baddad Report post Posted July 11, 2006 Opened the gate to jump on my bike and go up to collect ben this arvo and found bike had fallen over... Picked it up, and got a handful of 'snot' and shell.... The end of the handlebar had managed to land on a snail! Now, the circumference of the handlebar must be, what - two and a half inches? So I'm wondering just what the chances are in a 50ft garden of therebeing a snail in that particular 2" radius? THEN - cleaning up the goo, I find that the 'endcap' on the handle was just worn enough that it split on impact, and the snail was not only smeared up the handle, but actually squelched UP the pipe end too!! Had to dig him out with a teaspoon!! So, by this time I'm late picking ben up, but as I'm wiping the mess up I got to thinking about my 'Karma', and wondering what i must have been up to in a previous life to attract such attention... And then, about half hour ago, it hit me... MY Karma? What about the poor bl**dy snail?? He must have REALLY pi***d someone off!! L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted July 11, 2006 You never cease to crack me up!!! (no pun intended) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted July 11, 2006 He must have REALLY pi***d someone off!! He had. It was no coincidence. He was trying to nick your bike! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 11, 2006 He had. It was no coincidence. He was trying to nick your bike! Ahhhhhh, that explains the teeny tiny little crash helmet then! Pity he hadn't got around to putting it on Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 11, 2006 Had to dig him out with a teaspoon!! Everyone, if Baddad invites you round for a cuppa, DECLINE!! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 11, 2006 please,.. please ,...please,... don,t do this to me .............I thought I,d buried the memory of smashing up snails with the blunt end of a screw driver then snipping their slimey bodies up into tiny pieces with scissors forever.Yes it was just a week ago that little tweety the baby bird we found in the garden snuffed it .I think I ended up smashing 15 snails up ...........they get this really gooey green snot stuff coming out of them but it just sticks everywhere...........now thank your lucky stars that bike handle did,nt land on a frog.....................I trod on one once .........now that was bad bad goo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 11, 2006 Suze... poor little bird <'> BUT.. cutting up snails with scissors? really???? I'm a tad worried about you Luke used to go round the garden stamping on snails to see the bubbles coming out. I was a bit disturbed by it so explained to him that 'the poor snails poor mums would be looking for them, that he was killing whole families of snails'... he took it on board and for a while would line them up on the kitchen table in order of size 'this one's the daddy, this one's the mummy and so on....' Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
something vague Report post Posted July 11, 2006 please,.. please ,...please,... don,t do this to me .............I thought I,d buried the memory of smashing up snails with the blunt end of a screw driver then snipping their slimey bodies up into tiny pieces with scissors forever.Yes it was just a week ago that little tweety the baby bird we found in the garden snuffed it .I think I ended up smashing 15 snails up ...........they get this really gooey green snot stuff coming out of them but it just sticks everywhere...........now thank your lucky stars that bike handle did,nt land on a frog.....................I trod on one once .........now that was bad bad goo That reminds me of when I was a kid and used to chop worms, they dont taste nice very gritty - chalk's better. I also used to collect catapillars in a jar and shake them up with a stone. They smelled absolutely gorgeous when mushed up. I couldnt stand snails or slugs though so they were safe. There, confessions over, I feel much better now. I wonder what my karma will be? SV Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 11, 2006 sv... I used to eat chalk too I thought it tasted delicious.. although it was more I liked the feel of it. I also used to suck coal and eat the coloured dog biscuits, and paper. The worst thing I did was once fulfill an urge to bite into a new bar of soap.. NOT recommended. I'm so glad (and amazed) I grew up Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted July 12, 2006 Ive also bitten into a bar of soap,ive also eaten stones and at one stage i couldnt resist eaten plaster of the walls.I also used to have an over welming urge to eat shoe polish.Thing is i wasnt pregnant.It was all a bit barking mad.I think this type of thing is called pica or something.I also wasnt a child this was very recent.My excuse is im bi polar and were allowed to be a bit nutty at times it goes with the diagnosis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted July 12, 2006 Why do we worry so much about our kids? I can remember finding grass hoppers, snails, slugs etc, putting them in a bag adding a little water and smashing them to death against a wall. I wasn't alone in this act of pure barbarity, my 2 brothers helped in fact probably started it, they are older than me. To this day I feel ashamed of it but hey I was only a kid. Don't feel too bad about that snail BD (not that you were) he probably just ate your best rhoderdendron. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted July 12, 2006 The Snail was a SENCO that didn't thnk Autisic children needed additional support in a previous life..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 12, 2006 The Snail was a SENCO that didn't thnk Autisic children needed additional support in a previous life..... A SENCO being reincarnated as a snail? For some, that would be promotion. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted July 12, 2006 You're all completely barking! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 12, 2006 Right - if we're doing 'confessions' - my bluebottle/fly trick... - I used to fire bluebottles at the wall out of my brother's 22 rifle! Thing was, I wasn't actually trying to kill them, I just thought it was exciting (like 'dambusters' or something) to see if they could 'pull out' in time Few made it Bally shame And i saw Jack Hargreaves hypnotise a bird on 'HOW' once by laying it on it's back and moving a finger towards the end of it's beak in slow circles... One of my brothers kept tropical finches in his room... Came home to find all of them laying on the floor of the cage on their backs with their feet up in the air. Went ballistic until 'Like Magic' I thumped the end of the cage and woke them all up. Then he really went ballistic and punched my lights out If you want the expanding hamster story it's somewhere in the batcave L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted July 12, 2006 Baddad - can you bring your patented snail smashing machine round here? J insisted on counting the snails after a recent rainstorm - 163 in the front garden alone! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted July 12, 2006 BADDAD YOU CRACK ME UP Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted July 12, 2006 Bads, Are you sure you didn't hypnotise those birds using that Trump-o-matic machine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 12, 2006 ahhh, you've forgotten - the trump o matic actually dissipates the noxious fumes!! The prototype was tried out on a canary down the mines, but unfortunately it wasn't the trumpomatic that rendered the bird unconscious, but a 'real' vein (which is why the bird was there in the first place!)... we never did find ALL of uncle Dai ... L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted July 12, 2006 It must have been a very sad Dai for all concerned Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 12, 2006 It must have been a very sad Dai for all concerned Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
