DaisyProudfoot

Hi, Martin (9) just told me that the man in his computer game "had a Golden Receiver" - a what? He mean't Golden Retriever! Bless

Hi Jomarie, We got my son's official dx three days ago even though we'd known unofficially for ages and been dealing with him as if he had it for god knows how many years! I didn't want to talk about it then because it's so hard to comprehend isn't it? On the one hand I too am relieved but I feel awful too, almost as if by taking it down this route I've now labelled him for life and perhaps I should have left well alone and just let him get on with his life the best way he can. I know it should make things easier at school and at home and once we tell him (he's 9 - when do you do that - when do they understand what it means and how do you tell them it never goes away - anyone please?) perhaps it may make things easier for him. I've found the forum just it time thankfully and you can't get me off it at the moment. Why do pschs give you a diagnosis and not offer any follow-up support, this I don't understand? Where do I go from there, apart from here of course! Thanks for being here folks, and thanks Jomarie for starting up this topic afresh cos it will help so many of us out here in cyberland. I couldn't face putting the reality down in black and white and now I can, although I was willing to talk about everything else on the forum and did fleetingly mention his dx in something else but not intensively. Daisy

Interesting - I'm not on the spectrum (although I do have some Aspie tendancies) and I have always been a Tom Boy. One of my sons is dx AS. Even now (aged 40) I'm still more boyish in my traits I don't think it's something we ever lose we just adjust to what society expects us to be. Apparently when I was a kid I would have screaming fits whenever my mum tried to get me into a skirt and I still get on better with blokes than lasses because they're more straightforward to understand. I got kicked out of the Girl Guides as a kid because I was too boyish (I'm a Scout leader now) and enjoyed climbing trees and riding my friend Mark's chopper bike, I liked to play cowboys and indians and wanted to be a police officer because I hate it when people break laws but I didn't make the height! Daisy

Hi Karin, When you talk about assessing the twins easier than he could, I was talking to my son's psych about a similar kind of situation. When she was originally considering whether to give him a diagnosis of AS I explained that what she was seeing with my son (by the time he came to her he was 8 years old) was years of training (by us) to get him to a social stage that was becoming acceptable in polite society. He is now really good (most of the time) in social situations and only returns to his normal self in the security of familiar territory. We have probably all done this over the years in our different ways especially if you have a child like mine who is high up the spectrum to start with and you reckoned he was just a particularly naughty child. (Especially as my other three kids - including his twin were not like this). It was only when I met another child with AS and saw the similarities that I considered taking it down a more medical road. His psych took this into account and is now willing to give him a diagnosis of AS - which I really felt he required to make his move to high school easier and so that he could understand why he operates the way he does. I don't think educational folk and medical folk realise just how much work we do to help our kids perform "normally" before we seek their professional assistance. And what Zemanski said about going through the GP I would agree with - his school teacher advised we do that because it's a lot quicker and it has been. By the way, my son's on packed lunches, perhaps someone should do a poll to see what the stats are on this one and send it to the DFES. Keep going strong, Daisy

Hi Stephanie, I'm just new to this site too and I remember the shock of finding out about Martin. It didn't start to sink in until his paedetrician said we may be able to get Disability Living Allowance for him, then I couldn't stop crying! She was so great, gave me her personal mobile number and everything in case I felt really bad. Then it dawned on me that Martin (9-years-old) is still Martin whether he has a label or not and he doesn't care. On his particularly mad days he goes out in things like bright lime green socks tucked into his trousers and wearing sandals and he doesn't care a jot what people think. He has been bullied but his eccentricity seems to work a charm and kids don't bother anymore. (A bit like Dill Pickles from All Grown Up). His life will carry on as it always has, except it's getting easier for him as we all understand him better (he has 3 brothers and a twin sister). I was scared to tell my mum and dad at first because when I broached the subject to them years ago that he didn't seem quite normal I got shot down in flames. Anyway I told them and gave them something I had downloaded from the OASIS website, called a grandparents guide. It was an excellent piece, very down to earth and they're dealing with it fine now. I say, sit back and enjoy the ride. It's pretty scary but Bill Gates seems to have done OK for himself! Daisy

Hi, I'm another Tyne and Wear mum - from Newcastle. Haven't had much to do with the LEA yet as Martin was referred via the doctor - his teacher advised us it would be quicker and it has been, good old NHS certainly gets my vote. Got another meeting with the child psycologist tomorrow and for some reason they've got a second psycologist sitting in too?! Not sure why. His first meeting with her was typical, she sat down to get us to sign some forms, and asked us what the date was (as you do). Martin replied - in his deadpan voice: "It's the 27th, because tomorrow is the 28th." Now how could she not work that out! School originally became concerned because of his dyspraxia. He is down to be seen by a speech therapist through school and has FLS lessons within mainstream school which he loves. His current teacher his holding on to him for another year (Year 5) as she is used to his little ways and feels he will benefit more! Well, back to work, Daisy

Hi Mandyque and everyone talking about hols, Ours are usually not that bad on the whole, we go camping and Martin usually gets through the days by knowing there's a gift shop somewhere that he can visit (that's his obsession). I will never forget a few years ago someone (who didn't know him) describing Martin as the most miserable child he had ever seen which was quite hurtful as on the whole he's quite a happy person - it's only when we're out of his usual environment that he can become distressed. Anyway, this year on holiday he coped fine generally although I had a few times when he would refuse to get out of the car because he didn't know where we were going and there wasn't a gift shop to coax him out. I must look like a horrible mother trying to get this screaming 9-year-old out of a car. Unfortunately a week of rain quite often mean't that plans made often had to be re-organised. By the end of the week we just left him inside the car and viewed things from the car park which isn't quite the same but a lot easier on the ears! Going down to the south coast at the back end of August (we live in Newcastle) so I need an in-car charger for a Gameboy now. Ah - happy days!

Hi Nellie and all, Very, very glad to be here. I was led here because I was searching google to find out whether Martin's swearing was normal, seems it's not unusual at least which gives me some relief. Now I've just got to work on how to stop it and a computer ban would be unbearable for all of us! I've got so much to read up on now, it's tremendous. Don't know where to start really so I'll just browse around and have a good time. Thank you all, Daisy

Hi Everyone, I've just joined the throngs of ASD parents, grandparents etc as my 9 year old son has just been diagnosed with Aspergers (he's number 4 of 5 kids). We always knew he was different and finally someone in the medical profession listened to us, which was so good. Since I've been able to read up on this syndrome it has really opened my eyes and I've become a lot closer to my son as a result and him to me. After all these years I now know why he doesn't come up for a cuddle like his twin sister, why he gets so distraught when I try to get him to wear a pair of shorts, why the computer is his best friend (along with another boy with Aspergers), why he's obsessed with gift shops, why he breaks down when his soft boiled egg is hard (was - never is now!) - so many questions answered and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I understand my son at last, and now he cuddles me - it's a bit odd, head down so I only get the top of his head, a bit stiff around the arms but he's learning this valuable social skill, along with many others. I feel as happy as my son in a gift shop!