advice needed child is in danger, school not listening

[joshanddanfans]

long sorry!

hi, my friend needs advice, i have 2 asd,adhd,dyspraxia and sensory integration dysfunction boys. My friend eldest child is 12 and has totally slipped through the net as in school he is placid and doesnt know how to ask for help. A did not speak until 5 and was behind on many developments. in primary was taken out for sens classes and was under consultant for adhd behaviour. as he has gotten older his behaviour calmed down and was dicharged. when it came to september and transition to high school the problems began. A could not cope with the classes,finding his way to lessons and was having numerous falls getting from a to b. his obsessive behaviour made his mum ask health visitor to refer him again. they firstly said he has dyspraxia and foggs positive and many signs of aspergers, she is seeing consultant next week. she has tried to explain to school he has no friends,is being bullied, that he cant find his way to lessons and gets detention for being late. he cant cope with noise or crowds so a huge high school is proving too much for him he begs to not go in, especially on pe days. his mum was so concerned she requested a statement as ed psych suggested looking at local special high school. the statement was rejected as a being aspergerish is quite clever just struggles wrinting and processing information from the blackboard. i went to a meeting with her at school and they were performing co lea lady was there really rude and arrogant saying he only has dyspraxia. however they do not know the half of it, a cant even wipe his bum when been to the toilet,cant work a knife and fork,has terrible obsessions,totally refuses to go near water he is dirty due to extreme fear of water having a wash is a battlefield. cant cope with changes in routine, doesnt know how to make friends. in school he is falling over, one day smashing up his face tripping on a raised paving stone, he is late for lessons, comes home having no drink or dinner as by time he gets to front of dinner que he has 10 mins to eat dinner before lessons start and thats hard for a child who struggles holding a spoon. The school have not helped art all his mum asked to move him to another class were his only friend was and they refused, he asked the pe teacher to help him do his tie as he cant dress himself and teacher laughed at him.

 

any ideas !!!! on how to get school to take difficulties seriously , A, child is A (different one!) and his mum is T.

 

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Hi Joshanddanfans - Hope you don't mind, but I've edited the names out of your post, as listing Mum dad and Child christian names along with age and developmental history might be enough for other people to make an identification... I'm not sure if the family you described was your own (in which case i wouldn't have edited) or the friends, but certainly in the latter it would seem inappropriate to give out this much detail without prior approval....

Hope you understand the reasons behind the edit, and hope even more that you find a way forward from the responses you recieve...Very Best

BD

Edited February 26, 2006 by baddad

[pumpkinpie]

At least your friend has a supportive friend in you! Thats a good start.

What was the meeting with the lea lady. WAS it because of the statement request1 Did you get minutes. What was the outcome and did the ed psych you mention attend?

Has your friend put her concerns in writing, she needs to keep records to show what she feels the problems are and how they are being addressed by the school. It sounds as if he is really struggling, what did she do regarding the pe teachers comments, as this was really out of order and she needs to complain to the school about it.

She need to start gather ing the evidence to prove this is the wrtong placement and she also needs to be able to document waht is happening at school , is he on school action plus ?

[helenl53]

She may also try and get help from IPSEA, NAS (not sure if they help without DX) and ACE.

 

Although A is academically able, his needs are 'complex and long term' - IPSEA should be able to help if your friend would consider Tribunal.

 

Has A been to the GP- perhaps GP needs to organise urgent referral.

 

Hope this helps

 

HelenL

[Malika]

Hi,

 

I can't help feeling upset about what you describe, This child needs urgent referal and DX is development seems so behind how could he not receive more attention? well I know how as he is quiet nobody could be bothered.

Does he has a paediatrician can't he be refered to an hospital like Great Ormond street as they have a very good team for ASD and can do most of the test at the same place but to stand a chance he needs a paediatrician to refer him, I am affraid without a DX and a raccomendation letter from specialist the school is unlikly to listen.

I think the mother should consider keeping him at home for a while this cannot be allowed to continue, the fact that this boys has injuries may even suggest that he is bullied but unable to express what is happening at school.

What a mess ... I know that the NAS do make Dx but I think they need some form of referal calling them for advice would be a good idea. The fact that the statement has been refused is probably due to the lack of medical evidence...

Sorry I cannot find anymore suggestion, hope this may help.

 

All the best.

 

Malika.

[Malika]

Hi,

 

This is what I have found on the NAS website however they don't say from who they accept referal, and I know they have a waiting list.

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=131&a=2239

 

Malika.

[Malika]

Found this as well.

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=255&a=3335

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=131&a=2239

 

Malika.

[Tez]

Hi,

 

Reading your post I saw many similarities to my son's position a few years ago. There are several things that I could suggest but unfortunately no immediate solutions; it is more a case of building the evidence and making the school see the problems. I know that your friend has already discussed this with the school but I would suggest they start writing to the school confirming what has already been discussed and building on it as further incidents happen.

 

1) Your friend could send an immediate letter to the school stating the difficulties their child is having and saying that whilst they have no firm diagnosis AS is suspected along with the existing dx of Dyspraxia and that a referral to a Consultant has been made with an appointment for next week (copy the letter). In the letter, your friend could ask that the school be particularly vigilant and ask for their help and support. I actually stated in mine that I believed that my child was at risk in the school environment and gave examples to prove my point. I told the school that unless they put measures in place to ensure my son's safety I would not be sending him and that I wanted their written assurance that he was safe whilst at school and details of how they intended to ensure this. Your friend should give examples of the difficulties that their child has, as you have in your post. I would make the list long and go back listing all the examples that they can think of over the past year, so they have started to build up documentary evidence of need. Your friend could then state, that in light of all this, they are not happy with the outcome of the meeting and that they feel that the school is failing to understand the gravity of the situation.

 

At this point your friend could ask again for their child to be moved to the class with their only friend, stating that whilst they understood that the school was reluctant to do so they believed it was essential for x, y and z reasons.

 

2) When your friend sees the Consultant, they could ask them to write to the school expressing their concerns about the problems that the child is having. A's Consultant reiterated my belief that he was at risk at school and wrote this in his letter.This would give your friend the medical backing that they need, even without a dx. Your friend could include a list of how dyspraxia affects a child - this would cover many of the problems that you mention. Too many people see dyspraxia as being just a little clumsy, when it is far more dibilitating. If the Consultant was willing they could ask them to make suggestions in their letter for any adjustments that they considered the child would need.

 

3) Communication is very important. Your friend could write to the school about all the problems that the child encounters on a weekly or, if necessary, daily basis. In a large Secondary School there a number of people that it would be possible to write to. It's best to look for someone who is likely to be responsive and helpful. Parent Partnership may have contact with the school and may be able to suggest someone e.g. Head of Year, Deputy Head, SENCO etc.I took to emailing the Deputy Head every time A had a problem, no matter how small or silly it might seem to someone else. If he was bullied, if he didn't understand the instructions given in class, if a teacher had upset himetc. It might sound a bit over the top but the school either had to write to me saying that they disagreed with what I was saying or accept that A had problems. I also made sure that I showed how problems at school affected our home life because A wouldn't sleep with worry, the difficulty we had persuading him to go to school the next day and how it was affecting his physical and mental well being.

 

4) As the evidence of need grows, your friend should be able to negotiate the help their child needs even without a dx. Dyspraxia in itself is often enough to get help at School Action +. I presented the school with a document listing all A's areas of need and with suggestions of solutions. Some do not require many resources or staff time. For example, they could introduce a buddy scheme to assist the child both in lessons and getting safely and on time around the school. The child could be disapplied from PE and use this time to do extra work on areas of need. At the very least the PE staff need to be told to be sensitive to his needs due to his dyspraxia such as difficulty dressing and undressing and the potential this causes for bullying and the lack of coordination during the lesson. A's friend actually helped him 9but a school desiginated buddy could work) with his tie but other less kindly children picked up on his difficulty and used to get him alone afterwards and tighten it to strangle him knowing he would be unable to loosen it. I was very persistent in documenting all these incidents in writing so they either had to prove me wrong or do something about it.

 

5) I also agree with the other comments that it would be useful to get some input from IPSEA and the NAS. The key to getting help is polite, persistance and evidence building.

 

I hope that your friend manages to sort something out.

Edited February 27, 2006 by Tez

[Malika]

Hi,

 

Tez is right,

 

2) When your friend sees the Consultant, they could ask them to write to the school expressing their concerns about the problems that the child is having. A's Consultant reiterated my belief that he was at risk at school and wrote this in his letter.This would give your friend the medical backing that they need, even without a dx. Your friend could include a list of how dyspraxia affects a child - this would cover many of the problems that you mention. Too many people see dyspraxia as being just a little clumsy, when it is far more dibilitating. If the Consultant was willing they could ask them to make suggestions in their letter for any adjustments that they considered the child would need.

 

However I thought your friend son did not have any formal DX,except ADHD when he was younger, but even if he hasn't a letter to the school from the consultant saying suspected dyspraxia or/and ASD DX will follow, should be enough to make things moving which does not mean evidence build up should not continue.

 

If the child has a DX of dyspraxia this should be enough to warrant some special help even before any DX of ASD.

This is the link for the Dyspraxia foundation they could be contacted as well.

Alternatively some copy of informations and advices could be given to the school.

If the school has letter from the consultant and may be from NAS or the dyspraxia foundation I am quite sure they will start changing attitude.

 

http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/

 

http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/serv...gu_teachers.php

 

http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/serv...u_secondary.php

 

Hope this will help.

 

Malika.

[Tez]

Sorry I thimk you're right Malika. I read the part where the LEA representative said he only had dyspraxia but re-reading the post it does seem that the only official dx is ADHD. Sorry joshanddanfans if I've caused confusion. However, it does seem that both the school and the LEA agree that he has difficulties normally associated with a dx of dyspraxia so your friend could use this to their advantage as Malika suggests..

[asereht]

My sons situation was very similar a year or so ago.

Sadly, despite our best efforts,he had to be taken out of school for 6 months but is back now for 5 classes a week one to one.He will never go back to full classes or times though as he cannot handle it.

 

I would follow the advice given by Tez and Malika.

 

Your friend is lucky to have you on her side.

 

Theresa

Edited February 27, 2006 by asereht

[joshanddanfans]

At least your friend has a supportive friend in you! Thats a good start.

What was the meeting with the lea lady. WAS it because of the statement request1 Did you get minutes. What was the outcome and did the ed psych you mention attend?

Has your friend put her concerns in writing, she needs to keep records to show what she feels the problems are and how they are being addressed by the school. It sounds as if he is really struggling, what did she do regarding the pe teachers comments, as this was really out of order and she needs to complain to the school about it.

She need to start gather ing the evidence to prove this is the wrtong placement and she also needs to be able to document waht is happening at school , is he on school action plus ?

 

the meeting with the lea was for an exlaination as to why statementing was refused. while fair enough she saidit was only because he was so bright academically that special secondary would not suit him. and went on to explain how his mother shouldnt want him labelled or treat him as a special child!!!!the ed psych who suggested a special school did not attend and t would not have taken a to view the school and get his hopes up if he hadnt suggested it. thanks for your advice,a

[joshanddanfans]

thanks for all your advice, t will be round soon so she can read your ideas. it was the senco that said well hes only got dyspraxia mrs b. how can she work with people like that who have no respect for anyone and refuse to listen. he is at action +. when t told them about his serious obsession about water and being touched they just laughed and spoke to t like she never made sure he was clean she even took photos to prove the extent of the problem they refused to look as were rushing off somewhere. i was there with her and parent part were not speaking for her i wanted to punch the teachers lights out but i had a multi agency meeting at my boys school so had to leave early. t was in tears when i left. i suggested to t myself that she may want to find a more supportive mainstream shool with teachers that listen and not ignore parents concerns. a has pead appointment in week and a half so we will know more then!

 

thanks again for your replies, a

[Tez]

Another suggestion your friend might like to consider. The school seems to be treating both her and her child with a complete lack of respect. One quick way to put a stop to that and force them to act more professionally is to record all meetings and discussions. You do need to inform them that you are doing it.

 

I go into the meeting and put a dictaphone on the table and say, "I trust that nobody objects to me recording this meeting but like my son I have some auditory processing difficulties and it really helps me to clarify what has been discussed if I can listen again in my home without distractions." You can see the looks go round the room, but nobody has ever refused me permission and it does focus their attention on being respectful and listening even when they disagree with your view point. The first time I did this I nearly didn't ask, and I put the recorder away and thought I wouldn't bother, but my parent partnership rep pushed me into it by saying Mrs K has something she'd like to request before the meeting starts. Now I don't hesitate, I just come out with it.

 

Also if this child is on School Action+ what adjustments and strategies are they making and using for him? From what you say there doesn't seem to be any support in place for him at all. If your friend could post some more details perhaps we could advise more appropriately.

Edited February 27, 2006 by Tez

[pumpkinpie]

I am concerneed about your comments regarding parent partnership. They are there to help and support and speak up for the child and patrent. What did this one do? If you feel they were not doing their job I would speak to their manager and ask for someone else asap. Poor support should not be tolerated and unless pople stand up and complain they get away with it.

I think ipsea or ace would be good contacts for your friende