Stephanie

Sounds like its how he finds his comfort zone. Or could it perhaps be something "he has to do" as part of one of his rituals. My son is compelled by his rituals ... he just "has to do them" to make himself feel better. How long did the Mario thing last and what made him change over? Could you introduce some new rules, maybe say that he can wear that outfit on Tuesdays and Saturdays or something. Would he cope if it was dirty or ripped (my son has to have everything perfect). I think like most kids, if you want to make changes, it has to be a very gradual process, with lots of forewarnings etc. My sons fads seem to fade quickly and once he is done with them he doesn't look back (his latest is "tools" he goes around hammering everything and looking for loose screws .. ironic!) ... Bucket boy ... and they say they don't have an imagination!!!

Yeah I got that on Friday (see post) ... When the Head Teacher and the school Teacher started walking towards me in the playground as I waited to pick my son up I knew it was bad news. "Can we have a quick word" ... all hushed tones so none of the other parents could hear, me feeling totally let down and humiliated. It's the sentence that automatically makes me feel like I am the worst parent ever.

... and I thought he was doing so well. There was an incident at school on Friday where my son got totally over emotional about not winning a game, ended up lashing at a couple of girls in his class (not too badly but enough to make me angry!) One was stabbed with a pencil (but it didn't mark). He had to go and see the Head Teacher and cried a lot ... he is only 5 so doesn't really understand what he has done or the consequences of his actions. He has been told off by us and had to buy the girls sweets and write a note to say sorry with his �1 pocket money. I dropped the sweets off at school but didn't manage to see all the parents. I feel terrible about it, like all the Mums in the playground are chatting about him. All he keeps saying is "I'm so sorry, so sorry" ... but I don't think he really knows what for. He was given a social story about how he can't win at every game. He is ok losing games with us at home. He has a new Teacher who hasn't worked with HFA kids or ASD kids before, she has a different style to his old teacher and obviously there are changes in class. He is in Year 1 of a small mainstream infant school. The teacher wants to see me on Thursday to talk about coping strategies ... how we manage him at home etc. He gets extra help 2 hours per day from his statement by an ex dinnerlady (still not happy about that!) At home he is an angel (really), dead calm and not agressive at all ... in fact the opposite, he plays with his baby brother really well and never has meltdowns or gets angry ... although he can cry easily about very small things at times. He is just so socially challenged around other kids and has so much to learn. He was doing so well, and has progressed so much in the last 6 months I can hardly believe it ... then this happens and sets us back again. The rollercoaster .... Anyway, what I really need is a link or information to give to this new teacher about how best to manage ASD kids, I mean, I know what works at home but are there any guidelines that I could give to school. Things like prompting, not saying no but explaining what he should be doing instead, saying his name at the beginning of a sentence and not at the end etc. Just the "autistic" basics suitable for a 5 year old. If anyone has any information like this or can give any advice, that would be great! I just hope he is having a better day.

I have posted about this before. I have a five year old who just eats rubbish, he is reluctant (putting it very mildly) to try any new foods. He always says he hates things without even trying them ... unless they are sweet, he will ALWAYS try sweet things. He doesn't eat sweets or chocolates themselves ... but he will have biscuits etc for snacks. His evening meals at the moment alternate between breadsticks and dairylea, chips with bread and butter (has to be cut into triangles!), or crackers and dairylea, sometimes toast but only with a sweet topping. I feel terrible about that. He will have some fruit on rare occasions, no meat (except McD chicken nuggets), no vegetables, doesn't eat hard cheese, beans, etc. We had him checked by the nutrition team, and he isn't lacking in any food groups. He is doing ok on that front, they told us not to force him to try things and leave him be. It just gets so difficult when visiting relatives, Christmas dinner at school, eating at friends houses, when we go to a restaurant etc, I am always taking sandwiches for him everywhere we go. A lot of you have said before that your kids were like this but they have grown out of it. What kind of age does this happen and how do you get them to change?? We have tried everything, sometimes he will try things if there is social pressure to ... he might say he even likes it, but when you offer it again he will say he didn't like it. Any comments or recommendations?

Damn, if only I'd seen this before doing 2 hours of back breaking ironing myself!

My son used to always have to have his legs and arms covered - hated shorts etc and it was an incredibly hot summer and I wanted him to wear shorts on holiday. It took me a while to get him in T shirts but he was just so stubborn about not wearing shorts. I went through a week of preparing him for the fact that he was going to wear shorts on Wednesday .. he was saying 'no he wasn't', having strops at the very idea etc. When Wednesday came, I had to force his trousers off and put shorts on him whilst he was kicking and screaming - I told him he was wearing them for one hour then he could take them off - if he took them off himself, I had told him I would take away his favourite video. He wore them for an hour reluctantly. The next day he wore them for 2 hours happily. The next day he automatically put shorts on in the morning and has never looked back!! I may be deemed as a terrible mother for "making" him do things that he doesn't want to do but there comes a point with me that I have to intervene ... same when it came to getting him out of nappies - again, I'm glad I did. I'm not saying you should be as me either, just trying to show that sometimes you have to take small steps, build up to it then take baby steps to get there. My son can be bargained with, some might say "bribed" , I realise that not all children can. I loved the slippers and dressing gown idea - a nightime coat and shoes. Now my son is a bit older he doesn't have the sensory problems with clothes - apart from socks, he always has to have socks on, at night etc. and if there is ever a hole in one of them - pandamonium!

I think the word "Autism" is popular - most people have heard of it. Very few people however know the symptoms or realise what it exactly is.

I used to do that with my son and his teddies like saying "oh no, you've hurt Teddy's feelings and he won't want to be your friend if you say things like that" ... They have set up a little social group at school on a Wednesday afternoon - him and 6 other kids, but primarily for him (mainstream school) where they learn about manners, courtesy, turn taking and friendship. Would that be worth suggesting to your childs school?

The Poison, Bullet for My Valentine. RAWK!

Could it be anything else, depression maybe? change of contraception? medications? Have a think!

I was about 12 when I gave up toys ... for boys! I think I left the dolls behind, and started getting into make up and acting more grown up (so I thought). I have a nephew who is 13 and is still mad on toys, like those robot transformer things etc. I get mad at him for still wanting toys for Christmas and always make a point of not buying toys for him. He has a bedroom crammed with toys (even babyish ones) he just can't seem to let go of them. I think boys must play with toys for longer. I guess girls still have soft toys etc but leave all the role play toys behind at an earlier age.

Ha ha, last time we went to Hamleys (we go quite often, living close to London etc), my son ran into a MASSIVE stuffed giraffe that went hurtling on to the top of the head of a guy who was crouching down doing up his shoe laces!! I'm surprised it didn't kill him, this giraffe was about life size and �3,500! I was mortified. Even without the heat and crowds, all the toys are enough to give anyone sensory overload. There's too much choice, my son always leaves there with nothing because the choice is too overwhelming. He doesn't usually get too bothered with sensory things. Best bit about Hamleys though ... for anyone contemplating it ... is the sweets department!!! Husband is partial to the chocolate brazils, his last pick'n'mix was �6.00. The Rainforest Cafe (Trocadero) in London is brilliant, we love it ... but not for the kids who dont like crowds ... or roaring gorillas!

My son never used to echo my words but he had strange patterns of speech - like he used to get "me, you, I, yours and mine" all twisted up, Also he never called me Mummy or held a two way conversation. He was assessed at 3 years 10 months. As he was my first child, I was late recognising that his speech was delayed ... and blamed myself for not talking to him enough in the daytime (I got frustrated with his lack of communication). He attended a small speech and language cluster for 6 months which brought him on no end. He started a bit of echolia at age 4 ... just repeating what I had said in a higher pitched tone (like he was using it to buy time whilst he thought of an answer to my question). He is now 5 1/2 ... and is at age appropriate level (woo hoo!) ... in the last 6 months, he has just seemed to pick up language (I think reading the subtitles on TV and a junior thesaurus have helped), he now has a great vocabulary and sometimes shocks me with the things he says. He still has areas of communication that he struggles with and still sometimes takes a while to process a question that someone has asked him. Since his language has improved, the echolia has totally gone though. You might see dramatic changes in your child once they start school, remember he is still very young. Good luck with the assessment.

I just had Stone Sour on in the car ... cos it makes my little son Griffin do a funny dance in the back seat.

Neil That's brilliant!!! If I was one of your colleagues, I would feel proud to work with you. Well done. Let us know what reactions you get. ... and make sure the PR guy pays for lunch!

Yeah our dieticians said the same kind of thing about Omega 6. In fact they took him off all of his multivits and other supplements saying they weren't necessary. I loved the idea of trying my son on cod liver oil .... yeah right!!! ha ha, having tasted it myself ONCE ... I'll leave that one! EPO = insomnia, I will give it a miss then. Again, I'm just clutching at straws for a "miracle". I think the pro and pre biotic drinks are working well though.

Yeah it's great to hear them laugh and know that they are enjoying themselves, it makes you enjoy it yourself more too!

I know children with ASD's are prone to being bullied. My son isn't being bullied at present but I wondered what is the best stance to take ... is it better to tell your kid that if he gets hit, hit the bully back and not to just take it .... or is it better to say don't hit them back, tell a Teacher etc .. (and be a victim??) My parents always had the "hit them back twice as hard rule" whereas I haven't really adopted that approach with my kids. Anyone had experience?

My son often comes back with some of his lunch still in his box because "it's unhealthy" or deemed so by some nosey dinner lady. They have a no chocolate bars, cans or sweets rule which is fine. If I put a jaffa cake in (just one) or give him a special treat like a jammy dodger on a Friday it usually comes back because he's too afraid to eat it in case he gets in trouble (he is only 5). It makes me furious because he is such a fussy eater, it took me a good year to get him to even eat bread for his sandwiches for school (and still now he will only have jam, lemon curd etc). Today he had 4 sandwich quarters (apricot jam), carton of apple juice, a squeezy yoghurt, a cereal bar and a pear. That would be his normal Monday - Thursday sandwich box - is that so bad? On a Friday he has chocolate sandwiches and a small treat like one biscuit. Obviously because he is HFA breaking this Friday routine would be a nightmare (he HAS to have chocolate sandwiches on a Friday!) - love him! He's not overweight, he is active and healthy ... what the chuff has it got to do with them what I feed my child. I would love him to eat pitta bread, houmous and celery sticks, but it's not gonna happen because of the way he is! Anyway, I am glad it is not just me.

Hello there, Yes the diagnosis is crushing and it takes a while to come to terms with - some of us haven't even after several years. You can be in denial and it is like a whole grieving process that you have to go through once your child is diagnosed. She will probably be thinking the worst, and have her childs whole life planned out with the bleakest outcome imagined for a while. Your friend just needs support, patience and understanding. She may also need to be reassured that her child is still her child whether labelled with a condition or not. At this stage, knowledge is power - although don't get too wrapped in all the textbook stuff about autism ... you will see from the postings on here, how individual all the children are.

Great idea, I hope this helps you out long term. I also hope that you don't meet any unneccesary prejudice once things are all out in the open. Maybe you could say how you want to be treated and spoken to .. otherwise you might find that some people just ignore you rather than speak to you because they find things a bit 'awkward' or feel that they may be approaching you in the wrong way. Remember that first and foremost you are a person, being an Aspie is just part of that. It is important for other people to realise that too. I think a lighthearted more fun approach would work better than a more matter of fact detailed description. I am sure you will be fine at the interview - you know yourself better than anyone else afterall. Looks like your Boss has been given all the relevant information now and it has registered with him - which is great. Well done for being bold enough to take a stand.

Of course, the late great John Peel's favourite track - Teenage Kicks by the Undertones. Back to you ... Harmful elements in the air symbols clashing everywhere Reaps the fields of rice and reeds while the population feeds Junk floats on polluted water an old custom to sell your daughter Would you like number 23? Leave your yens on the counter please Hmm, feeling quite hungry ....

Isn't there a book called "all cats have AS" or something. Ours hates any kind of bed, he just goes from place to place - under the bed, in the wardrobe, dining room chair. That's when he comes in of course, he treats the place like a hotel and only comes in when it's feeding time. My old cat, had one of those bed things you put on the radiator - like made of sheepskin that hangs over the top of the radiator - he loved that. Although thats more a winter thing.

Happy Birthday - keep rockin'!

My son writes stuff like that, he loves experimenting with words and spellings. Some of the words he has made up have become every day language in our house. How old is your daughter? Can she read etc? Does she write normal words too?