Flora

Hi Annea, As you know I'm still in the transition with Bill. It took him a while to settle in, but he is really starting to benefit now. As far as tips go obviously it depends on the child/teenager. However, a postive attitude, being upbeat (even when you're feeling wobbly) is very important. Hopefully the school will send photos and timetables in preperation for her starting to help her visualise where/what. Help her pack a bag of things she can put in her room to make it feel like her room. Be prepared for her to wobble a bit when she first starts (she might not... she might be really happy from the first day but best be prepared). If this does happen, you can reassure her that it's a perfectly natural way to feel at first but she will soon get used to it. It's important to get the balance right between being supportive/sympathetic, but not allowing her to belabour or dwell on it. Remaining upbeat and matter of fact will help. I'm sure others will have something to add to that. Do you have a start date for her? Flora

hiya suze, sorry I only just saw this. I'm not entirely sure, but I think that their records are transferred to the secondary school. Although it is also not unlikely this may not be the case. I know that when kids transfer, the school they are going to are certainly given information.... whether this is through an abridged version of their primary school file, or if it's the actual contents of the file, I don't know. Perhaps the best solution would be to go into the school office and ask them if what you are looking for is still held on your son's file, and if not where will it be. Hope you get what you need. Flozziexxxx

Well apparentely the change of car worked.... people carrier without a leather interior and no vomiting on the way home Still got the same driver, but we can live with that Flo'

Absolutely flippin' fantastic and marvellous I'm soooooo pleased for you Annea. Well done to all of you. <'> Flora XXXXXXXXXXX

I think anyone who can have anything like that done at the dentist, without sedation is very brave! I always have to have 20mg of temazepan before having anything done Well done Jsmum, and well done J for being so supportive Flora

Stella, that's lovely, you must be really proud Flora

Goodness... I've done this many times... does that make me an idiot??? I say 'many', but in realityprobably 2 or 3 times... I've accidently put my shopping on the 'basket only' conveyor belt, not to be ignorant but because I genuinely didn't see the sign I tend to walk around in a bit of a trance Flora

Hi Loulou I really hope your MP can pull some strings here. It would make perfect sense for him to be at the 52 week school. He needs a consistant and stable environment... and sending him back to the this foster carer isn't going to give him that if she can't cope with him. Flora <'>

I finally heard back from the LA SEN transport lady..... and she has said from immediate effect she's asked the taxi company to use a car that doesn't have leather seats and has seats higher up from the road than the car he's been using. On Monday Bill went in the taxi with a packet of sherbert lemons and some travel wrist bands, and these seemed to help. Hopefully these two things, with a different car (and maybe a different driver ) might just do the trick. Oh, latest one from the driver.... the transport lady told me that he'd rang them to see if they could make it so that he gets picked up before lunch time on a Friday so that he travels on an empty stomach. How very dare he? It's not up to him to suggest my son takes 2 hours off a school day every week Anyway, here's hoping the change in car will solve all of this. Flora

I know a lot of teachers/schools are against withdrawing a child from the main class for 1-1 teaching, however before we relocated down here in 2004 my youngest used to have a withdrawal session once a day with a special needs teacher at his school. This worked really well for him and she got him reading when we never thought he would. When we moved I was naive enough to think that this would be automatically available at his next school.... I was very quickly disabused of that notion! I would say it doesn't matter what the thoughts are behind it.... I'm all for 1-1 teaching to help bring a child on a stage or two. I know my son would have learned to read eventually but I don't think it would have happend as early as it did (even thought he was very late) if he hadn't had the 1-1 sessions. View it as a good thing! Flora

Kathryn, I'm sure your husband will be delighted to know that Tally, the cake looks nice. I think the rough look looks good too The fruit looks nice, but I really dislike the taste of marzipan. Flora

Until I read through this thread I'd forgotten about it but my youngest used to often come out of school quite damp! I think it was more to do with the distractions around him than anything else; he'd get focussed on playing or doing something and just forget to go and then leave it too late. Quite often I think he hadn't had a full accident... I think he'd just leaked a bit before he could get to the loo. Perhaps this is more the case with your son? A child who fully wets him/herself are usually absolutely soaking (shoes and socks get wet etc) so it may be just little half accidents due to his attention being elsewhere. This will probably stop once he gets used to the school day routine. Flora

Sounds very promising Chris. You can also apply for a statutory assessment as a parent, you don't have to wait for the school to do so. If you already know you have their back up then it might be a good idea to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later as it is quite a lengthy process. Flora

I'm reading 'The Brethren' by John Grisham. I started reading it yesterday and I'm about 4 chapters from the end and really enjoying it. Flora

Yeah, pookie, and you should know because you started it!!! Floz xx

I think I remember you, but I might be thinking of something different boom boom! Sorry, that was a very poor joke. Welcome back Flora

For tribunal you don't have to have a solicitor. Theoretically the tribunal costs for parents (no matter the outcome) is free. You may decide that you would like legal representation at the hearing and you would have to pay these costs. You can get legal aid (if you're entitled) for tribunal preparation, but you would still have to pay for a solicitor/barrister to attend the hearing. Also, if you want independent professional input (eg, EP, SALT, OT) you could also get this on legal aid if they are instructed by a legal aid solicitor, but you'd still have to pay for their attendance at tribunal. If you're not entitled to legal aid and decide to use a solicitor and independent professionals to help with your case... this can run into thousands (average cost about �15000, but some end up paying more, some end up paying less). Flora

Yay Suze That's great, well done your ds, and well done you for sticking to your guns (you bl**dy c*w ) Flozzie xxx

baddad, Well you know I didn't want you to go.... but really looking forward to some interesting discussions now that you don't have other responsibilites on the forum Good luck with all your planned endeavours in r/l too. Flozza <'> xxx

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Are the sick emoticons the anti-dote or did you forget to post a link? Floz

Hi Nikki, Welcome to the forum. I really enjoyed reading your introductory post... lovely positive attitude. Flora

Hi Loulou <'> I really do think that under the circumstances you've done absolutely the right thing. I think it's highly likely that there's 6 of 1 and half dozen of the other. He feels unhappy about not coming home, and he wants to make you feel bad... that's a perfectly normal reaction. I think whatever you decide to do next, it's really important that the message is repeated however many times it takes for it to sink in, that the reason that Kai has had to stay with a foster carer is the result of his own actions; in fact if anyone has control over what happens next it's him, because he is the only person who can eventually take some control over his behaviour... How he gets to that stage depends on the cause of his anger and aggression and it seems very likely that he will need a lot of help to get there from a variety of people. It won't be a quick fix, but it's a necessary one for his sake and for you and your whole family. The worst part is over, ie, the decision and taking the first steps. The rest is going to be hard work but hopefully now you've taken those first steps things will never be this bad again. Best wishes Flora XX ps... Edited to add..... There is no reason why you could upset anyone by pouring your heart out over this experience. Keep posting if it helps loulou... xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Kazzen, Yes he's always sat in the front. I think one of the problems that's made his car sickness worse is that the taxi has a leather interior and the smell makes him feel sick as soon as he gets in. They do have the windows open.... but that's one of the things the taxi driver has complained about. My car is quite high up, and the taxi is low to the ground and Bill reckons this also makes him feel worse. Anyway, not much I can do over the weekend. I'll send him in on monday with his beaker of ice, sickness meds and some 'sea bands' which I just managed to get this week. If that doesn't work then I'll have to think again. I'll also get some proper travel sick bags. I've already spoke to the driver and diplomatically told him that I do sympathise with his plight, but could he perhaps not make such a big thing of it to Bill. Things are going so well at school, and now the taxi driver is playing up If he does it again I'll have to put him in the naughty corner Flo'

Hi Kirstie I have two on the spectrum too so have some idea what you might be feeling. My boys are older now (14 and a 11). The youngest one had more problems developmentally than the oldest one when he was younger (he didn't talk until he was nearly 4 and when was dx with a language disorder/delay when he was 6), but oddly he's now the least affected of the two... he is a rare case of a kid with a dx who is trully happy at school and in his life. I'm telling you this just to show that you can't make assumptions about their future.... everything is still a possibility for your little ones... the road might be rockier and certainly different.... but they can still fulfill their dreams (and yours). Enjoy your session tonight, that sounds like a really good idea.... Flo' <'>