tmf Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Hi do any of you feel that since your childs dx that people who looked after your children let you down all the time. am constantly letting work down, and here i am with only 30 mins to go and my child care (supposedly friends) have let me down again. I don't know what to do, work won't change my hrs to suit, i can't give up work as i need a job and i won't leave my children with strangers! Just wondering what you guys did, as i justfeel so let down at the mo. We had an agreement about sharing child care, i had theirs and theyhad mine ect./....they just keep letting me down Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Hi tmf, Can't really help - we've been so lucky that my mam has looked after mine (I work full-time). I can't imagine what we'd have done without her. I've never left her with anyone else (she's 12) - I've only got one brother who doesn't like my daughter and we've not told anyone else that she has AS. Sorry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Oh dear <'> <'> <'> The only people that look after my little boy are my parents. I don't think some of my friends know how to deal with my little boy - life is hard at times................ Forbsay x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted March 2, 2006 (edited) I am not a legal expert, but I don't think your place of work can just dismiss your request for a change of hours. I'm pretty sure that there's some legislation out there that says they HAVE to consider any reasonable request for a change of hours for parents. I vaguely seem to remember a thread about this on here, but can't find it now. I'm sure someone more knowledgeable than me will be along soon - but I'm pretty sure I'm right. Edited March 2, 2006 by Jill Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Jill's right, I've heard of that legislation as well. Sorry, but can't remember where either... Childcare is a real problem for me, in the way that I have absolutely NONE whatsoever for my AS son. There is no-one who is able and willing to care for him. I had booked for a day course with the NAS the other day, and on their documentation it said 'childcare provided'. So I thought, great, I can actually go for once. But no, it was not to be. Their statement only meant that they would pay for the childcare needed, but could not provide any. I have the give the lady her due, she did search long and hard for someone, but she also could not find anyone to care for my son. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Hi tmf, I've always had the same problem. The only solution for me has been to work only during the time my son is at school. Specialized child care is rare and expensive. If you are going to a support group maybe you could arrange sharing child care with another parent. Try reading the replies to this thread: http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...wtopic=4909&hl= Good luck! Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Never had any luck with childcare, there is only my brother in law, who spent his teens growing up with my son who will look after my boys. Other people offer then let us down last minute. Paid childminder (the only one who would look after my son in my area) wanted ?150 a week almost for 2 hours care 5 days a week. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted March 2, 2006 I have to have a aupair who normally stays for at least one year and I can still only work part time. We only have one grandparent who is 82 years old so I have no help. Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Did you know that you are entitled to extra time off if caring for a disabled child under the age of 18. From 6 April 2003 parents of children aged under six or of disabled children aged under 18 have the right to request flexible working, although this does not entitle them to insist upon a new pattern of work. The employer must consider the request seriously, and has to follow a procedure as set down in detail in the DTI guidance[3] (See Annex 1). Who has a legal right to apply? The right only applies to those who are employees: it does not apply to agency workers, or self-employed or freelance workers. In addition the legal entitlement is limited to those who: � have a child under six, or under 18 in the case of a disabled child � are one of the following: the child?s mother, father, adopter, guardian or foster parent, or married to or the partner of the child?s mother, father, adopter, guardian or foster parent � have worked for the institution continuously for at least 26 weeks at the date the application is made, and not have made another application within the previous 12 months � make the application no later than two weeks before the child?s sixth birthday or 18th birthday in the case of a disabled child � have or expect to have responsibility for the child?s upbringing � are making the application to enable them to care for the child. What kinds of flexible working are covered by the law? Eligible employees are able to request any of the following: � a change to the hours they work � a change to the times when they are required to work � to work from home. As such any of the following may be included: reduced working hours, annualised hours, compressed hours, flexitime, homeworking, job-sharing, self-rostering, shift working, staggered hours and part-year working. Procedural aspects of provisions The employee should apply in writing, setting out what pattern of flexible working is requested (e.g. reduced hours, flexitime, term-time working) and explain, in so far as it is possible to ascertain, the effect that this might have on the business, and how such effect might be dealt with. They should also state when they want the new pattern to begin. Any change agreed has permanent effect: the employee has no right to go back to the original working pattern. The employer has a legal duty to consider the employee?s request by following a set procedure. Failure to follow the procedure entitles the employee to take a case to the Employment Tribunal. The employer should hold a meeting to consider the request within 28 days, at a mutually convenient time and place. The employee has a right to be accompanied by a work colleague (who can be a trade union representative but only if they work for the same employer). The companion can address the meeting, and confer with the employee, but cannot answer questions for the employee. The companion should be given paid time off for this meeting. If the employee fails to turn up for the meeting on two occasions, without reasonable excuse, the employer is entitled to treat the application as withdrawn. The employer should inform the employee of their decision in writing within 14 days of the meeting. If the request is accepted, the response should set out details of the new working pattern, and the date when it will begin. If the response is refused, the employer should state the business grounds for refusal, and explain why those grounds apply in the circumstances. The employer should also provide details of the right to appeal. The grounds for refusing the request must be one of the following: o Burden of additional costs o Detrimental effect on ability to meet customer demand o Inability to reorganise work among existing staff o Inability to recruit additional staff o Detrimental impact on quality o Detrimental impact on performance o Insufficiency of work during the periods the employee proposes to work o Planned structural changes. The employee has 14 days to appeal in writing. The appeal can be on any grounds. If the employee appeals, the employer has to arrange an appeal meeting within 14 days of receiving the request. The employer must inform the employee of the outcome of the appeal in writing within 14 days of the meeting. If the parties are unable to resolve their differences informally, the employee can make a formal complaint to an employment tribunal, or through the ACAS arbitration scheme, but only if the employer has failed to follow the set procedure or the employer?s refusal was based on incorrect facts. There is no right to appeal against the decision itself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tmf Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Hi, thanks for that info. I went armed with my new found knowledge I spoke to the union, just to see where i stand and apprently there is an even more updated guide to the disabilty discrimination act which they are going to look deeper into. The good news, my boss has found her heart! I sat down again with her yesterday and laid the cards on the table, and talk about accomadating.....she couldn't have been nicer or more flexable, and to top it off i am able to do flexi hrs in the school holidays! Talk about a huge relief lifted from my shoulders.....no longer have to rely on people to only let me down. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Hooray for this forum So pleased for you tmf, sounds like things are working out ok. What would we do without the folks here to help us out? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted March 3, 2006 I'm so pleased for you tmf - hope it all works out ok for you. Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Great news, suppose everyone has a heart, just takes a bit of work finding it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Excellent news for you and your children Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
