one of those he was looking at me.

He has very poor eye contact and it's difficult to tell if he's listening or paying attention. I know he can understand me and does listen as sometimes I've said something and he's reacted in the right way.

He does not point at things, unless it's the Tellytubbies on the computer. Even then, he does not look at me (or anyone) to get a reaction. It's more as though he's pointing it for his own benefit.

If something unusual happens, he does not react, or look at others to see how they are reacting. Eg I have a nearly four month old baby as well and my older lad did not react at all at me holding the baby in the hospital. And on Christmas Day he completely ignored all the presents until we had opened them (did not wonder what all the boxes were) and had no comprehension it was a special day.

However, with his everyday routines he is fairly rigid. Eg in the morning if I change his brother's nappy after his he gets upset because we are not going down straight away for breakfast. However, he is fine about me paying attention to his brother first.

If he needs help with something, he will pull me over to what he wants and manipulate my hands. If I feign ignorance to try to get him to speak he will drop my hands, show me what he wants with his hands and then manipulate my hands again.

He is very good with peg puzzles and building blocks, but with his other toys he tends to concentrate on small, repetitive movements. Eg he likes to line up his toys, press buttons on them, watch wheels spin, touch his soft toys faces, but shows no "progressive" play. Eg he won't push his cars along unless you show him first and then he'll only do it a couple of times.

There's probably a load more, but I've probably exhausted you all

[oracle]

From what you have posted then I would say that it is good that he has been refered to an assessment centre.

 

I see a great deal of my eight year old in the desciption of your son when he was younger - but that does not mean that your son has autism. The repetition is called Echolalia and means that he repeats phrases and sentences but may not really understand what he is repeating. However Echolalia is good because it helps a child to learn language and the understanding will come. Do you think that he knows that the cat is a cat? If perhaps one day you had hold of the cat and you said to him dog he may respond by saying cat. He is very young and the language alone is not enough to place him on the spectrum but some of the other things you have posted would tie in with ASD.

 

This is a brilliant forum with a wealth of knowledge and understanding that parents, professionals and people with ASD are only too happy to share.

 

Spend sometime reading though topics and see if any of it rings a bell with you? And most of all feel free to ask us anything that's what we are here for.

 

Welcome

 

Carole

[something_different]

hi

 

just wanted to say hello and welcome to the forum

[Bullet]

Thank you both for replying . My worries are probably heightened by the knowledge that I am almost certainly quite far along the ASD route myself. Never been diagnosed (I'm thirty so spent my childhood just thinking I was odd) but a brief list of things about myself include:

Unable to show (and often feel) emotion or say when something is bothering me (sounds so trivial but I can't explain it very well.

Need to have a set routine with things. I get panicky if we're going out as I need to plan everything.

Not received pronunciation, but no definable accent. Also pauses in odd places when speaking.

Very narrow interests. It's a big step if I read a different sort of book.

I do have a very good imagination.

I rapidly shake and flap my hands if I'm trying to get a point across or am upset about something.

Oops, should say I live in Shropshire, not the Norfolk Broads!

Edited January 2, 2006 by Bullet

[nikrix]

Hi Bullet and welcome

 

You are among friends here and will get all the support and advice you need.

 

Nikirx

[Bullet]

Thank you . Can I clarify something on my last post? I do feel emotion, but a lot of the time feel very detached and as though I was empty. I get very angry over trivial things and feel great love for my husband and children, but in a lot of ways it's as though I'm thinking of myself as a separate person.

[Elanor]

Hi Bullet - it's nice to 'meet' you.

 

From what you say, I can understand why your son has been referred for assessment - I hope you don't have a long wait. Try to keep a written record of all the little things that he does - it might help during the assessment.

 

There are lots of adults here (parents and others) who also have AS (or suspect they do). I hope you find the group useful, and I'm sure you'll find us friendly.

 

Take care

 

Elanor

[bid]

Welcome, Bullet

 

I can identify very much with many of the things you describe about yourself <'>

 

I hope you find this forum a good place to be!

 

Bid

[rainbow queen]

<'> HELLO <'>

[Steve_colour-se7en]

Hello Bullet,

 

 

My name is Steve

I see a great deal of myself, and my seven year old ( both Asperger's )in the desciption of your son when he was younger - However, does that mean that your son has autism not all.

The verbal repetition is as Carole writes is indeed called 'Echolalia'

The term Echolalia - is the repetition or echoing of verbal utterances made by other person. It has been reported to 75% of autistics exhibit echolalia in some form. However I feel the fact that Echolialia in the broader sense of the word can indeed help a child learn a language through repetition ( most people do this, to teach younger children words) - this is not meaning that most are on the spectrum, as indeed it doe's not imply your child to be on the spectrum either.

Some of the other points you mention, I feel personally- yes it is quite possible -Some traits may indeed indicate the possiblity of ASD to be there, Just as much as possible is the fact that ASD may not be there. I am not meaning to evasive of anything from your post, but I do believe that the best course of action you can take, based on your suspicions at this moment in time, you are or have actually done already which is to obtain a professional opinion of things, I agree with Elanor you should attempt to write things down that are of concern to you.

 

Steve..

 

I think the boy means well but he is distinctly inclined to be inattentive......

Tutor of Winston Churchill to Lord Randolph Churchill,

Winston's father

[ameretto]

Bullet;

 

My son has a diagnosis of High Functioning ASD and your description of your son reminded me forcefully of his behaviour as a toddler. So i think the referral route you are on is certainly worth pursuing although of course your son is still young and there may be alternative explanations.

 

How is your husband reacting to the situation and referal? I have noticed that often fathers resist any suggestion that their child may not be 'perfect' and this can cause tensions in relationships, but there is no harm in an assessment and i think your instincts are sound.

 

About the 'Norfolk Broads' thing; i'm quite new here too and it confused me at first. It is a measure of how much you post in this forum, not a reference to geographical location; if you hang around here and chat long enough you will become 'Snowdon' and so on.

 

Good luck,

 

Natasha

[Bullet]

Thank you for all your replies . My husband is being very supportive and he says that although he would be upset he will love our son just as much as he does. As my lad is so young, I dod not expect a definite diagnosis just yet. But by getting him on the referral list now, if he does turn out to have ASD then hopefully he can have early intervention.

The only real thing I am bothered about is his communication. I have had PECS and signing suggested, both of which are excellent ideas, but I need to speak to the speech and language therapist for advice on how to go about them. He can play how he wants to, it makes him happy

A couple more things about him, he flaps his hands a bit and loves spinning round. He loves rough and tumble games, but also enjoys peekaboo. He has an excellent memory and is very affectionate, but on his terms. He kisses with his forehead. If we go out he wanders around a lot and tends to go somewhere quiet and play on his own.

[Suze]

Hi ya Bullet glad you found this great forum ,your doing the right thing getting the refferal, in the meantime perhaps jot down your concerns and worries then you have something to show the experts when you see them.Your son sounds like a great lad , hope your coping o.k. with your new arrival, there are lots of topics/threads on here about routine , stratergies, pecs etc and many very wise people on here to give help and advice.Suzex.

[phasmid]

Welcome on baord the board Bullet. The advice from Suze is good. Any questions you thnik of as you wait could also be jotted down as well.

[neda]

Hey bullet

 

Welcome to the forum. I can relate to the kissing with the forehead bit, my wee boy who is nearly 4 is being assessed just now. I've never had a kiss as such from him, I get the forehead put forward and thats as good as it gets and I'm the only one he'll ever do it for. My cousin who has a very affectionate little girl once told me that I shouldn't say he didn't like it when she asked for a kiss as that was probably why he didn't want a kiss. This cousin has now realised that no one gets a kiss and if persistently asked he screams or lashes out, he has now seen this when he did it to his little girl who was chasing him for a kiss.

 

As for the peek a boo at this present moment I have him sitting on back of my seat, sticking his head round side of my face and shouting boo, at least he thinks its funny. His other thing is knock knock jokes, but only the knock knock part, when I say who is there I get banana, orange, or apple and when I say apple who he laughs as if he has just told the best joke in the world and starts again.

 

I'm sure you'll get the support you need from here.

[Bullet]

Just a quick update. My lad has his assessment on the 16th January, which is sooner than I thought. I think they must want to get things in motion quickly, just in case. I'm not expecting a firm diagnosis for a while, but if they do strongly believe I'd like them at least to say he is showing signs if they think it is. I'd rather know one way or the other. Things like his playing and his routines I'm not bothered about, they help to make him who he is. But I do want him to have help with his communication.