what did i do wrong?

[jools]

when G is on the computer we use a timer for him to come off and it works well most of the time.

he always plays fifa and if he is in the middle of a match he asks if he can finish it and we always yes....he then comes off without too much of a fuss 99% of the time.

 

he has just been playing when his timer went off......before he had chance to ask me i said 'yes G you can finish the match'.....BIG mistake.

 

started shouting and screaming that he hadn't asked any questions and i shouldn't have said anything. slammed the keyboard, thumped the door and started to cry.

i've sent him to his room to cool off with him screaming he hasn;t done anything

 

i was so unprepared for that response.

 

i'm going up now to try and talk to him

[Guest flutter]

maybe you broke the pattern by saying something??

i dunno sorry

<'> <'>

hope all is better now

[asereht]

Not sure what it could have been. Maybe he wasn't doing well in the fifa game? Hope he is ok now.

[phasmid]

flutter may have hit the nail on the head. If he normally asks you to be allowed to finish the game and you pre-empted that by telling him he could carry on before he'd asked, that could be enough to do it. Sometimes it can be really stupid things like that that can trip a meltdown. He may not be able to explain it to you though even if it was this that caused it.

[nellie]

I agree, I think you simply didn't follow the procedure carried out previously. The change was too much for him. It could also be that you interrupted his train of thought.

 

Nellie xx

[jools]

thanks

 

he's calmed down (just) after working himself into a frenzy.

he can't tell me why he got so upset but yes you are probably right......i think i've interrupted his train of thought and haven't done things in the right order.

 

i suppose i should have realised that but sometimes the obvious just escapes me

[Mother in Need]

Another thing that might be part of it is that maybe he likes to ask the same question every time? My son does that, he will ask the same question time and again, whether I've answered it or not doesn't matter, he'll ask the same question sometimes hundreds of times (well, that's what it feels like anyway). And then when he has finally had enough of that one, he'll go on to the next...drives me absolutely bonkers...anyway, I don't know if your son is like that?

[Elanor]

MiN

 

I'm not sure why your son did this, the predictability/change explanation makes sense, the I just wanted to say that this is the sort of this we get also.

 

Elanor

[lil_me]

We did a similar system with my son but found the question asking of could he finish the game etc was too much. So what we said was from then on when the timer went he was to finish the game then come off. Seemed to work better but I have no idea why.

[Brook]

OMG, this is exactly the sort of thing that sends my son into major meltdown!

If something is said in a certain way each time, then he expects it the same EVERY time,

I too have slipped up and suffered the consequences, and it doesn't matter if I say lets start it

again, once it's been ruined then that's it!

 

I think that's it's a mixture of routine and also interrupting train of thought as has been said.

He also does repetitive questioning about quite bizarre topics, but the answer always has to be

the same and in the same tone of voice.

 

Many a time I have blurted out something and I immediately think 'oh, no' I shouldn't have done

that, it is a bit like walking on eggshells but I suppose we are bound to slip up sometimes.

 

Brook

[Steve_colour-se7en]

Hello everyone,

 

Jools, it seems to be the same over at our house my son on the playstation and sometimes dare i say myself when trying to make a post, on having being mentioned to me that the time spent so far on a session on the PC is possibly far in accesss that most would seem to be normal. Yes and as Brook states, routine comes into the equation i'm afraid to say.

 

Steve..

I think the boy means well but he is distinctly inclined to be inattentive......

Tutor of Winston Churchill to Lord Randolph Churchill,

Winston's father

[kirstie]

We get the same too. It's just the routine i think, because basically they know what is coming next anfd if its changed then wham! full scale meltdown!!

Lewis also tells us what to say and you have to say it exactly as he says or else more meltdowns, and he can go on and on and on.........

[jlp]

That would possibly set my son off, I think it's a routine thing too.

 

It's reminded me of G watching old videos the other day of his 4th birthday, he's 6 now - he saw his gifts (which he was ok with if not madly interested in the video) and went into a major meltdown as he 'didn't ask for those presents' when he was 4.

 

Hugs it's alway the unexpected that catches me out too - usually followed by an 'oh no!' realisation before the meltdown.

[Malika]

Hi

 

change in a repeated patern is certainly what would set off my son as well, for example before bed time he is use to have an apple and then a drink in a very old cup he would never dream to change, if I start to give him the drink first he is all upset and refuse to touch it until i bring his apple, he does those thing as well about gift if he has not asked for it I think that because he does not understand suttle social interaction he has to feel in controle in order to feel secure.

It is sometimes very upsetting when you try to plan everything for them and then they get upset about something else out of the blue.

 

Malika.

[ray]

would agree with everything being said, its probably all about routine, even now, at 17, there are certain things we have to do, and say, in a certain order, otherwise my lad can get very annoyed