Enid

My ds had a CAT scan yesterday, they said it would only take 5 mins, but we were kept waiting 45mins, and he kept saying this is ridiculous lets go. its a 2hr round trip to hospital so I really didnt want to go, he was just getting up to leg it down corridor when nurse case bustling up and he went off with her like a lamb! Breathe out!! Enid

My ds, 12yrs, was a scout from sept o7 to dec 07. He loved it and was very well behaved. When he started having these violent rages and unpredictable behaviour between xmas and new year he was not in a fit state to attend, but recently I was thinking of letting him start again but his behaviour is still too unpredicable so am leaving it for the moment. Enid

I used to dread picking up my 4, even though I was a pre-school teacher at the adjoining nursery, well it was just the ONE actually, now aged 12, but between 6 to 11 it was painful` His teacher always came out with a long litany of complaints and it ruined the eveing, till I came up with a points system, 1 to 10, with 1 being abysmel and 10 being superb, all numbers had a descibing adjective, the teacher used to write the number on his hand and when we got home he could match it with his chart, 5 and under earnt an early night, 8 and over earnt an extra half hour up to play cards with mum, just me an him. It worked well for years, and stopped the pressure at the end of the school day. Now he`s older its very different, but it workered for us at the time, Enid

I used to dread picking up my 4, even though I was a pre-school teacher at the adjoining nursery, well it was just the ONE actually, now aged 12, but between 6 to 11 it was painful` His teacher always came out with a long litany of complaints and it ruined the eveing, till I came up with a points system, 1 to 10, with 1 being abysmel and 10 being superb, all numbers had a descibing adjective, the teacher used to write the number on his hand and when we got home he could match it with his chart, 5 and under earnt an early night, 8 and over earnt an extra half hour up to play cards with mum, just me an him. It worked well for years, and stopped the pressure at the end of the school day. Now he`s older its very different, but it workered for us at the time, Enid

I used to dread picking up my 4, even though I was a pre-school teacher at the adjoining nursery, well it was just the ONE actually, now aged 12, but between 6 to 11 it was painful` His teacher always came out with a long litany of complaints and it ruined the eveing, till I came up with a points system, 1 to 10, with 1 being abysmel and 10 being superb, all numbers had a descibing adjective, the teacher used to write the number on his hand and when we got home he could match it with his chart, 5 and under earnt an early night, 8 and over earnt an extra half hour up to play cards with mum, just me an him. It worked well for years, and stopped the pressure at the end of the school day. Now he`s older its very different, but it workered for us at the time, Enid

My ds has stolen from the local shops, twice, first time I read the riot act but didnt make him go back to shop, think it was because we live in village and its so embarassing, but second time he got caught, as far as I know he`s not done it again, but at school he used to take home all kinds of things, like rubbers, pens, all sorts of things, I could never seem to make him understand the significence of it. Once it was an asthma inhaler! Enid

Yes! all quiet on the western front, a lovely quiet day. batteries recharged, ready for next time, thanks to everyone for taking time to reply, it means a lot to know youre not in this alone. Enid

no its a good idea, bought him a punch bag for same reason, trouble is, he is so lovely and reasonable when he is not like it that he always agrees to suggestions and then he wont entertain them when he is, I will try the newspaper idea though, especialy if I do it with him, anything is worth a try as I am in great danger of losing my lovely son. We are all off for a walk with dog now and so far today has been great, but so were last two days till 6ish. Enid

My personal opinion is CAHMS, not that I rate them much, but it makes other professionals take more notice and keeps them on theis toes! Enid

Hi, We live in the back of beyond so no playschemes round here, CAMHS are writing to ss to ask them to reopen case and support us, perhaps with a carer a coupe of evenings a week, these seem to be the worst times. He is usually worst in his own home, but whilst staying with family a few weeks ago, he was the same as at home after a few days, very worrying. I have emailed the address given on this site re direct payments but no reply as yet, I would even consider paying up front but dont know anybody who could cope with him!! thanks again everyone for the support, it means a lot. Enid

Thank you so so much for all your replies, I will take it all on board, you would probably find It hard to believe that most of my working life was spent working with children in the care system!! I usually remember to have doors locked at all times so it did escalate it when he saw me locking them, but whatever I do to calm him dowm just seems to delay it, sometimes I think I`ve done it then I hear doors banging and kids say he`s stating again. It was holidays when he was at his worst last time, so maybe its that, I am just so glad to have found this site as it really helps to know you are not in it alone, cheers. Enid

Its all I think about,I have 4 children, but 1 of them is ruling life in the house and out of it, its not just the youngest 2 who are affected, the oldest, who is a big strapping lad, but a very gentle soul, is driven by the fact that something might happen to me while he`s out, and its a very real possibilty that it might, the youngest, who was 6 on saturday, has developed an awful habit of blinking all the time, which I am sure is stress, and the 9 year old, god love her, reads to the 6yr old when it all kicks off so he won`t get upset, but how do you chose between your children??? when you love them all with a passion, and how could you sleep knowing you had chosen to give up on one of them? sorry, its late, I should sleep while I`ve got the chance, things always look better in the morning. night. Enid.

Nothing really happened when I got my diagnosis for my ds 9 at time, 12 now, since joining this site very recently I have learnt loads, so keep logged on, its the only thing that keeps me sane some nights lately, knowing that i am the only one going through it! Enid

just found this thread so thought I`d contribute! postive, well, didnt have to phone police and managed meltdown with help of ds1. All 3 youngest all asleep and am just bout to have a glass of red. Enid

He had wanted a 99p toy from shop, and I used the no word! At least I think it was that, I did lock doors and left him alone for some time but he starts trashing lounge and he knows this will get a reaction, I walked through calmly with a pile of washing in my hands, ignored the kicking of furniture and foul language and appalling threats but did not go to kitchen as he would lean against door to stop me getting back or put something against it! then I cant get to the little ones, he is soo awful when he is like this that its like he`s possessed. He then backed me into corner and punched me a number of times. He`s fast asleeep in bed now with his bit of blanky that he sleeps with, so we live to do it all again tomorrow. Enid. PS have just ordered all books recommended from amazon on express delivery!

Just posted reply but its not arrived on site, gremlins again? To say ds had serious meltdown again, read about sensory rooms etc but how on earth do you get them there!! he started in lounge tapping feet, glaring at us, got 2 littles upstairs and locked doors so he couldnt run out, big mistake as when he got me they couldnt get help, he was very violent again and got me cornered, I pressed quick dail on mobile in pocket and ds1 burst through door 5mins later, ds3 and dd screaming on stairs. It cant go on, but we have no support, am scared that if I ring ss or police adain, they`ll take him away for good. Watching eastenders now in his pjs as though nothing`s happened. Hope things get better soon. Enid

Well it made me laugh so that helps!! I had no choice when ss got involved as J was taken away by police 3 times in a week, So they got in touch with me, very embarassing as I actually worked for them for years! Yes it does sound just like my son, yesterday he barracaded himself in room tho, which if he does it again when I am alone I will have to get help as am scared he may hurt himself, Enid.

HI , Thanks for all replies, we had been out walking the dog on the beach which is something we do most days, I had an ss assessment when things got soo bad between xmas an new year, in fact that was the very fisrt time he had ever had meltdowns or been violent, and at the time it was so excessive that he was put in a respite centre for a period of assessment and because we couldnt physically control him at home. I had a letter from ss recently saying the 3 month period of assessment had now ended and they were closing the case. I would LOVE some help at home, anyone out there single, strong, like kids!! just joking! I have emailed address from this site regarding direct payments and received a reply giving me a different email address, have had no reply yet. I would love to have weighted blanket but during meltdowns he trashes everything, and not sure how sturdy they are!!! Enid

Good luck! hopes he`s as bad tomorrow so she gets to see it. My mornings were also like that, our sons are same age and I also have two younger, now I wake him at 7.35, give him his meds, help him to get dressed! he then washes, brushes teeth, and taxi arrives at 7.45! he dosnet have time to wake up!!! he takes cereal bar and drink with him, until taxi drives away I dont breathe out.

My son definately saves his worst behaviour for home! at meetings he wont speak or just sits meekly, could do with cctv cams in all rooms so I could show them what really happens behind closed doors! Enid

No Mel, that whats so awful, It seems to be nothing these days, we had had a lovely day, he was slightly hypo, but then he often is! He is definately getting more violent and unpredicable, god knows where it will all end. Enid

Hi all, DD had a serious meltdown, lasting an hour, which is relatively short for him as they can go on for hours, but there was no reason that I could see for it, he was very very violent and we and him would have been seriously hurt if not for the fact my 18yr old son came home. Its 11 days since the last one, was just starting to relax, and then this, I feel I have to be on red alert all the time, he hit me and punched me loads of times and trashed his room, when I got out of the room he barracaded himself in and said he would hang himself, DD1 arrived home then and got his arm through door, which was promptly bitten, badly, just feel like I can`t take any more, the 2 little ones are again traumatised, I ache everywhere with the effort of trying to stop him hurting us and himself and smashing everything. Had meeting at CAMHS on friday who say he is on right medication, 1mg resperidone twice a day, 50mg Equasym XL. We would be zombies on that! So no help, but what an earth am I going to do when he gets bigger, he is so strong now, sorry for moan but all traumatised by suddeness and ferocity of metldown. Enid.

I have been in similar sisuation when my ds also 12 stole on 2 occassions from local shop, he wanted bubble gum and I said no, he siad I`ll walk out of shop and run away, I ignored this but when we got home he had it in pocket, I really went to town as i was soo cross, he had melt down from hell, I decided not to tell shop, big mistake as he did it again, this time was caught, they also read him the riot act and as far as I know he has not done it again Enid

I'm wondering if CAMHS (what ever they are!) could help? many thanks mel xx It stands for Children and Adult Mental Health Services. You usually ask GP. Enid

Phenergan or something like that! is a travel sick tablet which can also be used as a seditave, my sister gave some to her son who is always sick on car journeys and he slept all the way. Enid