Canopus

More like a naive approach from those who do not understand children. Absolutely true. Kids can learn all sorts of bad behaviour from school that they probably wouldn't learn if they stayed at home. In some cases kids behave badly in order to fit in with the crowd. If they didn't behave badly then they would get bullied and lose respect of their classmates. In other cases the teachers force bad habits and behaviour onto kids because they have poor or inappropriate standards themselves.

An excellent well written article. I hope it makes an impact. There are far too many people who think that a kid will learn social skills automatically if they are thrown in a room with 30 or so other kids their same age. My mother certainly thought so and applied for nursery over a year before I was to start in order to secure a place. The nursery operated using a free play system where kids were left to their own devices rather than engaged in organised activities. This was the system used in just about every state nursery 25 years ago and nobody back then ever seemed to question it. Only at milk time would the kids ever get together in some social activity but they were not allowed to talk until they had finished their milk. After that they could just play with the toys. The nursery staff complained to my parents - much to their dismay - that I hardly ever talked to or interacted with any of the other kids. They used to bring up this issue at least once a year afterwards until I finished university as if I had committed a cardinal sin. My attitude was that if the nursery staff wanted me to interact with other kids then they would have arranged organised group activities. If there was any time in my life when I most needed social skills sessions then it was at nursery. Sadly the system failed to provide this. At primary and secondary school I had difficulty relating to other kids and recognising social cues. When things went wrong my father used to regularly shout at me "use your social skills". I replied that I didn't have the necessary social skills but he didn't believe me and took it as nothing more than another instance of bad behaviour. My school couldn't understand my problems and neither could the EP or LEA. My doctor and psychologists at hospitals didn't think there was anything wrong with me. The school never put on any social skills lessons or even provided me with opportunities to discuss issues in small groups with teachers and kids during breaktimes or after school. My parents and the EP were more concerned about me fitting in and conforming than having a few good friends I could relate to well. I felt happier and more confident in the company of 1 or 2 good friends than in a classroom of 30 acquaintances. This never registered with my EP or entered my statement despite it being such a critical issue. I didn't want to go to school and conform. All I wanted was to be home educated and have a few good friends. My parents have an attitude that what's good for you or what you need is not necessarily what you like or what you want, which is why they approved of me attending a special needs residential school. It was written in the action plan of my statement that I needed social skills sessions but they were not provided by the school because they didn't believe in them. All the school did was provide an academic education in a harsh and strict environment. The school believed that such an environment would make kids behave, conform and come out as disciplined NT citizens with good GCSEs. Many of the staff had no knowledge of autism or SEN and could not understand the behaviour of many kids or how they reacted in certain situation. The school had zillions of unwritten rules and etiquette. Some of the rules were official school rules whilst others were unofficial and imposed by prefects and carestaff. No kids were given a handbook explaining the school rules and how the school is run when they started. They were expected to pick up the rules via social cues. Quite often the only way to find out about a rule was to break it. This would result in a blasting by the staff or other kids and often incurred penalties such as detentions. This was a very intimidating system and totally unsuited to kids with AS.

I agree with you on this. Sadly far too many people believe every word of the so called professionals whether it be educational psychologists or investment advisors even if it goes completely against ones own judgement and experience of things. Before the internet existed it was a case of professionals vs the parents. Now it is an easy task for parents to get additional verdicts and information from websites such as this, allowing them to query the advice of the professionals.

You just accepted the norm for the way it is without questioning it. Most other parents including mine have done the same because only an elite few free thinkers anywhere in the world ever question the norm or the popular culture of their society. They just accept the system of a country and its social norms as the way things are and don't need changing. Unless one knows of a parent whose kid is having problems fitting in the school system, or their kid is diagnosed with an incurable condition, then one is often blinkered to what is happening in reality because they blithely assume the norm is the right or conventional system that their kid must fit into. If their kid is not diagnosed with any problem and has difficulty fitting in with the system then it is only natural for most parents to forcibly attempt to make their kid fit in and comply rather than question the system or think there really is something wrong with their kid. Parents don't necessarily know best. They often just assume their kid will systematically fit in with the system or grow out of their problems. Good advice is difficult to come by and it is even more difficult to decide whether advice is good or whether it is misinformation.

The concept that kids should socialise primarily with their own age group is a vastly overrated concept that only came into existance when age segregated compulsory education was introduced. Prior to compulsory education, it was common for most kids to socialise with people over a wide age range because that was the natural system back then. Classes in most fee paying schools were organised along the lines of ability rather than age because that was seen as the most sensible and logical system and still is. Over 100 years of age segregated compulsory education has ingrained the minds of most British people - both kids and adults - that it is most desirable for kids to socialise primarily with their own age group rather than with people over a wide age range. Therefore, proponents that kids should socialise primarily with their own age group have little more than culture and tradition to back up their argument with.

I don't think anyone should struggle or suffer to get paper qualifications. If your kid hates school or the school refuses to take bullying seriously then get your kid out. All that theory about a waste of a good brain if one doesn't get paper qualifications is a load of tosh.

I would never recommend a fee paying grammar/independent/public school for someone with AS, but I'm not sure on the situation regarding grammar schools in areas with the 11+. Secondary schools in areas in areas with the 11+ are filled with kids of lower intelligence and more "chav like" than secondary schools in areas without the 11+. In other words they really are secondary moderns because the grammar schools have creamed off most of the academically able kids. Take this into account if you are planning a transfer. It would be a good idea to get your son statemented if you can.

All institutionalised education exists for are machines for passing exams. Schools are only interested in their position in league tables so couldn't really care less about anything other than GCSE or SATS results. Absolutely spot on.

I think some club for AS kids exists in Southampton. I'm not sure what they do.

Admission to universities is based on A Level grades, not GCSE grades. There is no requirement to have a single GCSE to enter university although some evidence of English language is required in addition to A Levels. This is usually achieved via an English GCSE although other qualifications exist as well. There is also no official requirement to have a GCSE to do an A Level. I think in a way this is selfish pride. The attitude "I pay my taxes - therefore I expect A1 service" sadly doesn't get anywhere in this world and never has done. The government will never bend over backwards to provide on a plate the needs of an individual. Most kids who get the best GCSE and A Level grades from state schools have had some sort of outside involvement such as private tutors, textbooks, or software. Most people who have succeeded in life have got off their backside and done something for themself rather than expected the government to provide for them. The truth is, the state will provide a child with an education. Not necessarily the best education or the education that is most suited to their needs or future ambitions, but an education. It has always been this way and probably always will be. You could always ask for another tutor but don't expect miracles if you get a new tutor.

It only costs around �30 per subject to enter onself in for a GCSE as a private candidate plus a possible administration charge between �5 and �30 per subject. This is regardless of what age the candidate is. It does NOT cost around �300 per subject no matter what you have read or were told. Coursework is marked by examiners for private candidates and not by the exam centre. There is no extra cost in marking coursework for most exams as it is included in the entry charge. Exam boards list which subjects can be taken by private candidates and most subjects offered by state schools can be taken. The total cost of 12 GCSEs will therefore be between �360 and �720 and not �3600 as you make it out to be. There is also the cost of textbooks, tutor's fees, and equipment on top of that. There is no real requirement to do 12 GCSEs (or any at all) so you son will not be disadvantaged in later life by just taking 4 or 5 of them providing he has maths and English.

That's completely untrue. It is quite easy to take exams outside of the school system even if coursework is involved and it isn't all that expensive. If anything, it is easier to take exams outside of the school system today than it was 15 years ago and thousands of kids and adults up and down the country do it every year. The government hasn't reorganised the exam system to make things difficult. Check out http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=4168 for more info on alternatives to using school to get qualifications. It is best to check out the home ed community for more info on taking exams in specific subjects and issues relating to coursework. They are likely to reveal a lot more than I know.

I was on home tuition for 2 terms in Y8. The work I was set was the same as what the school covered during Y8 and most of it was too easy and trivial for me. I had GCSE textbooks and could do most of the Y10 and Y11 work. My tutor thought that I was lazy, restless, and uncommitted. I explained that the work was too easy and I wanted more advanced material but she told me that she had to teach what the school set and not what I wanted to do. Several times I showed her solutions to exercises and questions from GCSE textbooks in the attempt that I would be allocated more advanced work but nothing changed because she knew I would be attending a special needs school in the near future so would be in their hands. She wasn't very happy about my interest in computers and that I regularly did my homework on the computer. ICT wasn't a timetabled subject at school back then and nobody in my year at my former school had any ICT lessons. My experience of state supplied home tutors is that they are automatons that are forced to teach exactly what is taught in the school for the year group the kid is in. They also seem to have little understanding of SEN. My tutor thought that the special needs school I was destined for would magically correct me even though she had no idea what it was like.

Err. Are these the mercury amalgam fillings? The shiny black ones.

It has crossed my mind more than once that Stephen King suffers from AS. One needs to have a seriously miswired brain to write stuff along the lines of what he has written. Suze. How young is young? The film about the clown is IT with an age rating of 18.

Start him with the A Level. They have questions like "factorise this equation" so your son will probably find them easier than his homework assignments. You can find A Level textbooks in good libraries and bookshops. Lower secondary school tries to make maths questions fit in with real world situations to the point where they are so tied up with wordy waffle that they become incomprehensible to all but the most expert wordsmiths. This is because traditional maths was deemed to be too boring and needed spicing up.

I have only attended one Halloween party in my life and that was when I was 11. It took place in a local church hall and most kids were dressed up as witches or wore masks. I had no idea what I was supposed to represent by wearing a black cloak and a top hat, but they were the only things I had at home that were suitable for the occasion. The vicar walked in and threw a fit. He shouted "what in Jesus's ###### name is going on in here? Witches in a church! Get out of here! Shift your ar*e! Move it!". He was only in his 30s but very strict and opposed to pagan rituals or anything that could be interpreted as the work of Satan.

Can anyone confirm whether these facts are true for statemented kids transferring from a state school to a fee paying independent school. 1. Statements are only exist for kids attending state schools or state funded SEN schools. They do not exist for kids attending independent schools. Once a statemented kid is deregistered from a state school prior to transfer to an independent school, their statement is effectively thrown in the bin. 2. Independent schools have no right to ask whether applicants have been statemented. If the school asks then the parents of a previously statemented kid have the right to deny that their kid was ever statemented. 3. Independent schools cannot determine whether an applicant was statemented or not by asking the LEA because LEAs are legally obliged to refuse to supply such information to third parties. 4. Independent schools cannot find out about any bad behaviour that took place at a previous state school unless someone from that school personally knows someone who works at the independent school. This is also because LEAs are legally obliged to refuse to supply such information to third parties. 5. Independent schools cannot find out if an applicant has been expelled from a state school. If the school asks then the parents have the right to deny that their kid was expelled. The LEA is legally obliged to refuse to supply information about expulsions to third parties.

There used to be loads of special needs residential schools in the 1980s and early 90s and almost every one of these including my former school closed down between 1990 and 1995. Most were badly run institutions governed by people who did not understand SEN or care much about the welfare and future of children. All they were interested in was money and power. In some cases staff had a vindictive attitude and took pleasure in dishing out pain and misery on innocent defenceless children simply because they got a thrill out of it. Often the prevailing attitude at the time was that kids need more discipline and it should be imposed by whatever means is most appropriate including the use of violence, intimidation, or fear. The primary objective of these schools was not to provide a suitable learning environment for kids with SEN, but to reform them into normal people. Over time information emerged that these schools did more harm than good, so LEAs became more and more reluctant to send kids to them. As a result of not being able to get sufficient SEN kids to keep the schools running they had no choice but to close. Perhaps if AS was known about in the educational community during the 1980s and that it was incurable, then some of these schools would have adapted themselves to become AS specialist centres. Now we have a situation where there are insufficient schools for kids with AS because most of the potential schools closed down over a decade ago.

Funny you mention this. My father used to - and still sometimes does - ask me questions about myself phrased in a quirky obtuse way. I'm sure he has be trained to ask questions in such a way as part of his psychiatry education. I think it is intended as a trap to falsely diagnose people as schizophrenic when in reality they are not.

Considering that AS has only been an official condition since 1995 then it really is too early to say whether it could metamorphasise into schizophrenia as one grows older. I am tempted to say the reverse is more likely as children may have been diagnosed with schizophrenia prior to 1995 but would be diagnosed with AS today.

I had difficulties coming to terms with AS as a varient of autism, and this was highlighted on a previous post. Everyone else claimed that AS is a varient of autism rather than a condition in its own right so I suppose I lost the argument. Perhaps I don't really understand what autism is in general or I am thinking along the lines of old outdated theories of autism.

Allegedly 4 out of 5 adults diagnosed with AS are unemployed. Out of interest, are you willing to reveal your son's previous career? It may have been something that isn't particularly suited to people with AS - either because of the nature of the work or because the type of people that are attracted to that career are likely to be hostile towards people with AS. Help for adults with AS is scarce and I am in the process of identifying organisations who will deal with adults. Most help and support organisations focus on kids at school.

History really does repeat itself. My EP came out with very similar comments even though it was plainly evident that they were baseless and unfounded. Some EPs really think they are second only to God when it comes to making arrangements for SEN.

My educational psychologist certainly blamed my parents for allowing me to spend too many hours at home in front of a computer or doing some other solitary activity. She repeatedly told them that I should get out more and mix with people my own age in team activities. My reply was that I regularly went out to visit places of interest such as museums or go for walks in the park or by the beach, but this didn't impress her because I would go with my family or one or two friends. I couldn't see what was wrong with this. I knew nothing about Kanner at the time but the refrigerator mother theory was probably going strong even as late as 1989. It would be difficult to deny from my statement, that the solution to my problems was to force me to mix with other kids in a disciplined environment where team activities prevailed.