fiorelli Report post Posted July 25, 2006 No need to reply, I'm ust letting off steam. After over a year of school problems with Louis which last october culminated in him being permanently excluded from school, and since then only having 3 hours education a day at an Education Other than At School while we have been trying to get a statement of SEN, (which incidentally, I was dealing with phonecalls and letter about the day after giving birth, and while my baby was in special care). I have given up. With it being the end of a school year, the start of the holidays, and the build-up to starting a new school in september, Louis is not coping well at all. We have had a week of major fallouts from him, during which his brothers have suffered badly. My husband is finding it increasingly difficult to understand and deal with Louis (made all the more harder, as he is his step-son). They all know how to wind each other up. I am sick of being piggy in the middle, while getting shat all over from all parties. I really feel for Louis and try to understand how he is feeling, but it doesn't mean that everyone else should suffer for it. I have had to make the really hard decision of sending Louis to his father's for the summer to give everyone a break (including Louis, as it means he can forget about having to go to school in September, as I can rely on his father, Nanny, aunties, uncles cousins etc. down there to keep him busy and occupied. Something I unfortunately can't do 24/7). It isn't something i really wanted to do, but felt it was best for everyone (actually no, I don', but I didn't know what else to do). I feel like I have let Louis down. I feel like the worst mother in the world. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Fiorielli, you are not a bad mother you are only human and its natural to feel like throwing the towel in every now and then. You have had a long battle for your son which would take its toll on anyone, hang in there girlie you are doing a fine job!!! Sending you loads of <'> i know excatly how you are feeling been feeling down myself but we have to fight for our kids cause they can't fight for themselves!!! Justamom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted July 25, 2006 I would imagine many of us would like time out from our kids (nt or asd!) from time to time. If we had the chance to use your sort of soloution I am sure many of us would under the circumstances. All the phaslets go away next week so, for the first time in 17 years we will not be 'mum and dad' for a while...we can have some us tme. Do we feel guiilty? Perhaps a little. But the break will do us the world of good. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted July 25, 2006 fiorelli I think you are doing what's best for Louis. What you're doing is giving yourself some time for the rest of your family and I think that is vital for all of you. Make the most of it and then you'll be more than ready to support Louis when he goes back to school, which is when he'll need a mum who isn't exhausted and drained from the summer holidays. Sometimes you have to put your own needs first. Don't feel guilty about it. It's normal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Hi here is some hugs and well wishes for you, when I read your post in the beginning it was screaming out you need a break, when I read that Louis has gone to his Fathers for summer I am relieved, it will really benefit the whole Family including your partner as well, and Louises brother. I would of suggested a break so pleased that is what you have done and with a member of Louises Family and hopefully things can settle for the time he is enjoying his time with his Dad. The Educational issues sound really bad and wonder if this is the cause to some of the behaviours your son has at the moment. Do you have any representation for your son like IPSEA or NAS. I hope that things calm down and you have some you time, Id be inclined to have a pamper weekend somewhere you certainly deserve it. Hugs and Love JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted July 25, 2006 <'> <'> <'> Fiorelli <'> <'> <'> You're one of the greatest Mums - don't feel guilty - he'll probably have a marvellous time during the summer and hopefully not even think about school! Enjoy the break and the time to spend with the rest of your family - they will appreciate this too. You're the Best! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marshmallow Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Fiorelli, <'> <'> <'> Take care, try and take some time out for you! <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Fiorelli, you did the right thing, don't be so hard on yourself. He'll benefit a lot from being with his father. Wish I could do the same with mine... <'> <'> Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Hey hun <'> <'> You are one of the most loving, dedicated, caring mums i know - most definitely NOT a bad mum. L will have a fantastic time, your other boys will have a fantastic time and very, very most importantly - YOU will have the breather you need. We're not superhuman hunni - it completely understandable that you need a break from it all, do not feel guilty - it is important for you all to have room to breathe. Take the time, recharge those batteries (and get some sleep!!!!!! ), enjoy the sunshine and come back fighting in September. <'> Here if you need me <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted July 25, 2006 (((((Fiorelli))))) Don't feel guilty for needing a break.I hope that you get a chance to recharge your batteries and your son will get some quality time with his dad,too.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted July 25, 2006 i think it is a really good solution,i think we always feel guilt whatever we do,if i had the option of sending steve to a dad who cared and aunties uncles etc i would have his case packed like a shot,i really would,personally from what ive seen you posted you are a very good mum,we all need a break sometimes love hev Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressedmumto2 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 I read your post and I just wantto second what others have said. No way feel guilty about whatyou are doing,you are thinking of yourself and the rest of your family which is what I think is really needed sometimes. I think sometimes we get stuck in a rut of just thinking about the child. Your son will probably have a wonderfull time and if I were you I would really just rest and do some of the things that are difficult or that you simply cannot do with him around you and maybe do something you've wanted to do by yourself. Really enjoy the time you have away, if I could do it I definatly would. Enjoy yourself and try not to worry about him if he is around poeple who love him and can occupy him 24/7, take the break that you need and deserve. Big hug to you,you are making the right decision atthe right time <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 25, 2006 fiorelli you,ve been through such a lot , don,t pile guilt onto yourself like this.Louis is going to his dads , it,ll be a holiday for him, he,ll have a great time and your other kids can get spoilt by you while he,s away. <'> Suzex <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
