Livelife

Hello and welcome to the forum Unfortunately it takes a long time to get a diagnosis but you will be understood by people here as a lot have been in the same position as yourself. Sure you will make contact with others for support

You say your unable to drive have you ever taken any lessons?

That's a good statement how do you manage coping that's something I've never managed to define in any meaningful way. Being unemployed is their fault society's fault because they won't let us work its that simple so we haven't failed in the meaning of the word because we are not given the opportunity to do any work because we are different. It's discrimination the same as any other minority group. Nobody can fail because of how your born that's not our fault so how much can be classed as failure I am not sure how to measure that either. I try to think this way if you won the lottery could you live on your own getting what you needed when you need it. That includes any help with cooking etc so if you could then it's only the lack of money that's stopping us so that's no different to anybody else poverty is the real restriction not ability because things can be adapted with funding. With the government taking what little we have who is really to blame who is at fault us for being born or society not excepting us and taking our money so we can't be independent it's hard to define but in general I think it's what's put upon us rather than personal abilities.

You have a companion who is honest and only needs the basics food warmth and care if they get that they are happy and loyal. Then there are people and most should be ashamed of themselves for what they do you have made the right choice.

That's something that we have to get used to people always treat us that way and think we shouldn't have anything if it means we have a quality of life or something we actually enjoy. People like that should be sacked for mental cruelty and abuse of vulnerable people in their care. But we have no valid opinions because we are autistic, I have always tried to be fair but the abandonment lack of support and general abuse of my condition has proved you can't trust anybody I thought you could but I have been proved wrong.

Is there anybody local to you that you could get support from, have you spoken to your doctor about this.

I have tried to access these services but because I live just outside the Bristol Boundaries I am not allowed to attend the Bristol group. The one I am supposed to attend is in Yate and that is a minimum of two buses and approximately a two hour bus trip so combined that will mean at least four hours travelling on public transport. That with the meeting will be a whole day and I have problems using public transport alone especially in the busy periods so getting there is not feasible. I have spoken to one of the social workers there and they don't visit people so I would have to get there myself which I can't do. I could be given an assessment for an adult social worker but have been told because there is no financial support only the very worst cases are going to get help. He could put me in for an assessment but because I am not one of the worse cases it's very unlikeliest I will be helped. I live with my mother and partner who assist in ways that keep me homed and deal with my finances so that apparently does not make me worthy of help. My partner and mother are both physically disabled and can't travel for such a long time to come with me to the centre. I can take the bus if it's very few people which isn't often but if it gets busy people a Lot around or they sit next to you I have to get off the bus wherever I am and walk to my destination. It's about nine miles to Yate from where I live and it's too great a distance to walk to and home again so I can not get any help, how can having to use two buses and a four hour trip alone be helping somebody with autism.

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Without support why bother testing people, it's false hope if you are autistic looking for support after a diagnosis then to be told sorry there is no support. Where are we supposed to go or do what is beyond the capability of an autistic person, it's no surprise there are so many depressed people turning to alcohol and drugs just to get through the day some even commit suicide who cares for these people.

That's the same as any service these days it's being slowly decimated so eventually it will not be fit for purpose. They say be reasonable but that means waiting endlessly like you say with no communication on progress.

Moat

I don't think you need to feel guilty about receiving the appropriate treatment and diagnosis. It's honourable that your concerned about others in a similar situation and you could write to your MP or local health authority about your concerns and create your own support group if you felt able.

Sand

There appears to be a lot of organisations that are testing for autism but very few helping people with their lives after the diagnosis is that because it's cheaper to diagnose it than help people live their lives with it because they may need support and that costs money.

Is bipolar regularly associated with being autistic. How do they define the difference within typical traits of the autistic person.

Do you get involved in any discussions or support here Martin I haven't seen you in any other place other than this thread.

Firstly you haven't neglected your children it sounds to me that you have given a lot of attention to them but you have to remember your a parent not a doctor so somethings may seem obvious now but at the time you didn't recognise the importance. You say you haven't told your partner but equally he hasn't informed you of his concerns so if he never noticed anything it's understandable that you did not notice at the time either. My parents never noticed about me either I was just a naughty child but your children have the advantage of a mother that does know and understands which is an advantage they already have. What your saying is because you feel guilty and you have no reason to you can't blame yourself for what you didn't know you do now and doing something about it that's good parenting not bad. It's known that more than one child can have autism any doctor will know that and if so it's a possibility that either you or your husband could be autistic also and it's in the family. My brother has it too but much less than me but he won't get a diagnosis as he can function where as I struggle a lot so the differences can be very different so you may have only noticed as he got older and changed with age. My father also had all the symptoms and traits but until I found out about me none of the family even knew what autism was it took me time to understand about it but even now struggling to cope. I would say take him to the doctors get the help and assistance he will need, it's too late for us old aspies but for a child they need all the support they can get even though there isn't much help available. Your doing fine there is no need to be so critical of yourself

I am so sorry to hear that, how are you coping at the moment.

There is always some way they get money from you that they are not entitled to. I'm glad you don't have that experience it's so frustrating but my provider has now been changed I just hope that the current one proves to be better than the last.

That's something your getting that you deserve to help with your bills. Nothing is perfect but at least somebody is trying to help.

This in my view is discrimination and abuse of the disabled, we want to work as equals with other people. Not a sub species that can only work for nothing, in years past this was called slavery. What's the term for getting a disabled person working for nothing when they want paid employment, if they can do something he the ability why can't that ability be used in society the same as everybody else.

This is a subject that I think needs to be addressed in general about volunteering and paid work. Why is it that finding a volunteer position appears possible for somebody on the Autistic Spectrum but when it refers to employment where you actually get paid for your labour is a completely different situation. I agree with doing voluntary work when it is that done through choice to help others there is nothing wrong with that and many hundreds of thousands of people do this to help others. Where the problem is will be when organisations whoever they are or what their purpose is only find things for autistic people to do as long as they are not paid a salary. Why can't they find work suited the ability of the individual spend their time and effort in projecting the qualities and benefits that are on offer to employers. However this according to statistics does not happen, 85% do not work and within the remaining 15% is part time workers as well. I haven't seen the statistics for how many autistic people do voluntary work are there any? If there are then why are they not being paid to do this work because they have the ability to do what they do so why should we not enjoy the same privileges as people not on the spectrum and receive payment for our efforts. With benefit cuts and lack of welfare in the community it's these organisations that should be trying to find paid work to get us off of benefits not find work to be done that keeps us firmly entrenched in the benefit system taking away any self worth and little respect we had to begin with.

Hello Mark Welcome to the site. I haven't had any experience about the pressure it your head but that could be linked with anxiety or if you are having trouble sleeping that could give you this feeling if you are over tired or quite possibly the two combined. Congratulations of being sober for that time it's a continuous challenge but getting that far is a great achievement. Alcohol and this condition are going to be linked but equally there are many people who are not on the spectrum that are alcoholics so I would suggest it's more to do with associated conditions rather than the autism itself. I was alcohol dependant where I would need a drink to cope with anxiety and depression that everyday life can cause but I haven't been drinking in that manner for about three years. Not being in your exact position it's difficult to advise but I would say the autism has nothing to do with drinking concentrate on creating a peaceful life reduce stress and anxiety. I can drink in moderation now but I know that is not going to be for everybody so I am reluctant to say I was an alcoholic and can understand exactly how your feeling but I did depend on it for awhile.

Unfortunately I am not suitable to help with this but I would if I was within the right group of people. Hopefully somebody will decide to help as I feel it is a very worthwhile study.

I am seeing what your saying here and how the diagnosis made a big difference to your life and I am very pleased that it turned out this way for you. I still have my personal doubts maybe if I hadn't lost my job and become the object of different people's views on what I need to do to put my life in order maybe I wouldn't be feeling the way I do. It's good to know you had a good outcome from your assessment I hope many others feel the same as you do after their results are known to them.