LKS Report post Posted February 10, 2006 My AS son was very quiet when he came in from school obviously something wrong as he went up in his bedroom and didn't really want to talk. After a while he told me that a teacher had hit him round the head with a rolled up piece of paper I tried to stay calm and get more info out of him he said. I had walked through the door to my Tut. and was lining up outside, some boys and me were hitting each other on the arm not very hard and we were laughing. A teacher (don't know who) walked up to me and hit me round the head with a rolled up bit of paper. I asked son if it was hard he said no but it did shock me. This teacher then said to my son, you slammed the door in my face and then when I walk through I see you hitting other boys. If I see anything like that again you will find yourself in detention, do you understand. Ds replies yes sir but....... teacher says I don't want to hear your exscuses. DS promises he didn't slam door in teachers face he didn't even know he was there, the hitting on the arm is something all the boys do at the moment. I know that you have to be very careful when you only hear one side of the story and it was probably more likely that son did not check that someone was behind him and hold the door open. Another mum phoned me this evening to confirm story she said that her son had asked ds why did that man hit you. I know it probably wasn't very hard but I don't want ANY teacher reprimanding any child like that. Sorry probably over reacting hasn't been a very good week for the LKS kids Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JenRose Report post Posted February 10, 2006 You are not overreacting at all. I too would be furious with anyone who did that to M. Have you thought about what you are going to do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted February 10, 2006 ((((((((((LKS)))))))))) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted February 10, 2006 I also don't think that you are over- reacting. I would have phoned up the school and complained.. The teacher did not even let your son explain his side of things. Ok maybe he was messing around outside the classroom and probably did not see the teacher but no excuse to hit him. Are you going to take this further?? justamom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted February 10, 2006 This is absolutely not on. If someone hit William over the head with a rolled up paper I know for a fact it would throw him straight in to a wobbly. He hates being touched around the head anyway, as many autistic children do, and teachers should know that. Get on the phone as soon as the school is open again and find out what happened. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 11, 2006 Thanks all <'> The trouble with a secondary school of this size is that you cannot expect teachers to know about every pupils difficulties. But quite frankly I do not think that this 'punishment' was suitable for an NT child either. I have been speaking to my older son who is in the 6th form at the same school He said it would be impossible to slam the doors at school even if you wanted to because they are those sort of slow closing ones don't know what they are called. There was a part of me that was quite pleased that ds was inter-acting with some other boys when lining up even if it was in a typically push and shove type boy way. We know who this teacher is now so I will probably contact the senco after half term. The teacher was b****y lucky that he didn't do it to one of the hearing-impaired pupils at the school (there are a large number as there are the most resources for hearing impaired there)In secondary school pupils are very rarely given the opportunity to put their side forward as teachers really haven't got the time to listen to who did what. Ds finds this quite difficult as he needs to be able to defend himself :)I am sure the teacher will put forward a wonderful case, but he cannot deny it took part as there are witnesses. There is a part of me that wants to say touch my son's head again and I'll kill you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted February 11, 2006 There is a part of me that wants to say touch my son's head again and I'll kill you I totally sympathise with this. I've got my own concerns about my son going to secondary in September, and what has happened to your son has really got me going. I was thinking to myself while reading it that if it was my son I'd want to go and wallop the teacher with a cricket bat (not that I'm a violent person or anything Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 11, 2006 LKS I would disagree with you about the teachers not knowing certain pupils due to the size of the school. In the case of pupils with SEN they should make it their business to know them. It only takes a little while for someone (a TA for example) to compile a list of SEN pupils each member of staff will normaly teach - a photo to go with it would make identification of the pupil easier still. As for the situation your son reported, it does need looking into. Has he,or is he, able to show you a similar size piece of rolled up paper? This might give you an idea of the force that was used. Your son has been backed up by other puils here, so it isn't a case of if it happened but more a case of why and what will be done about it. If, as you point out, there is a large population of deaf pupils at the school the teacher should be aware of this and therefore react accordingly. Approaching any pupil in this way would be wrong, approaching a deaf one like it would be blody stupid. Play it nicely to begin with, it will get you further quicker. If your complaint is ignored (send it to the head IN WRITING) then take it higher. Give them till the middle of the week to get back to you and see what happens. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 11, 2006 Thanks Phasmid I was trying to be understanding as to why the teacher would behave in this way, but you are quite right teachers should be aware of the pupils with disabilities in their school. Apparently the size of the paper was about the same size as the inner roll of a kitchen towel roll, if that makes sense He has demonstrated what happened and there is no way any force was used but the surprise was enough to make me flinch, and I was expecting it ! Supposing it had been one of the hearing impaired pupils, you cannot always tell the ones that are using hearing aids. I am very uncomfortable with this, not because he was reprimanded for something he didn't believe he had done but that a teacher would be so stupid as to do anything to a pupils head. I shall go softly softly when I make enquiries and see what they say Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 11, 2006 Disabled or not, I can't see any justification at all for a teacher hitting any pupil on the head with anything at any time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 11, 2006 Disabled or not, I can't see any justification at all for a teacher hitting any pupil on the head with anything at any time. No I quite agree. The point I was trying to make was approaching a deaf pupil from behind and 'gaining their attention' in this way could cause all sorts of things to happen - including the teacher getting a smack in the mouth if the child thought it was another child! I once very loudly reprimanded a motorist for beeping at my mother-in-law when she didn'tmove out of his way when walking through a car park. When she didn't move he crept right up behind her and sounded his horn. She nearly died of shock as due to her deafness she hadn't heard him behind her. He got a right royal tounge lashing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 21, 2006 I have spoken to the senco about this. (I spoke to her as she is my only real contact at school) She said if I'm really concerned about this I should make a written complaint. I didn't really want to go down this route yet and was hoping maybe a HOY or one of the deputy heads would speak to the teacher first. Don't know what to do. What the teacher did was not acceptable and I feel that he should be made aware of this. Can't help thinking if it had been my ds 'caught' hitting someone round the head with a roll of paper the school would have come down on him like a ton of bricks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 21, 2006 Can't help thinking if it had been my ds 'caught' hitting someone round the head with a roll of paper the school would have come down on him like a ton of bricks. I can't help thinking that you're probably right! The staff also have a behaviour code they are expected to follow when disciplining pupils in any school I have had dealings with, and this is just as valid as the ones to which pupils are expected to adhere to. The senco has passed the buck on this one (I can't balme them to be honest) and pointed you towards the HoY. Speak to them in much the same way you spoke to the senco, telling them you do not want to make this a formal complaint but you would like it looked into. If they insist it has to be offical then write to them. The only other options are to talk direct to the teacher - however I would avoid doing this alone for both your sakes - or to drop it. Personaly I would choose HoY approach. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 22, 2006 Thanks Phas. I can quite understand why the senco has 'passed the buck' and I've told her I understand why she has done this. I am going to phone HOY today to see what he says. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted February 22, 2006 Don't let them think they can get away with this sort of treatment. What is it teaching the kids, behaving like this? You are doing the right thing complaining. Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 22, 2006 Ds's form tutor has just phoned me. They (her and HOY) have spoken to the teacher concerned who said he felt he had done nothing wrong and it had been grossly exaggerated Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted February 22, 2006 I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and explain why the actions are so unacceptable or do all the staff need training in ASD Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 22, 2006 Ds's form tutor has just phoned me. They (her and HOY) have spoken to the teacher concerned who said he felt he had done nothing wrong and it had been grossly exaggerated Hang on! 1. They have spoken to this teacher who has agreed that this happened - correct? 2. He felt this was acceptable and said so - correct? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 22, 2006 correct on both counts Phas. The teacher does not seem to be denying it happened, and he obviously feels that it was acceptable as he feels he has done nothing wrong. I just wanted this to be dealt with quickly and easily, with the teacher being made to realise that what he did was not acceptable regardless of whether my son is AS. The fact that he feels he did nothing wrong worries me now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted February 22, 2006 its not acceptable... During your meeting you get a rolled up piece of newspaper and hit the teacher round the head and see if he thinks it's over exaggerated... Sorry I am being childish this kind of thing upsets me how can they think that is not that big a deal is beyond me.... I surpose if he admits that he has done something wrong he opens the floodgates for bigger problems for himself so denial is his way of getting out of trouble... justamom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted February 22, 2006 sorry was busy typing when you wrote back that he has not denied it but does not see anything wrong with it, he has to be aware that its not acceptable behaviour to do to any student ASD or not... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 22, 2006 Well, play it softly and ask the HoY tomorrow what her response is. That way you have tried to be nice and discreet.If your not happy with what she says then I think in light of his admission your left with little choice as to what to do next. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted February 23, 2006 JUSYAMOM: During your meeting you get a rolled up piece of newspaper and hit the teacher round the head and see if he thinks it's over exaggerated... Sorry I am being childish this kind of thing upsets Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 23, 2006 justamom like the idea of doing that to the teacher. I wish he had just apologised for causing any distress to DS but no, now I have to take it further. I am trying very very hard to maintain a good relationship with this school Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 24, 2006 I could just imabine the looks on their faces if you did that LKS! Seriously though, why not ask them what would have happened if a pupil (any pupil) had done that to a member of staff? I've got a pretty good idea what the answer would be! In which case that's double standards. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted February 24, 2006 Phas double standards in schools surely not I am determined to make this teacher aware of what he has done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tmf Report post Posted February 24, 2006 lks Follow it through right to the end..........i can't believe a teacher has acted in such a way, it is disgusting. Wonder what the law makes of this behaviour when the law says we as parents can't hit our own children (for the record i don't just poiting out the law!). Y do hoy or hm just sit back and except what a member of their staff has told them, it makes me so b****y cross . I had a similar situation with my sons school, come home time the teacher let my son out without me being there he is only 6!!! I got straight on the phone to the hm who apologised and would investigate. Hr l8r i get a call back saying ds teacher said he escaped and didnt realise he had gone, now can i point out this is not actually possible as she stands in the door way with a child looking for the parent, this blocks the whole b****y doorway, i think she would have noticed if a child had barged past to get out!!! Anyway hm accepted what she had said so am really . When i got talking to another mum about the situation she actually saw the teacher let him out instead of sending him to the back of the q to wait! Result from this, ds has to be the 1st out everytime....no waiting around in the cold and rain Personally i dont like his teacher, she looks like she is just out of nappies, has absolutely no experience with asd and now i have behaviour probs at the school...no wonder i am Anyway i hope you get a good result, no-1 should be allowed to treat a child in this way irrespect of whether they have asd or not! Go Girl, we're all behind you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted March 1, 2006 Well HOY has not got back to me, so I suppose I take it further now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted March 1, 2006 Looks like it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted March 1, 2006 He's had plenty of time to respond to you this happened on the 10th of Feb and today is the 1rst of March he is dragging his heels but as you say its not time for action... You have been very patient. good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted March 1, 2006 meant to say NOW time for action - i am always in a rush sorry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
