alanm

Good luck Alan

I still find it horrendously difficult to approach people I don't know and start conversations, I'm best when another person introduces themself first, or if there's a mutual 3rd party to make said introduction, naturally I've added my vote. Not surprised that as yet there haven't been ANY votes for approaching first.

Have voted "have worked and intend to again". The difficulty for so many with AS in finding employment representative of their skills I think is mostly with interviews, before that stage adverts stipulating good communication skills, and in the job when they want contact with customers and/or suppliers. Found this thread on MoneySavingExpert, the poster had difficulties with being correctly diagnosed but what he writes about interviews says it all.

Hi Christo and welcome. Wish I could be posting with ideas or tips, but sadly only to say "Join the club" as I'm an adult with AS in the same boat. Long term unemployment because of not interviewing well, or not even getting interviews, is a common plight among adults with AS, with "good" and "excellent communication skills" spewed over job adverts left right and centre. It is a constant feeling of Here's another thread I posted about frustration in a recent interview, that the employer hadn't prepared having missed sentences in my covering letter. Would just like to wish your daughter the very best of luck, as I could do with that luck too. Alan

Good on you, sounds like you had fun. I enjoy dancing myself, to "Northern" soul music which has its own dance nights away from the mainstream nightclub scene and people are so much friendlier. I almost feel able to, not quite forget having AS, but at least not feel so conscious of it, when enjoying meeting my friends there.

Pleased to see this consultation, I'll definitely have a lot to say on the employment area.

Hello and welcome. Very best of luck with the dx. Can identify with much of your story, especially the school / teenage bullying aspect. All the best, Alan

Great news on the presentation and good luck for the exam on Monday.

Firstly, welcome aboard Lifevoyager, putting that first post up must have been a little daunting but so many of us are in the same boat. I'm a similar age, 38 in June, I did get a dx age 4, but it was then a dx of "autism" as "Asperger" wasn't commonly used then, but likewise it was still difficult for my parents as similarly I was bright and developed language mostly OK. Posted specially to empathise on the bullying, I got it too. I can so identify with this, I've often felt the peer pressure from "well meaning" friends wanting to see me in a relationship, more than I'd actually feel I'd want one myself. Again it is the "expectation" thing which I think is actually even worse for males because we're expected to be pushing forward and making first moves. This rings even more bells for me, I just don't think it would be right for me to do the whole dating thing as I couldn't live together, I too need that space. Even just sharing a holiday apartment with friends in a club on weekends away was a bit too suffocating, but you're right about still liking company, just to need a little more space too. I've been heartened that despite having Asperger I have achieved those friendships, unlike when I was such a very shy, bullied and withdrawn teenager.

Thanks Teresa and Kathryn for your posts, have now had confirmation that I was definitely rejected, as I expected really. So frustrating though, keeping fingers crossed on another couple of applications recently sent.

Many happy returns today Pearl, have a good one. Best wishes, Alan

Good luck with the offers

Yes admittedly they'd wasted their own time on that point.

I had a job interview last Thursday. Before going I felt boosted that I had got the interview as my outgoing letter had already said "I would finally make you aware that I do have a moderate condition of Asperger's Syndrome, so would not be well suited to customer or supplier contact", and I was pleased they were interviewing me in apparent full awareness of this. However a few questions into the interview I got "How are you at dealing with awkward customers?" I referred back to the letter and the woman admitted that she hadn't noticed this part, and didn't know what Asperger was. I was asked because the "small family run business", really is that small, it is just father and daughter (interviewer) and the new person, and on two days of most weeks they would be out of the office a lot leaving the new person to work alone, thus being the lone face and voice of the company. What got to me most about this is that as jobseekers we are constantly reminded to prepare by finding out about companies so they can ask "What do you know about us?". Yet on this occasion they hadn't prepared as they clearly overlooked that sentence in my letter.

Similar problem in Norfolk, as regards not having access to Prospects. I've been undertaking this "Flexible Routeways" with one local provider but it is open to everyone, not just disabled people. There was already another lad with Asperger so the provider are aware of it. Shaw Trust, as I understand, only operate for those people specifically on Incapacity, which I'd be nowhere near qualifying for. Anyway welcome to the board Ricayboy, coincidence I'm looking for Accounting too. Best of luck.

Was in computer programming until a redundancy in Sept 2002. Had some interviews for more of the same but everyone wanted me to get involved in customer facing analysis and rejected me for not having the confidence for that. While temping in general admin for a local public sector employer I took up Accounting courses, a few people had suggested this would make similar use of my mental skills. Eventually I got 3 and a bit months of temp placements doing that, though one didn't go well because I had to receive phone calls from suppliers that the employer was overdue paying. I've applied for many permanent jobs but don't get offered them as the employers can inevitable find someone with better communication skills and turn me down . It is so frustrating to know I'm so capable of the work generally, if I could find a department with enough manpower for someone else to have the contact with customers and suppliers while I can get on with my job of transaction posting. I'm about to post another thread about an interview last week as it goes.

Hello, realise it is a while since you posted this, did you get much response at the time? It is certainly something that needs to be addressed, I'm an AS adult with good skills with computers and numeracy thus far from being "incapable of work" as defined for benefits purposes, but face the obstacle of requirements for "good / excellent communication skills" plastered left right and centre in so many job adverts, and the "selling oneself" in interviews being difficult, if I even get to interview stage. Prospects could do with being rolled out nationally too, I'm in Norfolk yet there's no office nearer than London and Sheffield.

Hi all, just posting to say join the club. I can't add any 'advice' to the thread per se but empathising because I'm going through it too. This is the bit that really sucks, in a team where I had long term temporary work before, one colleague stuck out as someone who would be chosen over me in an interview for her apparent confidence. Yet in the team I would see her misusing the internet in work time, gossipping about celebrities and worse still, slating her own colleagues when their backs and those of supervisors were turned. Now that I'm not in work, finding a new job is so difficult when "good communication skills" is plastered across job specifications left right and centre. I write covering letters to explain to employers that there would be support available to them via my local Disability Adviser at the job centre and a third party provider where I've been on a "Flexible Routeways" support programme, but it is their market at the moment and that means nothing to them when they could just choose someone else over me anyway.

Hi Warren, I hadn't been on this board for a while but had just found this thread, I've been on Flexible Routeways for a while too. I must admit I'd be very perturbed to be offered a placement like this and it certainly doesn't sound entirely legit, as per Pearl's reply: I would certainly refuse it stating a reason like this if I would have been in that situation. I've been doing an admin placement for a couple of months, it isn't great but not bad either (wouldn't say where for confidentiality), only one day a week as there is not actually a job going, they can only do the three week full time thing when there is. My own provider have been good in that they haven't come up with things like telesales so blatantly conflicting with having AS. In applying for other jobs I have been letting places know they could have me on a placement basis under the scheme, in the hope they may be more suitable and with a definite job possibility which my current one hasn't. I realise it's a couple of months since the last post on this thread, just posted myself because I'd been on the same scheme and can empathise from that angle.

Hello and welcome to the board. I'm 37 myself, my communication difficulties have resulted that I am struggling to find a job at the moment. On a positive note I do enjoy a friendly active niche social life. Alan

Join the club, tell me about it I've had so many posts on the subject myself, "Noone is giving me a chance" is the operative sentence for me too, with "good / excellent communication skills" spewed over adverts left right and centre. I'm so capable of work overall and I'm sure there's no way I'd have been signed off as an "Incapacity" case, and I so want to work anyway, but being an employer's first choice of person is another matter altogether. I've now had 6 months out of work, albeit split either side of a 2 week temporary job in June, so am now eligible for a Jobcentre programme called "WorkStep". I arranged to see my disability adviser, he spoke of 3 local organisations who run this, one was recommended by Asperger East Anglia at a drop in session back in May, and I now have my appointment to see them on Monday. Where do these usually advertise? Ideal in theory but all the public sector jobs (mostly council) I see in papers etc have had the usual communication skills quoted so no further forward. Talking of Asperger in public sector employment, a while back I did sign a Number 10 e-petition for this very purpose, everyone reading this thread please consider signing this as its closing date is next Wednesday 17th. Link to this petition to "Create more public sector jobs for people with Asperger syndrome."

All the very best for the future Bid. Alan

Yes I've seen a few managers like in both these quotes!

Nice to hear about the interview , hope for some more good news soon

Hope he got on OK, fingers crossed. Alan